The Hearts Hello

Radical Responsibility

• Keona Ellerbe • Season 2 • Episode 26

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Unlock the secret to transforming your life by embracing the power of radical responsibility. What if taking full ownership of your actions could shift you from feeling like a victim to becoming the creator of your own destiny? Join me, Keona Talana, on The Hearts Hello Show as we embark on a journey to explore how acknowledging our roles in various scenarios empowers us to break free from blame and victimhood. You’ll discover how embracing accountability not only accelerates personal growth but also strengthens relationships through improved communication and quicker resolution of conflicts. Together, we'll identify common barriers like fear of being wrong and ego, and learn strategies to overcome them.

As we navigate this transformative journey, we'll discuss the concept of empowered ownership and how it propels us toward our highest selves. By integrating feedback without defensiveness and trusting ourselves to make empowered choices, we can lead by example and inspire change. I invite you to reflect on areas in your life where blame holds you back and encourage you to start owning your actions. Share your insights and join the conversation as we strive to become the best versions of ourselves, reclaiming our power and fostering personal growth. Let’s take the first step towards a life of empowerment and responsibility together.

Speaker 1:

Hey HeartSeekers, welcome to the Hearts Hello Show, where our hearts are the foundation of our well-being and happiness. I am your host, kiana Talena. In this episode, we are going to be talking about why taking 100% responsibility changes everything. Last month, we dove into the power of boldness, and so, for the next four weeks, I'm hoping that you are going to journey with me as we talk about responsibility, as we talk about that A word that no one wants to focus in on, which is accountability.

Speaker 1:

I believe that when we begin to focus in on what part we played in a scenario, things begin to shift. Things begin to look differently in our lives, because now we're not just looking at how someone else played a part in the scenario, we're looking at our piece, and it's important for us to be able to own our part in the scenario. I know that I can raise my hand, because there have definitely been times in my life where I didn't take responsibility. I didn't own what it was that I may have been going through. I'm only looking at it from the lens of what someone else did or did not do and not taking accountability for what part did I play in it, even if it was a small piece of it, because it's in those moments, when we begin to look at how we showed up in scenarios, how we showed up in spaces, that we are now fine-tuning who we are becoming, as we are being that authentic version of ourselves, as we are beginning to level up, as we are beginning to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. The goal is to make sure that we are getting better every single day, and if that's just by 1%, you can say that you were better today than you were yesterday. And so it's my goal that, as we go through these next couple of weeks, that we will begin to show up in spaces and own who we are, own our part in scenario and just make sure that we are taking 100% responsibility, because it's in that responsibility that changes everything. I know sometimes that it can be uncomfortable because, let's be real, sometimes we just don't want to take accountability. But what if I told you that the moment you take full responsibility, you begin to unlock your power? Why? Because now you are looking inside of you and that's where the power lies. When you begin to put the oneness off on someone else, that means that you have now given them a power that they don't even own, but you gave it to them. You gave them this lesson that you think that they should be learning from a scenario when it's you that needs to learn. So we are going to make sure that we are taking radical responsibility, because it indeed shifts our life.

Speaker 1:

I know sometimes that when we talk about accountability, most people tend to avoid it, and it's interesting because you hear most men say that women don't want to use the A word accountability, or that they don't want to say sorry or I apologize. But I'm here to say that I believe that we do. I believe sometimes we may not outrightly say it, but it should be able to show up in our actions. It should be able to show up sometimes is hey, boo, what you want to eat? That could be our way of apologizing, but we're going to make sure that, although we may do those acts, we make sure that we say the words. Sounds great in theory, but in reality, if we struggle with taking responsibility at times, it's us who ends up falling and failing and not getting the lessons.

Speaker 1:

So why do most people avoid taking accountability? Fear of being wrong. Admitting fault can feel like failure, so some people see mistakes as a personal flaw rather than an opportunity to grow. It could be fear of consequences, where sometimes it's easier to shift the blame than to face criticisms or repercussions. Could be ego and pride. You taking responsibility also is humbling. So when you are being honest, some of us have that ego that they don't want to admit when we're wrong. It could be the victim mentality. This is just when you feel like life's always happening to me instead of you playing a role in it. It could be lack of self-awareness, so some people genuinely don't realize how their actions contribute to their reality. Could be avoiding discomfort, where facing your own role in the struggles can feel hard sometimes and some people ignore it instead of leaning into it. Right now, as we are just into the second month of the year and so many things have taken place, you'll hear the blame of culture, where, if you grew up in a certain environment where no one wanted to take or you didn't see anyone take responsibility, it just might not come naturally to you. It could be wanting to be liked.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes people avoid taking ownerships because they're afraid of disappointing people. A big one could be your fear of change, because taking responsibility often means that you have to change, and change is scary, that you have to change and change is scary. Or it could be that it's just easier to blame other people, because blaming others takes the pressure off of you. But here's the truth when you blame again, you also give away your power. You also give away your power. So why should we take 100% responsibility in changing everything in our lives? Because it shifts us from being the victim to the creator. See, when you blame other people, you give away your power.

Speaker 1:

I've said it before, but when you take responsibility, you take back control. We want to make sure that we are gaining clarity and confidence. As opposed to waiting for life to change, you begin to start making intentional moves. When we take back our power, we are building ourselves up stronger than before, and in our relationships, because owning your part in conflicts helps you to be able to communicate better and it helps you to heal faster and grow and here's a big one when you take ownership, you accelerate your growth. Excuses slow you down. Ownership speeds you up.

Speaker 1:

So I want you to just stop and take some time to think about what is something that you have been putting off on everyone else that you need to own. What is that thing that anytime someone brings it up, you begin to talk about what they did, what they did to you, how they did this. What was your part in? Could you have communicated that? Was it that you were trying to avoid having the conversation because you were afraid? Whatever it may be, you need to take some time to figure out what was it. Even if you don't necessarily go back to that individual, you need to know why you did not take the ownership in that situation, because, as we are on this journey through life, there are going to be things that will come up. And when you hear people talk about people taking the same test over and over and over again in life, that is indeed true, because until you pass the test, you will continue to take the same one over and over and over again in life. That is indeed true, because until you pass the test, you will continue to take the same one over and over again.

Speaker 1:

So if your goal is to level up, if your goal is to be the best version of you that you can be, if your goal is to be, you need to know and you need to take ownership of whatever that is that you have been putting off on other people. See, the same thing that we've talked about previously, about you not picking up anyone else's bags. You want to make sure that you are not handing off bags that belong to you to someone else. It's not their bag and so you're going to have to carry it, you're going to have to release it, whatever it is that you need to do, but make sure that you are not giving away your power. Make sure that you are learning the lessons that you need to learn.

Speaker 1:

Make sure that you are owning your stuff, because it'll make you feel better, it will make you feel at peace, because you realize either if it was good, bad or indifferent. You owned your part of it and no one can come back and say, well, they did this, that or the third. No, I own my piece of it. Even you don't have to, and that's the other thing. I think sometimes that we try to get people to see our side in it. Each person will have their own side. Each person will think that their truth is the truth, but if you know in your heart of hearts that you have owned your peace and you have thought about it and you said you know what this, this part of this story is mine. You've done your part. If you need to go back and apologize, do so. If you need to go back and apologize, do so, but let's make sure that we are taking 100% responsibility.

Speaker 1:

So, as we begin to start practicing this radical responsibility, there are going to be some things that you're going to have to do. One is just some self-reflection. You're going to have to ask yourself what area where I'm blaming instead of owning. The second thing is going to be just your mindset shift, replacing I have to with I choose to. And your third is pick one area of your life where you will take full responsibility this week. Whatever it is, take responsibility. So I'm just going to go through accountability really quickly and give us an acronym.

Speaker 1:

A is acknowledge your role in every situation. C commit to honesty with yourself and others. C challenge excuses that keep you stuck. O own your actions, words and decisions stuck. O own your actions, words and decisions. U understand that growth starts with responsibility. N never blame others for what you can control. T take action to correct mistakes and improve.

Speaker 1:

A. Adapt and learn from every experience. B break the cycle of blame and victimhood. I initiate change instead of waiting for it. L lead by example and accountability. I integrate feedback without defensiveness. T trust yourself to make empowered choices. Ny, your life is a reflection of what you take ownership of. So I'm excited you all, I'm excited that we are taking radical responsibility, and I need you to realize that when you take responsibility, it's not about guilt, it's about empowerment. So the moment that you take full ownership of your life is the moment that you step into your highest self. So, again, I've given you some homework, your homework. This week. I want you to journal on the question where in my life do I need to stop blaming and start owning? Send me a message, let me know how this has helped you. And so I'm excited about our adventure. I'm excited about where it is that we're going about our adventure. I'm excited about where it is that we're going and I'm excited about you taking the power back that lies in your ownership. Have a great week.