The Question That Saved A Life

One late night, I asked a throwaway radio question because I needed something to fill a segment. Months later, a woman called during a Christmas broadcast and told me that question made her pause long enough to choose life. I’ve carried that moment for years, and it changed how I understand the power of words, not as motivation, but as responsibility.

We talk about what it means to speak like someone might be listening on their hardest day, because they might be. I share why I never asked her to explain her pain, and how “holding space” can be more healing than investigating. We also get personal about sensitivity, the pull toward cynicism, and what it’s like trying to stay reflective in a hard world while living with bipolar affective disorder.

You’ll hear a short guided breathing practice and the mindfulness framework I lean on in my own healing journey: stop, breathe, notice, reflect, respond, and resolve. Then I leave you with the same question that once saved a life and three gentle reflections you can journal with, especially if you’re rebuilding your relationship with yourself, your story, and your mental health.

If this helped, subscribe, share it with someone who needs a pause, and leave a review so more listeners can find the series.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Mindful partners, how are you? And how has the week been? Settling into the second quarter, mindfully, with hope, curiosity, and a beginner's mind? I hope so, because that's what I am trying to do in this year. A year that has been full of uncertainties on the global stage and local levels. This series has been a roller coaster for me. Uh thinking of which part of the stories that speak to mine without sounding subby and adding inhibitions that will hold space for me and you. That was the real work for the series. But you know what? I will go through it over again. Even if it helps just one person, I would have fulfilled my objective, I will be very satisfied and feel accomplished.

Closing The Series With A Story

SPEAKER_00 1:08

So, how do we bring these conversations full circle? Very simple. I am taking you back again, not 2016 this time. And I want to invite you to a story that I will call the story that saved a life. Over the few past few episodes, we have explored some very difficult tearing and topics. We've spoken about wounds that many people carry in silence. We've spoken about survival, we've talked about healing and about the quiet work of understanding our stories. But today I want to close out the series with a story. A story from my other days in radio. A moment that changed how I understood the power of words. I know that all of us, all of us have heard that your words are powerful. For Christians, you hear it almost every time. The tongue is fire, that your power lies in the tongue. Everybody, motivational speakers, talk about the power of words and how we speak to ourselves and others. But what this moment did for me was teach me not just the power of words, it taught me the responsibility that comes with using words. So, 2020, 2005. And one night during a late show, I asked listeners a very simple question. I did that every time I was on a night show. It wasn't a complicated question, or so I thought, it wasn't something I had rehearsed. In fact, I remember that particular day I was trying, I got to work early, late, late, and I was trying to look for what to fill up that segment with. So it was completely unrehearsed. And the question I asked was simple. If you could look at what you call a challenge directly in the face, what would you tell it?

The Unrehearsed Question On Air

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Remember, at this time I had no idea what leaving mindfully was or anything like that. But we asked this question, the show continued, music played, goals gaming, and the night moved on. I didn't think much about the question after that, you know, because it was just actually that night was just very funny. I remember everything about that night, but that's not what we're talking about right now. I had forgotten about that night until one Christmas broadcast. The Christmas broadcast of 2020. Why do I keep saying 2025? 2005. A special Christmas broadcast I was part of. A lady called Ding, and she said she wanted to thank me. At first, I'm like, thank me? I didn't understand why, of course. Then she told me something I would never forget and changed the trajectory, if you will, of my career. She said that night that I asked that question, she had planned to take her life. She'd made the decision, there's nothing that was gonna change it. But then she remembered that I would come up at 10 p.m. and said to herself, let me listen to Tumishe one last time. And that was when she heard that question. If you could look at a challenge in your face, what would you tell it? She said to

A Listener Calls Back At Christmas

SPEAKER_00 5:25

me, the question made her pause, and that pause changed everything. What did that moment teach me? That moment changed the way I approached broadcasting forever. My music, uh my playlist, my scripting before I put on the mic, that moment changed it because I realized something very important. When we speak, when we ask questions, when we tell stories, we never truly know who is listening. We never truly know the state of their minds, we never truly know what phase of life they are in. Some people are listening casually, others are listening while carrying burdens we cannot see. And sometimes all a person needs is a moment of pause, long enough to hear a different

The Responsibility Behind Every Word

SPEAKER_00 6:36

possibility. You might be asking what happened after. Over the years, she called the show again. We kind of became friends, and I'm glad to say to you today that she's living a full life. People sometimes ask me, because of course a lot of people were listening on that Christmas broadcast when they're calling on the show. They asked me if I ever asked her why she wanted to take her life at night. The truth, I never did. Not because I wasn't curious, hey, I'm a journalist, but because sometimes people don't need us to investigate their pain. They simply need someone willing to sit with them while they find a way back to themselves. So whenever she called, whenever we spoke around that season, I was simply there listening, talking, holding space, and sometimes that is just enough. By the way, I got her permission to share this story. Earlier in the series, I had mentioned something about myself. I had said that sometimes when I talk about um how we respond to things, people may think I am too sensitive. And if I am being honest, there are days when even I wonder about that because the world can be a very hard place. And as a person living with bipolar affective disorder, I I really do think that I may be coming off too sensitive. But when you look at what is happening around us in our homes, in our communities, in our country, and across the world, it is very easy to become cynical. I tell you that it is even easier to become hardened, and easier still to become

Sensitivity, Bipolar, And Staying Soft

SPEAKER_00 8:54

jaded. You want to hear a confession? Sometimes I feel that pull too. But the reason I work so hard not to become jaded is because of moments like that phone call back in 2005. Moments that remind me that our words matter, that our presence matters, that a simple question can create a pause long enough for someone to choose life again. So if my voice sometimes sounds like I'm a little more careful, if I sometimes in my voice sound a little bit more reflective, if I seem to take the human response thing to a little bit more seriously than most. It is because I have seen what can happen when we don't, and I have also seen what can happen when we do. Actually, yesterday I was having a conversation with someone, and I say, and I said to the person, we're talking about my personality and all of that, and I said to the person that as much as I love people, I am truly, truly, truly scared of humans. But the truth also is, no matter how much my fear of humans cripple me sometimes, love always compels me to be more reflective, to take the human respond response a little bit more seriously than most people. It makes me sound a little more careful because that lady back in 2005 chose life again just because I used words with responsibility. And let it out slowly. Then ask yourself gently without judgment, are my words impeccable to myself first, then to others? And while you sit with the answer that comes to you, I invite you to take another mindful breath in through your nose for one, two, three, four, and hold. And now let it out through your mouth slowly for four, three, two, and one. Let it go. Now let's get

A Guided Breath And The Pause

SPEAKER_00 12:35

back to the show. Yes, later, on in my own journey of healing and mindfulness, which I am still on, I came to understand something. That moment on radio is what I now call a pause. A moment where the noise of your thoughts are interrupted. Um, in my own life, I have come to lean on a simple process. And if you've read my book, Living Mindfully, A Journey to Being, you might be aware of this process. Stop, breathe, notice, reflect, respond, and resolve. There's no time for me to go through this process right now. Anywho, sometimes healing begins with nothing more complicated than that. A pause, a breath, a moment to see that the stories we're telling ourselves might just be what is causing our sufferings, our mental sufferings. So today I want to leave you with that same question. That same question, the question that once reached someone at the edge of their story, if you could look at the challenge in your right life right now directly in the face, what would you be telling it? And finally, yes, finally, finally, my brethren, before we go today, I want to leave you with three gentle reflections. You know, those ones that I always say you can sit with right now or sit with them later? Yes, those ones, perhaps in a journal or just in a silence, especially if you're driving or listening to this podcast while you are taking a walk or running. Alright, are we ready? Reflection one.

Three Reflections And Final Encouragement

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Reflection two. When you look back at your life, can you identify a difficult moment that shaped your strength? What did that experience teach you about yourself? And finally, reflection three. Imagine speaking to the younger version of yourself, the one who was quietly observing the world, trying to understand people and their stories. What would you say to reassure that younger self today? Take your time with this question. Healing is not a race, it is a journey, a one that you will be on till the day you are called. And sometimes the most courageous things we can do or think we can do is to pause again, stop, breathe, notice, reflect, respond, and resolve. And remember that our story is still being written. Your story is still being written. So wherever you are on your journey, I, Ulu Tumishe, am rooting for you. Do not forget your healing does not need an audience. And if life ever feels overwhelming again, maybe all it takes is just one honest question to remind you that a story is not over yet. In case you missed it, you may want to listen to the four episodes in this series, the ones that we've explored in the last four weeks. The first is on perspectives, the second is on stories that hurt, the third is healing is the new high, and of course, this episode, the story that saved a life, or the question, pardon me, that saved a life. Follow, share, give us a like. That gave us gives us a little bit more visibility. And honestly, I would truly appreciate it. Then, if you think it supports your healing journey or your journey in any way, join the WhatsApp group. Link is in the show

Series Recap And How To Support

SPEAKER_00 18:09

notes, and you and I can continue and maybe we can help each other hold each other's hands to gain more clarity. Oh, one more thing before I go. I spoke briefly about my book in the course of this episode. The title Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being. If you need to get a copy, check the show notes. You can also find it on Amazon, Oncela, and Rovin Height. Thank you, gracias. I'm very grateful for that. A shout out to my mindful, albeit very funny assistant, Tobi Ugusui. Love yourself, love your neighbor, love your country. Above all of these, love God. He is the essence of your being. I am Uluatsumishi. Stay mindful.