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The Hearts Hello
Welcome to The Hearts Hello, where we believe our hearts are the foundation of our well-being and happiness. Our hearts hold the key to unlocking a life of purpose, meaning, and fulfillment, as they are the very essence of our being. We aim to uncover the secrets of a heart-centered life through authentic conversations, inspiring stories, and practical advice. We discuss the importance of emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and self-awareness in developing a healthy and vibrant heart. Additionally, we explore the role of vulnerability, empathy, and connection in building meaningful relationships and positively impacting the world. Join us on this journey of self-discovery and transformation as we awaken the heart and rediscover what truly matters. We'll use personal experiences and expert insights to explore the vital role of emotional and mental well-being in caring for our souls. Together, let's create a world where the heart is at the center of everything we do and where love, empathy, and kindness are the guiding principles. Let's learn to listen to our hearts, honor their voice, and live a life that aligns with our deepest values and aspirations. When the heart matters, everything else falls into place.
The Hearts Hello
Outgrowing Your Comfort Zone? That's the Point!
Have you ever noticed that sometimes the growth you've prayed for arrives wrapped in discomfort rather than peace? That moment when you realize you're changing—not reacting the way you used to, feeling uncomfortable in spaces that once felt safe, grieving connections you thought were permanent.
This powerful exploration dives into the paradox of personal transformation: how progress can feel like loss. When we genuinely grow, we don't just add new perspectives to our existing selves—we fundamentally transform who we are. And in that becoming, we must say goodbye to who we once were, even when that version of ourselves feels comfortingly familiar. This shedding process creates a unique form of grief that's rarely discussed in conversations about personal development.
The episode offers five essential strategies for navigating this "becoming season": expecting identity disruption, building in genuine rest (not just strategic breaks), consulting your future self for wisdom, honoring the grief of transformation, and giving your nervous system time to catch up with your spirit. You'll learn to reframe your experiences—seeing falling apart as divine strategy rather than sabotage, people walking away as realignment rather than rejection, and quiet moments as sacred space-making rather than emptiness.
Whether you're in the midst of a major life transition or feeling the subtle shifts of ongoing growth, this conversation validates the complex emotions of transformation while providing practical tools to navigate them. Ready to embrace the powerful affirmation "I'm not broken; I'm just no longer pretending to be who I'm not"? Listen now, and discover how to honor both who you were and who you're becoming.
All right, friends. So last week we talked about progress and how sometimes it shows up quietly, wrapped in small, sacred moments that nobody sees Right, and we honored the soft winds, the silent growth, the becoming that doesn't need a spotlight. But this week we're talking about what happens when that progress starts shaking everything around you. Because no one talks about this part. Yes, the growth sounds good until it starts costing you the life you built from survival. So let's go ahead and get into it, because I know that you have prayed for healing, that you've journaled for alignment, that you fasted, cried, surrendered, and now things are changing. But instead of you feeling at peace, you're feeling disoriented. You're not reacting the way that you used to, you're not interested in the same conversations, you're uncomfortable in spaces you once felt safe in. You're grieving connections that you thought were permanent. I kidded y'all, but can I free you? That doesn't mean something is wrong. That means something is working. So I know that you're asking the question so why does progress feel like a loss? And here's the truth. Here's what people don't usually say about growth. In this becoming someone new, it means you're going to have to bury the old one and that part. That's the part that hurts, because even if the old you was overworked, underloved and overfunctioning guess what? It's familiar. So letting go of her, that's not just a shift, that's a grief process. So you're not just growing, you're also shedding at the same time, and shedding can feel like confusion, silence and even loneliness, especially when no one around you is evolving at the same pace. And can I just throw in this piece as well, it can feel like loneliness when the others around you also can't understand what you're going through. So sometimes we go through certain things that no one else in our circle has been through, and so, although you may have these conversations with them, they don't really understand. They can sympathize with you, but they don't understand the weight of it. They can't truly understand how it feels.
Speaker 1:Yes, so today I'm going to prepare you for this becoming season. So do you have your notepad? Are you ready to take some copious notes? Because if you have been following this podcast for long enough, you know that we're not just here to hear what it is that I'm saying. I don't just show up each and every week to give you some cute message that is not going to change your life. No, I need you to really lean into this person that you are becoming. I really need you to lean into the authenticity that is going to come from you showing up and being this new person, and it requires work. Anytime you are getting ready to do something new, there is going to be a learning process, and in order for you to learn it, how about you take notes from someone who has already gone through it? All right, so with that rant, you should have gone and grabbed your notepad and your pen and been ready, because here's the first thing that I need to tell you on how to prepare for this becoming season to expect identity disruption, so you may feel like I don't even recognize myself anymore. Good, you're not supposed to, because you're becoming.
Speaker 1:The second thing is build in rest, not just strategy. Can I tell you that there are some days when I want to push through and my body and my mind is like, no, we need to rest. Can you just go in color and do something creative to turn off that part of your brain that you feel like you just need to keep doing something, because progress is exhausting when you don't give yourself room to breathe. So I need you to make space for stillness. Don't do anything, don't plan for anything, and when your body tells you to slow down better, yet when your mind is racing and you can't turn it off, that's a sign that you need to just get still. Get still enough to hear what is going on, wherever you are. If it's in the house I know that if I get still long enough, I'll hear the refrigerator kick on. You will hear stuff going on in your house and you, like my gosh, are all of these things going on at one time, but you don't hear it because you're always going. So I need you to turn it. Turn it down a few notches, okay.
Speaker 1:The third thing I need you to do is talk to your future self, literally Ask yourself what do you need? Hey, kiana, what do you need today? See, the woman that you're becoming has insight that survival you didn't have. So it's okay to have a conversation with you about what you need to do next. The fourth thing is I need you to honor the grief. You can miss who you were and still be proud of who you're becoming, because, guess what, they can coexist at the same time. And, number five, I need you to let your system catch up to your spirit, because just because your mindset has changed doesn't mean your nervous system has. So be patient with the parts of you that still feel scared.
Speaker 1:And when we're talking to ourselves, I need you to be able to articulate how you're feeling. For some of you, all you may need to get a feeling chart, and what that feeling chart does is it gives you sometimes this the broad perspective of how we will name our feelings, of how we will name our feelings, and then the next layer on that chart will give you the exact feeling of why you're feeling that way, got it. So I need you to ask yourself what version of me am I grieving in this season of growth? And then I need you to write her a goodbye letter, if you need to. And then you know I give you work, so you don't just come on here and show up and hear me talk Absolutely not. She got work to do. So then write a welcome letter to who you are becoming, because this version of you, you've been doing some work.
Speaker 1:You have cried tears that you have never cried before, from a different space. You have had conversations with yourself and maybe with others about how you are feeling, because now you have found the words to articulate what exactly is going on. You have had to walk away from things that you thought were going to be in your life forever, and realizing that everybody can't go, everything can't go, because how are you going to pick up all of these new things that are coming into your life as you are becoming this new version of you? So I need you to affirm yourself this week by not saying that you're broken. I'm not saying that you're broken, but I'm just no longer pretending to be who I'm not. That's your affirmation. I am no longer pretending to be who I'm not. So, friend, don't be afraid of the shaking.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, when things are falling apart, I need you to realize that it's not sabotage, it's strategy. Sometimes, when people walk away, it's not rejection, it's realignment. Sometimes, when the quiet hits, it's not emptiness, it's God making room. So, this week, as your growth begins to stir things up, let this be a reminder that you are not losing your way. You are finding your truth, and I need you to thank you for sitting with you. I need you to pat yourself on the back, give yourself a hug for doing this work, because you deserve it. I need you to stay anchored, stay authentic and stay open Until next week.