The Hearts Hello

The Greener Grass Myth

• Keona T. Ellerbe • Season 3 • Episode 2

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Have you ever caught yourself looking over the fence, convinced the grass must be greener somewhere else? That's exactly where I found myself recently, until a profound realization stopped me in my tracks: the grass isn't greener on the other side – it's greener where you water it.

Life's pause seasons can feel frustrating, especially in a world where everyone else's highlight reel seems to broadcast constant success. You might find yourself in a pause when your pace slows unexpectedly, when doors you expected to open remain shut, or when everything feels still but your spirit remains restless. Most people misinterpret these pauses as rejection when they're actually protection – sacred space to tend what's already in your hands.

The journey to greener grass begins with pulling the weeds – those lies you've believed, habits that drain you, and relationships that choke your growth. It means feeding the soil of your spirit, mind, and body through reading, rest, prayer, and learning. Growth happens not in occasional floods but through daily watering – those small, consistent acts of discipline and self-compassion. Sometimes, watering even means stepping back and giving your roots permission to breathe, trusting that dormancy isn't death but preparation for the next season.

What makes this message so powerful is recognizing that everyone's lawn has different soil, different sunlight needs, and different optimal growing conditions. What flourishes for someone else might not be what's meant to grow for you. Your grass needs your water, not someone else's formula. So I challenge you: identify where in your life the grass is thirsty – your health, relationships, creativity, or spiritual life – and start watering it with small, consistent acts. The pause isn't punishment; it's permission to water what's been neglected. And when you look back, you'll see it wasn't wasted time but the season your roots grew deepest.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I caught you just in time because you were getting ready to look over the fence. You were getting ready to see if the grass is truly greener on the other side. But here's the truth the grass is only greener where you water it. So today we are talking about when life places you in a pause no, I'm not talking about a stop, but a pause and instead of comparing yourself to someone else's highlight reel, you start tending to your own soil, because when you water your own grass, you don't have time to envy anybody else's. See, I don't know if it's just me.

Speaker 1:

That's in this place where it seems like this season is extremely long. Yes, we are in the summertime and yes, it has been extremely hot outside, but it's also been one of those seasons where we have been getting a lot of rain for it to be summertime, right. We've been getting a lot of rain for it to be summertime, right. We've been getting a lot of rain this year, and I had a dream where the grass was extremely green and then there was a sprinkler system outside and I don't know if you all have that where it kind of goes from one side to the other, the water kind of rises and goes back to the other side and then it just kind of does that, but it's watering the grass. The grass was nice and lush and green, and it reminded me that sometimes we will focus in on everyone else's grass except for our own. I know that there's a video that kind of goes around where it talks about when a man hears one of his neighbors start the lawnmower and it's almost like it's competition of whose yard is going to look the best, and not realizing that your yard will always look the best if you continue to just tend to it. And so I just want us to recognize the post-season that we're in. So I need you to just take a second and recognize it. I need you to acknowledge that this may be where you currently are, and sometimes that pause shows up when your pace slows and you didn't choose it. It sometimes shows up when the doors that you expected to open don't, or when things feel still, but inside your spirit is just a little restless. See, most people miss this. They think the pause is a rejection. But the pause is actually your protection and God's saying I'm giving you space to tend to what's already in your hands. My gosh, let me say that, again, god is giving you space to tend to what's already in your hands. So, instead of you staring at someone else's lawn, notice. Is your own grass drying out? Is it patchy? Are you trying to run into new territory while your roots are starving? Now, I don't want to call any names out, I don't want to point at you, but if this is you, go ahead and raise your hand wherever you are.

Speaker 1:

But sometimes it feels like, when things are going a certain way in our lives, that we begin to focus in on the good things that are going on in someone else's life, but you don't realize what season they may be in and what season they have just come out of. See, especially in this age where we can kind of scroll and everything appears to be peachy, keen and everybody's life is just going absolutely amazing and nothing is going wrong. But what happens when they turn that live off? What happens to the 80% of their life that they do not post on social media? See, it's the 20% that they have decided to share. And you have taken that 20% and feel like their life is just going all the right way, the way that you will want your life to go. But what if they had a pause season as well, and in their pausing, they took time to tend to their grace, they took time to do the necessary things while in that season. So when that season does indeed end because I promise you it does that they now have something to show for it. They now have that grass that everybody is looking at, and it's okay to gaze at the grass, but I don't want you to become envious of what it is that they have because you don't know what they had to do in order to get to where they are. So I'm going to encourage you today and to share with you today how to water your own grass. It's going to be practical, I promise you, and I need you to understand what does it mean to water your grass in the polls, you to understand what does it mean to water your grass in the polls.

Speaker 1:

See, one of the things, especially for me. I can share that I don't like being outside where there are bugs. I know right, I just said I don't like being outside where there are bugs, but that's where they live. And so here I am, where I have a small, small yard, but I do have flowers, and so where there are my rose bushes and things like that. Weeds grow, and can I just tell y'all that it took forever for me to go outside to pull the weeds. Why? Because I don't like bugs, I don't want them to be on me, I don't want to see them, but yet I'm outside where they are. But I'll tell you why it's so important, for the number one thing that you can do, do or step number one, I should say is to pull the weeds.

Speaker 1:

Weeds are the lies that you've believed, the habits that drain you, the relationships that choke your growth. So, before you water, you've got to clear the space. Because, can I share something with you? When you water the flowers, guess what? And you don't pluck up the weeds, you are also watering the weeds. And can I tell you that weeds seem to grow faster than the flowers. Why is that? But you can't just do one and not do the other. You can't look at the beauty in the flowers if they are being choked out by the weeds that are surrounding them. And so sometimes in our lives, everything may look a certain way.

Speaker 1:

But can I just ask you, are there some weeds that you need to pull up? So what weeds keep growing back? Because you won't uproot them. That's the other thing y'all. Uproot them that's the other thing, y'all. You can go in and just start snatching weeds, but for whatever reason, those little suckers have deep roots, and so you may think that you are pulling up the weed, but you didn't pull up the root to it. You didn't pull up what's going to cause that thing to come back and look like a monster soon. So you have to go in and do the necessary work. Now, remember, I told you that I don't like going out and doing yard work because I don't like bugs. So what did I do? I went on to Amazon and found a tool that will help me to pull up the weeds. So it was saving my back, but it was also making sure that I was not just going out and pulling up the weeds, but that it went down deep into the soil so that it could pull up the weed at the root. So sometimes there are going to be some tools that we need, and your first tool is going to be the question that you ask yourself, which I've already asked, but I will say it again what weeds keep growing back because you won't uproot them?

Speaker 1:

The second thing that you need to do is feed the soil. The soil that's going to be your spirit, your mind, your body. You're going to have to pour into it. And how do you pour into it? Reading, resting, praying, to journal, invest in, learning something new. So oftentimes we just kind of go through our day and we have these daily checklists of the things that we want to accomplish. But what if you needed to just learn something new? Give your mind something new to focus in on? So, as you have pulled the weeds up and as you are feeding your mind, body and your spirit, there are going to be some things that you need to do. Spirit, there are going to be some things that you need to do and there are going to be some ways that you need to invest in. You See, most people overlook that tending to the soil is the invisible work that produces visible results later. It's those things that you do that no one else sees. It's those things that you do when you close the blinds and you are sitting down and reading or taking a class and you are working on you. So that's going to be number two.

Speaker 1:

The third thing that you need to do is water daily, not occasionally. So I need you to stop waiting for that big breakthrough moment. See, growth happens in micro moves. Those weeds that I was talking about. They don't just sprout up overnight. The flowers don't just sprout up overnight. It requires those small sips of discipline, consistency, kindness to yourself, each and every day. So you're going to have to remember to water you. It's not what you do once in a while, it's what you do consistently. That keeps the grass alive. See, I talked about. You know that we have been getting some a lot of rainy weather, but then there have also been some days where it's been extremely hot. So what happens when it's extremely hot outside but then you're not watering the grass? What? What tends to happen? The grass burns, the grass dies because it's now at a deficit for needing to be watered, and so we want to make sure that we are watering daily.

Speaker 1:

Number four let the roots breathe. See, sometimes watering means stepping back. It means giving yourself permission to rest. A pause does not mean laziness, it means restoration. See, god built in the Sabbath for a reason, and your roots need space to breathe. Stop always just doing stuff just to be doing it. Stop being busy just to be busy. Take a moment to just breathe.

Speaker 1:

Number five I need you, as hard as it can be sometimes, to trust the season. Grass does not stay green year round. Winter comes and it looks dead, but it's not. It's preparing. It has gone into a dormant state, but the roots are still solid. The roots are waiting for the next season and this is why, when you are going into the fall season, you will come in and you will aerate the lawn. You will come in and you will overseed, you will begin to do some heavy watering. You will do all of these things knowing that winter is coming. Well, why do you think that you will come in and aerate when you know that this season is getting ready to end? You're coming in, you're aerating and you're overseeding. Why? Because even during the winter season, there is still growth. So don't mistake dormancy for death. Your pulse may be a season of hidden growth, and I just want you to realize that seasons come and seasons go right. We say it all the time. And then there are things that just happen in certain seasons. Pay attention to where you are. See.

Speaker 1:

Oftentimes there are things that we overlook, especially when it comes to watering. So they think that watering is only external, when really the deepest watering is internal. Folks think that they want quick results, but watering takes patience. So you can't flood your yard once a month and call it growth. So you can't flood your yard once a month and call it growth. That's not going to work.

Speaker 1:

Another thing that people tend to overlook is that they compare their season to someone else's, without realizing that every lawn has a different type of soil, different sunlight, different climate. What grows for them may not be what's supposed to grow for you. Can you imagine me being here in the Washington DC area and I'm trying to grow a palm tree? It may grow, but this is not the proper climate for a palm tree to grow. Just like they have different blades of grass, different grass that will grow in different humidities, that need more sunlight, you have to pay attention to what is needed for you, and let me just tell you, friends, that your grass needs you to water, not someone else. Needs your water, I apologize, not someone else's formula.

Speaker 1:

So here's my challenge for you to stop chasing the greener yard. I need you to water your own own. Now I need you to ask yourself a quick question when in your life is the grass thirsty? Is it your health? Is it your prayer life, your friendships, your creativity. Pick one area this week and start watering it with small, consistent acts. Because the truth is, the pause isn't punishment, it's permission, permission to water what's been neglected. And when you look back you see the pause wasn't wasted. It was the season your roots grew the deepest, so until next time grew the deepest, so until next time. Remember, the grass is greener where you water it and the pause is where you learn how.