The Hearts Hello

Treat Yourself Like You Matter

• Keona T. Ellerbe • Season 3 • Episode 3

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Why do we treat diamonds with reverence but leave ourselves unprotected? This thought-provoking exploration of self-worth challenges us to reconsider how we value ourselves in a world that often teaches us to accept less than we deserve.

When was the last time you treated yourself like you mattered? We instinctively know how to handle valuables – whispering in jewelry stores, keeping hands behind our backs at museums, storing fine wine in climate-controlled cellars. Yet somehow, we fail to apply this same level of care to ourselves, our boundaries, our time, and our energy.

The disconnect often stems from deep-seated beliefs formed through past experiences, comparison culture, fear of rejection, or trauma. Maybe you grew up hearing you were "too much" or "not enough." Perhaps social media has convinced you that you're somehow behind or less than. Or you've lowered your standards out of fear that requiring proper treatment means nobody will choose you. But here's the truth: none of that erases your inherent worth; it only clouds how you see it.

Things of genuine value don't argue about being valuable – they simply are. The diamond doesn't beg to be put in the case. The painting doesn't explain why it needs protection. Their worth is already established. Your job isn't to convince people of your value; it's to remember it for yourself. This means setting boundaries even when uncomfortable, saying no to protect your energy, and requiring respect – not because you're better than others, but because you're not less than. Like a diamond that doesn't plead "pick me," you don't need to convince anyone. Those meant to recognize your value will see it naturally.

Ask yourself: Where have I left my worth unprotected? Where have I let people handle me without care? Today, decide to put yourself back in the case – not hiding, but protecting; not becoming untouchable, but becoming intentional. Because what's valuable is always worth the care. Share this message with someone who needs to hear that their worth is non-negotiable.

Speaker 1:

Today I want to ask you a question when was the last time you treated yourself like you mattered, like you were worth the pause, the protection, the intentionality? Because what I've noticed is that we know how to treat valuables when they're outside of us. We'll walk into a jewelry store and whisper like we're in church. We'll admire a painting at a museum with our hands behind our back like we don't want to breathe too hard near it, but when it comes to ourselves, my gosh, that's where we drop the ball. You see value changes, treatment, diamonds they're locked in a glass case, white gloves are required. Rare books, special rooms, special permission, luxury cars they don't even see daylight until they're polished and detailed. Wine cellars, climate controlled, not rushed. Some bottles are waiting decades for the right moment. Even people VIPs get red carpet rolled out. Special seating, security All of these examples scream one thing this is not common. This is worth protecting. So the real question becomes why don't we treat ourselves the same way? Why do we leave ourselves out in the open, unprotected, available to anyone who wants to take a swipe at our peace, our time, our energy? See, this is what I don't understand, the why people don't feel worthy of the care.

Speaker 1:

This is where it gets deep, because people don't treat themselves like valuables because somewhere along the line they were convinced that they weren't Past experience. Maybe they grew up being told you were too much or not enough or black to black. When you hear that long enough, you start believing you don't deserve special treatment. And then we have this comparison culture where social media will have you thinking you're behind, less than disposable, and when you don't see yourself measuring up, you don't place yourself behind the glass, you put yourself on clearance. Or is it your fear of rejection? Some people lower their price tag just because people, so that people will choose them. See, we accept being handled carelessly because deep down, we are afraid that if we required white glove treatment, nobody would come near us.

Speaker 1:

Or is it your trauma and broken trust? Being mishandled leaves scars broken trust. Being mishandled leaves scars. And if you've been dropped, abandoned or overlooked enough times, you start treating yourself the way others treated you carelessly. And let me tell you something None of that erases your worth, it just clouds how you see it. So here's the truth. Things of value don't argue about being valuable, they just are. The diamond doesn't beg to be put in the case. The painting doesn't explain why it needs glass over it. The worth is already established. Your job isn't to convince people of your worth, it's to remember it for yourself. So what does that look like? It looks like setting boundaries even when it feels uncomfortable. It looks like saying no, because protecting your energy is saying yes to yourself. It looks like requiring respect, not because you're better than, but because you are not less than, and reminding yourself daily that you don't belong on the clearance rack. I'll say it again you are not to be handled carelessly.

Speaker 1:

Who told you that your value is based upon what someone gives you at a job? Who told you that, just because this is the environment in which you grew up, that this is the only place that you're going to be? Who told you that you can't set a boundary for yourself as it relates to relationships and that you want the best of the best? Who told you that you needed to settle for less? See, we live in a society that feels like you have to settle in order to get something, and I beg to differ. I beg to differ. What if I decided that I did not want to settle because I knew the value that I had in myself, that I didn't need you to come and affirm me that I already understood who I was and who I am and that my value does not have a price tag.

Speaker 1:

See, when you begin to talk to yourself about yourself, you begin to throw your shoulders back and look in the mirror and say I'm that girl, I'm that guy and nobody can tell me any different. When you begin to say no to those things that no longer serve you and be cool with being able to back away, that's value. And I think a lot of times people are afraid of what everyone else is going to say when you begin to put value on you. Why? Because maybe they just don't have the value, or the perceived value that you have placed upon yourself. Because you know who you are, are. See, authenticity shows up different. Courage shows up different. Being okay with you shows up different than the person who has to wear the mask and be something that they are not. See, when you show up as you, your value, do you think that a diamond has to be anything other than a diamond? It doesn't need the filter, it doesn't need anyone to say oh my gosh, you're a diamond. Nobody can see that. But when you walk into the jewelry store. You know that you can't just go in and put your hands on it. You're going to have to wait for the person that works there to unlock the case and then make sure that they're asking is this the one that you want to see? They don't just take all of them out at one time.

Speaker 1:

Why is it that we don't handle ourselves with care? And a lot of times I believe it's because we don't even speak kindly to ourselves. See, you are the loudest voice that you're going to hear and you are with you from birth until the time that you die. So why would you not be speaking life into you? See, a lot of times you're waiting for someone else to encourage you. You're waiting for someone, one else, to give you a pat on the back. You're waiting for that thing, that person, to show up in your life to give you what you perceive as value, to say that you either are a wife or you're not. But what if you just showed up, being who you are, knowing who you're supposed to be, and allow them to be able to see it for themselves? So you don't have to? A diamond does not say hey, pick me, there are other diamonds in the jewelry store. A diamond does not say, hey, pick me. There are other diamonds in the jewelry store and the person that decides to buy it made the decision because they felt like this is the one.

Speaker 1:

See, when we start treating ourselves like the diamond, when we start treating ourselves like the rare book, when we start treating ourselves like the rare book, when we start treating ourselves like the penny, you show up different. The light around you is different. Just think about when you go into a jewelry store, the light that is on you. Think about when you go to that museum, the light that is on you. The book has a light on it. When you are who you are, you show up with your light already on. You don't have to perform, you don't have to do a trick and dance so that someone sees you. They are going to see you because of who you are and the people that you are called to, the person that wants you in their life. They will see you. You don't have to convince them that you are who you are, because they will see it. And let me give you this one caveat If they do not see it, it's because you were not for them.

Speaker 1:

Again, when we talk about. When we go in the jewelry store, there are lots of diamonds for you to pick from and then you make a decision that this is the one that you want. Why? Because it just might stand out to you. It might be the cut that you like, it might be the clarity that you like, it might be the, the carrot and the weight that you like, but the person buys it because that's so.

Speaker 1:

I need you to treat yourself like you are that valuable and I'm not going to and I'm just talking to myself right now. I know that you may be listening to me, but I'm excited about not having to convince anyone that I am worth it because, baby, if you don't see all of the value that is in this girl here, that's your loss, not mine. If you don't see all that I can bring to you, that is your loss, not mine. If you don't see how I can help you elevate to the next level, that is your loss, not mine. And I'm not just talking about in relationships. This could be friendships, this can be at your job, this can be wherever your value is you, the gifts, the talents, all of those things that you have. They see the external, but they don't get a chance to see all of the internal workings of you, all of the inner workings of you, and you don't have to just give that to anybody. That should be special, that should be reserved, it should have VIP seated, vip seated.

Speaker 1:

So I need you to treat you differently, because people are only going to treat you the way that you treat yourself first. So how do you talk to you? How do you go out in the world? In the world, how do people see you? That's how we have to begin to show up. That's how we have to show people that I am who I am and you're going to like it or not, and if it's not for you, cool.

Speaker 1:

But I am called to a people that will take all of what I have to offer and its value and handle it with care. So let me leave you with this If things of value are always handled with care, then you, my friend, deserve nothing less. And I need you to ask yourself this week where have I left my worth unprotected? Where have I let people handle me without gloves, without care, without intention, and then decide, so starting today, that you are putting yourself back in the case. You're not hiding, you're protecting. You're not becoming untouchable. You're becoming intentional, because what's valuable is always worth the care. So if today's episode spoke to you, share it with somebody who needs the reminder that their worth is not negotiable. And remember stop living like your ordinary when God designed you extraordinary. Until next time.