Transforming Your Response: The Role of Memory in Daily Adaptation

Ep 84. How Memory Shapes Our Adaptability to Life’s Challenges

Memory plays a crucial role in how we adapt to our environment. The malleable nature of memory significantly influences our beliefs about the world around us, as well as our reactions and adaptations to daily situations. When our memories and experiences are predominantly negative, we are more likely to respond maladaptively to the people and events in our lives.

Recognizing symptoms of stress is vital. By employing self-regulation techniques and sensory grounding methods, we can prevent our memories and emotional reactivity from hijacking our lives. This proactive approach keeps our minds clear and our choices within our control, allowing us to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

Understanding the connection between memory and adaptability can empower individuals to reshape their perspectives, improve emotional resilience, and foster healthier relationships. Discover how to reclaim your mind and navigate life’s challenges with confidence! Walk well. 

Transcript

Welcome back folks to episode 84 of the Running Man Self-Regulation Skills and Self-Improvement Project Podcast with me, your host, Dr. Armando Dominguez, PhD in Health Psychology, licensed professional counselor and an adjunct professor to local community college. What we're going to be discussing today has to do with

mental time loops. And we're going to subtitle this topic today, days of future past. And yes, I am making a play on that movie, which was great, but the idea of not so much time travel, but the fact that many of our beliefs that we develop often are malleated.

and shaped by the memory, which is quite malleable by the way. So we have to ask, is it mind? Is it memory? Is it malleable? And I will have to say that yes, memory is malleable. So from this point, what we're going to be discussing is those things, or rather those things that are the influences on not only how we remember things, but also why it is we remember them the way we do in our vulnerability when we're in recall to misinformation and those things that would distort

an accurate memory in quotes. So memory, if it's a recollection of what's happening in our world, why is it that whenever we have eyewitnesses or multiple people experiencing an event and asked to recollect what went on as far as the event goes, that we have different views?

Well, very practically, if each one of us is occupying geographic, a different space in a room where maybe we're seeing a show or watching TV or someone drops a glass or get scared, where we have a very idiosyncratic thing going on, something that's absolutely unique to that situation. Then we're going to have, if we have four people, we're going to have four different views, perspectives, because we're not all sitting in the same seat that we occupy. So of course we're going to have a different view as far as what we may

armando (02:26.864)
remember visually but also maybe timing and how they experience the world from the perspective of perception how we take in information and their internal representation system that may be more so kinesthetic touch feel how did I feel about that versus visual what did that look like versus what it sounded like the great crash whenever the glass of of tea fell to the floor and shattered that sort of thing among other things but whenever we

take into consideration such differences, we'll note that if we do recall, there are going to be some similarities in story based on the fact that we share a lexical commonality if we're all speaking the same language, or at least do speak the same language, for instance, in the immediate sense. But also, even if we're cross-culturally experiencing it, we may also have a flavor or filtration through said cultural lens. So, some things to think about once again.

So why is this important as far as memory goes? Well, whenever we realize that our memory is malleable, that means that every time we pull up a memory, it's not always going to be the same exact, what we'll call fidelity.

that would have on the first memory, for instance, if we have an accurate memory recollection. So every time we come up with a memory and start thinking about it could be a week later, days later, months later, for that matter. We're going to have a copy of the original copy over time. For those of us that are familiar with copying and copiers are still in use. But whenever you use an original copy, that's really well done. So just something you printed off from PDF is very tight, very nice, very detailed and very little mess.

But if you start making copies of that copy over time, sure enough, over time, the copies get grainy or little darker. And then even some of the letters become obfuscated over time, but the quality goes down. And this is a, an actual and rather accurate representation of how we remember. Now we, we may remember details very well, specifically that are within the memory of that event. And some are the ones that we may key in on based on our own,

armando (04:45.168)
perceptual preferences and also those things that may have stood out to us for some reason we may have hyper focused on or focused on or everything else may have just been a general blur. Whatever the way it comes back is not nearly going to be the same. So usually whenever we remember the fidelity of that memory goes down and often when we think about things along the lines of stress, trauma, traumatic recollection, even post-traumatic stress disorder for that matter, we remember things that we focused on

that at that moment in time, we shed everything else and really focused on that because it may have been a detail that made the difference between life or death or more pain, this sort of thing. And our brains are efficient. They don't want to waste unnecessary energy. And over time, the more you remember things, the more quickly they came up, but also the less of the details that are extraneous.

tend not to be there. So we start losing some of that idiosyncratic quality or that very uniqueness of an event over time. And then we have a very distorted memory. And this becomes almost like an internal game of telephone of sorts. Wherever one person says something whispers into the ear of another and so on so forth and down by the end of the line, it has become so distorted it does not even closely resemble what the original message was. And our memory can kind of be like that. So that is more

Bible orientation that we have, but it's not because we choose it, but we're wired for that. Whenever we are remembering things, often our brain does not necessarily keep all details, but those details that it deems most important.

at whatever point in time we're coding that information from memory from work and memory to to short-term memory than long-term. So this is an important detail once again. So what does this have to do with days of future past? Well,

armando (06:41.175)
If we think about the concept of time and time represented as a memory, for instance, within our minds, we realize that we have aspects of memory that are immediate within working sense that may or may not get into the short term that we may not remember later. But somebody asks us about an event because if it happens really fast or there was tension, the details that would seem to be important to someone else as an observer outside of it all watching, but not really involved or experiencing the stress.

They're going to remember more details or other details that maybe you if you were closer proximally You're a lot closer to the event or the stress itself or it was personal only gonna remember certain things and your view is gonna be much more narrow especially if there was an act or or an individual or a thing like I just ran upon a skunk and you remember that part and all the details in your peripheral area tend to fall away Other than the fact that you're trying to get away even though it's not doing anything But just walking around being kind of cute which by the way

I a skunk earlier this week. That's why it popped up into my memory right now. But as an example, you know, if we're trying to get away knowing skunk's not good, or if we smell the skunk, for instance, at a distance and then see it, and then we know to make egress and a direction away from that smelly little thing, that really means it's no harm. And they really try to mind their business. along the lines of memory, how am I going to remember that based on my shock or surprise or where I feel like I walked upon it is right at my feet? I'm probably going to remember the details differently.

than somebody watching me walking around and then they noticed that maybe I wasn't paying particular attention because I was looking at the flowers in the garden center at Walmart or something then all of a sudden, oh a skunk and then seeing the shock. So we see it more from a third person perspective. It's going to be way different of course but just some things to think about as to how our memory would would come up if

we the two people the third person observer and also the first person me myself that experienced the skunk might view the same event but not the same memory so to speak to be accurately clear about the detail as far as the words that i'm using right now so

armando (08:50.565)
the way we look at the event, the way we experience the event, where we're at proximal to zero point, wherever the event occurs. And also the recollection of the event, depending on our perspective, how far away, how close I was, is going to make a difference in the sense of how I recall memory once again. This is a really important detail, by the way, for self-regulation skill development of all sorts, in the sense that if you're learning how to manage stress, anxiety, or your heart rate, for instance,

actually knowing that we have to train our body to get our mind in order that we have to take into consideration that a memory is not

always going to be accurate, but yet our reactivity, what our body is doing is what we have to address in the immediate sense that if I have a really high heart rate, start feeling panic and anxiety type feelings or fear, or that sense that I'd have to run or get out of there. Those are the things that I have to manage at that moment. Sometimes if we have a pattern of reaction that is unhealthy or is overwhelming or really uncomfortable, we may know that whatever experience I've had before may have conditioned that

and that we can recondition and learn how to manage the stress of that, we can actually start feeling better, especially if it's caused disruption or what we'll call neurological dysregulation is what the

Common psychological term is for it now since we have neuroimaging, neurological dysregulation. Dysregulation to what? In the sense that it's acting in a way that would not allow you to be a better survivor in quotes, in a situation or that feeling of survival. And this is what we're going to move into the belief and the time quality of what it is we're talking about in the subtitled.

armando (10:37.231)
days of future past. So if in the future, for instance, we're experiencing what we're doing today, we have a recollection that puts me in anxiety panic mode, is it going to be?

as a result of the past experience? Well, of course, because if we look backwards and think about those things that may have caused us fear, joy, anything along those lines, pain, fright, those are the things that we're going to remember and those responses are going to be the things that we'll remember most whenever we're experiencing them because they are reconditioned as to remember that this is important. It may not feel good and yes, survival is the bottom line, but that's not a payoff. doesn't feel

like a payoff when we experience it feels very uncomfortable, very painful, very anxious, frightening, if anything, even though we may just be remembering. We have to realize that our suggestibility to ourself within ourself is very high and our environment has a suggestive quality as well. In that, if we're in a situation that may be stressful, or things are really noisy, or there's just too much information, or we may feel overstimulated with sounds, sight, or people moving too quickly,

we may not feel like we're able to accommodate what's going on and then we can start feeling in many cases anxious, worried, or maybe even avoidance of situations or people for that matter. Things are abrupt and loud. People jumping out and having a party and you know little kids party gets noisy, the sort of thing.

If the noise level goes up suddenly, that could be enough or even having somebody sit down right next to you without any kind of prompting or asking if they can sit next to you for instance. And that could.

armando (12:23.217)
be enough to take into a space of discomfort, especially if space is a problem. If you'd been traumatized before, don't trust people, especially if they get into your space too quickly. It can take you into a place of discomfort, mentally, emotionally, and physically, uh, in a very short period of time. Now, the reason I mentioned this is that according to a poly bagel theory, we have two primary, there are more two primary ways of responding. And, uh, generally speaking, if we're in an uncomfortable state, like I just mentioned in the little

scenario a moment ago, then the dorsal vagal state would be where we tend to be more shelled up and a little distant dissociated. That could be very much a fear response, but there's no run and it's very closely associated with also fear freeze. There's also the ventral state, which is more towards the front, the ventral being the center to the front part of your body.

And that tends to be much more open and we're in a more ventral state by comparison. We're more apt to be upright in posture and seem to be a little more open. And that would indicate by our body language and also by our facial body language as well, our expressions that we are accommodating our environment. We're actually adapting to it healthily and we're not shelling and we're able to feel like we can move around in it and don't feel like we're under threat or potentially dealing with a threat. Whereas

the dorsal vagal tends to be recognition of threat and trying to make ourselves smaller or even camouflage ourselves in a way trying to hide from it even if somebody's just sitting next to us really meaning no harm but not aware of what your reactivity level might be so some really important details to pay attention to as far as the external behavioral if we're watching this and also if we experience it ourselves so once again awareness of the symptomology of that stress very important and there are several ways that

when we adapt to immediate stress that kind of maligate how we think in the filter of which we look at. And if we are in a state of, let's say, dorsal vagal reactivity, we tend to be in our mind thinking about how to avoid what to do, what I could have done, should have done, this sort of thing. We may even guilt and shame ourselves as far as internal dialogue in the process and getting

armando (14:44.993)
upset with ourselves because we're not responding well. Why can't I run? Why can't I fight? Why can't I stand up for myself versus looking over and accommodating somebody's entry into our immediate space and maybe even talking to them and saying something that would seem to be a little more adaptive, so to speak.

And we have to realize that, you know, there is definitely a psychological state that goes along with the physical response. It's not devoid of the thinking process, but usually we're not.

hearing or reading too much about, well, what is actually going on with me as I'm experiencing these states. And I'm just trying to give you an example as to some of the thinking processes that go with that. But if we're in that more shelled up state, also, if we're there most of the time, and let's say we disengage from that event, but we deal with a world now,

in a sense that shoot first, ask questions later, that means we're at a higher level of sympathetic response, but also that means fight flight. And if that is the case, sympathetic arousal doesn't necessarily always mean negative or dangerous, but in the sense of if I've had that kind of experience that makes me uncomfortable and afraid, then I tend to have trouble creating relationships and bonding. And I tend to be anxious and stressful if

people present themselves in a way where I have to interact with them or relate with them in quotes, even though it's not a long-term relationship, this sort of thing. The idea is that every interaction, every transaction is a relationship of sorts involving rapport, communication, disengagement, and then dealing with the aftermath, which is the memory and, and thinking about how those things went and weighing those as to the value of that sort of thing and adding that to my catalog of life experiences over time, so to speak. So

armando (16:35.023)
Why is this important to self regulatory skill is the question and I asked this rhetorically because this podcast is about self regulatory skill and thinking about well How can I become self aware of not only my own symptoms of stress? But also how I think about stuff because each state of stress that we have whether it be good stress you stress happy jumping in the bouncy house or Distress, I'm afraid I feel like I'm gonna die or I'm having this heart feeling like it's gonna jump out of my chest even though I'm not under threat but

body is reacting due to post-traumatic stress reactivity, they each have a psychological state that goes with that. Now the higher stress that we have over time, if we have to be very efficient, once again, our body's natural tendency is to be efficient and save energy for whenever you really need it. And effective means

binary one or two black white up down in the sense that either it worked or it didn't but the more effective you are

the less energy you expend, which is efficiency, that's our natural tendency, but also we may actually lose some details in the process over time, especially if it involves reactivity to an environment. But once again, there's a psychological state that goes along with the physiological state as well. So if we are more sympathetically aroused most of the time and deal with things in a way that is not necessarily negative, but not necessarily the most positive or inviting and accepting them in a positive bonding sense where we make relationship versus

with things as transactions that are neutral in a sense, not perfectly of course, that we're not getting a whole lot of emotional anything out of it because we're not letting our guard down, we're not engaging close enough, we're just observing people and things as objects, as numbers, as events, but keeping ourselves from getting too involved. And if we have that sort of idea going on, or that's a filter of sorts, and that's our internal representational, internal

armando (18:39.227)
a world model, so to speak, then we tend to filter things through that, then we have a quality of categorization. That means that we're efficiently putting people in blocks, spaces, and categories such that I can, just by looking at, okay, you go here, you go there, and you belong there, and you stay away because you need to belong in that box way over there. We tend to make sense of our world fast, even though we may not be giving each individual, or event for that matter, its fullest.

due diligence, so to speak, we're quickly getting rid of the things so don't have to expend unnecessary energy and minimize the amount of stress or anxiety in my experience in my life or my world, so to speak. So what does this have to do with time and memory? Well, a whole heck of a lot, because how it is that I'm experiencing my world is based on my future past. That means my past in a sense.

retrofitted to my future.

in the sense that it's my filter and category, making sense of self or mind or internal working world model, that I no longer see things the way they are, rather the way I expect them to be or the way I've judged them to make my world easier because I'm so uncomfortable. discomfort is a big thing that tells us there's something going on that's wrong because we should be in a sense of ease generally. And at our most homeostatic and

and euphoric state in the sense that we're not like blissful kissing God, but in the sense that we're enjoying what's called euthymic or positive states of feeling and emotion, then we tend to be efficient in the sense that we're not burning unnecessary energy in the direction of survival, but rather in the direction of just merely being in a state of comfort. And that's okay, that's allowed. But often because our levels of stress and our environments are interpreted as

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dangerous, we tend to put more energy into the negative and the dangerous protection against those things and preventing those things and maybe threat rehearsal, a term that I mentioned in the last podcast, where we go through thought processes and it is kind of like daydreaming.

but fantasizing, it's more of a negative fantasy. And we would call that once again, threat rehearsal, or practicing going through stuff. So we don't make mistakes when it counts most, where it could damage me most. And these are states that we can also fall into. And I've trained martial arts for many years and getting people to enjoy drills that are sometimes grueling, but we're working at things that are life protection, but also involve threat rehearsal in a sense that we're going

through the moves that could possibly save our life and I will attest to the fact that my drilling methods are very effective and they saved my life and the lives of numbers of my students against a knife gun and empty hand and other weapons as well and that is not bragging but rather just the recognition of the fact that these are life-giving skills but it's hard to maintain a mindset that is one that is not the death dealer or destructive or one that wants to be the punisher but rather be in a state of

I don't want to say Zen, but a Zen like state in that you're not judgmental, but you're just dealing with the immediate sense of threat or what the situation is and

whether it be subduing or fighting or running, whatever the deal is, not getting involved in judging them and teaching them a lesson, but rather just surviving. And surviving is the payoff. Yes, but it's not always the feel good, I win. it's this, you know, general sense of good feeling throughout the body. Sometimes survival feels ugly because you just made it and you're breathing hard, kind of like when you come up from diving too deep and you suck that wind, that's the sweetest air that you've ever had. But yet you also

armando (22:39.963)
the fact that well, I could have died and that can be a very uncomfortable state and that'll remind us to be more careful next time I go so deep or maybe take a buddy, but those kind of things shape how it is that we experience a world after the fact and once again the days of future past or future is impacted before our past experiences have been, but how can we keep from that?

shaping it into our future experiences into something particularly negative. One is being mindful, two is recognizing that our body experiences stress and it doesn't have to be having stress now but as a recollection. And here's some points or some things to pay attention to that can help regulate the stress, the self-regulation skills once again. And what we can do often the term grounding, putting your feet on fresh grass if you can, or some loamy earth where it's nice and cool.

doesn't matter what season, but anything that will get your feet and your hands involved where there's a temperature regulation difference and you can hold an ice cube, you can put your hands on a cold pole outside if you're in a basketball court or maybe even touching something warm, not hot to burn yourself, not anything like that, but just feeling the differences in temperature and getting yourself physically moving, where you're moving your eyes left and right, looking in your horizon, looking your immediate environment.

as well, not hard focusing, but rather looking at different areas and allowing your eyes to take in as much information as possible versus being hyper-fixed, because the hyper-fixation is part of our sympathetic nervous response. Whenever we will hyper-focus and get into foveal vision, but also we tend to encourage tunnel vision when we get into really extreme states, so we tend to hyper-focus versus allowing our eyes to turn left and right. And if we can't turn our eyes, turn your head as much as you can.

left and right and it's not being paranoid but rather looking to see past your corners, your edges behind your shoulder and it gives you a sense of expansiveness and environment and these things help regulate not only heart rate but that sense of threat and realizing that you can find points of egress where I can leap from and these are important things to have.

armando (24:57.153)
Now this was a rambling podcast today with a lot of information and ending up on the self regulatory skills, but having to do not only with memory, but also how our reactivity impacts us and how we interact with our world sometimes and the filters that we use when we're interacting with said world. So whatever you do, I hope you have a good rest of your day. This is Saturday evening for me, been a busy week and I certainly am happy to be talking to today and I'll meet you in the next pod.

But for now, if you know anybody that could benefit from this podcast, please share it with them. Give it to them. Even if they don't want it, it's really okay. You have my permission, but if you have any feedback or would like to get in contact with me, please send any contact to the email at running man, get skills project at Gmail. I would love to hear from you. have a good evening. Take care. Walk well.

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