Sacred Pauses: Evolving in the Waiting

What if the stillness you're experiencing isn't stagnation, but sacred waiting? What if evolution—personal, spiritual, emotional—requires periods of apparent inactivity before breakthrough?

Through ancient Nigerian folklore and the metaphor of a butterfly's metamorphosis, this reflective episode explores how we navigate the mystery of our own becoming. Drawing parallels between the impatient monkey who emerged from hibernation too early and our modern tendency to rush transformation, we uncover why patience is not merely a virtue but a necessity for deep change.

Most of us have complex relationships with change. We crave evolution but fear the in-between spaces—those uncomfortable periods of uncertainty where the old has been left behind but the new hasn't yet emerged. These transitions create flutters in our stomachs and palpitations in our chests as we wonder: Will I fail? Will people think me foolish for leaving the familiar? Yet it's precisely these uncomfortable spaces where true growth happens.

The rat race—both emotional and economic—has us living life in fast-forward mode, constantly searching for purpose and meaning while forgetting to be present in the moment. Victor Frankl's logotherapy suggests humans are motivated by the search for life's purpose, even amid suffering. But what if we could pursue meaning without allowing the search to consume us? What if we could honor both the becoming and the being?

Stop, breathe, notice, reflect, respond, resolve. Join me in exploring how mindfulness can transform our relationship with change, helping us recognize that nature never hurries but is always on time. Share this episode with someone who needs permission to embrace their own sacred waiting period.

Suggested Episode:https://pod.fo/e/2f31b6

Transcript

Welcome and Mindful Introduction

Speaker 1 1:01

Hey, mindful Partners, how are you? Of course you know that that's good for you to check in on yourself. Wherever this moment finds you. I'm inviting you to breathe in through your nose and let it go from your mouth. This episode is not a how-to. It is not a lecture either. It is, in the fashion of Mindful Yud Sumise a story, a slow, reflective, hopefully unfolding story about change. You know that kind that doesn't always announce itself with fanfare. We're talking about evolutionary change, not just the textbook version or the textbook kind, but the quiet kind, the sacred waiting, the transformation in the in-between. So let me invite you to bring your full self, the restless parts of yourself and of course the patient wants too and let's sit together inside the mystery of becoming, and let's do it together mindfully. But before I get into the story, I hope you enjoyed the all male conversation anchored by Ola on Mindfully with Tumishe's last episode. If you have not listened you are on a long thing I'll link that in the show's description and then go, enjoy, share, especially with the men in your life, and let's see how we can begin to entrench a new narrative around gender debates.

Speaker 1 3:00

Now let's get to the story of evolution. So I have always had issues with the concept of evolution and I still don't understand it fully. Thanks to Mrs Onojaife this is my secondary school biology teacher who basically thought, at best, this concept was pagan. While I do not agree that man evolved from apes to humans and, frankly, being African and Nigerian, and a Yoruba girl to be precise, I grew up with a lot of folklore and stories that attempt to explain why this species of animal, that is, the apes or monkeys, have the some semblance to humans. I have a favorite one and I'll share that with you. This one says the supreme being gave the monkey we'll use the european word here, inoki somewhat meant to apply to his body, totally covering all parts of his body, with a caveat it was to stay hidden or in hibernation for seven days before he shows himself to the animal kingdom again. However, mr Monkey Inoki couldn't wait till the seventh day he came out of hibernation. Wait till the seventh day. He came out of hibernation and thought his evolution couldn't be complete and, according to the story, this is why he didn't become fully human.

Speaker 1 4:58

As a young child, this story was not only hilarious, but it was also used to preach patience and delayed gratification. My imagination as a child would put enoki in one quiet place, thinking to himself and becoming very antsy and jittery. My thought was why wouldn't it come out of hibernation or hiding before the stipulated seven days? And if my memory serves, the Inoki stepped out on the fifth day, and of course he didn't come out as human. He must have been bored, and this is coming from a child who would rather stay alone and write on her walls, the walls of a bedroom, than relate with people. I felt such sympathy and compassion for Inoki that, as an animal, he desperately wanted to be human, but wasn't patient enough to wait out the seven days.

The Butterfly Metaphor

Speaker 1 6:13

As a young adult, though, this story and some stories about other animals, like that of the tortoise and the Hare, which I think is represented in all cultures of the world, became the guiding light of my path, teaching me resilience, patience and, most importantly at least to me, delayed gratification. And sometimes I have to be honest here I become very passive with my goals, with myself and even my relationships. But now, as a mindful adult, these stories help me connect with the world. I am trying to navigate, with their obvious and not so obvious lessons, ergo Evolution. My account, of course, and the representations of this story has taken some creative liberty, that will suit, but it also carries the basic message of the story and my version of evolution. You see, as I have way forward, evolved, I have come to the understanding that the concept of evolution is the very fulcrum on which existence pivots, and to me it's the only constant thing that exists in the universe Change, the constant wheel of change. Now let's look at another story that I think speaks to again evolution. It's another animal story the butterfly. The butterfly, the evolution of the butterfly that is used to metaphorically explain metamorphosis or changes is the one I enjoy thoroughly and I enjoy exploring it.

Living in Life's Transitions

Speaker 1 8:21

The evolution of humans from conception to birth, the birth of his or her journey through life. This story of conception to birth is one that will, in my opinion, capture the full essence of evolution. Okay, at this point it is imperative that I draw some similarities between these stories to the souls that have been championing since the beginning of this year. Who are you becoming on the way to achieving? Before I go any further, I must say I'm not an expert in evolution, so don't come at me with the scientific versions or the textbook versions and all-doubting to say no, I am not an expert, but I see it in everything around me and, by extension, around us, me and, by extension, around us. Unfortunately, I think we've become so jaded as humans that we cannot relate the daily changes and challenges we experience to evolution. We leave on autopilot and we are blind to the wonder that is existence. For example, a man and a woman come together and of course you know that's the biblical coming together and knowing each other and a child is conceived and nine months actually four to two weeks journey starts.

Speaker 1 10:01

Very much like the butterfly's metamorphosis. One similarity here is that when the butterfly starts on its flying career, it doesn't know where its flight will take it after it breaks out from its shell by itself. If you're wondering why I said by itself, if you didn't do it as a child, because I didn't. When we're children, we would see a cocoon and in our beat to help whatever was in the cocoon usually a lava we would break it and that ends the life of the butterfly. You see where I'm going with this. Typically, a butterfly's life starts with an egg laid on a plant and it probably does not know what flower it will pollinate when it breaks out of its shell, as with us humans.

Speaker 1 11:03

The parable here is simple. It's that we humans are very much like that. We have such a long journey in life and with life and we don't know how it's going to go. But evolutionarily we are also different to the butterfly, whose gestation and growth are mostly external. But the permit me to use this word gestation of us humans is internal and will continue to be internal till we transition to another dimension.

Speaker 1 11:50

Enter the war within, the uncertainty that drives us to be or not to be. While some of us get up, go and embrace this uncertainty, most of us just sit in the dirt of this uncertainty. We mostly don't grasp our little phases of the now evolution because we are busy looking for the big purpose and the passion that will drive that purpose. Truthfully, there's nothing wrong with that, and if you're still in this phase of your personal evolution, this is your wake-up call. You have heard me say over and over that life is lived in the transitions.

Finding Purpose Without Losing Yourself

Speaker 1 12:46

My understanding of the concept of evolution, that is, change, is what birthed that expression for me. I work to live in the present state of growth so I can take something from that phase as a lesson, a life tool or anything of the same to the next phase of my being, and of course this is highly subjective. But all the various forms of philosophies, economic and relational, I dare say, emerged from this place of evolution that is the wheel of constant change, a place where we are frantically looking for the meaning of life and living, where no one particularly has been able to help us, not a thought leader, a face as being able to answer everyone's question. And I will explain what I mean. I mean that all this philosophical schools of thought and the psychologies that back them haven't totally give us answers to these existential questions that seem to plague us, substantial questions that seem to plague us. What these have done, at best, at least from the little I know, is to help you and I question our reasoning and, at worst, sucked us into one huge rat race alongside that proverbial hamster Maybe not proverbial, because I've seen the hamster do it moving on, ending in the wheel of life, in we go Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.

Speaker 1 14:45

Finding the essence of being isn't a bad thing, but being sucked into it so that we forget to be, nah, that is the question as Miley Cyrus puts it. She says, she says don't fight evolution because you will never win. Nature never hurries, but it is always on time. If I were to interpret this with my lens, I would say it means for us to be aware of the season. We are enough to see the change or to embrace the change and learn from the change. The big question here for me is we do not have a good enough relationship with ourselves, that the question of purpose then eludes us, and this is not entirely a thought to be fair, because we survive on expectations, and these starts from expectations.

Speaker 1 15:56

Our parents placed the nurses we develop in what don miguel ruiz calls the domestication of humans, to struggling to juxtapose, that is, put side by side, what we have been conditioned to believe we are, or who we have been conditioned to believe we are, with the realization of what and who we have now come to believe we have evolved into we have now come to believe we have evolved into. The self-knowledge gap is wide. So there's a constant war in our insides, or on our insides, that question these, and we are in constant transition to finding the meaning of life. Again, this is not necessarily a bad thing, because it is in the curiosity that we might find that meaning for that face. Sometimes it aligns with our values and domestication. And at other times, despite all our best efforts, things do fall apart. The center is shaky and we are stuck. This is why I hurtedly align with victor frankel and his logotherapy.

Speaker 1 17:21

Don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with the workings of logotherapy, but in simple terms it's the foundation on which Victor based his book Man's Search for Meaning. The theory is founded on the belief that human nature is motivated by the search for a life purpose. So logotherapy is the pursuit of that meaning for one life purpose. So logotherapy is the pursuit of that meaning for one's life. It is a form used in psychotherapy that emphasizes the human drive to find meaning in life, even amidst suffering. Now that suffering is what we try to run from, very much like the Enoki who stepped out on the fifth day before its becoming.

Speaker 1 18:21

In recent times I have spoken so much about being aware of being and and I know sometimes it can sound very esoteric and spiritual, but that's not my intention. The rat race emotional and economic we have found ourselves in makes life feel like we are on a fast rewind mode, like a cassette tape rolling on the forward or on the rewind, and we are waiting with bated breath for it to end and then to start playing again and we continue this cycle. Do we need to find purpose? Yes. Do we need to identify the passion that will drive the purpose? Oh, yes. What I'm trying to get at is we can do all of this with the presence of mind, without allowing the search of meaning to swallow us. The way this is different to the disease to please pandemic is that the thing that motivates us to search for purpose and meaning can easily turn to one that will make one deviate from being.

Sacred Waiting and Final Reflections

Speaker 1 19:46

As I begin to round off my thoughts, let me share a note that I wrote to myself on change, the chaos of change. This is what cripples most of us. We do love changes, the in-betweens of change, though we do not, the uncertainty that will challenge the functional reality. That is what sends the flutters around the pit of the gut, the palpitations. Will it fail? Will it succeed? Will this venture save me? Will people think me stupid for leaving the familia? For a fact, am I okay stepping out of the familia?

Speaker 1 20:39

It takes courage to make a decision to change. It also takes courage not to take that leap. However, maybe the second type of courage has stopped serving. A new familia is calling you. Are you ready to write the story of the new familiar? Finally, I'll leave you with these mindful questions when in your life are you forcing your wings to fly when you're still in the cocoon? What if your seizing of stillness isn't stagnation, but sacred waiting? Stop, breathe, notice, reflect, respond, then resolve.

Speaker 1 21:44

These are the thoughts running through my mind as I travel through the second half of the year. Some of us have become, or are becoming, that person who will drive the goals of the year. You know, those ones that we wrote on our vision boards we have created for the year, the ones that we wrote with excitement and all positive energies in January, november, december. Or, if you're like me, the vision of every new year is written in September. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I moved towards my new year, september. My head is full and I'm almost in panic mode.

Speaker 1 22:26

And in the middle of all of this, I had a conversation with Aya Daniels, that is, the author of Beyond Romance, and he simply said Uluwatsumishi, give yourself time. And then he followed it with a picture that he sent to me the evolution of a butterfly. Coincident? I think not. Nothing in life is a coincidence. So love yourself, love your neighbor. Love your country Above all of this. Love god. He is the essence of your being. Thank you for staying with this well rant, or stories I've shared with you today. Thank you, and you know that you can support mindfully with sumishi by following us on socials, sharing episodes that resonate with you with loved ones and rating the show anywhere you listen to podcasts. Until next time, stay mindful. I am Oluwatumishi Ola Dakpo Kuku.