Mastering Self-Regulation: How Breathing and Posture Shape Your Stress Response

Ep 87. How Our Reactions to Stress and Environment are Shaped by Self-Regulation: Mastering Emotional Control, Breathing, and Posture

Our responses to external situations, environments, and relationships are deeply influenced by our physical state, mental perceptions, and emotional regulation. Effective self-regulation occurs at the intersection of thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and even physical posture. By learning how to breathe effectively and manage stress, we can improve how we respond to environmental challenges and emotional stressors.

Self-regulation skills, including mindfulness, emotional control, and physical awareness, are vital for stress management, but they are also perishable skills. Over time, through consistent practice and effort, these skills become second nature, allowing us to respond with greater wisdom and resilience to life's challenges. Along the way, we gain emotional intelligence, humility, and a deeper understanding of ourselves. The process of self-regulation teaches us that growth takes effort, and the ability to stay calm under pressure must be earned.

Developing these skills is a journey, but it's one that pays off in better relationships, improved stress resilience, and a more balanced life. Remember, self-regulation isn't just about reacting to stress—it's about proactively shaping how we interact with the world around us.

Take care of your mind, body, and emotions. Breathe easy and walk well. 

Transcript

Welcome back folks to episode eighty seven of the Running Man Self Regulation Skills Project Podcast with me your host Dr. Armando Dominguez.

PhD in health psychology, licensed professional counselor and an adjunct professor at a local community college. And what we're going to discuss today may seem like a bit of rambling, but what I'm going to do is be sharing some principles of self-regulatory skill and the levels of self-regulation that occur. And it's not always a mental emotional thing. Self-regulation skills often when we talk about this generally in the clinical sense, and also when we're talking about interactions with a

people in communications, we tend to pay attention to what it is, one, what we think, also our emotions, and what it is that we're saying to people, maybe saying things that are appropriate to the context of the situation, and avoiding those things that would be considered, in quotes, inappropriate. And there are such things, but what I'd like to point out is that whenever we're thinking about self-regulation,

often it has to do with a measure of stress that we may be involved in or measure of stress that we may be moving into. We're going into a competition of some sort, or maybe a business meeting that I've been anticipating that may be difficult for instance, but also, it could just be a matter of how I am right now as a result of my environment, maybe being one boring to stressful, something changing really quickly.

Or maybe my environment feeling really uncomfortable simply because maybe I'm unfamiliar. So there's a lot of potential for where self-regulation may actually be applied. But what I'd like to talk about are the levels of self-regulatory skill. And I'm going to give some examples from this past weekend. I was at a martial arts seminar as a three day seminar and it's this one world renowned martial artist and really

armando (02:26.521)
thoroughly enjoyed the training, very useful self-protection art methodology, but three days of five hours training each day. And there are some self-regulatory skills I most definitely did use because we were very training weary at the end of the days that we trained. But on top of that, there were some things that we were guided to attend to that were very helpful and else gaining new skills, but also understanding more deeply those things that we came.

to the seminar with that had to do with not only how I move structurally, but also how I oriented myself relative to how I saw the situations we were training for versus how we were being shown to look at things that gave us a difference in perspective that were very helpful. So starting with that, we'll start off with the levels of self regulatory skill that we may have access this weekend, but also things that I'd to pay attention to that.

are used generally when we discuss in quotes, self regulatory skills. So one of the first things to attend to whenever we're discussing self regulation is, well, what am I regulating first in myself? So we're thinking about, let's say our thought process. That's the thing that happens probably the most quick, during a stress situation that may or may not be conducive to better communication, or maybe even the breakdown of communication, or maybe causing.

stress or problems with the other persons we're trying to interact with by virtue of whatever it is our perspective may be or what we may feel or perceive to be that may be if we're under stress and our heart rate is up more of an assumption versus a fact-based idea that we're working with. So these things are things that can complicate situations very quickly, but they're still within us, but more so a result of our stress, our perception of stress in the environment.

and are thinking reflecting whatever state we may be in as a result, whether it be anxious, stressed, scared, angry, this sort of thing, or even happy for that matter. They can determine much of what influences our resultant feeling or state of being, but also our thoughts that come as a result of that state. So first off are thoughts. So how do I regulate what I think some people, when they discuss self-regulatory skill,

armando (04:50.17)
that it's thought stopping and that's not necessarily the case. Not in all cases anyway and that is a measure of self-regulatory skill of course. Sometimes you have to stop the thinking or stop the thought process if it's particularly negative or uncomfortable or sometimes shifting gears in a sense wherever we may change what we're thinking about or maybe even what we're attending to. And one of the things that we can do to change how we think or even what we're thinking as a result of our environment for instance

is changing the environment. That's not direct control of the thought, but rather direct control of the environment that may be seeding those thoughts or qualities of thoughts that may be problematic or things that could take us into a direction maybe that we didn't want to go. So step one is environmental. Identifying perceptually, do I feel threatened? Do I feel stressed? Do I feel anxious? Do I feel nervous? Self-conscious? These sorts of things. Those are

adjudications or judgments of myself. And I'm paying attention to the symptomology of my reactivity to what's going on inside of me as much as what's going on outside. So that's one level of self regulatory skill. The next level of self regulatory skill. And this isn't in any order of priority per se, but more so just to give us a sense of differential so we can see types of skills that we're talking about is

the mental emotional, not just the thought process, but the mental emotional. What state am I in and how can I manage that? Am I engaged in a judgment or opinion of something that will affect not only what I'm thinking, but also the belief that stems from that, that in effect causes me to have those emotions. In cognitive behavioral therapy, for instance, we think about reframing how we think about stuff.

And that's kind of looking at it from a different perspective. And the term reframe is really kind of an, an odd duck for me as a person. And yeah, it makes sense. And it's not that complicated an idea, but how can I look at things in a different way? How can I change my lens or how I'm viewing something? And, some of the things that, I've talked about before on this podcast are changing perspective and the three perspectives, generally speaking.

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are looking at things from the first person perspective. And I usually call this the Mario Kart experience, wherever it's like you're playing Mario Kart and you're driving, you see your own little gloved hands, but you can't see your own face. So basically it's the first person experience. And whenever we have that view, that means I'm looking at it as I'm experiencing it and things that are happening or being directly experienced by me. therefore it's my view or the first person view.

you should be able to see your own hands like they tell you you can do a lucid dreaming and That will tell you that hey, this is me and I'm awake and I'm conscious and it's kind of like that in our life The second person perspective is awesome to really consider because they call that walking a mile in someone else's shoes and the joke once again is that Once you've walked a mile in their shoes, you realize you've got their shoes

And they're a mile away. So they're barefoot now, but it's also known as a compassionate perspective, looking at things from if I were in their shoes. And I think that is probably a better description of it. If I were in your shoes and to really embrace it, it's not merely just a concept, an idea exercise. is actually trying to have what the French call Kuvada or the pain of the mother that is experienced sometimes whenever you have compassion.

with someone you're in relationship with not unlike the pains that a dad has whenever mom is pregnant and It's not so different but understanding and trying to have a sense of if I were in those shoes how would I feel and That is part of self-regulation skills sometimes thinking about is that gonna hurt someone if I say this Can give you an opportunity to change that reframe it and shift it

or maybe not say things at all. And this is where the context dependent communication comes in. So what is appropriate? Cool. What is not appropriate? Not so cool. Things that we decide on. And then at that point, if I choose to go with impropriety, well, then I have made a choice to be maybe negative or hurtful or embarrassing of someone else. And that is not such a kind way. And that is lacking in compassion and would seem manipulative, correct?

armando (09:31.236)
Well, you don't have to agree with me one way or the other, but what I'm doing is in a sense, just trying to lay things out in the, let's think about this together process, because that's really what the compassionate perspective is. It's let me think this through. It's let me think with you, with you in mind more correctly and what my effects will be and kind of predicting what might happen and realizing what the expected result will be. So self-regulatory skills sometimes require a step back and to be able to think.

versus moving forward and acting as if I'm in the first person perspective and just worrying more so about what's impacting me. It's being aware of how I impact others. So the third person perspective is basically looking at myself and the other individual if this is a communication for instance, and how I'm engaging is being viewed from the outside, but with no opinion and with no involvement in the sense of me actually being affected and affecting them.

but truly just being a witness. So the witness perspective or the third person perspective, that lens is incredibly powerful, but it also gives you an opportunity to see things without being personally involved and actually taking one's personal judgment out that may actually color or shape whatever it is is going to be a direction in communication or action for that matter. And gives you what is also known as the wisdom perspective, not often known as that, but is known.

as the perspective of someone that's experienced and somebody that would probably wait and watch first before jumping in and Sometimes it is the elder knowledge that sounds like the third-person perspective and the second-person perspective before it's ever the first-person perspective and It tends to be more so a priority of three to one in many cases three third person to second person and one being myself and

That is a very compassionate view, but it is also one that is a little more universal in that one is careful in the way one navigates the world, so to speak. Now that I've covered the levels of impact on the self-regulation, we're thinking about the thought stopping and change and then the mental emotional link and the beliefs that stem from, and the third level is physiological structural. How am I? That is part of my environment. Yes, but it's also part of my

armando (11:56.004)
physiological state that impacts how I think, what I think and the quality of my thinks, so to speak, my thoughts. And I'm saying that wrong on purpose just to get some attention here. And the reason I do that is because the process of thinking is something that results from our state of being physically in our structural, state as well. And if we're uncomfortable in how we stand and we're exhausted or we're slouching, for instance, there's a difference in how we have

quality of experience because our breather is impacted, our ribs are compressed, our abdomen is tense. We may not be able to draw a full breath. That does affect my state moment to moment. So it's definitely going to affect how I think. So if I'm feeling uncomfortable, I may have some opinions that may seem a little perturbed. What might seem a little frustrated, maybe a little anxious, worried or uncomfortable, or just unwilling to engage.

Impatience most definitely especially if you're uncomfortable I just want to go sit down or go lay down or go get in the recliner because the standing thing it's Overrated so our structural self regulatory qualities are very very important Am I attentive to how I stand am I standing with my knees locked? Am I standing with my chin jutted forward or my shoulders pulled back? Am I holding tension in my back or my neck and my jaw all these things?

or symptomology of stress, maybe not threat, but stress, maybe the threat of gravity, of course, taking us down if we don't fight it. But the idea nonetheless is not one of immediate physiological damage to the self organism, but rather one of just merely having to work too hard to do something that should be really easy otherwise. And if we carry tension, it'll throw our physical balance off and then our thoughts and our

quality of beliefs and feelings come up as a result of that state once again. So the next part I'm going to do, I'm going to shift away from the levels of self-regulatory skill for a moment and just talk about some things that picked up this week and from the seminar, not the technical stuff, but things that I noted in our instructor. And he was such a gentleman, first off and very polite and kind, but very patient as well.

armando (14:17.951)
And it's really high level students that were helping them demonstrate both knife, sword, stick, and fighting scarf, no less, which was fricking amazing. Pardon my language. It was great and lots of fun to learn. But also what we looked at was from the cultural perspective, the tools that we were learning how to use were very humble farmers tools. And there things that have immediate carry over to what we do currently in our modern lives.

Who would think that a scarf something that you would use to filter air if you're in a dusty environment or to cover your head whenever you're working in the sun or something that would cover your mouth and neck if it's cold this sort of thing that you would carry around on your neck but with no sense of using it as a Fighting implement, but yet it's part of your day-to-day attire a very humble Utilitarian tool just a scarf useful for every day

maybe even a machete that's not necessarily for fighting but rather for agrarian type use or for whittling or chopping and rendering things to useful sizes so you can eat or build this sort of thing. Day-to-day implements, a knife not necessarily a fighting knife per se that has all these little barbs and hooks and oversized but something that is not unlike a folding pocket knife maybe two or three inches long.

Sharp for necessary cutting, but not for threatening people, but something that is worn on the body just for mere utility. These are humble tools. They don't look threatening, but they can be used against somebody threatening you and they can be used to protect self. So the principle is the humility in everyday things. That what are the things that are my activities that I do every day, maintaining a sense of humility. Yes, we gain skill.

Yes, we get better at things and maybe we even have someone pat us on the back and maybe get paid extra money because of it. But am I humble?

armando (16:16.097)
Humble and humility do not equate to being humiliated or being less or costing less or having less value. anything, having humility is realizing from the work that you do to gain those skills, to gain power, to gain knowledge, to gain influence, requires hard work and also requires a great deal of attentiveness to details to things that other people at lower levels may not see.

So there's a sense of wisdom that comes with that humility gained by hard experience gained by living a life that is not given to you, but one that is earned and you keep what you earn, but you also share what you've earned because you understand how difficult it is and that not everyone walks with an equivalence or an equality of capacity sometimes. And this is where our compassion comes in and our instructors show a great deal of patience.

with all people and gave time to those and including myself. I was a total fanboy for a moment. Asked him some questions and I guess he could see it in my face and I couldn't help myself. It was a once in a lifetime experience and I was very blessed to have the opportunity and my friend invited me and we went. We traveled four hours, stayed three days and did the training and it was an incredible experience. And I'm not someone that likes to travel a whole lot, but then I'll be very honest in the in-between times whenever I was quiet.

I miss my family. I miss my sons. I miss being at home in my routine, but I went and I saw the value of what was to be acquired and I trained and I brought it home. And it was worth that little bit of sacrifice being away from loved ones, being away from my typical stomping grounds and embracing a little bit of adventure. So did that require some self regulatory skills? Of course it did.

I didn't get all hung up on the emotions. knew there was going to be a matter of time, but also kept reminding myself, this is the reframe that the skills I was going to gain were quite worth it. And I wasn't screwing my mind over and lying to myself. knew the value of the things that we were going to learn and also knew the rarity of those skills in the areas that I live in, but also the utility of them and the fact that I'm going to continue to practice these the remainder of my life. So it wasn't just a matter of going to have fun.

armando (18:36.085)
and doing something neat, but rather it was an investment in not only myself, but also when I get skilled to those that I might be able to teach them to. And this doesn't mean I abandoned what I already train in, but rather it's going to sophisticated some of the things that I do already, but it's also going to add to things that I do that maybe I was lacking. Part of it was understanding distance and timing, but I will tell you what, there was a lot that I had to learn about not only being polite,

being humble and being patient, even when we're learning physical skills, we can't expect people to all move along at the same speed that we do or to gain the same understanding that we have. And it took me having trained for 30 some odd years, very little effort. I recognize that being the beginner, being the new student, being the white belt, so to speak, it's not a bad place to be. If anything, it's the most awesome place to learn from.

because you're saying, don't know. It doesn't mean you don't know anything. It just means that you're not letting the things that you know, get in the way of learning good, useful things that otherwise you wouldn't have gained the understanding of, especially from somebody that's a master level practitioner that is equally humble and knows the work that it took to get where he got. And he emulates not only the humility and patience, but he was also very kind and polite and gentle with everyone. And he

was accommodating with his time. If anything, those are some things that are worth emulating. And he was definitely very wise. also knowing my experience was, was giving me a greater degree of understanding of what I was getting and more apt to be willing to absorb what was given without question and just asking questions about and how to versus why or why not.

So I was focusing on the right things and the people that were there were incredibly skilled people, much more skilled at these arts than I am. And they were equally as patient and willing to share and teach and remind and correct. And that was absolutely okay. And those are things we have to do to gain skill, especially in self-regulation. We have to learn how to do these a little at a time. You don't get it all at once. but, there are things that are skills that practice.

armando (20:58.763)
They're perishable skills that if you don't practice, you don't maintain them. That includes knowing how to breathe, when to breathe, and the qualities of thinking required going into stresses and also recognizing the symptomology of stress, especially if it's very sudden onset. So self-regulatory skills are just that. They are skills and they are perishable skills. So they need to be practiced at least regularly enough to where you start doing them automatically and you don't have to intentionally practice them.

by setting time aside and doing these things discreetly. Now they're just a continuous variable that comes and goes as you need based on the need. Kind of nice in that sense. And I really enjoyed talking to you today and that's really all I have today. And I'm so glad to be back here on a Monday. I took a five day hiatus from work. Very nice. And I'm going to return tomorrow with more information and I am better because of the experience that I had and

I hope that maybe we get a chance to visit at some point in time. I've had people reach out and ask me about having guests on my podcast. So this is getting kind of exciting. We'll see how it goes. And thank you all folks for listening and at least considering the fact that I would host somebody and interview them. And that is actually phase two of this podcast that will be growing and slightly changing our format. Still doing the audio, but I'd like to have some guests on and that was

part and parcel to the idea once I started this program almost a year and a half ago. So still moving forward and still growing. So if you have any questions or any comments, please send them to the email running man get skills project at Gmail and I'll answer you. I may not answer you the same day, within a couple of days I will. I was a few days behind and responded because I was out of town this past weekend, but certainly.

really good talking to you and sharing time and thank you for sharing your time and lending your ear and I hope to hear from you and if we don't even then take care walk well