Somatic Healing for Wellness-Focused Women

(#97) Somatic Healing for Grief: Nervous System Support for Loss & Transition

• Rae The Somatic Coach • Episode 97

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In this heartfelt episode of Somatic Healing for Wellness-Focused Women, Rae opens her new mini-series on grief, trauma, and somatic healing by exploring the body-based experience of grief and how to move through loss with compassion and awareness.

Building on her powerful workshop at Transcend Fest, Rae shares her own journey with grief and offers supportive insights for anyone navigating loss, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a breakup, a career change, or grieving an older version of yourself.

You’ll learn how grief can manifest physically (tightness in the chest, exhaustion, numbness, stomach issues), why these sensations arise, and how to work with your nervous system instead of against it. Rae also shares gentle somatic tools, like breathwork, supportive body postures, and self-compassion practices, that help your body metabolize emotions rather than suppress them.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, honor your own process, and remember that grief is not something to “fix,” but a sacred journey of feeling and healing.

🌸 In this episode, you’ll discover:

  • How grief shows up in the body beyond loss of a loved one
  • The nervous system’s response to grief, trauma, and change
  • Somatic practices to support emotional release (like legs-up-the-wall + hand-to-heart)
  • How to offer yourself compassion while navigating difficult emotions
  • Why grief work is a sacred, powerful part of your healing path

💌 Sign up for the Somatic Healing Newsletter to access Rae’s free resource library of breathwork + meditation practices.

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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome back to the podcast. If you are new here, I'm Ray. I'm a somatic coach and breathwork facilitator. And if you aren't new here, welcome back. I'm so glad that you are tuning in for today's episode. So just recently, a few weeks ago, I taught at Transcend Fest in Middlefield, Connecticut, and it was so much fun. I was teaching a class on somatic breath work for release, for moving through grief, and letting go, and then also some sound healing to work with those emotions as well. So it was a pretty big class. I think there was about probably between like 60 or 70 people there, and that's definitely the most that I've taught in front of. And so I was a bit nervous, but once I got started, I felt a lot better. And overall, I think the class went really well. I got a lot of like really nice feedback and some incredible shares. I got to meet amazing people that came to the class that I taught. And I also had a lot of fun uh going to a few other classes as well. So I went to a sound healing class. I rode the ski lift to the top of the mountain and took uh walked around up there, and then I took a hullooping class, which was so much fun. Um, that was definitely a highlight for me. And I made some friends. Like literally, the the minute that I got there on Friday, um, I went for like an opening cacao ceremony, dancing, music, and within like five seconds, I made a friend. Um, and it was so fun. So overall, just like a really awesome experience, lots of different emotions, fun, nerves, teaching, networking, making friends, um, got to meet just some really incredible people. And building off of that class, and also a podcast listener had previously reached out to me recently about uh talking about grief and trauma and how to work with both of these, both of these things. So I thought that I would put together a little short series about grief and trauma and working with the body and healing through the body. And so today's episode will be the first of this series. I think it's gonna be a three-part series, but I haven't completely finalized the third episode. So we'll see how this one goes and the next one goes, and then we'll kind of go from there. But um, yeah, that's what today's episode is gonna be all about, covering like the somatic experience of grief. And this is definitely a tender topic, so you know, trigger wording. Um, and definitely, yeah, like check in with your body and like your capacity, and if this is something that you even want to kind of dive into right now. Um, it's a tender topic talking about grief and loss. And I've definitely had my um personal experiences with this emotion, and so I've experienced lots of different forms of grief over my life. The biggest moment definitely being um in 2015 when I lost an immediate family member in my family, and that would begin about seven consecutive years of losing someone in my family, uh, whether that was like a grandparent or you know, something like that. So grief can definitely also show up in so many ways. It doesn't necessarily have to be around loss. So it's not just when someone passes away. You can grieve old relationships, uh, breakups, changing jobs, even uh changes that were in your control, like getting a new job, or ones that were out of your control. Um, so it can really look different for everyone. Grief can also come up when you when you versions of yourself change. So like different initiations of life, whether that's like becoming a parent or becoming a partner, a spouse, like you can grieve different um versions of who you once were. And so I think that's also like a nuance of of grief. And I will even say for myself, like planning out this episode and going for a walk this morning. I went for like a 30-minute walk and like an hour bike ride, um, there was a bit of resistance for me of even just like talking about this topic because it is so near and dear to my heart. And I do help so many people navigate grief. And so wherever you are on that journey, whether it's something that you're in the midst of or something that you know maybe feels a little bit more distant, um, wherever you are, just know that it all gets to be here and however you're showing up is exactly right. So diving in a little bit about what the somatic experience of grief can look like. And this will look different for everybody, but it can show up as like experiencing tightness in your chest, it can look like a loss of appetite, it can look like a feeling of heaviness, um, a feeling of emotion that's kind of either something that is coming through where you're able to release it, like it's lots of crying or release. And also it can look like feeling like you can't release, like you know that something's there, it's like a heaviness, but it it won't come out. So these aren't things that you know need to be fixed or changed. It's the way that the body is processing, and that's okay. It's uncomfortable, but that you know, our body is gonna do what it needs to do in order to metabolize an emotion. And so what happens is in these moments of loss, the body can interpret it as a threat to our safety, and it can, you know, manifest as physical pain, um, stomach issues, nausea, insomnia, feeling exhausted, feeling restless, feeling numb, disassociating. Uh, so there's really no right or wrong way for grief to show up. It's such a wide spectrum. And yeah, like I mentioned, it's a super uncomfortable experience. Uh, but when we try to resist the experience because it's uncomfortable, it can get confusing because it is so layered. And there could be, you know, so many different emotions present at once, which can also be really overwhelming. Um, I always like to say that like when you're experiencing some kind of like anxiety attack or panic attack, some usually it's because there is such a flood of feeling and such a flood of emotions, and they're all so like different that it's overwhelming and your body just gets like flooded. And then it's like if uh if there was like a bottle, uh, like a pot of boiling water, the the water may have been like pitter pattering before, but something happens, we experience something, and then it goes from being like boiling to like blowing the lid off. And so I just like to name that, I like to use that analogy, I find it helpful uh when just like talking about what it can feel like in the body, and when we do get those like big releases, and that can be yeah, really challenging and uncomfortable. And when working with an emotion like grief and you know, deep sadness, sorrow, um there can be pressure from outside people, pressure from society, uh, you know, just even like being in public um to be like moving on or like processing at a certain pace. Um I know for like myself, when I was really moving through a lot of grief, um, I was, you know, working in an office setting at that time. And so thank God I had my own office because I could just like close the door if I needed to like cry or like, you know, process in some way. I was a big fan of like going to the bathroom and like crying in the bathroom if you have to, um, depending on, you know, what's coming up for you. I don't think that's necessarily like bad or wrong. Um, I think for me it was helpful because I was like letting it out in that time of just like so much like grief and sadness. Um, and I remember it was about like a year, maybe like a year and a half after uh my dad had passed away and I went to Europe with my family. And I was there with one of my friends, and so like I brought a friend with me to travel with my family. And um we're in our hotel room, and I'm like super like irritated, and I don't really know why. And I realized that because I was with my friend, it was like the first time in like a year and a half that I hadn't cried every day. Like I was crying every day, I was crying in my car, I was crying in the bathroom, I was crying in my office, closing the door. Like I was literally just crying so much. But because I was with somebody and with my friend, I didn't have I felt like I didn't have that time to just kind of like let it out. And so it was an interesting experience to even like have that awareness because at the time I didn't even realize that I was doing that. Um, but yeah, suppressing an emotion can often feel even more painful. So, you know, the body knows what it needs to heal. Um, it's not something that needs to be like fixed, it's something that needs to be felt. And so when working with the body, like really allowing it to release and move in whatever way feels good for you, um is is exactly right. So, some other ways that you could really allow emotion to move through you, I find when it comes to grief, is putting uh if you were to like lay on the floor and putting your legs up against the wall. So like your your your body is kind of in the shape of an L and your legs are up against the wall. And allow yourself to lay in this position and breathe and allow yourself to like be with the emotion of what's coming up. Um, you can place one hand on your heart, one hand on your heart and the other on your belly, or both hands on your heart. Um, and yeah, again, allowing yourself to be with that emotion. And then a few things that I would love to kind of bring into the conversation and remind ourselves of when we're moving through these like harder emotions is really allowing yourself to be compassionate towards yourself when you're working with grief. It is uh such a tender experience. And just the other day, I was talking with a mentor of mine and she said something that really landed with me. And she said, if you're doing grief work, you are on like a sacred journey. And that really stuck with me. And if you are on that path right now where you are working through grief or loss, or um, you know, maybe you're not in the in it, the midst of it, or maybe you are, um, you know, I really feel for you, and just like keep putting one foot in front of the other. And so that is what we have for today's episode. Thank you so much for tuning in. If this topic resonates with you, definitely let me know. Send me a DM, send me an email. Um, next week we'll be talking a bit about grief and trauma and the nervous system as well. And yeah, wherever you are on this journey, you know, allowing yourself to be in it without judgment and with lots of compassion. And yeah, I hope that you have an incredible rest of your day. I hope you have an incredible rest of your week, and I will talk to you soon. Thank you for being here and tuning in to Somatic Healing for Wellness Focused Women Podcast. If you were moved or inspired by today's episode, please take a moment to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. It truly helps the podcast grow and helps more people find me on their healing journey. Make sure to check out the show notes to sign up for the monthly newsletter, links to more resources, opportunities to work with me, and ways that we can stay connected. If we aren't already connected on social media, head over to Instagram to follow me at Ray the Somatic Coach. Send me a DM. I'd love to connect with you, and I answer each note that comes in. I am so happy you're here, and I cannot wait to talk with you on our next episode of the podcast.