The 3 Steps That Turn Stress Into Strength

Ep 158. The Three Steps That Transform Stress Into Strength

Stress and anxiety have become constant companions in modern life.

Whether we live in a busy city, a quiet rural community, or anywhere else in the world, life continually presents us with unexpected challenges, uncertainty, change, and moments that test our ability to adapt.

Most of these situations are not truly life-threatening.

Yet our nervous system often responds as though they are.

A difficult conversation.

An unexpected financial setback.

A health concern.

A demanding workplace.

A family conflict.

A sudden change in plans.

Each can activate the same neurological survival systems designed to protect us from physical danger.

The question is not whether stress will appear.

The question is whether we have trained ourselves to respond skillfully when it does.

The Running Man Human Stress Model teaches that lasting resilience is not created through motivation alone.

It is built through skill.

Like every meaningful skill, self-regulation develops through a progressive process.

Step One: Knowledge

Every transformation begins with understanding.

We first learn what the nervous system is doing and why it responds the way it does.

Knowledge provides the roadmap.

Without understanding, meaningful practice has no direction.

Step Two: Insight

Knowledge changes how we think.

Insight changes how we see.

As our understanding deepens, we begin recognizing our own stress patterns, emotional reactions, and habitual responses in real time.

The world begins to look different because our interpretation has changed.

Awareness creates possibility.

Step Three: Embodied Skill

Knowledge and insight are only the beginning.

Transformation occurs when repeated practice rewires the nervous system.

Breathing becomes natural.

Awareness becomes automatic.

Calm becomes familiar.

The skill becomes part of who we are.

This is embodied knowledge.

It is no longer something we remember.

It becomes something we do without conscious effort.

The Running Man Human Stress Model is built upon this progression.

Knowledge.

Insight.

Embodiment.

The goal is not simply to understand stress.

The goal is to become someone who can remain centered while moving through it.

Every meaningful discipline follows this path.

Learning.

Practicing.

Becoming.

This is how martial artists develop mastery.

It is how musicians perform effortlessly.

It is how athletes compete under pressure.

And it is how we transform our relationship with stress.

The nervous system learns through repetition.

The body learns through experience.

The person changes through practice.

Lasting transformation is not an event.

It is a process.

Train consistently.

Become familiar with calm.

Expand your capacity.

And allow resilience to become second nature.

Take care.

Walk well.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:39

Welcome back, folks, to episode 158 of the Running Man Self-Regulation Skills Project Podcast with me, your host, Dr. Armando Dominguez, PhD in health psychology, licensed professional counselor, and an adjunct professor at a local community college. And what we're going to start discussing today is going to be transformation and change, meaningful change. And how can we foster change and what are the most important elements in there three that must be there for us to have not only the beginnings of change, but also the development of change that doesn't go away. When we get better, we stay better for long periods of time, and then we can start developing that sense of resilience and also basically feeling more connected and more joyful in life generally. In my efforts to always provide good content, I want to share a couple of things. I do love to read, and I find good books once in a while, and some that are uh books that have been around for a while. But uh there's one that just recently came out, and it's called Engaged Compassion. Uh the author is Lobsang Tenzin Negi, PhD, and um it's called Seven Practices to Cultivate Resilience, Connection, and a Joyous Life. Now, this is really some awesome stuff coming from the Tibetan meditation traditions, but uh it's more so not just about meditation, but rather embodied practice. And these aren't sitting on your meditation cushion type ideas, and this is where the running man and this engaged compassion book have a lot of parallels because it speaks of embodied knowledge, and uh we'll go into the three points that are incredibly important, especially if you want to develop some skills to become more of yourself, wherever you're not being guided and shaped by your environment to the detriment of yourself wherever wherever you wind up losing yourself. The running man uh human stress model, the way I teach it, it's about coming back to yourself, not losing yourself in stress. But one of the most important things that I point out, uh he points out in this book in three simple little ideas. And I say simple and they're simple to digest, but in practice they're incredibly powerful because they're not complex. And it doesn't have to be just what I teach. But any system that improves upon your quality of life, gets you more connected and more joyful, these three things must be there for them to work. And to start off with, I'd like to point out the first one, and that is, as uh Dr. uh Neggy puts it, uh we have to have content knowledge. That means information, new information. Not all information, mind you, and I'm going to place the caveat here, not all information and underline this with exclamation points if you have a notebook, that not all of information is equal. Not all of it is equal. I have worked with people many times and have had friendships in the past where people would deal with knowledge as if it was all somehow an equivalent and it's not. That's like saying from the monetary perspective that a million dollars is the equivalent of a penny, or that having a cow is the equivalent of having a mansion. And apples and oranges, yes, but the the valuation of those things is not the same. They carry a different weight. They're important in their own realms, of course, but we can't get it confused, especially when it comes to going on to trying to fix what's going on inside of us that has come as a result of stress, of trauma, of pain, or seeing someone else being traumatized that we've vicariously uh experienced trauma by watching or by hearing really harsh or maybe traumatic narrative that leaves us with uh an emotional scar, an ethical um indent, so to speak, or maybe even a moral injury. And whenever we deal with these things, it's not all in your head. Of course, it may start in the thought process as a reception from I see and I make sense of and therefore I make meaning, and now I feel bad or I feel less capable, or maybe I stopped doing things because of maybe what what I've experienced. Like maybe you used to like playing music, and all of a sudden you realize you're 30 years down the line and you never finish taking flute lessons because maybe your teacher was just really harsh and incredibly critical, and maybe they had a bad day for a long period of time and you just happened to arrive on those days when it was worst. And that may have turned off your desire to want to expand and become and express what it is that would have been your bestest of your best self, so to speak, starting at a young age, but yet still impacting your your life when you're now 37. So that's a pretty serious deal. So to get back to these three points, and we'll get back into what it is that is that we're looking at, and and that's seeding the ground, that's tilling the ground, preparing for the seed, actually, so that we can cultivate transformation and change, not for the sake of change or not to for the sake of differences so I can be different than what I was yesterday, but rather meaningful change, meaningful transformation, something that takes you from where you're at today to where you want to be tomorrow. It may not be the immediate tomorrow. It could be a matter of cutting down on the stress you feel in the immediate moment, which is a step behind you in the direction of better and clarity such that you can make better decisions on the way forward to what it is that is your goal, what you want to be, who you want to become. And those things will always be available to us as long as we can maintain a state of centeredness and clarity. And uh without getting all airy-fairy about this, but without those things, we can't see the direction we're going. And we might want to get to a goal, and you don't have to necessarily envision every single step you're gonna take. Some people do get that, but very few actually do. Um, but knowing what direction you're going, that's a big deal. Whenever we're cloudy headed because we're in fight-flight and we're trying to make sure that we're gonna survive the immediate moment, even though your environment may be safe, but yet you have the triggers in the environment that may cause you to go into fight-flight, and you don't know cognitively I know why I'm scared. So therefore, you know, I'm having this fear response. Sometimes I have the scared, and I don't know why or what it is that might cause it, because it's so fast and it's so practiced, it's become second nature. Not that you practiced it on purpose, but whenever we have chronicity of stress that brings up those responses and it's those reactions more correctly, because the response would be more mindful, of course. That means I'd be aware. So when I'm lacking that awareness, so to speak, then my environment drives me and I'm being driven, and I feel like I'm a backseat driver and I don't like who's driving. It's like getting an Uber and you don't like your driver and you can't help it because he just locked the doors, and well, you're in for a ride. And not the best of metaphors, but modern enough, I guess, and it makes sense. But I want us to pay attention to these three things. And the very first one, once again, that uh Dr. Neggy puts out is content knowledge. So not all knowledge is equal, once again, but once you get information that is useful, that can help in meaningful change to create that shift, that difference, but not only a shift in change that happens, oh, I feel good when I've done this, but one that stays, one that sticks. What we're looking at is having an enduring transformation, an enduring change and shift in what it is that I'm changing within myself. Now, it doesn't mean changing identity, what your name is, or wearing a wig and acting as if, or maybe even wearing a mustache and saying, hey, I'm different because of that. That is very superficial, not meaningful, great for theater, and it it's okay. Um, that's not wrong. I'm not speaking badly of the theater folks, but we know that's a persona that we put on intentionally that we know we're going to take off when we're done with our job. And our life, many times we live like this, where we put on the show, so to speak. And I say that in quotes, not that we do it to overcome uh people by being false, but rather sometimes we have to get along to get along. And if our stress is so chronic that our getting along becomes the the regularity, and I can't set back into being myself whenever I'm home, when I'm relaxed, when I'm wearing that really worn-out t-shirt that's really nice and comfy, and being barefoot and wiggling my toes on the recliner, this sort of thing. If I don't have enough of that, we may get a little amnestic. That means we forget what it's like to just be that and enjoy that. And we have a huge movement that says, let's get back to that. And that's also indicative of the level of stress that we have in the way we live, that's hard to escape, even if it's for a day or a few hours. So once again, content knowledge is the first part. The second step that uh Dr. Nagy mentions, and I love giving him credit because this is an amazing book and definitely a treasure, and I would encourage you to buy it. It's not a huge read, but the thing is it's worth repeating uh over and over because this practice teaches us how to be kind and compassionate, not just with self, but with others, and to live in a way that's much more mindful, but also connected. So, step two, the second part of this isn't just content knowledge in the sense that we know what it is that we're doing, because knowledge itself is not going to do anything. Because if you apply it, it may create a couple of things that we call change in the moment because we like the idea may make us feel good. But how does lasting transformation occur? How can we shift in a way that it's enduring and it stays with us and we become better as a result of it? As in anything, it's skill building, as in sport, sport psychology, even whenever we're dealing with sport physiology, whenever we're doing rehab, prehab, and also skill building, what do we do? We go through the range of motion, so to speak. And in this case, you go through the exercise, pick up that content knowledge now that you're aware of it, and do it. Then what do you do? You do it again. It's repetition, it's repeat, it's practice. Skill building happens whenever knowledge becomes not only comfortable, but it becomes familiar. But it becomes so familiar that it becomes second nature. And this is where we go into recognizing, oh, wow, this is different. And the second step is called personalized insight. We develop insight as a result of this new knowledge, not once again all knowledge is equal, but specific knowledge with potential for transformation, the good stuff. This is where your kung fu exists, where the secrets of the martial art are real, and there are some things that do not belong in the hands of the masses, especially if you run around smacking people, knocking people out, and it doesn't take much. Well, you don't want that in the hands of somebody that's unreliable or 13 years old and can't control their temper, right? And in many cases, certain knowledge, yes, is not equal to other knowledge, and we want to make sure that if we get transformational information, that we apply it, we think about it, we practice it. So we have it in our head. And mind you, this goes with a presupposition that if you're able to think about this, once again, step one, where we have content knowledge, that means I'm able to have cognition in my fullest sense wherever I can think about it. I can read about it, I can study on it, I can wonder about it from my lens. How does this help me? Because my why is always going to be my why. It's always going to be the reason that I do, my reason for living and doing that's unique to somebody else that may have lived a life in the same house with me that may be my twin. We share genetics, but not through my lens, not through my eyes, not in my shoes. The closest we can get is sitting next to each other, so it's gonna be unique. And each one of you, every one of us, including myself, have a unique perspective. Whenever we're looking at personalized insight, there are certain things that will light you up that are going to make sense in a way that it's not gonna make sense to someone else because you are your own your own unique reference point in this life. How you interact with people in a relationship is from your view, your perspective, and your shoes pointing at them as well as theirs is pointing at you, and each one is different, and you can't occupy both at the same time in the practical sense. We're not talking about quantum knowledge, mind you, and we can go that route, but we're not doing it today. But uh just the idea in a very practical sense. I am here, you are there. We're occupying environmental space, and if we're relating with each other, and this information helps, I have to have it in my mind to be able to do it. But to be able to use it effectively, I have to practice it a little bit, repetition. But whenever I get to the point where I note that difference, whenever I've used it once or twice, and even if it's a little clumsy, that personalized insight comes in. You and I can apply the same knowledge, but it'll affect each one of us in a positive way in most cases, if it's good information. But it's gonna be a little different for each one of us, and we're each gonna have a reference point based on our life and of experience that's gonna be different, no matter how closely we live a life together. We may have the same experience in the sense of we're both going to the bouncy house, but the way you relate to it and I do, it's very individual and personal. So content knowledge, number one, personalized insight, number two, whenever we're applying information for lasting transformation and shift. And three, whenever we get that embodied knowledge, this is wherever the work lives within you. You no longer have to think it discreetly in steps A, B, C, D, timing one, two, three. It's not like that anymore. You start going through those movements of thoughts of strategies of, and they start becoming easy because quality of life increases. This is when we start seeing more connection. This is where we start seeing more joy in life and more enjoyment of things generally, and we we change in our demeanor, we become less stressful because this helps us, and I don't want to use the zero sum term, but helps us win in our lives more. Not points on the board. The most fundamental wind that we ever have is being alive. And this is what I mean whenever I say above ground sucking wind. And thanks to my friend Jim, former marine, that mentioned that to me, what is the most fundamental wisdom that you have realizing that you're not dead, you're above ground and you're sucking wind. That means you're breathing. And I thank him for that. But it helped me realize when I was a young man that I can get really stuck in my head worrying about how am I going to pay my bills? What about my job? What about this? What about that? And we can run that into the ground and cause us to have fear and stress and anxiety and maybe even develop ulcers or irritable bowel irritable balance syndrome because you can't run from your head and your mind. And I've experienced some of that, not the ulcers necessarily, but irritability of intestines just simply because I was so worried. Not a great place to be. And I wasn't experienced what what I would call anxiety per se, but I did have anxious episodes where I didn't know what to do. And uh that's been long gone for a long time, and I'm grateful for that. But I did experience those real symptoms, wasn't any kind of fun. So I like teaching this because I'd much rather have y'all not have that, or if y'all are experiencing that, alleviate and mitigate those symptoms so you can have a more joyous life, so you can have better connection, not always be in fight-flight. That's what the Running Man book is about. And this is why I enjoyed this book, the Engaged Compassion Book by Dr. Love Sung Tenzineggi. Go and check it out. I'm encouraging it and I am giving credit where credit's due. I did not invent those three things, but those three things are in my running man model. Those three things are also in other models, the cognitive behavioral models, even if you're going into therapy, even those contemplative models, they have to have these three things for them to be effective and to create the change that you want. I'm not telling you to follow me, I'm telling you become better what it is that you do. If you like my book, awesome. I'd love to have you uh buy the book. It's available on Kindle and in print as well. But what I would like even better is knowing that you're getting a more together life, more comfortable life, because you're able to create change. And these three things, if you have these three things, regardless of what the knowledge is that you're applying, if it comes from a source that you trust and if you researched, make sure that you learn the methodology to practice it. And if it changes how you look at things and it gives you insight, that's two-thirds of the battle. The other third has to do with practice. And once you get to the point of embodied knowledge, that means it's not so much that you never think about it, but you don't have to think about it to make the steps. You're no longer in baby step mode. You're now walking. And at some point you're walking with fervor or run walk, if anything, wherever you can move faster with this methodology such that things that used to be stressful, stressors, they don't stress you near as much. Not only that, the impact is mitigated. That means it it gets limited. Doesn't mean you'll have none. Doesn't mean you're gonna be floating on the cloud somehow untouchable. No, it just means that you're gonna recover more quickly. And not only that, you may not have to recover at all in the sense that you're gonna be much more resilient and you're not going to be in a space wherever you have to bounce back because you've been knocked down so much. You'll get knocked down less. You'll be able to maintain your center, you'll be able to keep your feet up under you. You'll be able to meet those things that otherwise we would have considered contentious or even confrontational or realize it's not confrontation. Sometimes we have to meet things head on, but our models sometimes make us fear, like every time we do this, and it may have been in our experience, mind you, and we realize that not everything that we deal with having to do with interaction with others that may be disagreement. Doesn't have to be an argument. We just don't have to look at each other and then get mad and then do the dance of anger, so to speak, or the dance of fear, or the dance of domination where one is dominant and one one succumbs and has to act as if they're feeble and weak and and let the other person gloat above them as if it's somehow uh an ancient society, and I just won, then I have a spear and I'm stronger than you, this sort of thing, and you don't have one. It's not like that. But it used to be at some point, and our wiring reflects that. But it doesn't mean that we have to run around feeling like we're on the list, we're on the menu, we're being hunted, or we're going to get killed or eaten. And I say it very clearly because those are the things that drive our fight-flight response. When we become more aware of that, the more wise we become because we know what drives it. That's content knowledge. The second part, personalized insight, is like, well, I don't have to respond like that because it's not that dangerous. I always feel bad afterwards where I feel ashamed and guilty when I realize, oh, it wasn't that big a deal, and I over-responded, and that's where we start punishing ourselves. You have to love yourself and be compassionate enough with yourself to understand that we don't get to skill and knowledge just because we think about it. And at some point we're going to be clumsy. At some point, yeah, we're going to drop the ball. That's okay. The idea is in resilience is to get back up and do it again. Practice is what makes us better. Practice makes skill. Some people like that perfect practice makes perfect term. That's great for building physical skills, but there's no such thing as perfection. So as close to uh uh I would call a perfect repetition that we can, we want to do that, yes. But does it mean that the repetitions that are a little misshapen, kind of like making pancakes the first ones, always a little knots around, or even tortillas? It looks kind of like a square grandma. I'll eat it anyway, it's still a tortilla. But it's not about the shape of it, it's about the effort that goes in. It's about the practice and repetition, and soon enough, with skill, the technique emerges or personal insight, and then it becomes embodied. I no longer have to think about it, just kind of automatic. And that's where we want to get when it comes to self-regulatory skills. So to create transformation and lasting change, we have to realize three things once again. And I'll say it again: content knowledge. You have to have good information that's actionable from sources you can trust. Two, practice so that you can get to that point of personalizing personalized insight to wherever you see things differently. And three, embody knowledge. Get it to the point where you practice it so much you no longer need to practice. This is what um Musashi talked about in the book of Five Rings about sharpening your sword. And the sword isn't necessarily just the blade you cut with, but rather our mind, ourself. And at some point, you get so good at it you no longer have to sharpen your sword. It's so sharp. Anytime you hold it, it is sharpening in the sense that you're always doing things that'll make it better. And that's where we start learning how to apply that embodied knowledge, not just in the way that I do, but rather in a way that's unique to you, and one that if you share it with somebody, they're going to understand it because maybe they understand it better from you than they would from a book or hearing somebody else that maybe they don't trust. And this is where we create lasting change because we start changing those in our environment, not that we're trying to inculcate them or do some sort of cultish thing, but rather by our presence. In chapter thirty two of my book, The Running Man, there is one on presence and leadership that has to do with how we self regulate. And the fact of the matter is that how we arrive, where we go into an environment, into a room, into a group, into a dyad, into let's say a park where there's lots of people, everybody's nervous system Responds to yours. My last podcast, episode 157, was about people feel your nervous system before they ever hear your words. Doesn't matter how influential and how polished your words might be, your body language is being read at such a distance that some people will either approach or avoid based on the feel they get, based on how they've read your body language. And what if you're saying things that they can't clearly hear, but the tonals are just off? You've probably heard people that have voices that are very, very irritating. I remember many years ago, uh Sam Kinison, the comedian, and he would do the screaming and the loud, and he had been uh minister at one point, but many people couldn't hear his stuff because his voice was so irritating to him. He was funny and he was kind of crass and he worked in blue. But uh the thing is, um, depending on the voice and the tones and the body language, those things determine whether or not we're going to be amenable to a message or even accepting of the opportunity to listen to somebody because we're not going to trust it if our body feels trust if we go into fight and flight. And they may have the best of messages and the best of intentions, but you won't be able to receive it because you're in the fight and flight mode. It's not so much a fault of theirs, but rather the fear within you that may prevent you from getting content knowledge that could be incredibly useful. But their unique perspective, their unique character, their unique delivery system, their own personalized insights might not be of use to you because the way it sounds and feels may not be comfy to you. So this is where we seek knowledge, what we search, where we learn how to become skillful, not only at the things that we do repetitively, but seeking out knowledge that's actually helpful to me. And once again, this is where we have to be very discerning, because not all knowledge is equal. And just because you have information in mass doesn't mean it's all good. You could be a junk collector and not know it. You don't want to be a junk collector. You want to collect those things that make us more skillful, more artful as if you want to say it that way, in the way we live. We want our life to be something that we're comfortable with, that we enjoy, that we're proud of, not just what we're doing as outcome. And look at me, I've got a degree, look at me, I've got a black belt, look at me, I've invented something, but much rather I want to be connected and I want to enjoy and have fun in situations that I can look back that make good memory, but that also give me a sense of comfort. So that way I don't feel one alone, two, isolated, three, so different that I can't relate, or start telling myself that I'm unrelatable. Those are belief systems that arise from stress. So these are some important ideas that we're kicking around today. And I say kicking around not to denigrate it in any way, but rather that is a metaphor for what? Whenever we kick something around, we're not really involved. It's an uninvolved action. Yeah, you might be tipping the can with your toe on the ground and just making it make noise, but how are you gonna make it get to where it's gotta go? Either you kick it really hard, more involvement, or two, you pick it up with your hand and look at it. Do I need to be kicking this? Oh, this is trash. I need to put in the trash can. And therefore, we start doing things that may be more personal in the sense that I'm deciding to not leave it on the ground. Find this place a little better than what I found in this place where I found that can, that's my life. And that's the metaphor. And I'm gonna put in the trash. I'm cleaning it up. And this is where our repetition and using what we're already skilled in to help support what we do, because you're not starting from zero. When you're learning a new skill, you've already learned how to learn skills. Now, was all of your learning, in quotes, all that's an absolute, isn't it? Be careful with that word, is not painful in all cases. Have we had learning experiences where we learned something painful because somebody criticized us? Or I did something like jumping with a bike on a ramp and then running into a tree, not realizing, wow, that wasn't enough runway. I've done some of that before. That might be part of partial to why um I think the way I do, I'd like to think I'm brilliant. I wasn't brilliant that day, that's for sure. But uh, all joking aside, we have a perspective that shifts as a result of stress, and it shapes how we believe in the moment, but also if we do that stressing enough, not that we're doing it by choice, but rather as a reaction or maybe I'm choosing to be in an environment that is stressful because I have this catch-22 wherever I'm responsible and accountable for the safety of my children, my wife, my husband, my family, or this sort of thing, and maybe to your job. And we have to be immersed in situations. We have to pay attention to this. Much of what we do is by choice, and much of our pain is self-chosen. And not so much that we like hurting, but rather by our obligations. And if we're duty born, and I am, um, or run from those things that are stressful, then we have realized a couple of things about how we approach stressful events and stressful things, maybe even interactions that aren't great for us. And what do we do whenever we know what our MO is, how my modus operandi approach avoid is? Well, we realize one that's really human, and it's not necessarily about honor or dishonor, but rather my level of stress and how I learn to deal with things. And if I learn that first, then that's an approach to creating change itself. And if we want long-lasting transformation, long-lasting shift that's enduring, we have to practice a very simple thing. One of the first things to get to embodied practice is realize how we interact with stress approach avoid. Once again, I mentioned that. What's the most fundamental to that? How we breathe. I've talked to so many people uh whenever I've done presentations and whatnot and teaching uh during holidays and how to alleviate stress, but also how to deal with um circumstances where we're running into behavioral crises in the professional sense, and uh we have to manage that and figure out what to do because we may be dealing with somebody that may be dangerous or somebody that could be endangering themselves, could be somebody um that is really angry and we can't get through to them because they are angry, and we have to be supportive. It may not be a violent thing, could turn violent, and we know that at any point in time we may have to call law enforcement, this sort of thing. That's not always fun, but we have to be of sound mind to be able to make those decisions while I am present with a situation that maybe I can't just run away from because I'm I'm bound by my duty or ethics or whatever. And uh this isn't always a professional thing, it could be at home. Wherever the Catch 22 is never written, is never scheduled, it's never spoken, it's just kind of assumed, and that assumption can kill people. We can stay stuck in a situation where you're not supposed to leave. I or I assume that you can't leave, and if somebody's acting violent and not letting you go, that can be a problematic thing, and you get into survival mode. There are a lot of things that we need to change as to how we read a situation, how we enter a situation, and how we can exit it in a safe way. And much of that falls into these three things, becoming more skillful with with dealing with high levels of stress or events that are very sudden and acute, and how do I get out of those safely? And that comes with content knowledge, step one, personalized insight. What do I do and how can I deal with this in a way that's best for me or those that are around me? And three, where we have embodied knowledge, what do I do without having to think so that way I don't have to fall prey to somebody's situation, especially if it's a really negative one. Now, that's a more extreme thing, but it's still applicable in that sense, depending on what knowledge we're talking about. And the idea is to limit the amount of negative stresses in our lives and encourage those really good ones, the ones that make good memories, the ones where we share with people, and even whenever we do things alone, wherever I can just sit back and smile and appreciate that. And that's the idea. So what we've covered today basically is how do we create transformation and shift and change that is enduring and long-lasting. And we covered the three steps content, knowledge, also personalized insight and the development of embodied knowledge. And um once again, the book Engage Compassion, wonderful. I would encourage you to seek it. And um, what I'd like to do is thank you for listening to this podcast today, this Sunday, probably a little after, no, it's almost noon, not quite noon yet. And I want to say thanks for patronage because the the book, uh, The Running Man, Resiliency in the Face of Fight or Flight, has been out for a couple weeks now. And uh, whenever I wrote this, um it was with the idea of getting this infrar information out because many people had experienced change and endurance shift and transformation as a result of the information that's in this book. And not only that, uh I want to tell you thanks because you've been listening to this podcast now for just over three years, and this podcast will continue because it's not only a growing project, and it is a project because we're always evolving the information, not adding information just because there's more that's coming out or new, but rather touching upon the foundational three things that we just talked about that Dr. Tenzin uh Neki mentions, but also what I mentioned in Running Man and and many other transformational models, that if you have these three things, that's where the change occurs. That's when it's gonna make the biggest difference. And and whenever you get better, you'll stay better, not just for longer, but in an endurance sense for the rest of your life would be a great idea. No promises, because that's up to you. Am I gonna practice and repeat this? Am I gonna do it till I see results? Because it's not anything that we get is gonna be the the silver bullet or the one-hit wonder. It's not magic that occurs, it's practice and skilled, embodied skill over time based on repetition. Simple, simple and easy easy, not so much. It's gonna take effort and energy, and that's okay. But the idea is that even whenever we have those repetitions that are clumsy or faltering, that is okay. The idea is to do it again. How many times have you seen a baby when they start learning to walk? And we get so used to getting praised for every step and every up and every down, but when we get older, we no longer get that, and everyone's attention is more so on the failures. We become a zero-sum player not meaning to. We're playing a game that we didn't agree to. Now, it doesn't mean don't try or don't do your best and don't repeat and get skillful. But whenever we talk to others, it's always from the perspective of, oh, I saw where you failed. But there's no, hey, did you enjoy the process? What'd you learn from this? And we have to shift our focus and our emphasis to the long-term enduring win in the sense that you're still in the game. And not necessarily in a dogged determined I'm falling apart and and my arms are falling off and my legs are falling off at the end of the ultra marathon like that. Don't mean that. What we want is to be able to endure and continue to develop quality of life and larger quantities in our lives so we can have a more joyous living environment. And that's what we want. It's never going to be ideal or perfect. Some of us live in very stressful environments. And we've learned how to overcome those things, but find the wisdom in that. Find the wisdom of how you've come to that point and learn to become that person that it is that you want to be. And you may think you are who you think you are, and that's the apex or the pinnacle. And I would say no, because if you're living a life, we always have the opportunity to change, to improve, to evolve, and to grow. So we're signing out for now. I want to tell you thank you. And if you have any feedback for me, please send it to the email at runningman get skillsproject at gmail. I'd love to hear from you. And certainly go to Amazon and patronize Amazon and send yourself to wherever my running man book is, the running man uh resiliency in the face of fight or flight available on Kindle and in print format. And tell me what you think about it. I think it'll help you a lot. And uh share it with people that you think can benefit. And I appreciate your time. Love you guys. Thank you. Walk well.