The Hearts Hello

Stop Going Through the Motions: Reconnect with Purpose and Presence

• Keona T. Ellerbe • Season 2 • Episode 35

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Have you ever looked up and realized you're simply going through the motions? Showing up, checking boxes, smiling on cue—while feeling completely hollow inside? You're not lazy, ungrateful, or broken. You're human.

Today's episode emerges from a deeply personal place. For the first time in nearly two years of consistent weekly podcasting, I missed an episode. The reason was simple yet profound: I didn't have it in me to pour out. This moment of recognition wasn't a failure but a powerful awakening to the fact that I'd been caught in the cycle of mechanical productivity without honoring my own needs and season.

We dive into why we fall into these patterns—survival mode, burnout, unprocessed grief, or the belief that our value comes from doing rather than being. More importantly, we explore the path back to alignment: pausing to check in with yourself, honestly assessing what you need, giving yourself permission to feel and rest, and reconnecting with your purpose rather than your title. For me, this meant acknowledging that in my current season, I need support around me—people who can run alongside me, see me, and hold me accountable.

The invitation is clear: give yourself permission to stop performing and start living. Choose momentum—real, messy, intentional momentum toward your authentic self. One small aligned action today can begin shifting you from hollow motions to meaningful momentum. Are you ready to walk this journey together? Because the awareness you're feeling right now isn't weakness—it's your power awakening.

Speaker 1:

Hey Heart Seekers, welcome to the Hearts Hello Show, where our hearts are the foundation of our well-being and happiness. I am your host, kiana Talena. Have you ever looked up and realized you're doing all the things showing up, checking the boxes, smiling on cue but deep down it just feels hollow. You're not lazy, ungrateful or broken, you're just going through the motions, and so I want to talk about that this week. For those of you all who have been listening to this show for almost two years, there has not been a week that I have missed an episode. And last week episode and last week I did why? I didn't have it in me. I felt like as much as I wanted to press play or, I'm sorry, press record so that you all could press play on an episode, I didn't have it. I just didn't have it to pour out. And I was sitting there and it clicked. I had been going through the motions of making sure that I was showing up each and every week and, of course, providing you all with the information from the action items that I was actually doing and those things that were actually working, but I just I didn't have it in me. I just didn't have it in me. And so last week I took some time to really just sit, not only with just my thoughts, but to sit quietly and to figure out where exactly is it that I'm going. See, sometimes in transitional seasons, we have to stop, think about what we're doing and is there a need to shift? Because sometimes we will get caught up in the motions, just like I did, making sure that I was checking off all of the boxes, making sure that I was checking off all of the boxes Podcast recorded Check. Making sure I'm making content to post Check. Doing reading Check. Listening to other podcasts Check.

Speaker 1:

But what happens when it feels like and looks like you're waking up, work, repeat, and there's no spark and then you become numb to your emotions or just avoiding them altogether. What if you're feeling disconnected from purpose, joy and even just from your own self, or everything just feels meh, like even the things that you used to love, like? That's how I felt last week and I wanted to share that with you all because, even though you know, sometimes, especially on social media, we'll portray as if everything is just going amazingly well. Sometimes it's not, and it doesn't mean that you're weak, it doesn't mean that you're not self-aware. You're actually aware and your awareness is powerful actually aware and your awareness is powerful. See, I could have pushed through, and that's what I share with you all to do, but I also want you to realize that there are going to be times when you just don't have it in you, and that comes from the self-awareness and the fact that you can check you, because there is not a time when I will get on here and share anything with you all that I haven't already lived, tried and done myself. And so could I have got on here and just given you all something? Yeah, but that's not me. So I'm sharing that with you all so that you know we're all human, we're all imperfect and sometimes we just don't got it, and that's OK.

Speaker 1:

So today, I want us to understand why we sometimes fall into this cycle. It could be from survival mode, or just the burnout of always being on, the trauma or grief that hasn't been processed, overcommitments to expectations and perfections, thinking that your value only comes from doing, not being. See, I don't know what your story is, I don't know what your example may be, but there are times in life when you feel like you may just be existing and not living. So I need you to think about that this week, as you're going throughout your, as you're going throughout your day, as you're going throughout your week, as you're going through this month. Are you just checking off the boxes? Are you fully present in what it is that you're doing? Doing or and or? If that's the case, then what happened? What do you need to tweak? What do you need to let go? What do you need to recognize that's causing you to feel that way? And we have to figure out how to get back into alignment.

Speaker 1:

Like I shared with you all, I had to really stop and think. I had to figure out where and what was lacking in my life for me to feel like I just don't have it to pour out today and I don't want to just give them anything, just to give them something. But why? Why did I feel like I was going through the motions? Because I didn't take the necessary time to assess the season that I was in. See, there are going to be seasons when you can just up and you can go, but in this season, for me it's different and I had to realize and recognize that Because where I was pouring out from that cup wasn't being filled. Because I didn't recognize that it was empty.

Speaker 1:

I'm in a season where I'm needing support, where, yes, I can hold myself accountable, but I want some people that I can run with. I want some people where I can pick with. I want some people where I can pick up the phone and say, hey, what are we doing today? Let's go See. It's one thing when you are running a race by yourself, but it's totally different when you have a group of people who can not only push you, they can see you, they can hold you accountable. If you were to fall down and hurt yourself, they see you. And so that's the season for me that I'm in. Yes, there was a season when I could run and go by myself, and that was okay. That's not this season.

Speaker 1:

The things that I am working on require me to have help, and so I had to recognize that this season I'm going to need some people around me. I'm going to need that support system. I'm going to need those people who can run with me. So maybe that's you. But again, how do we get back into alignment? You have to pause and check in. You have to ask yourself what do I need right now? Like I said for me. I know that I need support. You're going to have to give yourself permission to feel, to rest and to redirect Y'all.

Speaker 1:

I did some stuff last week, but I didn't dive into it the way that I normally would, because I wasn't going to push myself through having to figure out what exactly it was that I needed, through having to figure out what exactly it was that I needed. I took some time to reconnect spiritually Praying more, fasting more, all of those things because I needed to reconnect. And so, just like I said, in reconnectinging you have to reconnect with your purpose, not your title, your truth. I had to figure out what is it that I was doing? Am I doing the right thing? And if this is not the right season for it, do I need to put it on the back burner to focus my energy on what needs to be done right now? So, yes, I took some time to look at all of the businesses that I have going right now. Am I operating in excellence? Am I doing the best that I can do as I am being stretched and in those areas that need some work, guess what? I took that necessary time and am still taking that necessary time to make sure that I am showing up in excellence in everything that I'm doing.

Speaker 1:

No, it's not about perfection, because we're never going to perfect it. That's the whole point in life. There are going to be times when we need to revise, just like in a product. The product starts out one way and each reiteration of it gets better as time goes along. So we have to figure out where we are in this cycle of life.

Speaker 1:

So, like I said, reconnecting with your purpose and then recognizing that you can start small. So do one thing today that feels aligned with who you are becoming, not who you've been pretending to be. So I encourage you to journal or to say out loud that I give myself permission to stop performing and start living. Yeah, you heard me, did you say it? No, really, I need you to take some time to let that sink in. I need you to feel that I'll say it again with you I give myself permission to stop performing and start living. So I'm not going to hold you long, because I need you to figure out where you are. I need you to figure out if you're going throughout your day just checking your boxes, or if you're actually being in your moments throughout your day, just checking your boxes or if you're actually being in your moments. So if you're tired of the motions, it's time for you to choose momentum real, messy, intentional momentum toward your real self. Let's walk this thing out together. You ready? All right, let's go.