Grieving The Year You Expected

The mic failed, the plan shifted, and what emerged was the conversation many of us needed: how to grieve the year we thought we’d have without losing the hope we still carry. We name the quiet disappointments that rarely get a ceremony—missed timelines, tired hearts, stretched boundaries—and we talk about why skipping straight to “the lesson” often leaves a heavy residue that shows up later in our bodies, our relationships, and our ability to rest.

I share candidly about a stretch of years that felt weighty, the perseverance that kept me moving, and the emotional tax of pushing through without refilling the well. From there, we map the terrain of hidden grief: the loss of expectations, the ache of timing, the fatigue of constant growth, and the sting of outgrowing people and places that once fit. If your hope feels quieter these days, you’re not broken—you’re likely carrying more than you realize.

Together we practice a gentler path forward. We separate timing from meaning—delay is not denial, quiet is not absence, unfinished is not wasted. We honor what actually grew this year: discernment, boundaries, self-trust, resilience. And we close with simple language you can borrow to release pressure and make space for what’s next: I release the version of this year I expected. I honor the lessons and the losses. I make room for what is still unfolding.

If you’re craving relief, clarity, or just a place to set the weight down, this conversation offers both language and calm. Listen, breathe, and then tell me what you’re releasing as you step into a more aligned season. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find these words.

Chapters

• 1:47 A Scrapped Episode Becomes A Pivot
• 3:41 Naming Disappointment Without Shame
• 5:29 Hidden Grief And Silent Losses
• 8:12 When Grief Goes Unacknowledged
• 10:34 Personal Year Of Weight And Wear
• 13:05 You Didn’t Lose Hope, You Made Room
• 15:54 Separate Timing From Meaning

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 1:12

So let me go ahead and get this out the way because you know I share everything when it comes to my missteps, and this was not the episode that was supposed to drop this week. Well, I recorded the full episode and didn't realize that my mic had gone deep. So anytime anything like that happens when I am recording, I pay very close attention to it. And for me, that also means was that what I was supposed to be sharing? Was that what you all needed to hear from me this week? Was that indeed what I was supposed to be uploading for you all? And so I went back to the drawing board. I went back to the drawing board and asked the question, what exactly is it that you all need? What exactly is it that I have been feeling over the last few weeks? And what I realized is I believe that this is going to hit you the same way that it hit me. And so I just want to start this out with something extremely honest because I believe that some of us, and when I say us, we go through this journey together. So when I'm saying us, I'm talking about you and I'm talking about me. In this season, I believe that some of us aren't sad because we did something wrong, or I shouldn't say sad, maybe disappointed, uh, whatever the word is that you need to replace with that. But I believe that there was some disappointment that happened throughout this year, and because of those lessons, it required more of us than we expected. Some of us were expecting more out of 2025, and it just was not giving. 2025 was like, oh, we're gonna play tug of war, but yeah, you can hold on to this rope and you can keep pulling, but I ain't giving you no more. There were some times when it was a little bit of give and take, but honestly, this was a rough year. And if I'm being completely honest, for me personally, it has been the last few years. Now, I'm not saying that the years were completely awash, I'm not saying that at all. There were definitely some some peaks and and valleys, just like with life, right? But it seemed like there were a lot more lessons, I'll say it that way, that I learned these past few years and specifically this past year, but they they grew me up, they caused me to look at life just a tad bit differently. And again, I believe that we believed this year would look different, that we believed certain things would have come together by now. We believed we'd feel more settled, more rooted, more at peace. And here we are, December. We're still standing, we're still showing up, but carrying just a smidgen of disappointment that we haven't fully named. So today I want to talk about grieving the year that you thought you'd have, that you thought or we thought we'd have, because healing doesn't begin with reframing, it begins with truth. So there are forms of grief that don't get acknowledged because nothing visibly fell apart, but there was still something that shifted. We don't often name grief around the loss of expectations, you know, the future, relationships, or outcomes you sincerely believed would unfold right now. We don't name grief around timing, you know, not that something didn't happen, but that it didn't happen when we needed it to. Or the grief of emotional exhaustion. My gosh, being tired of learning, stretching, and adjusting without rest. Or maybe for you it was the grief who you had to become to get through it, stronger, more discerning, more self-reliant than you planned. The grief of hope fatigue, when belief is still there, but it feels quieter than it used to be, or maybe it's just the grief of outgrowing people, spaces and versions of yourself, y'all. Even when growth was necessary, the separation it still hurts. So these losses don't come with ceremonies or sympathy, they come with silence, and that silence can make you question whether you're allowed to feel this way. And can I tell you something? You are. See, many of us move past grief quickly because we don't want to sound ungrateful or question the process or sit with the emotions we don't fully understand. So we label everything as a lesson before we allow ourselves to feel the loss. But here's the truth lessons still come with weight. See, growth can be meaningful and painful at the same time, and when we don't acknowledge the cost, it shows up later in our bodies, in our relationships, in our ability to rest. So, what do we do when grief goes unknowledged? Unacknowledged? My gosh, cannot get it out. What do we do when grief goes unacknowledged? It often shows up as emotional distance, impatient with yourself and others, feeling disconnected from joy, pushing forward without peace. But I need you to hear me and hear me clearly that you are not behind, that you're carrying more than you realize, and nothing moves freely when it's carrying unnecessary weight. Like I said at the top of this episode, these last few years have just been weighty. There have things that transpired that I would have never thought would have been on my bingo card. I think for me, this year, although has been trying to say the least, the level of perseverance, the level of push-through, the level of smiling when I just didn't have it in me. And then even at the latter part of this year, being able to say that I was just emotionally drained, like being able to pour out and pour out and pour out when there wasn't anything pouring back in. And it's just like, okay, let me lay down and recharge a little bit, put my hand on the charger a little bit to be filled back up. But it was still a trying year, still trying to work in my business, still making sure that I'm showing up for my clients, making sure that I'm showing up and producing episodes each and every week. And still, some nights, if I'm being completely honest, still crying myself to sleep. Because I'm grateful for where I am, but still grieving the loss of things that I have gone through in my life, and it's just like, okay, God, I trust you. And like, we're what is it that we're getting ready to do? What when will the relief come? But I realize that there I have learned so much that I have grown so much, and I know that you all are feeling it as well. There are some spaces in your life where it's just like, can I get a break? My gosh, can I see a a tad bit of of relief? Can I get a little bit of relief? But I I need you to realize, I need us to realize that although we have grieved some things this year that we didn't lose hope. Like, let me make this real practical because grieving the year that you thought you'd have doesn't mean that you're letting go of your hope. It means that you're making room. So although things were transpiring in your life, you didn't lose hope. And how do I know that? It's because you show up and you listen to this show each and every week. You're listening to the sound of my voice even right now. So that means that you know that there is something better, something better is coming. But it but we do have to first thing we need to do is name what didn't unfold. So the clarity, the consistency, the connection, the the breakthrough that was expected. We do have to acknowledge both the lesson and the loss. So we can say things like, This shaped me and it stretched me. Because both are indeed true. We also have to separate timing from meaning, so the delay does not mean denied, quiet does not mean absence, unfinished does not mean wasted, and we also, most importantly, have to honor what grew within us. See, if you even if you didn't ask for it, discernment, the boundaries, the self-trust, the resilience, that growth counts. So although we have now recognized the areas in which we need to grieve, and and we can't just skip past that it didn't happen, what we can do now is we can gently reframe it because some seasons don't give us what we envision, they prepare us for what's next. That doesn't dismiss the disappointment, but it does remind us that this chapter isn't the end of our story. So maybe this year wasn't about arrival, maybe it was more about the alignment, maybe it was it was about us being able to take time and look at exactly where we are and who we have become, and making sure that we are showing up as the authentic version of ourselves, being able to release those things that no longer are going with us where we are headed. Sometimes we have to let things go. Sometimes we have to no longer purchase tickets to the carnival. But we have to be honest with ourselves, and we do have to grieve the process and not try to rush past what has already transpired. Because what will typically happen is you'll rush through it, and you don't realize that you're still grieving what happened until something new pops up, and it's like, oh, I didn't deal with that properly, or I didn't uh release what I was supposed to release, so now you're trying to hold on to the old and and still stretch forth to the new and not realizing that you were supposed to have let that go in the last season, but I do want you to take ownership of where you are today because you did the best that you could, and I I truly believe that. Not just because I'm saying that as your coach, uh, but I'm saying that I'm saying that for me too. I might not have gotten everything right, I might not have always said the right thing, I might not have always moved as fast as I needed to, but I believe that I did the best I could, and so right now I just need you to take a breath with me. And if it feels right, let these words rest with you. I release the version of this year I expected. I release the timelines I attached to my growth, I release the pressure to rush what is still for me. I honor the lessons, I honor the losses, and I make space for what is still unfolding. So you don't have to force closure, you're allowed to close this year gently because your best days aren't behind you, they are ahead of you when you allow yourself to lay the weight down.

SPEAKER_00: 16:52

So take that in. Remind yourself that you have done the best that you you could do. And I just want to thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 17:07

I want to thank you for sitting with me today because life be life in y'all, and every day is a new opportunity for us to show up and be just a tad bit better than we were the day before. So take some time to really think about what it is that you need to grieve this year and go back and listen to this episode. And then if this episode stir stirred something up for you, don't rush to resolve it. Just notice it, write it out, breathe through it. Because grief doesn't mean you're stuck, it means you care deeply, and that matters.