Finding Peace in Imperfect Consistency

Have you checked in with yourself lately? 

That simple question opens the door to one of the most profound realisations about consistency and mental well-being. 

When my mind and body seemed locked in a silent war, I found myself at a crossroads—unable to deliver on my commitment to Men's Mental Health Month content despite its deep importance to me.

Through this struggle came an unexpected whisper of wisdom: "Consistency is fluid." 

Like the viscosity of a substance holding together through internal friction, true consistency isn't about rigid perfection but about honouring your values regardless of your energy level. 

Some days you operate at 100%, other days at 50%, and sometimes at merely 10%. The revelation transformed my understanding of showing up for myself and others.

This episode delves into the liberation that comes when we redefine consistency as a fluid concept rather than an unforgiving standard of perfection. It offers permission to embrace your current capacity—whether that's 100% or just 10%—and recognise that progress happens through persistent showing up, not through perfection. 

For men, especially, who often face expectations of unwavering strength, this perspective creates space for authentic engagement with mental health.

As we continue highlighting men's mental well-being this June, I'm excited to announce our upcoming Fight for Life 2.0 event on November 29th to conclude this year's Movember movement. 

This men's conference will emphasise play, psychological safety, and practical tools for well-being. Whether you're struggling with your own consistency or supporting someone who is, remember: your best effort today is valid, even if it differs from yesterday's best. 

How will you show up for yourself and define your consistency in the face of life's inevitable curveballs?

Episode recommendations: https://pod.fo/e/2deaf1 with Dare Dairo , https://pod.fo/e/2e2c16 with Dr Kenneth Uwajeh

Transcript

Introduction and Self-Check-In

Speaker 1 1:10

Hey, mindful partners, how are you doing? And I'm sure by now you understand that that is good for. Have you checked in with yourself lately, or, as a matter of fact, today, yourself, lately in my life, or as much of that today? If you have not, this is not just a subtle reminder that you should do just that, but also like a permission slip to checking with yourself. Yeah, reflect, do it, respond. Your inner self is waiting and also be ready to embrace whatever your innate inner wisdom is going to.

Men's Mental Health Month Challenge

The Internal War and Surrender

Speaker 1 1:51

This is mindfully brought to you by black images, as I call it, at the beginning of the season, if you remember very well, after taking, when I came back from that long break I took in april, I did say that I was returning softer, slower and more certain, certain that turning inwards isn't weakness, it is wisdom, wisdom and resolve. That's the part of that clip that was missing from the SBNRR template that I used to navigate the noises in my head and in the world. Now let's get to today's story. Of course, I know it's june and it's men's mental health month and it is no longer news. If you've stayed with mindful, it's a mission, and indeed me for a bit. You know that this particular societal pain point is very, very dear to my heart. So what's the idea? I had planned, as I did last year on mindfully with sumishi, that this month I'll have only male perspective through the month of june. And this was going smoothly. Of course you heard if you've not heard it, go back and hear diary diary talking about dual um vulnerability and last week you had dr kenneth speaking to reframing how to provide mental health of help to ourselves and in the society. Go check that and I might just link that in the show note. But, like I said, it was going smoothly and it just stopped. Presently my mind and my body are in some sort of war, a silent and I dare say, salient war that I'm trying to understand myself. It is as if my body has built a wall as purposeful as the Berlin Wall, that my body can't just climb or cross over. So this week I was caught between offering a no show or doing a rerun of an old episode or just running solo. The solo wasn't and isn't so much of a bother. I could do that. I do that all the time. I've almost always covered a non-guest episode with a solo chat, so that was not the problem. What was happening in my head was this was different, or so I thought.

Speaker 1 4:47

It's Men's Mental Health Month. What will be the theme of the solo? What story would I speak to? Men's mental health, well-being and how they navigate the world. I might jump on the cause. Yeah, I'm not a man and I cannot walk in those shoes.

Speaker 1 5:10

No matter the increasing gender narratives, the gossips that is going on on social media, that plague us every day, I am extremely glad that the world of psychology, psychiatry and social sciences is beginning to beam such lights into men's mental well-being, and the whole of the media, if you are a social media person, is flooded with information and stories about men's mental well-being. Trust me when I say I am extremely glad. If you remember, that was how a fight for life was birthed during June 2024's men's mental health month, so I'm extremely glad. So what I was going to speak about was just non-existent. Like, what do I want to say? And, as usual, I started to speak to myself. And are you really going to ghost your audience to make sure they have over 70 episodes that you can rerun and refer them to? Still, even though, or boy, still like greasy? Anywho, after a lot of personal board meetings the one that I referred to at the beginning of this episode, with no inspiration or a way forward. I said to myself you don't be, you don't cast, you're going to have to have your first no show and uluwatu miche, that is okay.

Consistency Is Fluid: A Revelation

Speaker 1 6:59

Getting to this point of what I refer to as a personal defeat was almost crippling, but I had to speak to myself that it's okay. Then, with a surrender, came a whisper, very much like when god spoke to elijah in the silence. If you don't know about that drama, the scene in the bible, please just go look for it. And like she was so upset. And then god came. There was noise, there was um, there was storm, there was heathering, but in the silence I heard consistency is fluid, uluwatsu machine, hmm, okay.

Speaker 1 7:52

So as a pseudo-researcher that I am, I began to search out what consistency means, because consistency is fluid. What does that mean? I know consistency itself is self-explanatory and we've heard motivations about how it's about always behaving and performing in a similar way, and that is completely true. I am not taking anything away from that that. What I might add to that socially accepted definition is consistency is behaving and performing in a similar way that supports your values and beliefs.

Speaker 1 8:39

This definition still doesn't hit quite hit what I believe. The consistency is fluid expression that came in for me during that moment of surrender. So I turn to the second definition. As a linguist that I am, and if you use the dictionary often, you know exactly what I did there. The second definition says the way a substance holds together in thickness and viscosity. Viscosity, of course, I tap on viscosity, which is a state of being thick and semi-fluid in consistency due to wait for it, internal friction, and there was a light bulb moment for me and I said yes, consistency is indeed flowing. So this is what it means to be consistent.

Showing Up With Your Best

Speaker 1 9:57

It is not about perfection, it is about showing up and giving, at whatever level of energy. That is your best at the time. You showed up and you honored your values yourself, regardless of the intensity of your energy. As my my son would say, practice does not make perfect, it makes for progress. It was as if surrendering to the fact that I couldn't serve and trusting that my God-given innate wisdom would serve, opened the doors of creativity and opportunities, albeit personal, to me.

Speaker 1 10:54

So I was okay with a no show and no solo chat or no reruns, so I wasn't going to share anything or record anything or share anything or record anything. I was just going to let the fluidity in my consistency marinate and talk about it after the next mental health month, and I was really okay by that. Then I have a friend checking on me and um sorry, thank you for checking, by the way checked in on me and I said honestly, sre, I do not have anything scheduled for the week. And his response was I feel you, it will be least, though, even if a rant just rant, you got got it. Of course, I didn't respond, but I knew that I'd be sharing my learning on consistency on this episode.

Fight for Life 2.0 Announcement

Speaker 1 11:58

So, while I will not get academic or technical about what consistency might mean because frankly, I'm too drained to even do a deep dive and, as I said earlier, it's just simply showing up and doing your best, and there'll be times your best or is 100, sometimes it will be 90% below 50% and sometimes it's just 10%. The important thing about what I learned about confidence or consistency being fluid, is that you showed up and invested that 10% of your best into the performing behavior that will birth the substance that will hold you together. It's about honoring the purpose and building focus. You will not always be your 100% best, but I put it to you that that your 10% best too, is valid. Embrace it, honor it, nurture it and you find yourself gradually build back to your 100. Build back to your hundred and I hope that with this few words of rants of mine, I hope I have been able to convince you or not confuse you, that consistency is fluid represents to you.

Speaker 1 13:50

Before I go, I need to circle back to men's mental well-being and at Mindful Wits and Machines, we're not resting. In fact, there might be an episode that will feature only men to wrap this month up Working on that. To wrap this month up working on that. But most importantly, we're gearing up for a fight for life 2.0 this November to wrap up this year's Movember movement. If you missed the last edition, you do not want to miss this. November 29th is the date, so mark your calendars. You could also check out Mindfully With Sumishio on Instagram or I am brotherala on Instagram, that's our resident co-host to get a feel of how last year went down. Of course, the fight for life is only for men. So if you're a woman listening to this, get ready to send in your man to come enjoy this men's conference that emphasizes playing, speaks to the psychological safety that men need and, of course, give tools and have fun.

Speaker 1 15:07

So that's it for today, on mindfully with tamesha, before I go, whether you're male and female, this is for you. How will you show up for yourself and define your consistency in the face of whatever curveball life will throw? Until next episode, stay mindful, stay consistent, stay fluid. A huge shout out to my buddy, sa Repeaters, for encouraging me to drop this. He didn't know what I was going to talk about, but he just said rant, if you want, it's going to be lit. I hope it is lit. So love yourself, love your neighbor, love your country. Above all of this, love god. He is the essence of your being. I am uluw Tumishi, onla dakpo Kuku. Thank you.