The Hearts Hello

Letting go of The Look Back

• Keona Ellerbe • Season 2 • Episode 18

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Have you ever felt weighed down by the past, unable to move forward? On the Hearts Hello Show, we tackle this profound question through the lens of faith and reflection. Join me, Keona Talana, as we explore how the story of Lot's wife offers a powerful metaphor for letting go of the 'coulda, woulda, shouldas' that often hold us back. This episode promises to uncover the wisdom in faith and obedience, encouraging us to trust the uncertain path ahead with renewed purpose. We'll share transformative practices like journaling and gratitude, essential tools for personal growth and creating a vision for the future. 

Embark on a journey of authenticity and continuous self-improvement, where embracing your true self and acknowledging imperfections are key. By focusing on genuine connections and making small, consistent efforts, we can become better versions of ourselves—not just for personal fulfillment, but for those around us. We'll discuss how to break free from past constraints, trust in a higher plan, and live in the present. It's an inspiring conversation that challenges you to reflect on what you need to release and how to step confidently into your future. Join us, and learn how to move forward with faith and authenticity.

Speaker 1:

Hey, heart Seekers, welcome to the Hearts Hello Show, where our hearts are the foundation of our well-being and happiness. I am your host, kiana Talena. I don't know about you all, but this year has completely flown by and there is no way, shape, form or fashion that we should be talking about entering into a new year in a couple of weeks. About entering into a new year in a couple of weeks, I can't say that I'm saddened by this year leaving because I don't know about you all, but it has been a lesson after lesson, after lesson, after lesson, and I'll take the lessons because I know that there is greater on the other side of it, but it has been a heck of a year. But it also ties right into what this episode is going to be about. See, sometimes we are so stuck in looking back over our lives that it causes us to be focused on there and not focused on where we're getting ready to go. See, sometimes we have to make sure that we are not stuck in this daydream of the coulda, woulda shouldas of our lives, because when you are so focused in on where it is that you've been, you no longer have your eyes set and focused on where you're getting ready to go, and the there is the prize. Right now you're here and you want to make sure that you are intentional about being present in your moments, but ultimately you are going somewhere. All of the things that we are doing, all of the action steps that we're taking, all of this and trying to make sure that we are showing up and being our true and authentic selves is because we know that there is going to be greater. We know that there is something more down on the inside of us that is pushing us towards our purpose. There is something down on the inside of us that is pushing us towards our passion. There is something down on the inside of us that is pushing us towards our passion. There is something down on the inside of us that knows that we can create a life that we desire and deserve, and so there's always a there. But when you're so focused on where you have been, you end up being stuck in that place, and I don't want you to be stuck in your look back. See, I want us to think about.

Speaker 1:

For those of you all who are familiar with the Bible story of Lot's wife, there's so much that you can just take from that story. See, they were visited or the husband was visited by an angel and the angel warned them that there is going to be destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah those of you all who know what was going on in Sodom and Gomorrah there was a lot going on back then. So they were given the instruction or I should say Lot was given the instruction by the angel to take himself, his wife and their daughters to leave immediately and not look back as they fled. Those were their instructions. So in the lesson there's obedience, there's faith and there's danger. In looking back, see as they were to gather all of their belongings. There was comfortability there, there was knowing that. This is where all of my friends are.

Speaker 1:

I'm just thinking about, if you visualize, what could have been going through their mind, because that's just like us, when we hear the voice of God and we're trying to figure it all out, we have questions. Well, why should I do this? Well, when I leave, what's going to happen? Well, what if? Well, I mean if I, just if I stay a little longer than what's going to happen. See, when you're given a instructions on what to do, sometimes you may not understand it all, but you have to be able to move forward.

Speaker 1:

And so, with the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, there was. God rained down fire and brimstone on these cities and again, lot and his family fled towards a new town and was spared. But what happened with Lot, lot's wife? What happened with Lot's wife? Despite the clear command to not look back, she turned back and was staring at the destruction of Sodom and she turned into a pillar of salt. Now, mind you, they were given the instruction to flee I'm sparing your family. You don't always have to know why, but just know that your family will be spared. Your only instruction, basically, what God was saying is trust me. Instruction, basically, what God was saying is trust me, trust me that I'm sparing your family and your only job is to not look back at what it is that I'm doing. Why are you focused in on the destruction that I'm raining down on this city when I have spared you and your family's life? Spare you and your family's life.

Speaker 1:

See, oftentimes, when we are looking back on things in our lives, what is it that you can change? Nothing. You end up getting stuck in your head about, daydreaming about the woulda, shoulda, woulda, couldas, and there is nothing you can do about that, and there is nothing you can do about that. So when we're thinking about this story and the symbolism from just the lessons alone, there was disobedience See, lot's wife looked back, which represented disobedience to God because there was a direct command. It suggests her attachment to her past life. She's thinking my friends are here, my home is there, and even though they were living in a sinful city, she would rather trust her past than to trust God. And although they were given this instruction, there was a there's a consequence, sometimes for just our hesitation. So her turning into a pillar of salt is symbolizing the consequences that sometimes, when you're clinging onto your past, it's failing to move forward with God's call. And then, if nothing else, the lesson of faith.

Speaker 1:

See, this story emphasizes the need to obey God's instructions and to have faith in his guidance. And even when the future is uncertain, we have to trust and believe. So what exactly does this have to do with our life? Just think about it. Think about all of the times that you have contemplated, second guessed, didn't move as fast on what you clearly heard from God to do in your life, and then oftentimes we're trying to figure out. Well, god, are you not hearing me? Can you not hear my cries? Do you not see all of this stuff that's going on? And God was like well, you didn't even follow the instructions that I gave you.

Speaker 1:

For some of you all, there are instructions to start books, or instructions to start businesses, to write books, to switch your careers, to go back to school, to get out of this dull relationship. But you're comfortable with where you are, and so you ask God for all of these things. And then you begin to question God why is it that you're not showing up? And he's like well, I gave you clear instruction that you don't want to follow. And I know in this message this is not my typical message to you all where it's more scripture based, more spiritually based, but I need us to understand that sometimes, when you're stuck in your look back, that's where you're stuck and it's hard for you to focus in on where it is that you want to go, because in your mind you're now replaying your woulda, couldas, shouldas. I wish I Well, if I do, none of that stuff matters anymore, because there's nothing that you can change about the past. Change about the past. And I'm going to just tell you what are some of those areas that people get stuck in their look back, past relationships, your romantic partners, and you're just like I think I lost that one. It's hard for me to let that go.

Speaker 1:

Friendships that drifted apart, family connections that are strained or severed. You feel like you've missed opportunities, your career path, business ventures, education, mistakes, failures, poor decisions that have led to personal or financial loss. Moments of hurt, financial loss, moments of hurt, former success, glory days in sports, school, career achievements, just your comfort and security, your familiarity, your home, community, environment. Some of you all have been called to move, to change your zip code, but you are so afraid of who you're going to leave behind your youthfulness, the energy and freedom that you had of your younger years. You're not there anymore. Them knees are hurting, you feel it when you get out the bed. You're not there anymore and sometimes it can be those painful memories, the loss of a loved one, traumas and hardships, and heartbreak and betrayal, old habits, behaviors, routines that you feel like you've given up or that you still miss, and it may just be your spiritual disconnect.

Speaker 1:

There have been times that you are closer, you have been closer to God, and you feel like God. I don't know if you hear me, do you see me, I'm waving, and so there are a lot of things that we tend to look back on and not focused in on where it is being present in our here. But then also, realizing that you're here now is getting ready to take you to your there. Everything behind you, you there. There's nothing that we can go back and change. That is the whole point of us being able to recognize where we are, who we are, and shift our mindset to become our most authentic version of ourselves. See, even if you're looking back at moments in your life were you showing up as you or were you someone else? Either way, there's nothing that you can do about that. So I need us to be focused on where we are now and where it is that we're getting ready to go on where we are now and where it is that we're getting ready to go. I know that there have been times that you and myself have been thinking about well, if I only could have done it differently, or just being able to find myself replaying moments in my head, wishing that I can go back, wishing that I can go back. But, to be honest, all of those things have created you and I to be who we are today.

Speaker 1:

Even if we're just looking at the story of Lot's wife, there's disobedience. There's disobedience, there's a lack of faith. Although she was being spared her and her family, their lives were being spared she still was unsure and just had to look back at what was what her life was being spared from not just her, her, her husband, her daughters and so I don't want us to be so stuck in the look back. Yes, I understand that reflection helps us grow, but sometimes it does stop us from being able to move forward. So I want us today to focus in on where we are right now. I've said it before be where your feet are.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes you have to just be able to look down and realize that you're not in your present moment because you're so far focused on where it is that you're getting ready to go that you forget that there are experience in the moments that we're in right now. There's laughter in the moments that we're in right now. There is joy in the moment that we're in right now, and so when you are laser focused on where it is that you're going, you forget all of what's going on around you, and it's part of those experiences that create and shape us to who we are, especially when we are being intentional about being the best version of ourselves. See, if you're really honest with yourself, even in those moments during your past, were you who you thought you were past? Were you who you thought you were as you are doing this work now and revealing your true self to you? Were you the true version of you? No, so I understand that there's the nostalgia of being able to kind of look back, and sometimes it may just even there may be some guilt emotions that are tied to it.

Speaker 1:

But I need you to sever those chains and I say chains because they are keeping you stuck in your past. You're trying to run forward and you're trying to figure out. Why is it that it's hard for me to get to the next level? Well, because you're tethered to your past. So the question that I ask of you today is what's one thing you keep looking back on and how does it make you feel? How does it make you feel? Is it anything that you can do about it? No, so let's focus in on where we are now looking back. It's not. There's a difference between just, you know, glancing back or but to stay focused on where you've come from. It keeps you in paralysis. So you begin to ask well, what if I fail again? If it's, you're staying in toxic cycles? Well, it wasn't that bad, was it, if it was a missed opportunity. What if this doesn't work out like the last time? Tethered to your past, we have to break the cycles. And in order for us to break the cycles, we have to break the cycles. And in order for us to break the cycles, we have to break the chains.

Speaker 1:

So, again, I said I never said that you could not reflect sometimes, because reflection can be healthy, but not when you are so focused in where it's. You're feeling like there was something that was missed. Because, as I said at the top of this episode, even for this year, we're getting ready to go into a brand new year. There were so many lessons that I learned from this year. So healthy reflection looks like learning from your past. It looks like finding gratitude from the lessons and moving forward with the wisdom that you gained from those lessons. See, those are the things that don't keep you stuck when you realize that there, oh, there was a lesson in that. Not, oh, man, I wish I could have stayed in that. No, what was the lesson that I needed to learn. What were the characteristics of that? If it's a relationship that I needed to learn to stay away from, if it was recognizing the red flags, whatever it was, if it was being in a career knowing that that's not where you needed to be, it's recognizing the lesson so that you don't do that again. But if there's a fixation on constantly reliving and holding on to your past, there's no growth in that.

Speaker 1:

So, when we're thinking about healthy reflection, you want to make sure that you're journaling to process your past experiences. You want to make sure that you're seeking therapy or a coach so that you can work through those unresolved emotions. You want to make sure that you are practicing gratitude for both the good and the bad moments. Again, there are lessons in everything that we go through in life, and all of those things get us to a place where we are moving forward without needing to look back. See, we have to be able to acknowledge and release, and in our acknowledging and release, that means that we are accepting what happens and we have decided to let go. We have to begin to shift our focus and create a vision for the future so that we can take those small steps forward, and I've already said it before that we have to make sure that we are staying present, being where our feet are. We have to practice that mindfulness and that gratitude for the nail and as we do that, we begin to incorporate those spiritual elements and being able to trust in God's plan and his promises for our future. Just like with Lot's wife, where they were called to escape to a better place, we are called to move forward, being able to leave behind what no longer serves us.

Speaker 1:

So, again, I want to make sure that we are in a place where recognizing that looking back can remind us of where we have been, but it can't define where we're going. We have to choose to learn, grow and trust in our journey ahead, and so I want to be able to encourage you to reflect on one thing that you have been holding on to and to take the step to release it this week, because in being able to release, that is going to allow you to free your hands up, to be able to free you from the chains that have been holding, you have been tethering you to your past. Again, I want you to remember the story of Lot. I want you to remember they didn't even give her a name, just said that she's Lot's wife, and we know that she was turned to a pillar of salt because of her disobedience. But it did not have to be that way. She could have been saved and on the other side, and on the other side, free from destruction, with her family, but she just had to see what was going on, and so I don't want that to be you.

Speaker 1:

I don't want you to be in a place of disobedience. I want you to be in a place where you can operate from faith and know that when you are moving forward, that you are taking where you are now and you're here to. You're there. The goal is the there, but also to be present in your here. So I'm excited because I know that we are all working towards a common goal.

Speaker 1:

We are all trying to make sure that we are the authentic and being true to ourselves. We are all trying to be that best version of us, not just for ourselves, but for everyone that is attached to us is attached to us, because as we go, as we are obedient, as we are moving in faith, those who are attached to us also move in that same space. So when we think about as we're moving. Think about your family that's coming with you. If you don't have any children at this time, or if you're unmarried, think about, as you're moving forward, your family that's coming with you. Your future family that's coming with you. Your future success that's coming with you. The best version of you that's coming with you. All of that's there.

Speaker 1:

So, as we think about that, as we reflect on where we are now, let's make sure that we are showing up as the best and true and authentic version of ourselves, and also remembering that there are going to be times when we don't always get it right, and that's okay, because we know that life is a journey. But it's our goal each and every day to just get a tad bit better. And as long as we can do that each and every day, show up to be our true and authentic selves and to be just a tad bit better each and every day, we have accomplished our goal. So I thank you for joining me for yet another adventure of the Hearts Hello Show. For yet another adventure of the Hearts, hello Show, where we show up as being authentic, we show up as being vulnerable, we show up as being the true version of ourselves. So until next episode, bye.