10 Things That Calm Your Nervous System (That Cost Absolutely Nothing)

Do you ever feel like improving your mental health means buying another supplement, downloading another app, or trying another wellness trend?

In this lighter and more personal episode of The Anxiety Compass, Sammy and Nat share 10 simple things that genuinely help calm their nervous systems...and every single one of them is completely free!

From cuddling pets and doing jigsaw puzzles to op-shopping (even without spending!), libraries, sunshine, gardening and comfort TV shows, we explore the surprisingly powerful ways our brains and bodies find safety, connection, and calm in everyday life.

Along the way, we unpack some of the science behind why these activities work, including:

•  Oxytocin and the power of connection 
•  How "flow states" help quiet an anxious mind 
•  Why familiarity and routine can feel so regulating 
•  The role of laughter, curiosity and pleasure in nervous system health 
•  Why sometimes the simplest interventions are the most powerful 

This episode is also a gentle reminder that healing doesn't always have to involve doing more. Sometimes, the answer is remembering what already makes you feel safe.

If you enjoyed this episode, we'd love you to follow, subscribe, and share The Anxiety Compass with someone who might need the reminder that sometimes the best medicine doesn't cost a thing. ❤️

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hey, it's Sammy and Natalie here, and welcome to the Anxiety Compass. Where anxiety isn't the enemy, it's our tour guide. We'll swap stories, share tools, and have a laugh while we find our way back to true north. Come along. Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode. How are you, Nat? I'm really good, Sammy. How are you, my love? I'm pretty good. I'm pretty good. Uh just about to go away on holidays, and we thought we'd do um a quick episode. We're gonna do something a little bit differently today. We actually spend so much time talking about supplements, nervous system regulation techniques, and things that we should be doing. Should I'm should, but what if some of the best tools to calm our nervous system cost absolutely nothing?

SPEAKER_01 0:59

What if yeah, I know, right? So we've each come up with five things that genuinely help regulate our own nervous systems. And we challenge you to think about what would be on your list after listening to our lists.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Yes, and I wonder if we have similar things on our list, Nat. So I've picked my five, and mine are like, you know, personal to me. But the number one, let's get let's get started, let's just get straight into it, shall we? Yeah. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:29

So I know the first thing that I go to, and I've been doing this since I was a little girl, without even realizing the thing that calms my nervous system down the most is snuggling dogs. I am a huge dog person if you if you don't realize that. And my go-to is snuggling mitus. And there's actually science behind it. So it increases the oxytocin in our body, which is our bonding hormone, um, helps to dampen the body's stress response. And petting animals, any kind of animals, has been shown to reduce your heart rate and blood pressure. And so even when I didn't have a dog, which was when I was younger, I was always still patting other people's dogs, my neighbor's dog. Um, even when I'm out and about without my dog, if I see someone else's dog, I will start talking to their dog. And it's like my whole nervous system just goes into this, ah, look at the little dog.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Uh it was in London a couple of years ago and I was in Hyde Park. I was literally just running around patting all these beautiful doggies.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Oh, I love that. It's definitely a thing. What's one of your go-tos? I'm assuming yours is one of those as well.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

No, yeah, well, actually, it's not. I did, I I did look at things, you know, because I'm a dog person too, I do love cats as well. But I just it wasn't in my top five. Maybe it's because I don't have a dog at the moment. I don't know. Maybe it is definitely in my top ten, absolutely. But for me right now, um, so we I talk about this all the time. Spending time in nature. So whether it's walking amongst the trees, sitting on the beach or by a body of water, I've always found that very calming. Or simply noticing the changing seasons. Um, that's one of the things I really miss about being, you know, down south in Canberra. Nature has a beautiful way of grounding me and bringing me back to the present moment. It always has done. And, you know, being in nature doesn't um just simply help us feel relaxed. I mean, we've talked about this before, that Shinrin yoku or forest baby. But research shows that time in green spaces can lower our cortisol, which is our primary stress hormone. It reduces activity in the brain regions associated with rumination and increases that parasympathetic rest and digest nervous system activity. Um, yeah. Yeah, so it reduces our blood pressure as well, our heart rate variability. It decreases activity in the amygdala, which is our brain's threat detection center. And it just improves our mood through that gentle increase in serotonin and dopamine.

SPEAKER_03 4:07

I am definitely with you on that one. It's not in my top five, but it's definitely there. I find it does the opposite of what technology does to your body.

unknown 4:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

When you're in technology, the amount of times you and I have got on and you're like, I hate technology.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Yeah, we've got a real tree.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Well, that's literally where I was just before we came on.

SPEAKER_03 4:31

I went and sat outside there in the sun on the grass. Oh my god. Well, my second one that I do all the time, because that was our first one. My second one is actually at the moment is jigsaw puzzles. And I funnily enough, I have a jigsaw puzzle on my table at the moment. And I said to my mum, because she is here working at the moment, I walked past and I'm like, oh, I can't wait to do my jigsaw puzzle tonight. I just got a dopamine hit looking at it. And she's like, oh my god. But puzzles actually they encourage focused attention. And I used to do this like when I couldn't meditate. I my form of meditation would be doing a puzzle, a jigsaw puzzle. It pulls you out of that rumination, like the constant thoughts, negative thought bubble that you can go around in, and it pulls you out of that cycle, um, creating a mild flow state where the brain becomes absorbed doing one task. And sometimes I find I get so absorbed in doing that that I actually lose track of time. And my hubby's like, what are we doing for dinner? And I'm like, Whoa, I started doing this puzzle at two o'clock. Is it dinner time already? And so, yeah, it it provides that sense of completion and control as well that your body's looking for for safety. So that's definitely one that I do. And I just love getting new puzzles from op shops and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

And yeah, and you can do puzzles of nature, you can intertwine the two puzzle of a well that flows really lovely into my second one, which is mindfulness, which is what you're doing as a form of mindfulness, but mindfulness meditation. Obviously, we talk about this all the time. I'm so passionate about it. I mean, I teach it, but you know, it really does help me to slow down. It is something that I've used for 25-30 years. Like I just love it. It helps me to breathe deeply, reconnecting with myself. And it's one of the most powerful ways that I know to create space amidst the noise of my everyday life. And of course, a regular mindfulness practice has been shown to you know reduce our cortisol production. Again, increase that parasympathetic nervous system activity. It improves our vagal tone via the activation of the vagus nerve through that slow diaphragmic breathing that we do during meditation. It increases the activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for our emotional regulation and decision making. It reduces activation again in the amygdala, leading to less reactivity to stress, and increases the levels of GABA, which is our, as we've talked about before, it's our primary calming neurotransmitter. And it also supports healthier, oh, healthy helps us um healthier serotonin and dopamine signaling associated with well-being and motivation.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

Yeah, there's a lot of things going on there that we need. We all need that bit of coding. Well, I find as well, like doing jigsaw puzzles is some form of mindful meditation for me. So I'm being mindful and looking for the pieces. Looking for the pieces. So my third one is actually uh watching reruns of friends. I absolutely love friends, and I know people are like, but you're watching TV, and it's like, no, if you watch something that's funny, familiar, um, it reduces that uncertainty and unpredictability. Your brain knows what's coming next and it feels safe. And so laughter in itself actually activates those relaxation pathways. So when you're sitting down watching a really great comedy, something that you love, and I tell you what, I just love they're actually science behind it with the show friends in particular. They did science behind that, and it actually, yeah. I I can't remember where I saw the study, but it was really interesting. Um, that particular show actually helps to reduce depression in in people. Um I'm not surprised at all. I love it. So that's one of my go-tos as well, is watching, and even I I've been watching Gilmore Girls as well, just watching really old um shows, but friends in particular.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

Yeah, but I love Gilmore Girls. I I used to love, I mean, I watched it when it was first out, but I used to love Dean, which then he's in supernatural. And of course, Dean is then um you know, um, in narrative, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

Oh, that's funny. But that's my third one, my go-to. I'll stick on old for friends reruns, and I just love them. I know what's coming and I get excited.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

Oh, I love it, love it. Yeah, I love Friends as well. It's such a fabulous show. You can watch it, I've watched it a 20 billion times and never get sick of it. So that's a really lovely one. Who's your favorite character? Oh, oh, see, I oscillate between all of them, depending on what mood I'm in. You know, I mean I always like I love Ross.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

It's just like I love Rachel, and I was like, I love Phoebe, it makes me laugh. Ross makes me laugh the most out of all of them.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

No, Ross is hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 9:39

The leather pants and the t with the tub on my okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Ross with his leather pants may not be beautiful. Um I mean, I'm a Leo, so I do love a bit of you know, um luxury around me. Um and I've always found like beautiful spaces, so fresh flowers, candles, crystals, meaningful objects. Um, that's lighting. I've always found that to be so beautiful and so calming and and very nourishing. Um, you know, creating a peaceful environment helps my nervous system to exhale.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

I love that. And me, I'm beautiful. You surround yourself with me as well.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

That's like being around you. And you know, the time behind that again, it it um activates that parasympathetic nervous system, increases our dopamine through the activation of the brain's reward pathways, as you were just mentioning, promotes feeling of safety, which helps shift the nervous system towards that parasympathetic dominance, and lowers our cognitive load by reducing environmental stresses and visual chaos. Yes. And it also encourages mindful attention and present moment awareness. Yeah, I mean, if you think about it, if you've got a candle or even a fireplace, or you're sitting outside around a fire, and you you do, you you can get into that like almost like a hypnotic state because you're just staring into the flame. I mean, that's why we actually flames. Yeah, I mean, that's a form of meditation. Is flame like candles, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

And and do you think it has the same effect when you use those fake candles, you know, the with the fake flame, not the same?

SPEAKER_01 11:46

No, maybe I don't think so.

SPEAKER_03 11:48

No, I like the crackling sound too.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Yeah, absolutely, yeah. That little popping, that really gentle little so, but yeah, it's just so just having that safe, harmonious, um, and predictable space around you.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

Oh, I'm gonna have to beautify my space, Nat. My space is full of guitars and dirty socks and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

You've got a house full of boys, it's really hard. But as we have talked about before in your Reiki, is just finding your own little little little place.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

I do, I need a place, I need a place. And my fourth one is one of those places that I go to to get away from the unharmonious house that I live in. Um, my fourth one is op shopping. I absolutely love op shopping. And whenever I step into an op shop, it's like all my worries disappear and I feel calm. And I just love, and it's not so much shopping. I mean, shopping is a form of uh, you know, it can calm out, it gives us that dopamine hit, but it's not always a good thing when we're spending money all the time. I don't even actually buy stuff half the time. I just like going into op shops, it encourages that curiosity and the novelty without the pressure, and so that keeps your attention anchored in the present environment because you're constantly right in the moment and looking at things so you're there. Um, and it gives you that small dopamine reward that you're seeking through discovery. And like I said before, I love I said geez, I'm getting old. I love walking through op shops and looking at puzzles. Like, oh look at this puzzle because you can get them for like two or three dollars. And I found a 5,000-piece puzzle in an op shop and it was unopened. I was so excited, and then I bought it and I took it home. I'm like, 5,000 pieces. My nervous system is no longer calm, it's too much. I'm not doing 5,000 is enough, not 5,000. So, yeah, definitely. Um, I love to and I love op shopping with friends um that enjoy op shopping too, because you get to show each other all the fun little things, and sometimes it's hilarious what you can find. So that's something I like to do. Yeah, yes, no, my son's branded a chicken, and you put eggs in it, and when you press its beak, it's the the the eggs come out, it's bum. So that was that was yeah, that's a very much a boy thing.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

So, well, my next one, it's two, but I've put it into one because I do they go hand in hand for me. So singing and dancing. Oh, yeah, definitely. I'm a former professional singer and dancer, so music has always been a part of my medicine since I was, you know, 12. Um, and singing and moving my body reconnects me with joy and freedom and the feeling of being alive, that aliveness. Yep. And it's actually some of the these two are some of the most powerful nervous system regulators that we actually have. You know, we can do this anywhere, sitting in the car, dancing around a car. I sing loud in the car. Yes, and and I dance, like you know, seeing me. Yeah, the acoustics are great in the shower. So everyone was.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

My neighbor heard me singing. My neighbor said heard me sing in the shower. And she came over for a drink one day and she said, Really like the song that you were singing the other day in the shower. I'm like, Oh my god, how embarrassing she can hear me singing in the shower.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

Yeah, that's pretty bad. Oh, that's cute though.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

Well, every time you're happy, you'll probably make her feel happy.

SPEAKER_00 15:37

You know.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

So, but yeah, so singing, if I break these two down, singing stimulates the vagus nerve through that prolonged exhalation and the vibration of the vocal cords. It encourages slower, deeper breathing, which naturally increases that parasympathetic activity. It's been associated with increased oxytocin, that hormone involved in social bonding and feelings of safety, and can reduce our cortisol levels after relatively short periods of singing, so only a few minutes, and it activates it straight away and reduces things. And then the dancing increases the dopamine, supporting motivation, reward, and pleasure. It releases endorphins, which is our body's natural pain-relieving and mood-enhancing chemicals. It improves our singing and interrogating. Yes, absolutely. I literally tell all my patients, like, you need to sing and dance through the shop. Yeah, I do. I'm I've always been to dance. Yeah, I know I dance in supermarket aisles. I'm like, I'm embarrassing to go shopping with. So um, so it also increases, um, strengthens that brain-body connection through because it improves it improves our proprioception and teroception. It helps complete that body's natural stress um response through rhythmic movement. You know, we've talked about this before, yeah, referring back to Dr. Peter Levine and his findings around um trauma and being able to shake it off. So literally being able to, you know, dance out any stress that we have and supports neuroplasticity by integrating movement, rhythm, memory, and emotion.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

Oh, look at that. Yeah, it's just so many things. I love it. You've put a lot of thought into the science behind yours. I'm just like, Lola Bros. He's great.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

I've become the science person in this podcast, so I need to keep hold that. There's no pressure.

SPEAKER_03 17:39

That's so funny. Um anyway, I'm gonna continue on with my shit. My last one, my fifth one, and this is something that I have been doing um for a while now. It's another way to get out of the house and get myself in my car mode. Um, I love going to libraries. And you know, I'm gonna overshare here, but when I was younger, whenever I went to a library, I'd need to go and do a number two. It was like my whole body was like, calm, and I'd have to rush to the toilet. I know I don't do that now. So if you see me in a library, I'm not gonna be running to the toilet. Um, but libraries are naturally low stimulation environments. And sometimes you walk into a library, and because I'm quite a loud person at times, we all know that. Um, but I I I love the softness and the quietness, and it's like my body's like, shh, slow down, shh. Um, and finding a space in there, even just reading, like not so much in the library, but reading as well can reduce stress levels significantly. I mean, it depends what you're reading. I mean, if you're reading a Stephen King novel before you go to bed, probably not so much. But if you're reading something that's calming, like it's gonna create a sense of calm and possibility. I mean, if you're reading something that like I love reading Di Morrissey books as well, she goes all over the world and travels in her books, and it just it brings that sense of joy as well. So uh definitely something that I do is is reading or or listening to a podcast, if that's your thing. I mean, not a podcast, an audiobook. Um, but I think reading is probably gonna do more of a bring more of a calm space in a library or by a tree. Who knows? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

Now I did my five five uh items before I actually read what yours were, Sammy. And you're not gonna believe it. Uh this is why we're friends. Mine was, one of mine was reading. Ah, so we should just hang out and read together. Yeah, so I mean, so I literally rearranged it so that mine was this of the thing. I'd have to when you mentioned it.

SPEAKER_03 19:48

So you just steal my thunder. Stealing my thunder. Are you gonna talk more on the science behind it and stay and upstage me?

SPEAKER_01 19:57

I'm not gonna upstage you, but no, I'm just yeah. Because I mean, I ever since I was a little girl, uh, books have been my sanctuary. You know, sometimes there was a lot of stress, and that was my escapism. It was it was a way to calm myself down. And um immersing myself in a story gives my mind permission to rest and my imagination um room to breathe, which is so lovely. Yeah. When we become immersed in a story, yeah, the brain enters that uh enters a state that psychologists call um narrative transportation, which is where attention shifts away from our own worries and into another world. So there's actually a word for it, you know, or two words for it. That's that it's a it's a whole thing, officially. It's a thing. But yes, it's a thing. It really does. I mean, it just it does all the things that we've already talked about. Physiological models.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

What I need to do is I need to sing my books out loud and dance while I'm holding my dog in the library. Yep. And and I've just kind of spanned out in nature in a while Friends is playing in the background.

SPEAKER_00 21:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

You know, you can dance to the theme song from Friends. I could totally dance. I used to love that song. Like, I mean, I've you you probably weren't old enough to re well you may have. Yeah, no, I'm not that young. No, but you're 10 years younger, and I was in my early 20s, so you would have been early. But yes, the remembrance, isn't it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

Singing, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:34

The remembrance.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

So the things that Matt and I have shared, they're just simple things that we often overlook. Like so many times we're doing things to really bring joy and calm our nervous system down. We just need to do more of that. And why do we think regulation has to be so expensive and overcomplicated? Like, we're all talking about going to retreats and I need to do this, and I need to take this supplement, and I need to do this, and I should be doing that. It's like you really don't have to do that much. Like, find what brings you joy and like haven't have a never-ending puzzle table, and just whenever you're feeling a bit go and sit down for half an hour and do a jigsaw puzzle. There's just so many things. We've been so disconnected. Yeah. And we've been so disconnected from what genuinely makes us feel safe now. And these are things that I do. It's like your body knows what it wants. The anxiety compass, it tells you what it wants. Listen, what does it need? Does it need to go for a dance? Go and hang out with your friends and laugh. So, do you want to throw a reflective question out before we go now? I think we'll do a short and sweet episode. Yep, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

So, if someone took away all of your supplements, your self-help books, your podcasts, and coping strategies tomorrow tomorrow, what are three simple free things that you would naturally return to that help you feel most like yourself? Because maybe the answer isn't always adding more. Sometimes it's literally just remembering what it is that makes us feel safe.

SPEAKER_03 23:09

Yeah, before we forgot. Yeah, that's so true. So true. I'm really looking forward to snuggling on the couch and doing my puzzle with my dog tonight and finding space. Like there's always going to be something to do, right? And we need to allow ourselves to break free from that and um let our bodies feel calm again and safe.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Absolutely. It's this tonight. I'll be running my meditation class in the mindful hub, my membership. Ah, yeah. And we've got a full moon tonight. So, yeah, you guys are going to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 23:40

Oh, yeah, there you go. Yeah, tonight's crazy will be out. Stay off the roads. All right, love you, Leah. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for joining us on the Anxiety Compass.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

If you love this episode, share it with a friend who needs a little laugh and low calm. We'll see you in the next one. Keep following your true norm.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

Disclaimer time. Sammy and Natalie may be clinical nutritionists, but we're not your personal doctors. What you're here is for learning and laughing. Not diagnosing or prescribing. If things feel bigger than you, call your doctor or local support.