The Hearts Hello

Secret Ingredient to Growth

• Keona Ellerbe • Season 2 • Episode 28

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What if accountability isn't just a nagging chore, but a powerful catalyst for personal transformation? On the Hearts Hello Show, I'm Keona Talana, and I promise you'll discover how accountability transcends mere motivation and discipline to become a bridge to your aspirational self. Shattering the misconception that accountability is a punitive measure, we explore how it can actually liberate you from procrastination and align you with your true purpose. Through self, peer, and public accountability, you'll learn how to build a support system that propels you toward authentic personal growth.

Join me as we unlock practical tools and daily practices to keep you accountable and committed to your goals. From journaling and self-check-ins to engaging accountability partners, we delve into methods that foster genuine growth. Discover the beauty of embracing your authentic self and how it can positively transform your environment. By committing to self-accountability, not only do you enhance your personal development, but you also enrich the lives of those around you, leading to a more genuine and purpose-driven existence. Whether it's overcoming procrastination or aligning more closely with your values, this episode equips you with strategies to embark on a transformative journey.

Speaker 1:

Hey Heart Seekers, welcome to the Hearts Hello Show, where our hearts are the foundation of our well-being and happiness. I am your host, kiana Talena. Yep, that's right, we are still diving into this month's teaching on accountability and today we're going to discuss the accountability and how it is a tool for growth. But before we dive in, I want to pose this question to you. I want to ask you what if I told you that the secret ingredient to your growth isn't more motivation, not doing more vision boards or even more discipline, but it is deeply connected to your accountability. Yeah, I know it's that thing that makes most individuals cringe and dodge and sometimes just run in the opposite direction. But here's the thing Accountability is not, and should not be considered a punishment. It is a tool, and so, as we unpack how it can transform our lives today, I need you to realize that it is the missing piece between where you are and where you want to be.

Speaker 1:

See, most of the time, individuals push accountability off on everyone else, but they don't realize that accountability first starts with them. And when you think about accountability, most people tie it to fear. So it's going to be that fear and the avoidance of the accountability. See, it could be the fear of failure, of just being exposed. It could be fear of disappointing others or themselves ourselves. See, it's this illusion of control and here's a big one that most folks, when they are resistant to accountability, it's almost like this illusion of control in their mind. It's almost like this illusion of control in their mind. See, if no one is checking, you can change the goalposts, meaning that if you decide to not do what you're supposed to do today, you just move it. But let's say that you now become self-aware enough to the point where you realize that you have been putting things off for not just days, for not just months, for not just years. See, it becomes a habit that you are now in this space of I can just keep moving the goalposts. I can just keep moving the goalposts. I can just keep moving the line, because if there is no one to check you, if you aren't able to check yourself, you'll just keep moving it.

Speaker 1:

But we are going to dive in today to really dig into why you have to be accountable to you first and, yes, I know that you have to be accountable to other people, but when you become accountable to you, it's such a powerful tool because you have to tie it to your authenticity. So you know, we're all about authenticity and showing up and being the authentic version of ourselves, so let's relate it to that. Let's relate our accountability to authenticity. So when you hide from accountability, that often means you are hiding from who you say you want to be, because you are not even showing up as the authentic version of you, because you can't even be accountable to you. You can't even check you, you can't even tell yourself that no, I'm not going to do this tomorrow because it needs to be done today.

Speaker 1:

See, most of the time when people and I can raise my hand, especially as someone who can sometimes put things off to the last minute because I feel like I have more time, and let's just go ahead and name a thing, a thing we're going to call that procrastination. Procrastination says that I know that I can get this done, even if I put it to the last minute, even if I put it to the last minute. But what happens when you procrastinate? Yes, you can get things done, but at what cost? I know for me if I put things off to the last minute? Now I'm fumbling, now I'm trying to hurry up and get it done Now. I am anxious that I'm not going to get it done Now. I'm just thinking about all of these other things. But what if I would have done it when I said that I was going to do it Now? I have freed myself up to do something else that I probably should be doing, but I have to move that thing to whenever, because I have to get this piece done. Or have you told yourself? You know what? You've made yourself a sticky note I need to do this tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and you have now done everything else. But that See, procrastination will cost you money. Procrastination will cost you time. Procrastination will cost you time. Procrastination will cost you pulling your hair out sometimes, but when you are accountable to you, yes, you know that you have this deadline and it can be 30 days out. But what if you went ahead and knocked it out? You know when you first got it head and knocked it out. You know when you first got it. Now, even if you have to make some small tweaks to it, it's not like you're at the last minute and trying to accomplish the thing.

Speaker 1:

So we have to make sure that we are first being accountable to ourselves, because remember, reframing accountability as a growth tool. It means that we're now having to be in alignment. We're now having to be in alignment with the authentic version of ourselves, and the authentic version of ourselves says we need to be accountable. So there are going to be three levels of accountability. We already kind of touched on what one of them is, and the first one is going to be your self accountability you being honest with yourself Most of the time when well, I shouldn't say most of the time when you lie, you have to lie to you first before you end up lying to someone else.

Speaker 1:

So you have to be self-accountable to you. Number two is going to be peer accountability Having trusted people who you can check in with. Number three is going to be public accountability Declaring goals publicly, for added pressure can sometimes be support. Now, I'm not talking about you going on social media and blasting all of the goals that you have. No, I'm not saying that. And for some people that may work, but sometimes you have to be quiet in order to do certain things and then when you pop out, it's like oh, I didn't realize that she was even working on that. I didn't realize that he was working on that, because it's okay to work in the shadows sometimes, but you are still working.

Speaker 1:

You don't have to tell everyone what you're doing, but you can tell your close-knit accountability partners that, hey, this is what I said I want to do. Now I have some close individuals to me that I share those things with and they check in How's this going, how's that going? And I do the same thing for them, because we have to be accountable, not just to ourselves, but to the people that we say that we're going to do things. Now, if you don't have those three levels of accountability, then what? How are you using that as your tool? So I need you to think about are you operating in those three levels of accountability self-accountability, peer accountability and public accountability?

Speaker 1:

Pressure can be one of the best things at times and, if I'm not mistaken, isn't that how diamonds are made? Diamonds are made under pressure, and so when you have a little bit of pressure, sometimes that pushes you past where your comfort zone is, because now you have eyes peering on you to do the very thing that you said that you are going to do. So make sure that you have your accountability partners, your coaches, and, if you decide that you're going to use social media as your way of being accountable, then do so. I've done that in times when I wanted to get to a space where, just posting on a regular, I didn't have to announce that this was what I was doing, but I had made up in my mind that I wanted to do 60 days straight, and I did so or just for my own personal accountability no one's watching me but to make sure that I work out every day. It doesn't have to be a hard workout, but I am being accountable to me, and so, even when I have made up in my mind that I don't want to work out, I have to make myself work out, because I am being accountable to what I said, that I wanted, how I wanted my body to look, how I want it to feel, and so I am reshaping or reframing a narrative, and so sometimes that's what we have to do. We have to shift. So we have to see accountability as a tool rather than a burden, and when you do so, you become more powerful.

Speaker 1:

So how do we begin to build an accountability framework? The first thing that we have to do is set clear goals with deadlines. I know that so many people just talk about what they want to do. I know that so many people just talk about what they want to do and that sounds great, but set the goal and then set the date. Because when you have set the date of when you want to finish a thing, it's just like when you have a deadline in your job. And it pisses me off not just with what I see in others but sometimes even with what I would see in myself that I will work so much harder for someone at a job to make sure that I am pushing their purpose, to make sure that I am pushing their agenda, that I wouldn't even work as hard on my purpose, that I wouldn't even work as hard on the things that are making my household run. So I know that we know how to set clear goals and deadlines, because let's just say that your boss or your supervisor gave you something to do and told you when it was supposed to be done. I bet you got it done. So why don't we have that same level of support for ourselves? Why can't we hold ourselves accountable to what we said that we want to do and know that there's going to be a consequence if we don't do it? So set that clear goal with the deadline.

Speaker 1:

Again, we already talked about being able to find your accountability partners in your groups and then use your checkpoints to measure your progress. You have to know that once you set that goal and you set that deadline, where's the middle point? Which should you have accomplished by this time and begin to work backwards? It's not that difficult. We make it difficult, more difficult than it needs to be, and then we have to just reflect with honesty. If you fall off, don't justify it, just adjust. Don't justify it, just adjust.

Speaker 1:

So I have a simple accountability question for you. If I, you don't hold myself accountable, who or what suffers? I'll ask it again If you don't hold yourself accountable, who or what suffers? Think about it. If you don't do X, then what happens? Is it your purpose? Is it your passion? Is it money on the line? Is it whatever it is? You're going to have to answer that question. You're going to have to answer that question. And so here I'm going to give you seven everyday tools to ensure your accountability to yourself first, and then you can extend that accountability to others.

Speaker 1:

The very first thing is going to be self-accountability. We talked about it before, holding yourself accountable first. So you're going to have a daily check in journal and in that journal you're going to write down three things you will accomplish today and reflect on them at the end of the day. Simple, right. Ask yourself did I keep my word to myself? Ask yourself did I keep my word to myself? If not, why? No one else is seeing this journal except for you. But can you be honest with you? Can you be accountable to you? First, the second thing is going to be accountability alarm. Set your alarm, your reminders throughout the day to pause and to check in. Am I following through on what I said I would do today? It helps you to interrupt your autopilot and bring self-awareness to your actions. Number three again, honest question. Ask yourself one tough question daily. Did I take full responsibility for my choices today? Am I avoiding something out of fear? When you ask yourself these questions, it helps you to identify your patterns of self-sabotage.

Speaker 1:

Number four get you a tracking system. If it's a whiteboard, if it's you writing on your mirror every day, if it's you having stickies and putting things on your computer to remind yourself. If you need to get an accountability app, whatever that is, make sure that you have your daily non-negotiables that you work on. Have your daily non-negotiables that you work on. Number five write future me letters. So write a letter to yourself each month about your current goals and read it later to see if you kept your word to you. You can do this on a monthly basis. You can do it on a weekly basis. It may work better for you starting out doing it once a week until you build up that muscle to be able to say what you want to do for the month. But let's start getting into a habit of holding ourselves accountable.

Speaker 1:

So now, when it comes to the accountability to others, number six is going to be again we talked about it your accountability and your partner group. Find someone who will check in on your progress. Set up a weekly meeting so that you can review your wins and your struggles. Don't be afraid to talk to the people that care about you, because not only do they care about you, they care about your success, they care about your well-being. They want to know what's going on. How can I help? How can I be that support for you? But if you don't pull them in to say this is an area that I'm working on, how will they know? And then number seven, if you so choose, to use the public or and or social accountability. So, if you want to declare your goals on social media, in your chat group or just to your mentor, but to say it out loud increases your commitment. Because we don't like breaking promises to others, it's crazy. Right, we'll break a promise to ourselves, but we won't break a promise to other people.

Speaker 1:

It goes back to what I said. When you show up at work each and every day and your boss or your supervisor gives you something to do, you will stay late, you will arrive early, you will miss sleep to ensure that you have reached your deadline. Have that same tenacity for your personal goals. Stop giving it all to someone else where you're making their name rich. That's not why you were put on this earth. That's not why you were created. Yes, you can go to work and use those resources to help funnel your purpose and your passion and all of those great things, but that's not why you were created. Each and every one of us was created with a purpose, so you have to tap into what that is and don't pour all of that out at a job. Figure out what your purpose is and begin to pour into that Begin to serve others.

Speaker 1:

So I'm excited about where we are, because I believe that, in shifting and shaping and reframing our habits, and understanding that we have to first be accountable to ourselves before we can be accountable to others, will allow us to show up and be the authentic version of ourselves that we were born, destined and created to be, because we have a responsibility. If you believe it or not, that there is purpose down on the inside of you and, if you so choose to have, and to listen to me each and every week to be your personal coach. I don't know you, you don't know me, but allow us to journey together. Allow us to go through these adventures of life together. Allow us to become the authentic version of ourselves that we were created to be, together. And that first starts with one understanding who you are, but then two, being accountable to you. So I'm excited, you all.

Speaker 1:

I'm excited about this journey that we're on. I'm excited about us being able to move forward. I'm excited about as how, when we show up as the authentic version of ourselves, how it changes our environment, and it changes our environment for the better environment and it changes our environment for the better. So go be accountable this week, challenge yourself this week, show up and ask yourself those tough questions this week. Why? Because you deserve it All right until next time.