Somatic Healing for Wellness-Focused Women

(#65) Stop Energetic Leaks: How to Set Clear Boundaries & Reclaim Your Energy

• Rae The Somatic Coach • Episode 65

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Are you feeling drained by subtle energy leaks in your relationships and daily commitments? In this episode, Rae uncovers the hidden factors behind energetic leaks and offers actionable strategies to protect your personal energy through clear boundary-setting and somatic practices. Tune in to discover how to:

  • Identify subtle signs of energetic leaks that leave you feeling depleted
  • Recognize the impact of over-giving in relationships and work environments
  • Understand the critical role of setting personal boundaries to safeguard your energy
  • Implement effective strategies to reclaim your time and vitality
  • Utilize somatic practices that empower you to shield and recharge your energy
  • Learn techniques for regularly checking in with your energy levels for lasting balance

Join Rae as she shares personal insights and practical tips to help you stop energy drains and build healthier, more empowering boundaries so that you can live a more energized, balanced life.

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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Radiant Life Podcast. I'm your host, rae, the Somatic Coach, and I'm here to support you in healing your past, living in the present and creating your future so that you can become the most centered, embodied and happiest version of yourself. Each week, I'll be bringing you episodes to help you navigate life's challenges, ease stress and tension and learn more about holistic healing, spirituality and wellness. If you're interested in becoming the best version of yourself so that you can live the life of your dreams, then you're in the right place. Subscribe to the podcast and the monthly newsletter, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok to know when new episodes are released each week. I am so happy that you've landed here. Let's dive in. Welcome back to the podcast. If you are new here, I'm Rae, I'm a somatic coach and breathwork facilitator, and if you aren't new here, welcome back. I'm so glad that you're tuning in for today's episode, for today we're going to just dive right into the material. I have no front desk item announcements that I can think of, and yeah, so we're just going to dive right in. So today we will be chatting about energetic leaks, and the reason why I chose this topic is because, when it comes to doing boundary work, there's going to be things that come up where you're like oh, is this serving me or is this not serving me? And that can come up in so many different areas and oftentimes with energetic leaks. They are subtle. It's subtle ways that you give away your time, your attention, your energy, even your emotional capacity, without even realizing it. That's why they're leaks. They're like these, like little holes that we like don't know what's going on and then over time, eventually we end up feeling depleted. So it's a little bit nuanced and different than setting like a conscious boundary, because oftentimes these are unconscious habits or patterns that drain us over time. And similar to the snowball effect that I always talk about with breath work, where I'm like oh, if you do five minutes of breath work a day, it adds up over time and your nervous system will thank you for that because it's going to be able to resource from a different place. This is the similar, a similar thing where over time it has a snowball effect and because of that, instead of expanded nervous system regulation and capacity and window of tolerance, you end up with things like burnout, resentment or just a loss of your personal autonomy. You end up kind of like, there's like, or just a loss of your personal autonomy. You end up kind of like there's like, this sense of like, oh like things feel a little out of your control and I've been there, trust me. These are things that we all navigate and just bringing more awareness to these topics, I think I broke it out in a good way, because there are just like so many different ways that we could feel different energetically.

Speaker 1:

So I tried to break it down in a way that would feel understandable. So hopefully I did that today. But typically your body will feel it before your mind realizes what's going on. So this could look like constantly feeling exhausted, feeling frustrated, feeling overwhelmed, having a lot of tension in your body or things just generally feeling a bit off. So there are a few different ways and common ways that we can have energetic leaks, and the first is in our relationships. So this could be romantic relationships, friendships, platonic like it could be anything.

Speaker 1:

And I will share a little bit of a story and I'm always, like, conscious of what I'm sharing on the podcast. I try not to, like you know, talk about things that are like I'm trying, I'm not. I'm not trying to talk about badly about any of my previous relationships, so, but I do want to share this one story that I think will help to put into context around energetic leaks. So I was. This was like years ago I was seeing this guy and we were dating for about a year and it basically turned into that situation where one person in a relationship is just totally over giving and receiving nothing in return. And I remember there was this moment where my family was like, uh, what were we doing? It was like a family dinner or something like that. Like my family was getting dinner and this person was supposed to come and his excuse was that he was cleaning out his fridge. Swear to god, that was his excuse. He said, oh, I can't come to dinner, I'm cleaning out my fridge. And that was the end of the relationship. I was like, are you effing kidding me? Sorry, I don't curse on the podcast, but that that needed one, that needed one.

Speaker 1:

So you can find this in relationships over giving, energetic leaks, things that are just not serving you, and what happens in relationships over time is that resentment builds. You could be replaying old arguments in your head. You could be over analyzing text. So this is where, like, anxiety comes into play. You could be trying to fix other people's problems, so taking things on as your own to solve when they're not. It's not your side of the street, and I'll get into that in a minute but you can only take care of what's yours to take care of. You can't do it for two people in any relationship friendship or romantic. You could be constantly feeling exhausted after spending time with certain people and again you could be in a one-sided relationship. So what I would suggest you to do is again check in with your body when you are in this relationship. Is your chest feeling tight? Are you finding yourself in a lot of mental spirals? Are you generally feeling unsafe? Are you carrying around something that needs to be healed or solved that isn't yours to heal? It is not your material to work with. And I'll share another little story here.

Speaker 1:

When I went this past October so October of 2024, I did a breathwork facilitator training in California, which was awesome. It was my first time in LA. I had a lot of fun and I think it was like I don't know if it was the first day or the second day I was there, I can't remember, but on one of the days I basically had this moment in a breathwork session where I started like physically moving my hands and like pushing away energy and I had this realization that there was a lot of stuff that wasn't mine to process, that I was trying to process, and it was just the most cathartic like biggest shift. It was probably my biggest shift that I took away from that weekend because it just wasn't my material, and that's a really great feeling, like you end up feeling lighter and you end up feeling more expanded and you end up feeling like freer in your body.

Speaker 1:

So energetic leaks can again. They're unconscious, they're things that we're taking on, that we don't necessarily have awareness around, and so that's what I was doing. I was trying to metabolize and work through some stuff that wasn't mine to work through and check in with your body. So check in with your body when you're with certain people, when you're doing certain things. Is it energizing, is it giving you energy or is it depleting your energy? Which brings me to that phrase that I had said a minute ago, which is you can only clean up your side of the street. You can't clean up the whole road. You can't take on everything for everybody and try and clean up everything. You can only take ownership for what's yours, and that might look like having more direct conversations, which builds off of the last two episodes around boundaries and communication. It could look like learning to pause, so taking a second to pause. What's mine, what's going on for me here in my world, in my experience Not necessarily for the other person checking in with yourself and you can also use different energetic release practices, so that could look like breath work, that could look like somatic shaking EFT tapping is great for release and that will help you to discharge any emotional energy that's not yours.

Speaker 1:

The other place that energetic leaks can show up is with our time, and so this shows up if you are the go-to yes person for everything, so you are the person that is there for advice, for help, for last minute favors. You're the person that everyone wants you to cover for them. When they call out of work, it is you and you are the never-ending well of giving away your time. But your time is important, it's your time, it's your energy, and your energy is your life force. Energy and your breath is your life force. And yeah, so notice how your body feels. Are you feeling resentful or regretful from saying yes too quickly? And if you are again, use the pause. You can pause. You can say let me get back to you. Protect your time for what truly restores you and that doesn't mean like there's nuance here. Obviously you're going to show up like for your friends and your family and and work and things like that.

Speaker 1:

We're talking about overgiving. We're talking about overextending energetic leaks, time leaks, things that are not serving you because you're constantly giving away your time. Notice how it feels in your body when you are being too overgiving and maybe even regretful of saying yes too quickly, and you can say, instead of saying yes, you can say oh, let me get back to you, I'll get right back to you. Give me a few minutes and check in with your body. See if it's something that feels aligned for you to say yes to. So we've been talking about energetic leaks in terms of relationships and time leaks, but, generally speaking, if you are leaking your energy through over giving or even shrinking like, like trying to um contract to feel more safe, these are a few things that you can do.

Speaker 1:

So the first is protect your energy, strengthen your boundaries, learn what your personal capacity is and learn to say no as a complete sentence, and you can also track your energy throughout the day, so that could look like checking in with yourself. You could even like journal or keep whether it's like a physical journal or using like the notes section of your phone, if have an aura ring that also can tell you like your stress levels. And I saw this one, I saw this one meme where it was like the emojis of all of the different emotions that women feel throughout the day. And it's true, like we feel like so many different emotions and so many different things throughout the day. So check in with yourself throughout the day and you can also check in with yourself at the end of the day and do like kind of like an end of the day reflection to see how your energy has been feeling throughout the day, like what added to it, what depleted it. Get more familiar with your personal capacity, capacity and, as you're getting more in touch with your personal capacity, notice what feels tense, notice what feels open and expansive and, again, be intentional with your time. So own your personal energy. Say yes when that feels aligned and say nope, I can't manage that, or not right now, when that feels good too.

Speaker 1:

So three somatic practices that are great for energetic leaks. The first is allowing yourself to call all of your energy back to you. So this can look like visualizing a golden light coming back into your body and visualizing your aura around you. And then, as you're visualizing your aura around you, you can see, you can visualize are there any holes in your aura, in your energy, that need to be patched up? And give yourself the time to, kind of like, mend each of these holes, mend each one and patch up your space.

Speaker 1:

The second thing you can do is somatic shaking. So this is something that you see a lot in nature with different animals. If something happens, if two animals get into like a fight, or one is chasing the other or anything like that, you'll see at the end of it the animal will shake their body, like frantically, they're going to shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, because that's what's helping them shake off and regulate, re-regulate to their normal pattern, their normal way of being. And then the third is imagining a bubble of protection around you. So this could be like an energetic bubble of protection, and this is something that's there to do exactly that. So it's there to protect you from anything externally. Nothing can come into your personal protection bubble. That is yours and it's going to keep you separate from anything externally and anything internally that is there to help you feel protected and safe.

Speaker 1:

And then the last one I'll mention is also from the Mel Robbins Let them Theory book and her whole theory around let them, let me is definitely applicable here. It's something that, if you are struggling with any kind of energetic leak or giving your energy away towards something externally that's out of your control, you can apply the let them, which means many different things if you read the whole book, but to summarize in this uh setting, it means let them have their reaction, let them do what they need to do. You know, let them do their thing and let me be in control of what's in my control. So what is in my control? My thoughts, my energy, my boundaries, how I speak, how I be, things like that. So let them and let me All right.

Speaker 1:

So, to recap today's episode, we chatted about energetic leaks. We chatted about energetic leaks. We chatted about how they show up in different relationships, uh, how they show up with different time commitments and a bunch of different things that you can do to track and protect your own energy, and also some somatic practices that are supportive for that as well. So thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. If you have any questions, if you want to chat about anything that came up, you just send me a DM or an email and I'm happy to chat. So I hope that you have an incredible rest of your day, an incredible rest of your week, and I will talk to you soon.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. If you were moved or inspired, please share with me by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. It means the world to me and I am so appreciative for your support in helping my podcast grow. If we aren't already connected on social media, head over to Instagram and TikTok and follow me at raythesemiticoach. Make sure you check out the show notes of today's episode for links to freebies, opportunities to work with me and ways we can stay connected outside of the podcast. I'm so happy that you're here and I can now wait to talk with you on our next episode of the Radiant Life podcast.