Somatic Healing for Wellness-Focused Women

(#87) Nervous System Regulation Through Connection: Self, Relationships & Breathwork

• Rae The Somatic Coach • Episode 87

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Today, we’re diving into one of the most powerful tools for nervous system regulation: connection. Whether it’s the way you relate to yourself, your community, or your breath, connection can be deeply regulating… or dysregulating.

This episode breaks down the 3 forms of connection that support somatic healing and personal growth: Connection to Self, Others, & Your Breath

This episode is for you if you're:
✨ Feeling overwhelmed or disconnected
✨ Wanting to deepen your relationship with your breath, body, or loved ones
✨ Exploring somatic practices for nervous system regulation
✨ A therapist, coach, healer, or highly sensitive person seeking more ease

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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the podcast. If you are new here, I'm Rae, I'm a somatic coach and breathwork facilitator, and if you aren't new here, welcome back. I'm so glad that you're tuning in for today's episode. Today's episode is number 87 and I am so pumped that we're almost to 100 episodes. I can't believe it. When I first started, I was super nervous to have a podcast to speak to, kind of just like be my authentic self online again, and now I've really grown to absolutely love this part of what I do. I think it's so much fun, I think it's exciting, it's a good creative outlet for me and I am just so grateful for every single person that tunes in each week. And yeah, so thank you so much for being here, and we'll definitely do some kind of giveaway or something for episode 100, but we're a little ways away from that.

Speaker 1:

So today I want to speak with you about connection, and connection in a few different forms, and why it's so important and how connection in itself can be regulating it could be dysregulating for our nervous systems. So I broke it down into three different forms of connection and then I'll speak to each one a little bit. So the first one is really the connection that you have with yourself. So you are the one that you spend the most of your time with, right, like every day. We are with ourselves and you are the one that's in your mind, in your body, in your soul, in your energy. It is all you and so really fostering this connection with ourselves that feels wholesome and feels positive and feels strong. So what is the connection to yourself like? Does it feel strong? Does it feel open, fluid, kind? Maybe it doesn't so much, and that's something that you want to strengthen or work on, and what helps you to feel super regulated in your relationship with yourself. So some things that I find that strengthen that sense of safety in like being with myself and often times with my clients as well journaling, breath work, even reading I've been like absolutely loving that. But spending time alone with you and feeling like that's fun and that that's okay and something that I absolutely love. That I think really strengthens the connection with yourself. And finding that clarity and really building that self-trust is having clarity around your core values and what your vision is, and from there you can have clarity around your goals and it's just something that really brings a sense of your own version of success, your own version of creating your life, and you're really building also on that quality of self-leadership. So that's something that I think definitely strengthens the connection that you have with yourself.

Speaker 1:

And recently I was watching a YouTube video of another podcast called the Diary of a CEO, and Vanessa Van Edwards was on it, and she talks about how people have three different stories that they tell themselves, and people usually fall into one of these three categories. So the first one is the hero's journey. So that's really telling your story, the story that you tell yourself of like your life as one that is empowering, one that has overcome hardship. The second is a victim story. So that's kind of the opposite of the hero's journey. Things have been hard, they're always hard, they're not getting any better. And then the third is the story of a healer. So you're here to give back, you're here to serve, you're here to make an impact. So out of those three stories of how you connect with yourself and the story that you tell yourself about yourself, which one lands the most for you?

Speaker 1:

The second form of connection that I'd love to speak with you about is connection with others, our relationships, connection with other people. So are there people in your life that really give you energy, they empower you, they help you to feel uplifted, to feel good about yourself. And are there people in your life that maybe drain your energy, that aren't as supportive or maybe it's not the most positive relationship? And are there people in the middle, maybe somewhere in between? Our relationships have such a large impact on our happiness, on our stress levels, on our anxiety. They can be a source of empowerment and safety and they can also be a source of stress and overwhelm and fear. So what are the relationships like in your life with other people and what does your nervous system need when it comes to balancing that time alone and that idea of regulating, self-regulating and also balancing time with other people and feeling that like co-regulation with other people?

Speaker 1:

There is a documentary on Netflix about the blue zone regions around the world by David Buettner, and he found that, of all the research he did, there was nine things that were in common with each blue zone region, and there was, I believe there was, five regions. So I'm just going to run through all nine things quickly. But the first was eating a mostly whole food, plant-based diet, so about 65% plant-based. Developing a purpose and focusing on it was number two. Number three was participating in a daily ritual to reduce stress, so that might look like prayer Prayer. The fourth was drinking a little bit of alcohol each day, which was mostly homemade wine. The fifth was using unconscious strategies to keep them from overeating. So this wasn't things that they were doing consciously, but it looked like having no electronics in the kitchen, so no TVs or phones, and eating their heavier meals earlier in the day. The sixth was belonging to some sort of faith, so that's really religion-based. And then the last three.

Speaker 1:

That's kind of where the point of this share is going. What number were we up to Seven? So number seven they prioritize families, so they take care of their family members, and oftentimes that means that, like, multiple generations are living under one roof. Number eight they invest in their relationships, so that looks like long-term marriages, lower, uh, divorce rates, really fostering all kinds of like very intimate relationships in their life. And the last one is number nine they pay a lot of attention to their immediate social circle, so they have strong friendships. So the reason why I share this is because of the nine things that he discovered. One third of these things are focused on relationships with other people, and you could even argue something like religion, belonging to a faith or even developing a purpose that those usually come with some sense of community. So you could even argue maybe it's five, but one third of these things are focused on relationships with other people. So this sense of connection, it helps with reducing our anxiety, reducing our stress level, creating more happiness, bringing more joy and purpose into our lives. And then the last part or form of connection that I want to mention may not be what you're expecting, but it does kind of build off.

Speaker 1:

Number one connection to the self, but it's a little bit different, and that is connecting to your breath and the mind body connection. So connecting with your breath. For me, initially, what comes to mind for me, because obviously I'm a breathwork facilitator, is breathwork. And what's interesting about breathwork is it has the ability to uplift your energy and be almost like an espresso shot in the morning. And it can also be this like super gentle way to self-regulate release emotion cry. It can be good for you know, clearing any stuck energy, clearing any blocks, becoming more creative, being more connected to joy. So there's so much that can happen just from the practice of breathwork. But the actual connection to your breath, like outside of a breathwork session or something like that. I mean, you always have your connection to your breath. You can always pause 30 seconds, take a breath. So, yeah, what is your connection with your breath like? Have you tried breathwork before? There's so many different types and have you found one that you like or enjoy? And, like I mentioned, you can always pause and breathe and boom.

Speaker 1:

Connected to your breath. The connection to your breath, it is what I like to call the connection to your life force, energy. It is the first thing we receive when we come into the world and the last thing that we'll let go of when we leave this plane. And if you want to, you know, enhance that connection to yourself, like the first thing that we were talking about, connection to self. Or if you want to create stronger relationships in your life, connections to others, your breath will support you in doing both of those things in some way, whether it's opening up your heart and fostering those relationships and making them deeper relationships, if it's letting go of resentment, if it's yet being more creative and enhancing that connection with yourself. I mean, there's so many possibilities, but having a strong connection to your breath and using it in a way that feels really good for you will absolutely be a form of self-regulation.

Speaker 1:

And then, when it comes to that mind-body connection, when I first started working with anxiety I had never heard of I had no idea what the mind-body connection was or what it meant. It wasn't until I really discovered working in the realm of somatics and my mind was blown because I understood that this idea of the mind-body connection felt so different for me and felt so different being in my body, I was able to understand the information that my anxiety was providing me with. I was able to not spend as much time in my head, and what I find interesting about this is that you can often hear it in two ways. Like, some people think that a thought comes first and that influences the body, and others think that the body is reacting to something which creates the thought. So I think with the mind-body connection, they're you know, they're interchangeable. Um, they're both important and they kind of are dynamic in the sense that they work together.

Speaker 1:

I personally use what's called like a bottom-up approach to access the mind. So that means, like starting in the body, starting, you know, creating a sense of safety in the body and then using that to access the mind and work with reframing and get to the you know work with all of those thoughts that are in the mind, but typically I do start in the body. But both influence each other and both are super important. So, yeah, what is your relationship to your mind-body connection? Does it feel true for you? Does one feel louder than the other?

Speaker 1:

And I think some ways to enhance this connection, like, if you want to strengthen the mind-body connection, definitely all sorts of mindfulness practices, sensation, awareness in the body, inner child work, breath work and ultimately, really creating safety in your experience, to feel safe in your body. I think that is foundational, that's really important, and I think that's also why I love the work that I do as much as I do, because the feeling and the connection that the mind-body brings to everyday life, it's something that it's like a new way of thinking, it's a new perspective, it's a new approach and I think that has really helped me and helped my clients tremendously, and so that is what I have for you for today's episode. So, quick recap we talked about the connection to self, we talked about the connection to others and relationships, and we talked about the connection to your breath and the mind-body connection as well. So I hope that today's episode was supportive for you and if you would like access to a free resource library of meditation and breathwork practices resource library of meditation and breathwork practices you can sign up for that through the somatic healing newsletter in the show notes. So you, when you sign up, you get access to what's called Breathe Easy, and it's this growing resource library that I add to every once in a while. So, yeah, I hope that you have an incredible rest of your week. I hope that you have an incredible rest of your day and I will talk to you soon.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for being here and tuning in to Somatic Healing for Wellness Focused Women podcast. If you were moved or inspired by today's episode, please take a moment to leave a rating and review on Apple podcasts. It truly helps the podcast grow and helps more people find me on their healing journey. Make sure to check out the show notes to sign up for the monthly newsletter, links to more resources, opportunities to work with me and ways that we can stay connected. If we aren't already connected on social media, head over to Instagram to follow me at raythesomaticcoach. Send me a DM. I'd love to connect with you and I answer each note that comes in. I am so happy you're here and I cannot wait to talk with you on our next episode of the podcast.