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The Hearts Hello
Welcome to The Hearts Hello, where we believe our hearts are the foundation of our well-being and happiness. Our hearts hold the key to unlocking a life of purpose, meaning, and fulfillment, as they are the very essence of our being. We aim to uncover the secrets of a heart-centered life through authentic conversations, inspiring stories, and practical advice. We discuss the importance of emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and self-awareness in developing a healthy and vibrant heart. Additionally, we explore the role of vulnerability, empathy, and connection in building meaningful relationships and positively impacting the world. Join us on this journey of self-discovery and transformation as we awaken the heart and rediscover what truly matters. We'll use personal experiences and expert insights to explore the vital role of emotional and mental well-being in caring for our souls. Together, let's create a world where the heart is at the center of everything we do and where love, empathy, and kindness are the guiding principles. Let's learn to listen to our hearts, honor their voice, and live a life that aligns with our deepest values and aspirations. When the heart matters, everything else falls into place.
The Hearts Hello
Embracing Authenticity: From Childhood Hiding to True Self-Liberation
What if the game of hide-and-go-seek from our childhood still influences the way we navigate our adult lives? Join me, Keona Talana, as I share a poignant personal memory of seeking refuge in my father's closet during my parents' divorce, and how that hiding place became symbolic of the emotional barriers we construct as adults. Together, we unravel how unresolved childhood experiences can lead us to conceal our true selves due to fears of judgment or past traumas. By reflecting on these patterns, we explore the journey of healing and breaking free from unfulfilling cycles, allowing us to live with authenticity and courage.
Our conversation continues with a powerful call to embrace our true identities and foster genuine connections. Discover the importance of expressing our emotions, dreams, and unique personalities without fear of societal pressures or rejection. By standing confidently in our authenticity, we not only enrich our personal growth but also inspire others to do the same. This episode challenges us to stop hiding behind self-imposed limitations and step into our true roles in the world. Listen in for hope, encouragement, and transformative testimonies that celebrate the courage to be vulnerable and authentic.
Hey Heart Seekers, welcome to the Hearts Hello Show, where our hearts are the foundation of our well-being and happiness. I am your host, kiana Talena. Do you all remember that we used to play hide-and-go-seek? For everyone who is in my age group, hide-and-go-seek was the game. We just knew that we had the best hiding spot. No one was ever going to find us and if they did, we just knew that they were peaking as they were counting. So guess what? Today I want us to play hide and go seek, virtually right, because we're not together. So I'm going to count to five and in your mind, I want you to go in high Ready. Ok, one, two, three, four, five. Where did you just go? Where did you go in your mind? Because I know that you're smiling I know you went to a place in your mind where you used to play this game and this was your spot.
Speaker 1:Now I need you to think about how we play hide and go seek now, as adults gifts, we have these talents, we have things that have transpired in our lives and we are still playing these childish games instead of standing 10 foot down, 10 toes down, I should say not 10 foot, 10 toes down in who we are. But why is it that we don't? Why is it that we are afraid to stand on business? Why is it that we are afraid to be bold and courageous and to show up as the person that we have been created to be? Well, sometimes it's just we're afraid of what people may say about us. We are afraid of the fear or the opinions of other people. We are afraid of what may come up when we show up as the true and authentic version of ourselves. But today, as we played this game of hide and go seek, some of you all actually went to a hiding spot.
Speaker 1:So let me tell you, just for me, it brought up something, because I actually did go and hide, not physically today, but when my parents divorced, I would always go and sit in this closet. Course, I would always go and sit in this closet. Now, I'm not playing hide and go seek with anyone, but I figured that if I go sit in this closet, that things will mysteriously be the way that they used to be, and it wasn't that I was going to sit in the closet of both my mom and dad. I would go and sit in my dad's closet, and so he was the one that left. So I'm going, I'm sitting there because I'm feeling this void and I remember that his things were there and I'm just hoping and sitting in this space, remembering and having all of these memories of him being here. So that was my hiding spot. I would sit there and take my sunflower seeds and just be in this closet by myself.
Speaker 1:And so I oftentimes find, even now, being able to seclude myself when life is lifing, when I just don't have the right answers to what is going on, and so I will begin to block people out and it's like well, why? Who am I hiding from? What is it that I don't want other people to know? And so I think that when we begin to stand ten toes down in who we are and to show up as the true and authentic version of ourselves, no matter what anyone may say, we are OK with them, knowing exactly what we have been through, because guess what? It has already transpired and we are living proof that we can stand here and be bold and courageous about being authentic. That we can stand here and be bold and courageous about being authentic, see, when you take yourself back to that place where that childhood plays. And this is why healing that little girl and healing that little boy is so important, and a good therapist will take you back to each of these moments where you've had to grow but yet you are still stuck. See, my therapist had to take me back to eight-year-old Kiana. My therapist had to take me back to every time that there was some traumatic experience so that I can go and heal little me.
Speaker 1:But we want to show up and be and attempt to be who we are not when we have not dealt with those childhood wounds. And so that means we are playing hide and go seek with who we pretend to be. We are playing hide and go seek with our gifts. We are playing hide and go seek with our purpose. We are playing hide and go seek because you have not had the opportunity to go back and heal that little girl and little boy. But today I'm here to break those chains off because I believe that, as we are walking out this authentic version of ourselves and we are going through life, that it is going to be imperative that you show up and be who it is that you are called to be.
Speaker 1:See, most of the time people talk about, you know, getting into relationships and it's like, well, why does this relationship look like the last relationship? Why? Because you haven't healed that version of yourself, so you keep attracting the same thing, the same thing. Same thing applies when you don't heal that version of yourself. You keep pretending to be something that you are not and then get pissed off when the same thing continues to happen. I'm raising my hand because I have seen how it shows up in my life, how the habits and the patterns show up when you don't take the necessary time to deal with that person.
Speaker 1:See, we have to begin to be real with ourselves as we are going through this adventure called life, because what will happen is you will continue to show up and then be mad because it's not the way that you thought that it was going to turn out to be, and not saying that every situation is going to turn out to be perfect, because it's not. But when you have shown up as your true and authentic version of you, you can deal with that a little better. So I need us to stop playing hide and go seek. Playtime is over. We are no longer having recess, we are no longer going outside and swinging on the swings. We are no longer in that place, although you can still go outside and play. I'm not saying that, but what I'm saying is playtime in this stage of your life is over, because the consequences are great when you haven't addressed those things that are constantly showing up in your life.
Speaker 1:When you begin to push back all of those memories that you don't necessarily want to deal with, at some point they will bubble up and you are going to have to deal with them. Either you will become a pressure cooker or you will begin to sit and sulk in your own misery and you're trying to figure out. Why is it that you feel anxious? Why is it that you're feeling this way? Well, it's because you have all of these things bottled up inside of you that you have yet to deal with that little girl, and that little boy is crying out, waiting on you to show up and come back and heal them. So are you just going to continue to act like you don't hear that cry? Are you going to continue to act like life is just amazing and you are going through it? You're not.
Speaker 1:You have begun to tell yourself this lie over and over and over again, whereas now this lie has become your truth. This lie has become your reality and at some point you can no longer sustain the lie. The lie begins to get heavy, you begin to lose sleep, you begin to forget the lie that you told yourself yesterday, and now you have to create another lie. So now it's just compounding, compounding. But I said already that today is the day that we are going to break those chains off of that lie.
Speaker 1:Today is the day that you are no longer going to stand and count yourself into hiding, because you were not counted out. You were counted in the minute that you were birthed into this world. You were uniquely made. You were uniquely made for a time such as this, and so now is your time. Now is your time for you to walk in your purpose. Now is your time for you to understand exactly who you are, because the world is waiting on you. The world cannot find you if you are hiding. The world cannot find you if you don't want to open your mouth and speak up for yourself.
Speaker 1:So I need you, I need us to come out of hiding, to come out of those hiding spots. I need you and us to no longer shrink and disguise the true selves of who we have been called to be, because that is who people are attracted to. They're not attracted to your life. See, most of the time when you say, oh, people have fallen off. Well, they've fallen off because they have now recognized that the person that they thought you were you're not. People are attracted to who you show up as, and so if you are showing up as a lie, they're going to show up and think that that's who you are, and then you realize, as you continue to grow, that those people are no longer around you because they showed up to a version of you that was never you. Yes, there are going to be some people that you outgrow, just because growth happens and everyone can't go with you on this journey. But then there are going to be some people who just can't rock with you because they thought you were one person but then you turned out to be someone else and now you're conflicting with who they truly are If they are showing up as their authentic version of themselves. So today I'm breaking that off. Today we are breaking that off and the common hiding spots that most people have, that most people try to disguise.
Speaker 1:One is going to be their voice. So you begin to stay silent in conversations and meetings to avoid conflict or judgment. That was me. I hate arguing. I'm the person where, if I begin to argue, at some point, I'm going to cry, because now, for me, I have become angry. I didn't understand how to effectively communicate. I didn't understand how important my voice was. I didn't understand how important my voice was, and so, instead of me being able to vocalize how I feel, I became silent. I began to hold back my opinions, my ideas, my feelings because of my fear of being misunderstood or criticized. And sometimes that comes from people in your life who don't know how to deal with you See, when you begin to show up as the true and authentic version of yourself and you have been someone else for so long when that person begins to emerge, they don't know how to deal with that, because they're used to dealing with the person that's not going to say anything or act as if everything is okay. And then there are just some people who are just mean. Regardless of how you feel, it's always about them. And to those people, you need to leave them where they be, let them stand where they are. But I am not an arguer. If you argue with me, I'm going to shut down, I'm going to look at you and I'm going to let you have a conversation with yourself, because I can't engage in that energy and also realizing that just because I don't engage, that does not mean that I'm going to voice that I didn't like how you said. That mean that I'm going to voice that I didn't like how you said that this made me feel. And we have to get to a place where we begin to say I feel this is how this made me feel, because your feelings are true. The person may not like it, but it's your feeling. So we can no longer stay silent in our voice. Speak up for you, because no one else is going to speak up for you if you don't.
Speaker 1:The second place that we begin to disguise our true selves is in our dreams and aspirations. So not sharing your goals and desires because you feel like they're too big or unrealistic or that you're unworthy is a lie from the pit of hell. See, you have been settling for safe and your options to avoid the vulnerability of trying and potentially failing. You have made up in your mind that this is the case. Oh, you don't have the money. Oh, this is too big. Oh, how am I going to do this? How am I? You have already told yourself that you are going to fail before you have started, so you can't talk about oh, this person won't let me win, no, boo, you won't let you win, so let's let that go.
Speaker 1:The third way that people disguise themselves or hide is the authentic personality. So you trying to pretend to be someone just to fit into some societal or cultural or familial expectations at some point is exhausting. So now you have hidden your quirks, you've hidden the humor, all of the things that make you you, and you feel like, oh, I don't want to be too much, be too much because the people who love you will love you too much. The fourth way is emotions Burying your feelings, like your sadness, your anger and even your joy sometimes, because you fear it as being weak or dramatic or self-centered. So what do you do? Dramatic or self-centered? So what do you do? You begin to smile through your pain and brushing off compliments to maintain a facade of your strength. It is okay to be sad, it is okay to be angry, it is okay, but you just don't stay there. Feel your feels and don't allow anyone to just kind of brush off your feelings. They are valid and you don't have to smile through the pain.
Speaker 1:I was just having this conversation with my best friend yesterday when I said to someone that I was mentally tired and the person asked me well, oh, do you want to talk about it? Not to you, not saying that I didn't want to express how I was feeling, but I often have to realize that I can't express how I'm feeling to everyone, because not everyone can handle that weight. The weight of being me can be heavy at times, and so if you aren't built that way, what is it that you can say to me? What is it that you can say to me? How is it that you're going to help walk me through it? Because I'm a solution-based person. I don't want to just discuss what the problem is. Help me come up with a solution. What is the strategy to help get through it? So it's okay to express your emotions and also realizing that not everyone can handle your emotions, so being mindful just of who you share it with, and that's why having a therapist is important, because that's their job to handle every emotion that you give to them.
Speaker 1:The fifth thing is going to be relationships. So we begin to stay in unfulfilling and toxic relationships to avoid being alone, judged or judged for leaving. Avoid being alone, judged or judged for leaving. There is so much that I want to unpack here my gosh, but not in this episode. What I will say is you don't have to explain why to anyone. How you feel is going to be valid, and so if you are in a toxic relationship, you wanting to get out is the validity that is needed. That's it. You don't have to sit and talk about what happened when. No, because that, most of the time, is why people get stuck in trying to have to explain what happened. Why is it that you don't want to be here? If you don't want to be here, then you just don't. Relationships you begin to avoid being vulnerable with your connections and just keeping people at arm's length to protect you from rejection or abandonment or whatever your issues may be.
Speaker 1:The sixth way failures and flaws, concealing your mistakes and your weaknesses to appear perfect or capable. You're not perfect. No one is Only God. So you're thinking that you can hide the fact that you're not perfect. We see it. Yes, I know sometimes that things may be falling apart in the home and you come out and you're trying to fake this smile, but at some point it begins to crack. So you're fearing being transparent and it leads you to struggle with the shame and the diminished respect that you may or may not feel. You don't know, but guess what? You don't owe them an explanation. Don't know, but guess what? You don't owe them an explanation.
Speaker 1:The third thing that people try to downplay is their success and talents, your achievements, while you're trying to avoid making others uncomfortable or being labeled as arrogant. You worked hard for that success. You worked hard for those talents. So you hiding your gifts and talents because the fear of what they may say or expectations that may come with them. Come on y'all that may come with them. Come on y'all.
Speaker 1:There are so many things and so many places that we try to hide. Try to hide body and appearance, try to hide true beliefs and values, try to hide the needs and boundaries, try to hide your childhood wounds. Try to hide. But we have to break that off today. And so, just like I asked you to go and hide today at the beginning of this episode, go and hide today. At the beginning of this episode, I counted to five and you went ahead, but instead of anyone going to find you, I just need you to come out of your hiding spot. I need you to be bold enough to come out of wherever you have been hiding. I need you to be bold enough to stand in your true identity. I need you to be courageous enough to be you, because when you were born, you were already created with everything that you need down on the inside. And even when you just think about how we were created from a sperm and an egg and somehow, in that process, we came out with our two legs, our two arms, a head, heart, all of these things that create this body. And so you're telling me that you're waiting on someone else to validate you Again, I'm going to tell you that it is a lie from the pit of hell and that you're going to have to walk yourself out of it on your own.
Speaker 1:This is not a two person job. This is a one person job. When I say one person is because God resides on the inside of us. So when you move, guess what? He's moving and he's waiting for us to do the work. But you're going to have to recognize that the only playground that is with us right now is what's in between our ears, which is our mind, which is our thoughts, and you're going to have to decide that you don't want to go to recess, that you don't want to allow someone else the control over your mind.
Speaker 1:You're going to have to begin to tell yourself that you are worthy enough to be able to stand 10 toes down in who you are, as they say, standing on business. Stand on who you are, stand on God's word and who he created you to be, because you were that from the very beginning and you are still that. You are that person. You were chosen to be here. You were called to be here for a time such as this, and there are other people waiting on you to show up and be the true and authentic version of yourself.
Speaker 1:You are the one to pull them out. You have a story that needs to be told. You are the one that needs to write the book. You are the one that needs to start the business. You are the one that needs to show up at your job and to give a different perspective. You are the voice.
Speaker 1:But will you answer the call or will you continue to just go high?
Speaker 1:So I'm hoping and I'm praying that you have made the decision today, that today will be the last day that you will run and hide from who you truly are, that you will run and hide from who you truly are because you have the key to being able to come out of hiding, understanding that those hiding spots are a reflection and reflect on where they are holding you back.
Speaker 1:See, your decision to come out is a powerful step forward to become aware of how and why you need to show up fully and to remember that you are not alone in feeling this way. So I just want to thank you yet again for joining me for another adventure of the Hearts. Hello Show, come out of hiding. Today is your last day to count yourself into a hiding spot. I can't wait to hear the testimonies. I can't wait for you to send me the email of how this changed your life and changed the lives of those around you. So I just want to congratulate you and thank you again for showing up, being vulnerable enough, being honest enough to know that you are worth it. All. Right Bye.