MakeSumGains

Think positive thoughts about broccoli & you'll eat broccoli

• Summer • Episode 85

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This episode focuses on empowering listeners to overcome their inner critics and change their relationship with food and exercise. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, we explore the importance of positive associations and the need to manufacture triggering events to inspire change in behaviors and beliefs. 


• Understanding the "Bitch Voice" and its impact 
• Exploring the balance between discipline and rest 
• The importance of positive associations with actions 
• Reflection on the shift in my relationship with alcohol 
• The role of triggering events in behavior change 
• How to transform disempowering beliefs into empowering ones 
• Encouraging self-awareness to inspire lasting change


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Make Some Gains podcast. I'm your host, summer Venowitz, and this is a space where I'll be cutting through the bullshit and stripping away the filter. My aim is to help you reframe your mind, question the norms and push you to achieve new levels of success. Through raw conversations, I'll open up about my personal experiences, my ideas and my struggles. I want to empower you to live up to your full potential. Let's go make some gains. Hello, hello, you bad bitch. I need to make sure that my yes, okay, my microphone is on. Check, check, we all. Good, what kind of accent was that? New Zealand, hello, hello, hello, okay, I am on one today, everybody.

Speaker 1:

I've been on one recently with, oh my gosh, with my clients, with myself. Just, I am in this energy of oh, let's fucking get after it. Like, let's hold ourselves to the highest standard possible, let's do all the things that we want to do in life. Like I feel, like so many of us, we sit there and we have this list of things, this like I wish I could list of things sitting in the back of our head. I wish I would, but life is just so busy right now, bitch, everybody's life is busy. Everybody, everybody feels that way. Everybody has those days. Everybody knows what, what I'm talking about. Everybody feels that way. I had one of my clients the other day. She's like Summer, I can't listen to your podcast in public places because I just crack up and die at the things that you say and I'm like, really, why, what do you mean? I'm not funny, I'm not goofy, I am professional. So, yes, I'm just.

Speaker 1:

I'm on one today. I'm excited. Galentine's. My Galentine's event is in two days. Um, we're getting everything prepared. My hairstylist friend, emily, shout out to you, um, she's coming over and we're getting everything kind of finalized. The food we're cutting up strawberries, raspberries. I went and bought all red fruit, um, and like red drinks, like poppy drinks and what's the other one? I also. I'm like little, do not? Little, do these bitches know that they are getting healthy snacks? Little, do these bitches know that they're getting fruit and olipop and I'm making sweet potato brownies? I'm like little, do these bitches know that we're not having like poison on the table? I literally bought kombucha and I'm like I might be the only one who's drinking this, but I'm not like. I look at it like I'm not hosting a party where I'm going to sit and feed people shit, even if it's not quote unquotequote a health focused party or galentine's get together, I don't care, I don't care, it's what, it's what we're getting. So, anyways, I have been on just an absolute roll today.

Speaker 1:

Um, a very, very, very common theme among a lot of my clients recently is this idea of that sneaky little bitch voice, and I want to bring this to everybody's attention because I think it's so, so valuable. Before we're not even I don't even think we're talking about this today. I don't even remember what I wanted to talk about, Um, oh, kind of similar, but I just want to bring this up preface. Maybe I'll do a full episode on it in the future. But that bitch voice, that voice inside of your head that you say, okay, I'm gonna do this, and it gives you all of these little reasons as to why you can't or why you shouldn't. Um, yeah, where I was going with this before is we all have this laundry list of things in our minds that we wish we could do and we would do and we we would do if circumstances were different. Do them, go and do them. Sign yourself up for the fucking marathon, join the cooking class, break up with the boyfriend. I don't care, I don't know what it is that you're holding on to and you're saying, oh, someday do it.

Speaker 1:

And this common theme among all of my clients, most of my clients, is this idea of the bitch voice. And the bitch voice I call that little voice. It's kind of like the devil on your shoulder. You know we got the angel and the devil. The angels your side, the devil's against you. And the bitch voice is the voice where you you say I don't want to go to the gym, and she's like that's okay, you can take a rest day, you can. You can rest and relax. Even though you've taken seven rest days, you can take another one. She's that girl. And there's this, there's this concept of the bitch voice being straight up, right, like we know that the bitch, that is the bitch voice, but she gets sneaky. She's a sneaky little hoe bag and there's circumstances where she'll, she'll cross wires in your brain to find these avenues that make you feel really good about not getting the task done that you know you're supposed to get done.

Speaker 1:

Um, let's say, for example I'm actually going to give you an example um, two nights ago I went to gymnastics. I had the best time of my life. But I woke up and my freaking hip flexor was so sore, my wrist was so sore and I had made plans with my friend Lexi to train. We're training for a high rocks competition. I have not announced this to the world yet, or Instagram yet, because we have a lot going on right, like we Like we got this glucose monitor, we got gymnastics and I'm not going to throw another big thing, so this is kind of like a behind the scenes. We haven't, we haven't officially signed up for one yet because, um, they're the most recent or the closest ones are filled. So we I think we have to wait for the next ones to launch, but there is a, a local something in April that we might do.

Speaker 1:

Um's kind of like a mini, little high rocks race. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, because I told, I think I told like my grandma, she's like I don't know what that is, hummer. I told Logan and he's like what exactly is that? I don't know, look up a video, but it's. It's a, it's a strength X endurance race. So there's different stations, um, there's a certain amount of reps and distance and things that you have to go. Um, like, the rower is one sandbag lunges, sled push, sled pull um the skier I don't know how to say that uh, wall balls. So there's all these different stations. It usually takes like 60 to 90 minutes, I think, to complete. You can do doubles so you can have a partner. That's what me and Lexi are going to do.

Speaker 1:

And so, anyways, the next day after gymnastics, after being so sore, I had plans to go and do this freaking high rocks our first training session together. And that little bitch voice, right, she snuck in and she did it in a very creative way as to, like summer, your hip flexor feels like it's gonna pop out of socket your wrist. Like are we going to go and do this? Like high intensity exercise, like you should really cancel reschedule until you know your body's in better shape. But I look at this and again, there's nuance to this. It really depends what phase in your journey you are at.

Speaker 1:

The way that I describe this inside of my badass revolution program is you have, you have I'm not going to use the exact terms, but you have someone who struggles with their relationship to food, who struggles with their relationship to exercise, who's like the classic overachiever, who's doing so so much and she needs to tone it down like this is not for her. If that is you, you're like doing two hour long workouts every single day and you are eating only whole foods and low carb and and you're, you're miserable. This, this advice, is not for you. I should probably preface this at the beginning of each extra um, each, each episode. But the, the girls inside of baddest revolution, like you all listening to this, I swear you guys are maybe the only ones who listen to this, but whoever else is out there, um, there's different phases to the journey, right? So if you come to me and you're like I'm really struggling with my relationship to my body, my relationship to food, my relationship to exercise, this is not advice that I will give you.

Speaker 1:

This is for the classic people who you just need to build some discipline in life. You just need to stick to your damn word and learn how to build, build grit and build self-trust, right? Because a lot of times, why we're so miserable, even if you come to me and you're struggling with your relationship to food, your relationship to body, your relationship to yourself, um, it all comes back to self-trust, right? The reason why you, why you feel so shitty, is because you've broken so many promises with yourself. But the reason in that case that you've broken so many promises with yourself is because you have too high of fucking standards, surprising. So, anyways, this is for the female who I call it goal smasher. Like you're ready to channel some fucking David Goggins in your life and you.

Speaker 1:

When we talk about discipline, I look at discipline like saying you're going to do something and doing it, no matter fucking what. And that is what I practiced. When it came to um, this scenario of high rocks training a day after gymnastics, me being sore, right, my little bitch voice was like oh well, you worked so hard at gymnastics yesterday and you're hurt and you should really lay low. But the fact of the matter is is I made a plan with my friend to show the fuck up, so I showed the fuck up and I I kind of in my own mind, um, had given myself just leeway to. Okay, we can take it easy, but we know that that never happens when you're there with a partner. It's like I'm gonna push you and myself as hard as we can possibly go, but, um, so I want you, yes, want you, yes, I want you to to start to be aware of this little bitch voice and the sneaky little ways that it tricks your brain into thinking, oh, I'm okay, I can.

Speaker 1:

I can not do the thing that I set out to do. Um, so that was so such a tangent. I'm so sorry, um, but that's kind of. That's kind of um, I guess that's kind of where I'm at in life. Um, I always talk about how health and fitness I got that on lock. I could teach you that so fucking fast. You come into my world. I can pinpoint exactly where you're at right when we talk about these different phases. You tell me your situation. I tell you exactly what you need to switch and swap and do to have you feeling 10 times better. But when it comes to business and running my business, I don't have that same, that same on lock feeling, and so this is this is something that I've been focusing on a ton recently is not just the straight up bitch voice of oh, I don't want to do this task, it's okay. Why did I feel the need to delete social media for the entire month of January? Was it effective as shit? Yes, but there was also some avoidance hidden in there. There was also some little sneaky bitch voice making it seem like, oh yeah, this is okay, this is the right thing to do, when in reality, maybe it's not so.

Speaker 1:

Always getting really self reflective, reflecting on your own, your own choices and and why you're doing what you're doing is so important, um, let's see. I'm trying to think if there's any other updates before we get into the actual episode gymnastics. I think that's it. So, moving forward, I've been thinking I am huge on effectiveness and making everything I do um, top tier and the most effective that it can be, not just for me but for you, like I care about you. This is why I'm doing this. I'm not here to fucking sit and listen to myself, I'm here to help you. And so that's kind of my game plan moving forward with everything that I do all the way, from every single program that I launch, every single client that I work with, I'm always, always, always learning, growing, reflecting, making the experience with everything that I do 10 times better, 10 times more effective.

Speaker 1:

And so, with these podcast episodes, what I've realized is we live in just an absolute information overload society, and I noticed that these podcast episodes a lot of times when I'm talking about some of these big, broad topics and giving so many points and so many details that I don't know, I don't know how truly effective they are. I don't know if you're listening to this. Let me know how you, how you, how you feel about, about this. But what I want to start doing is really simplifying these episodes and talking about really micro topics and leaving kind of one key takeaway, one key action step to go out and focus on in your life, because that's what I want for you. I don't just want you to sit and listen and consume the I I don't know my fucking voice blabbing in your ear. I want you to actually take the action and take the tools that I'm talking about and go and utilize them. And I think simplifying and just talking about less but more potently will be really helpful with that. So that's kind of the game plan moving forward.

Speaker 1:

I also want to state there are like three main pillars that I work with the women in my world I don't know what I just said the women in my world, the women that I attract. There are three main pillars of work that we really focus on. This is relationship to food I call it relationship to the cookie, relationship to body and then relationship to your own thoughts, beliefs, patterns, behaviors, and I think repetition is so, so, so key. So this is something that I really want to start repeating at the beginning of every episode. As to this is, this is who I'm here for, this is the work that I do and this is who I do it for, right?

Speaker 1:

So, if you are a woman who, your relationship to the cookie is struggling, it's like you can't eat the fucking thing without, without having a breakdown. If you constantly beat your body up in your own mind. If, again, like your relationship to your thoughts, your beliefs, your patterns, your behaviors, you continue to fall into these, these patterns of either starting stopping, of feeling like everything has to be perfect, feeling like you have to achieve in order to be successful, feeling like, holy shit, I, I mapped my whole life out, I got the degree, I got the job, I got the husband, I had the kid, and I'm still not happy, I'm still not fulfilled. That is exactly who I'm here for. And, again, like I want all of these podcast discussions to really revolve around these three main topics, um, and and.

Speaker 1:

So today're going to talk more about your relationship, and this is the one that I lean the most towards is your relationship to your own thoughts, beliefs, patterns, behaviors, because those relate directly to your relationship to your body and your relationship to the cookie. Right, it all starts in your mind, and so this is one that I really I find so much, so much value in if you listen closely and you actually implement what I'm saying. And so today, the main topic is what you associate with the actions that you take. If you have a positive association with actions, it's going to feel really easy to do. If you have a negative association with that action, it's going to feel really hard to do. And I'm going to use really basic examples here, but this, you can relate this to any area of your life. I'm going to say, eating the broccoli right, eating the broccoli. If you have a positive association in your brain with eating that broccoli, it's going to feel really fucking easy to do and implement into your life. If you have a negative association and what I mean by that is ew, that broccoli is fucking disgusting, it's terrible, I hate it it's going to feel really, really, really hard to do. And so this concept even of emotional eating right, we reach for the food when we're feeling emotional to cope Right now. If that is a pattern that you have noticed in your life. Most likely you keep going back to it because you have a positive association in your mind. Right, you say the fucking cookies. When I eat 12 of them, it reduces my stress, it reduces my anxiety, it makes my worries go away and or it stops boredom, whatever that is, whatever unmet need that you're trying to fill with the food. You have this positive correlation, this positive association.

Speaker 1:

And an example that I have from my own life was when I was a drinker. I was I binged drink, for I started drinking when I was 15 and I stopped when I was probably 20 ish, um, but I drank Thursday through Sunday, um, and I back then, I had such a positive association with drinking. I associated drinking with fun, with connection, with letting loose, with honestly being able to be myself. That was the only time that I felt like I could let the real me out. I remember, like my friends at the time, that was the only time that I felt okay, opening up and having deeper conversations, because my ego at the time it was trying to protect me. I was like I was a shell of a human. So on the outside I seemed really tough, but on the inside I was this mushy, gushy person just wanting to connect, and drinking was that avenue for me. It almost gave me like an out. It gave me a, an excuse to be able to be emotional. So I had such a positive correlation with it.

Speaker 1:

But by the time that I turned 20, and I had very tragic occurrences I'm sure if you've been listening to me you know what they are happen and I saw the really dark side of drinking and it very quickly turned into, it flipped into a negative, a negative association. I associated drinking with death. I associated drinking with not only physical death but like a spiritual death, a death of like walking around being a living person but dead inside. I associated it then with being unproductive. I really started to realize, wow, I'm not a productive human being when I'm drinking Thursday through Sunday. It caused more anxiety than fun. I would get in fights with Logan, with other people. It just turned into not fun. And so it was really easy for me over the years to stop drinking. It's really easy for me today to say fuck, no to a drink. I haven't had a drink since in a year, and before that it was probably another year, and that's because I have this negative correlation with it. And so you're right.

Speaker 1:

We have these ideas which turn into beliefs, which then turn into conviction. And so Tony Robbins, my G I was listening to him and he talks about it as the top of the table is the idea and the legs of the table these are points that support it's like evidence that supports this idea. And so what happens when we want to shift from right? I'm going to use the example of drinking. Drinking, it was a positive thing and I want to right. Maybe you actively are like I want to turn this into a negative association because I want to be done drinking. So the tabletop is this idea of drinking is a bad thing. Then we need to go out and find points to support that and turn that idea into a belief. So you have to go actively looking right, which I did. I, um, I looked at the different occurrences and situations that were happening in my life because of alcohol. I really focused on the hangovers and those were points of the fights with Logan and like really dissecting, like why did that even, what the fuck was happening? I wouldn't normally thought about that or reacted that way, but it's like the alcohol turned me into a different person. So those are, then, points to support and to jump from a belief to full on conviction of like, like.

Speaker 1:

Nowadays, I look at drinking or even smoking or any drugs, and I'm like it is. It is. I'm so convicted in the idea that it is such a crutch. It is the biggest crutch out there. The reason why people drink and smoke is they're un-fucking-happy. Their, their egos are not allowing them to truly be themselves. They, they need the coping mechanism, either in social settings to be able to let loose and be social, or in I mean, what other times do you drink? Even even right the beer on a Friday night to de-stress? It's a fucking coping mechanism and you can't change my mind. There's nothing healthy about it. There is nothing healthy about it.

Speaker 1:

I'm so incredibly convicted in it because I had an extremely triggering event. Whatever I had an ex-boyfriend, this was a boy that I drank with heavily for two years straight. We were on and off, we were in kind of a toxic, toxic, toxic situation ship relationship and he ended up trigger warning committing suicide. So that was an extremely triggering event for me and that that is what really catavolted me into this, full on conviction of holy shit, this is not a healthy thing for me to be doing or for anybody to be doing, and putting in their bodies and and uh, crutching themselves upon. And so this triggering event, it really pushes you over the edge. And this, either it either can happen naturally or you can manufacture that triggering event.

Speaker 1:

So another one, um, very recent, not recently recent, not recently, but uh, when I was in seventh grade, my mom got diagnosed with diabetes. So she, um, she had gestational diabetes and in the hospital after my little brother was born, um, she got fucking wheeled to the ICU because she had over a thousand blood sugar. That was extremely triggering in my mind as to, holy shit, your health is so important. I never want to deal with diabetes, with putting myself through that, or anybody else in my life having to watch me struggle with that. So, every single day since it has been my mission to be the healthiest fucking person that I can possibly be, both internally and externally, um, and so that's one that happened naturally, like I didn't manufacture that.

Speaker 1:

But one very recently um, because I I had found myself like after, after competing two years ago, two and a half years ago now I call it the pendulum swing Like I was so incredibly strict and then I completely let loose and in between there I kind of got. I stopped focusing necessarily on ingredients of things, and so it's been. There's just this natural evolution, like when you get into health and fitness, right, you eat the fucking protein powders and protein bars, and then you, just you evolve, you learn more and you start to realize, okay, the ingredients of the food that we're actually eating and the nutrients of the food actually matters. And something, recently, that is extremely manufactured, because when we first moved here, I think I was talking about it, um, when we, when we moved to Colorado, um, we're so much closer to all of the fast food and the junk and the cookies and the fucking in and out, and, um, very recently I caught myself I'm like, oh, I don't feel good when I eat like this. And I really want to create, I want to start to create this negative association in my brain, because I noticed I was creating a positive association. I noticed that I was starting to lean into oh yeah, on a random Wednesday night when I'm out of groceries, let's just go get in and out. And I didn't, I didn't want that for my life. So I started to really manufacture this.

Speaker 1:

I call it a triggering event. Like Logan, um, his uh family members his mom got diagnosed with cancer, his grandma got diagnosed with cancer, his um, um, um, um, um, like grandparents, died of strokes and and his dad had a stroke and uh, I, uh, again, I, that's not manufactured, that happens naturally. But my perception of these events can be manufactured. And you know what I did. I linked, I looked at, okay, what are some of the habits that these people not even just them, but I hear about it every day. My grandparents are sending me shit every day of people getting cancer and dying and, oh my gosh. And like 23 year olds getting freaking die. It's so bad. It's so bad. Our food system is so bad, um, so people getting diagnosed, diagnosed with cancer, young people dying, getting diagnosed with diabetes I'm currently working with a type one diabetic who's who just got diagnosed and he I think he's like 23, 24. So I I pay really really close attention to these things and I find proof right. I'm, I'm looking for points of support and almost creating. Recently, I would say, I've created a triggering event in my mind. It's not even points of support and almost creating. Recently I would say, I've created a triggering event. In my mind, it's not even points of support anymore. It's like holy shit.

Speaker 1:

I link all of these diseases back to diet and to what these people are eating and and buying and consuming, and even the quality of food. Where are they shopping? How much are they paying for their groceries? Um, how much are they moving their bodies? Are they drinking pop and eating pop tarts? Right, and I can tell you the in and out that I was consuming and the chick-fil-a multiple times a week. Um, that's not helping anything. And so, honestly, I don't even remember the last time that we went to Chick-fil-a, in and out Got cookies. What I've been doing is making it. I'll make cookies. We go out, we go out to eat every Friday, but we've been going to a really bougie Mexican restaurant and I get freaking a plate of vegetables and chicken and tortilla, like they home make their tortillas, and that's that's what I've been indulging in, because I really I think it's so incredibly important to be fueling your body with nutrient-dense foods.

Speaker 1:

So this triggering event whether it's you wanting to stop reaching for the cookies, right, right now, you have a positive association and you need to create, you need to manufacture a triggering event where it's like, holy shit, I'm never doing this again. And sometimes I even tell clients I'm like you might need to go balls to the walls with the cookies a few times. You might need to have that, that point where you eat the entire fucking box and look at yourself and be like, wow, I'm so, maybe you're fucking throwing up because you ate so many, your stomach hurts so bad that, um, that is that you never, ever, ever, want to feel like that again. Um, so that triggering event it's so, so important. Sometimes you have to force yourself to get so miserable and focus, like when an opportunity to create a triggering event comes up, focus on it and really ingrain that shit into your brain and connect emotion to it. Um, and so what you can start to think, too, is I really have been trying to dissect the.

Speaker 1:

I look around the gym and I'm like, okay, I want to almost like start interviewing people who are really jacked and be like how do you think? And then people who maybe aren't, who I maybe see, show up and create a relationship with and just I, I'm so curious, I'm so curious, and so the reason why I I believe it's so easy for me, one of the reasons to stay so healthy is because I have really, really, really empowering beliefs around the process. Right, I see muscle as one of the most important aspects of life. Building muscle, having muscle, I mean, it's the best thing that you can do for yourself. Longevity speaking, I look at jacked as being one of the most fun things in my life. It's one of the highlights of my day going into the gym, seeing myself jacked, life it's. It's one of the highlights of my day going into the gym, seeing myself jacked.

Speaker 1:

I see food prep as something that's fun, that's necessary. It's an empowering belief. It's not. I don't correlate anything negative with food prep. Um, I look at it like life is so much better when you're in the best shape and the best health that you can be in. Life gets significantly better when you, when you right. I look at like the discomfort because it's not. It's not a comfortable process at all, but I look at the discomfort that you have to go through um to it's worth it. It's worth it because it's one of the best things that you can do.

Speaker 1:

Right, versus, I want you to ask yourself what are some of maybe the the disempowering beliefs that you have and here I don't have a ton. I really don't have a ton for health or fitness. Um, I honestly, I maybe like when I was running, after, after running, I'm like, oh my God, running sucks so bad. Um, so, that might be a disempowering belief, but during my high rocks training, I'm like, wait, why is running, why am I enjoying this so much? I don't get it.

Speaker 1:

But I will say, when it comes to business, right, I do have some disempowering beliefs. Like social media sucking. I'm like, oh my God, I could be the type of person who could just not live on social, who I could delete social media for the rest of my life and be perfectly fine. That's not serving me. That's not serving me in my purpose of helping as many people that I possibly can. Um, I think, right, a more empowering belief to have would be social media is such an amazing thing, it is such an amazing tool. I get to use social media, I get to freaking, post videos and attract badass women into my life. Right, far more empowering belief.

Speaker 1:

So I want you to ask yourself, like, these areas of life that you want to shape up, maybe around nutrition or exercise, or even beliefs around yourself, what are some of the disempowering beliefs that you think when you look in the mirror, is it serving you? Is it really serving you to look in the mirror and be like you fat pig, you, fat pig. That's not serving you. Switch it into a more empowering belief. Right, because you can focus on the negatives of the situation or the positives of the situation. Just like the broccoli, you can focus on how it doesn't taste good, as good as the cookie.

Speaker 1:

Or you can focus on when I eat healthy food. I literally sit there and I'm like this is giving my body so many nutrients. I'm gonna feel so freaking good after eating it. I got sweet green like that was the first time that I went out not on a Friday in a long time and we got sweet green. I got like a steak bowl and as I'm eating it, I'm like, oh my god, I know this is gonna make me feel so good later and tomorrow I'm not gonna feel nasty. Um, that's what you. You focus on.

Speaker 1:

Um, and make the, the association so freaking painful. I think so many people you're. We're straddling the line of like should I? Should I heal my relationship to food or should I just continue restricting? I don know. I don't know which one I should do and whichever route that you want to take, right. If you want to stop restricting your food, you have to make the association with restricting your food so fucking painful, like you have to think about all the ways that restricting your food is taking away from your life and make it an extremely painful situation that you never, ever, ever, ever want to endure again.

Speaker 1:

Did we get all of this? I can do a little recap Right. So the association that we have with actions we can have a positive association, and that makes it easier for us to do, or we can have a negative association that makes it hard for us to do, or we can have a negative association that make it makes it hard for us to do. Um, your ideas, right, are like the tabletop. Your beliefs are the, the points of support, like the table legs. And then that triggering event is what really turns the whole thing. It's like turning the wood table into a steel table. It it really creates that full on conviction that you feel down to your bones. And in order to get that conviction, we need a triggering event that really, really, really pushes us over the edge. And this can happen naturally, or it can be manufactured right, just like my mom getting diagnosed with diabetes. That's natural.

Speaker 1:

But me paying close attention nowadays to all of the people who are getting diagnosed with all of these illnesses and diseases, I can manufacture a triggering event in my own brain. Ask yourself what are some of? I want you to like freaking, pause this and ask yourself what are some of the empowering beliefs that you have and the disempowering beliefs that you have around the process that you're going through, right, whether it's healing your relationship to food, healing your relationship to your body, focusing on trying to figure out who the fuck you are as a person, right, if you have a belief of like I'm never going to know who I am because I'm just such a people pleaser and I always people please and I'm just never going to know because I'm always adopting other people, that's not. That's not empowering. It's not empowering. Switch it.

Speaker 1:

And the last thing is you have to get so, so decided. We can't straddle the line of like am I gonna do this, am I not? Um, you have to manufacture an event, an association that feels so painful, um, just like, should I quit smoking, should I not? If you want to quit smoking, right, go, or go and look up videos of people who have smoked for years. If you are currently a meat eater and you're wanting to go vegan, you go for and watch animals get slaughtered. Right, that's going to be a triggering event that you can manufacture, and you'll probably never want to eat meat again. That's why I have not done that.

Speaker 1:

So, main takeaway main main takeaway, though, is association. What do you associate with the actions, especially the actions that feel really hard for you to do? Maybe it's getting to the gym. Maybe it's eating the food. Maybe it's saying no to the cookie. Maybe it's saying yes to the cookie. Maybe it's a work task. Maybe it's talking nicely to yourself. Right? If, if, if, anytime, that you say something nice to yourself, you instantly rebuttal it with something bitchy, that's gonna be a negative association. It's gonna be hard to do. So create that positive association, and I guarantee you it'll get. The process will get so, so much easier.

Speaker 1:

So I'm gonna stop rambling now. Um, I love you for being here. If you could leave me a review at the bottom of the podcast, that would mean the world to me. Um, it helps the the show go out to more eyeballs so I can, at the same time, help more of you baddies. Um, if you resonate with this or you have a friend who would resonate with it, please share it. I fucking love you for being here. Um, that's a wrap on this episode and we will talk next week.