Self-Awareness: The Skill That Controls Stress, Focus, and Emotional Regulation

Ep 135. Self-awareness is one of the most talked-about concepts in personal development, mental health, wellness, and performance psychology—and for good reason. It is a foundational skill for emotional regulation, stress resilience, peak performance, and healthy relationships.

True self-awareness is not just an intellectual concept or a list of cognitive insights. It is a living, physiological process. It is how your nervous system tracks internal state, how your breath patterns shift under pressure, how your body signals safety or threat, and how your mind interprets meaning in each moment.

Through practices like conscious breathing, somatic awareness, and mindfulness training, we learn to recognize how our internal state shapes our thoughts, emotions, decisions, and behavior. This awareness allows us to regulate stress, sharpen focus, improve communication, and develop both physical and cognitive skills with greater efficiency.

Self-awareness is what allows us to notice when we are reactive instead of responsive, when we are operating from habit instead of intention, and when our emotional state is shaping our perception of reality. It is the bridge between survival mode and conscious choice, between automatic reaction and deliberate action.

By learning to observe the present moment—both the intense moments and the quiet spaces in between—we develop the capacity to stay grounded, adaptive, and centered as life unfolds minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

Take care, and walk well.

Transcript

Welcome back folks to
episode 135 of the Running Man Self-Regulation Skills Project podcast with me, your host, Dr. Armando Dominguez, PhD in Health Psychology, licensed professional counselor and an adjunct professor at a local community college. What we're going to be discussing today is going to be self-awareness. Now this is something that is a term that is thrown around rather easily and flippantly by many people and it has quite a bit of variance and meaning but we're going to get very specific with it today and show you some

some detailed ideas as to what self-awareness is that can make a really big difference in how we self-regulate, how we manage in our environment, whether it be social interactive or even within our own internal environment, whether or not we want to relax or in effect, be more aware of what's going on in my own body for that matter. And also becoming aware of those things that are our thoughts or thought process that arise as a result of whatever filter we may be living in moment to moment. So what we're going to do is identify a couple of details.

one is getting in your mind getting in your body and how we unify those things to get better effects to initiate the discussion what we're going to talk about is what awareness is first off and There are variances once again as to what we call self-awareness out in public and also more specifically people that do somatic work people that do therapy counseling and also those that are coaches that are particularly well-versed in trying to get people to improve their skills whether it be physical skills as in like basketball

basketball, martial arts, or for that matter, even getting somebody to be aware of their body and how they respond, as far as like learning piano, that's a very somatic skill and it's very timing oriented. We'll talk about timing here in a little while too. And, much of that has to do with how we perceive perception has to do with what our body, takes in as far as signal, whether it be pressure, sense, sensation, we'll call that tactile acuity, or even the signals that we

armando (02:40.688)
here

And also our internal environment having to do with all those signals interpreted coming in from all the five senses and making sense of them and then acting upon it. So when we restart that looking at self-awareness, have to identify well who self is and this may seem utterly fundamental, maybe a little insulting. hope it didn't insult anybody, but if it did take, sorry, that was not the goal. But the point is to make a very distinct point, even though was a little hyperbolic, exaggerated in that sense that

we idea of self notice I said idea it's cognitive process. So we have a sense of who I am as an individual how I identify. And I know who I am based on my likes dislikes and my general sense of how I feel when I wake up in the morning. It's much more deep than just what clothes I'm wearing or what role I'm playing, but rather who you are as an individual. So the idea of self is where we start our idea of

of how can I become self aware so by knowing where I start and where I begin that's step one and why is it so fundamental because often if we think about when we're being breared when we're little before we were aware of our own reflection in a mirror and known that who is that person and that person is me not having an identity or sense of self at that point as far as an individual not necessarily gender bias but understanding

that that individual looking out is this conscious entity and that's a reflection of me. Wow, that's a trip. But also that's also where we start whenever I'm not looking out and recognizing reflection, but rather pointing that finger back and touching my own chest or mind with what I'm thinking about or even

armando (04:59.98)
touching my own knees and feeling my face that that is where the actions going to begin. So becoming aware of self has a somatic quality. That means we have a sensorium, a quality experience wherever we're feeling in the body, not emotions necessarily that are basically our emotive opinions that are feelings loaded with thoughts that kind of become the emotions we drive with, but rather that experience of being in this body and breathing within it and feeling the temperature, the

of thing and what the air feels like going in our nose when it's nice and cool from the outside and it leaves nice and warm once our body has warmed it and we expel it as largely co2 if we're efficient in our breathing capacity and that is one of those things that we take for granted because we're so busy doing our life and stuck in activity that we stop being

the human being and start becoming the human doing as they say and by slowing down a little bit that doesn't mean stop but stopping doesn't hurt either just as long as you don't stop forever and Get up and go again. We will get a sense of this relationship that we the way we think of ourselves our meta thinking or higher cognitive thinking not so much but rather that thinker and an observer that observed observed our own thoughts having this experience that Realizing that you know, we are observing

and experiencing this and sometimes in the esoteric circles is called the witness where we're seeing what it is that we're doing as an observer almost a third person of her observer or even the backseat driver observation quality that many speak of when they're under a great degree of stress so awareness starts with self and i could have said it much more succinctly i'm sure but it's not about the verbiage it's about the experience of it and being able to touch what it is that experience is and i'm trying to bridge

that gap from the words I speak to the bodily experiences that you have to make sense of it. Cause your definition of self versus mine is going to change a little bit after we're done talking today. And that's okay. That's the idea. want to evolve that sense. So we have more depth, but also more breadth as far as what we can draw on, this personal individual experience. And we're going to go on to step two. Now that we've gone on to recognize, well, where the self exists and where I'm experiencing this experience of individual meanness.

armando (07:23.448)
so to speak. The next part we need to identify is the thought process, because the thought process really has a lot to do with what we're going to do, because the things that we require to become more self-aware, we kind of need a brain doing, braining or mind, so to speak, to be able to do these things. So it's a strategic thing, not anything complex by any stretch of the imagination. Mind to imagination is part of mind, is it not? It's also kind of a precognitive process in many cases, because sometimes we tend to

visualize what it is that we see before think rather before we do and that is such a quick process from the back part of our brain or occipital region where we interpret visual signal but also the memories that we have that we Recollect in a visual sense. So a very powerful part is recognizing where mind is and then mind is a result of brain Of course your brain exists within the brain housing or brain case of your skull or your cranium if you want to call it that but

The idea is we have to understand where mind comes from, but mine does not solely exist within the brain. They say that our brain is more so a receiver and a transmitter. I'm not going to go that route into quantum physics and the idea of the mind field, but rather as our mind within ourself and what we generate based on our experience comes up from memory or what they would use to call N grams for singular bits of memory that is housed within our brain when it's stored for

whatever reason for later use if you will. But the idea of mind is often affected by the state of our body. And that's going to be the next step we take. But we have to understand that mind is not a pure thing as it is filtered based on how we are moment to moment in our environment, external outside of us internally, how that environment's going. And that becomes the filter that tends to color or shift or change what it is that we experience not only as thought, but

the process of mind or thinking. And that means that not everything that we have is not only discrete as a thought, but it's been filtered and shaped, so to speak, it's been impacted. So it's no longer just a pure thought or pure thinking. And we have to recognize that. So

armando (09:40.53)
understanding where mind is and what mind is will let us know a little more will give us some insight into kind of how I feel while I'm doing my day to day job my stuff that I call my my life and my relationships and my activity to you activities that I like to do I might have an inclination towards really physical things like lifting and moving and pushing and cranking wrenches this sort of thing versus really fine motor work which there's nothing wrong with that either what I'm saying is that we may have a

Proclivity one word the other and part of it has to do with awareness of who we are and what we're doing and our Proclivities those who are likes and that has to do with the hedonic principle Moving towards those things that not only give us pleasure but our health inducing or or generative they make us feel good so to speak and Also those things that we move away from and even the things that we don't do Kind of define in a sense what it is and who it is that we become over time not just what we do but who we are and

Those are important details to pay attention to so the next part we're gonna talk about that was step two Identifying the mind and what it is what it does is step three and that has to do with the somatic awareness What's our body doing now? Yes, we have pressure sensation of like me sitting here on a chair behind a mic right now with the pop filter Which is such a cool thing for me I don't know why I like pop filters, but kind of cool sits in front of my mic as I'm speaking to you But here I am having this sensation of distance

in space between me and the mic, the laptop. I'm looking off to my right down here on my table where I'm doing this podcast and I have an analog timepiece and it's a stopwatch. I love stopwatches. They're amazing. I would love to get a metronome because the concept of time, the experience of it and the measuring of it to me is incredibly fascinating. Now I'm not a mathematician, but it ties very closely into much of the training that I used to do. Not one as only as a martial artist, but

also one where I was trying to develop speed time. I had a lot to do with how I perceive things in my environment and much of what my environment had to do as far as me differentiating my speed.

armando (11:54.05)
versus environmental speed and how I how it intersect or interact with it had to do with how I was feeling the somatic part so what we have to do is become aware of what is good to do is to become aware of our state of body moment to moment mind you I didn't say mind at this point because it does affect mine but one of the things that is becoming more and more available to us and not only in the the pop psychology self-help books that are coming out but many of people that are now in

influences. Many people that have been therapists for decades have just now come to the understanding that many physical artists, many martial artists, many dancers, many actors, many folks that were working within the field of what we would call alternative medicine were well aware of for not only decades, but their lineages and the history of their, of their knowledge, their knowledge base knew this for a long time. And this isn't new.

is that our body is how we create change in our mind and method acting is one that really relies heavy on this. So state of body, we can embody a state and we can become very compelling in the way we're acting. If you stay long enough in a role and this is not really a negative, but it's definitely a caveat. Be careful with this. How we act tends to be how we become over time and who would become if you do it long enough and with enough intensity, you can actually

if you will condition or hypnotize yourself suggest to yourself that you are

someone else as in a personage or role that you're playing. If you look at many of the actors that are really well known, they tend to stay in character even for interviews after the fact. It's an absolute and complete emergence. So there is power there. So I would say be careful about those things, but relative to becoming self-aware of the body, it doesn't have to be such a creepy thing. It's about, how can I use that requisite power that exists within me to create change in myself?

armando (13:59.532)
This isn't fake it till you make it but rather behave it till you make it fake it to make it has an underlying quality that In term that makes it seem almost like we're being disingenuous and dishonest and it's not that one wanting to better themselves and choosing to act or do or behave or Move in a way

that is indicative of the direction of that they want to go no matter how clumsy it may be does not mean that they're not being authentic just means that

the individual exacting that action or that behavior wants to create change and is willing to do that, whether it looks silly or not, or whether it looks clumsy or not over time to be able to gain whatever it is that that goal is, whatever that behavior may be. And we see that even in business, we see that in the development of skill, see it in the development of skills that are supported in professional sense, such as licensure, RNs and doctors and therapists, clinicians,

sort of thing, all have to start with a modicum of skill with guidance and then eventually get skilled over time and learn to embody that. So that somatic embodiment of skill comes in time and part of it is by practicing and doing in repetition.

We start off with a learning model that has to do with unconscious incompetence. I don't know it exists and I have no skill, conscious incompetence. I'm aware of the skill, man, I want that. And I start moving that direction. And by determination, I realized, I don't know what I'm doing. And that's okay. That's not foolish. No one starts.

armando (15:36.876)
With the idea that all of a sudden, just because you intend to do that, you're going to be and have to be, or must be very skilled. Once you start, no, that's not skill development. That's a miraculous and that rarely happens. So it's okay to start with little skill and with a great degree of passion and intent. Nothing wrong with that. Now, why am I hammering so hard on the somatic is because very honestly, our body.

And our signals that we are interpreting are are happening within our body our perceptions 400 times faster than our conscious mind at 1.2 seconds is our Perceptual signal interpretation that starts at 0.3 seconds or three milliseconds. That's 400 400 times slower than the 1.2 Seconds that it takes for our conscious mind to recognize a signal and make sense of it when our cognitive mind just barely starts to kick on that's 1200 milliseconds

Thanks

400 times slower than the initiation and our body actually determining approach or void starts at about 3 milliseconds to 13 milliseconds. That's incredibly fast at about 60 milliseconds. That's about 20 times slower than faster than the conscious mind at 1.2 seconds coming on. It's still incredibly fast. And that's just where we barely start determining approach or void because I recognize friend or foe. Any faster than that is by default seen as an enemy because

we have to be safe first and our organism must be protected. Now the somatic aspect of self-awareness does have a lot to do with perception. What signals are coming in visually? What signals are coming in auditory? What am I hearing? And also what signals are coming in by touch, taste or smell?

armando (17:20.658)
And those are the things that will determine my immediate moment to moment state in my body And this is step three once again that will affect step two. That's the mind our thinking and then getting aware of where our breath comes In and out of our body which was step one

And that is our most fundamental awareness right there. And all those three things kind of interweave and occur simultaneously. And there are a couple of more steps I want to touch upon, but those are probably the ones that are most fundamentally useful and profound in the effect of becoming self-aware. Now going on to step four, what we're looking at is perception. We talked about the signals that come in, but this is more so about what we call perception versus what actual perception is.

And often in the language and the reason I mentioned this is because our language has a lot of impact on the people we speak with, but also the language that we speak to ourselves is incredibly powerful and impacts not only how we feel, but how we think we feel in the future and how we feel as a result of the past, but also how we am, are in the immediate moment. said that on purpose, just to make the point and our perception.

has to do with the physical signal, the impulse that's coming in from the external environment to the internal environment. And perspective is often a misnomer for perception and not the same. whenever we have a perspective, that's more so a mindset that I've come to a conclusion of. And that's more so, step two to three or three to two. And, perception has to do with the actual signal for our purposes, becoming more aware.

Self-aware requires that we differentiate that and have some precise language about it because it does make a difference next thing Our emotions step five our emotions tend to come up as a result of our thought process mind you step Two and three having to do with our mind and our body and those the state of those they influence each other but the state of body if I am frightened is going to affect my state of mind and my emotions that may

armando (19:32.352)
arise as a result of a signal that may be particularly intense or look frightening at the perceptual level. Once again, that was that perception step four that we're interpreting may happen so quickly. We're talking about the 0.3 milliseconds, 400 times faster than our conscious mind at 1.2 seconds, we'll start to shape what it is that's going on. And sometimes an emotional load coupled with a thought process can be very, very powerful in how we,

not only remember a memory, but also how we respond to it. Cause we may over respond to something simply because it feels scary in recollection. And part of that is, and this is another P word I'm going to add, but it's not part of the step is called preservation. And whenever we're preserverative of a thought, that means we have a thought that keeps coming up. If we were to be thinking about the word, finger, for instance, and it starts with an F and we have somebody talk to us and we tell them, okay,

pay attention to this word and all of a sudden every time that they talk to us, the word finger comes up or the finger, links, uh, ring finger, uh, fingernails, anything that comes up that has the word finger in it. And not only that, but a starting letter of F for instance, starts to permeate the communication after that fact. And that is not necessarily

to illness or injury or damage of some sort. That is something that our brain does as a process if things are particularly fast. We tend to hyper-focus and repeat those things that we may deem have value in a survival sense, but we haven't decided at a higher cognitive level, but rather at a level that would be probably closer to our work and memory moment to moment, making sure that we don't miss a detail and we may be hyper-preservative of

A detail that has nothing to do with our survival, but it's just particularly bright or prominent or novel that we tend to pay attention to it versus the signal that may actually save our life, so to speak, if it's a dangerous situation. But once again, perception has to do with the signal that comes in. Step five has to do with the emotion that may arise as a result of that interpretation. Is it dangerous to me? Can I move towards it? Is it something that I'm going to like or is it something that I'm going to avoid?

armando (21:48.126)
And mind you, said that much of what we identify, ourself as over time, as far as me, those things that I like, things that I do may not be who I am, but rather things that help me identify and give me value in that sense of who I am as an individual. The things that we avoid also help shape that. And that approach avoid thing is very powerful at this level, because anything that we do does have a modicum of emotion at the very least as a foundation to it that helps move it in the direction.

what I'm going to act on, act against, or not involve myself with at all. So there's always emotion involved and there is a very involved precognitive process that occurs there that will shape what we do and also what we believe over time. Now step six has to do with our environment, our external environment, internal environment, and I did identify that. But I just want to make a point that there is impact, not only that, but there's influence by

way of our environment moment to moment. And I'm not going to expand on this a whole lot since I did mention it earlier, but it is really important to understand what our internal environment is like my state, moment to moment. It could be sick, could be in chronic pain, and that'll affect how I think and how I feel and even how I perceive myself as an individual, my measure of self. And, we have to be aware of the fact that not only self awareness, but the impact on myself.

that will shape who it is I am moment to moment, because that can vary very slightly. And also the quality of how I arrive moment to moment or interact with the situation. So the next step, step seven, and this awareness part about self-awareness has to do with the quality of interaction that I derive as a result of all these other influences, breath, mind, somatic awareness, perception, also emotion and external environment. And

These two things are really important. One is a sense of separation and connection. The goal often for us to enjoy does not necessarily have to do with meeting people and becoming part of the group and being accepted, but sometimes it can. It doesn't always have to do with that sense of connection, but sometimes it can. And if we understand that that sense of separation or connection arrives from not so much other people, but rather our sense of wellness or centeredness, wherever we feel not only well enough,

armando (24:12.696)
But sometimes we even judge ourselves rather harshly mind you, in a sense that we would say we're deserving or undeserving of certain connections or interactions with people. And that has to do with a very embodied somatic sense of wellness, wherever we are. Okay. Not only where we're at, some like to use the term of being comfortable in your own skin. I think that's a weird term. that's just my opinion. don't connect to that idea very well, but, also just having a sense of.

of wellness in the moment in the space that you're at and not getting hung up about movement and time where I got to be or who I got to interact with but rather just being in that state of so-ness right now and that's kind of the idea whenever we're most still most comfy least stressed and least threatened is whenever we start getting a sense of wellness of oneness a sense of centeredness

And comfort moment to moment, that's wherever meditation in motion starts occurring. This is wherever what I'm doing. I'm embodied, I'm aware, and I'm totally present. And that's an important thing because whenever I have a handle on that, then I become much more pleasant and peachy to be around. And I can appreciate those people that are pleasant and peachy around me more effectively as well. And even the less than pleasant and peachy, tend to be able to tolerate them a little more effectively as well. So.

These are the important parts of not only self-awareness, but also having a sense of centeredness, well-being, knowing that by default we feel more connected to our universe and also to our neighbors, depending how far away they are, and not feeling that sense of distance and aloneness. And self-awareness serves a big purpose in many cases, not only skills we develop, but also just how we are moment to moment, day to day. So,

Definitely a good thing and I give you my encouragement in this area. So for now, I want to tell you thank you for sharing this Saturday evening with me here in West Texas. We are snowed in. We don't have a whole lot of snow on the ground, but we don't know how to drive in that snow. So we may have school shutdowns and whatnot here soon. And it is technically about 16 degrees Fahrenheit here. I'm not sure what it is in centigrade, but it's definitely below freezing and it's sticking a little bit. Driving's a little dangerous, but

armando (26:32.234)
I am here being productive and sharing some information that I think is particularly useful. Now, if you'd like to find this podcast, you can find it on all podcast platforms that you use Spotify, iHeartRadio, iTunes, and Amazon music as well. And also have a channel on YouTube for the Running Man podcast too. Please go there. Like, subscribe and share. I'd love to see that subscriber number grow. It's been growing about one a week, which is really kind of cool. And thank you for that.

But I also want to tell you thank you for just being part of my journey and I look forward to sharing this information and reaching out to you all globally. And I'd love to hear from you on email. You have any feedback for me, please send it to the email at running man, get skills project at Gmail. I'd love to hear from you. Take care. Be self-aware. Walk well.