9: Rock Your Confidence: How to Cultivate Body Positivity & Self-Acceptance

Ready to ditch the self-criticism and embrace your amazing body?

In this episode of the Build Strong Women podcast, we're diving deep into body positivity and self-acceptance. We'll explore how to challenge societal beauty standards, love the skin you're in, and cultivate a positive relationship with your body. 

Discover practical tips for appreciating your whole self, overcoming body image challenges, and fostering self-love. Tune in and start your journey to radical self-acceptance! 

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Transcript

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Hi, I'm Laura Orlando and welcome to the Build Strong Women podcast. I believe as women that we are the role models for the next generation of girls. So how do we become the best role models for these young girls? We work hard to become the best version of ourselves, whatever that means to you. It's not easy. It takes work. It takes learning, trying new things, falling down and getting back up again. But that's what we do on the show. We dive deep into how we can grow on the inside. We will learn from women that are on the same journey as us. Just trying to become the best version of themselves. Let's learn together, build our confidence, learn to love who we are so that we can teach the next generation of girls to grow up to be strong and confident women. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of the Build Strong Women podcast. Thank you so much for being here tuning in to this week's episode. So today we're going to be diving into a topic that is close to many women's hearts. It's all about body positivity and self-acceptance. But before we dive into this topic, I want to make sure that you head over to the show notes and make sure that you're on my email list because every Tuesday I send out a new email and it's filled with new ideas and just things to help you on your journey for helping become the best version of yourself. So I want to remind Thank you so much for watching. I'm sure they could give you a list that is a mile long. And if you ask them what they like about themselves, I'm sure the list is like one or two things, if that. So what I want you to do just for a moment is I want you to think about yourself. What negative things pop into your mind? Now what I want you to do is I want you to think about you telling a friend or a family member about those negative things that just popped into your head. What do you think they would do? What do you think they would think? I think for sure that they would think you were absolutely crazy and nuts because they don't believe any of those things that you believe about yourself. And this is exactly what happened. A couple months ago, I was talking to my daughter, Grace, and she brought up an insecurity that she had about herself. And her insecurity was, which I thought was totally crazy, was that she thought that she had a big forehead. And honestly, I did not know what to say when she said She does not have a big forehead. I don't think she does, but she thinks she does. And I was like, what are you talking about? But she was getting mad at me and she was just saying I wasn't telling the truth and to keep looking and things like that. And as we kept talking about her insecurity, she brought up a comment that was made to her back in middle school about her forehead. Someone said something about her forehead that she had a big forehead. And that's all it took for her to have a negative permanent spot in her brain. I mean, she's 17 years old and this is something that happened back in middle school and she still thinks about that. She still believes that about herself. It's crazy. But this is how we all work. We hear one negative thought about ourselves or we think about one negative thing about ourselves and it takes up space in our brains and in our hearts forever. It's really sad. And that's why we need to do the work on ourselves to reprogram some of those thoughts that were told to us or that we saw or that we think about ourselves, especially when it comes to our bodies and our self-worth. So I really wanted to do an episode about body positivity and self because I think they go hand in hand with each other. And I know it's easier said than done to completely and utterly accept every part of your body and yourself and not ever think that anything is wrong with it. It's okay to think, oh, I wish this, I wish that. It's okay. That's just about being human. But we have to start somewhere. We have to start thinking more positively about ourselves and especially our body. So to me, body positivity is about accepting and appreciating our body and all bodies, regardless of the size, the shape, the color, color, the ability, things like that. And the way I define self-acceptance is about embracing our Thank you so much for watching. terrible about yourself or thinking bad thoughts about yourself isn't going to improve your body in any way. And you're just projecting that negativity on yourself. And you could be showing this to the people around you, especially your children. If you're talking negatively about yourself, they're going to hear that and see that. So if we start embracing who we are and the beauty that we have inside of us and really start looking for things that we like about ourselves, it's going to improve our mental health. We'll have better self-esteem. and confidence and the best part about embracing who we are and our flaws and all is we get freedom that is the biggest thing we get this release of pressure on ourselves and we stop worrying about what everyone else is thinking about us wouldn't that feel so amazing to be able to go to the beach Put on a bathing suit and not give a crap what anyone thinks. And look at yourself in the mirror and say, I'm beautiful. I'm beautiful no matter what. Wouldn't that feel amazing? It's such a sense of freedom. And that's what I want for you. I want you to start embracing who you are and start loving yourself for who you are and having those more positive thoughts. Because I know as a woman, I have them all the time, all the time. We just think so negatively about ourselves because we're not beautiful. Perfect. And that's what I kind of want to tie into this right now is I want to talk about the problem with perfection because there's social media and society and they often portray like these unrealistic beauty standards all day long. I mean, if you opened up an app right now, Instagram, TikTok, whatever you want to see, you will see it. You will see these perfect standards. People that have filters on or even if they don't, you are comparing yourself constantly. Our daughters, our girls are seeing this too if they have phones. And how can we not compare ourselves to the idea of perfection? It's constantly blasted into our face all day long and we are bombarded with these messages that make us feel inadequate and make us feel... ashamed of our own bodies so my first tip would be especially for social media and especially if you have a daughter is to tell them to unfollow any accounts that trigger you so it's important to teach them about the triggers that they have because they might not understand it they might be just looking at these people and saying oh my gosh they're so beautiful and I wish I had this I wish I had that you have to understand what's triggering you to make you feel less than and if you are following accounts that make you feel that way you have to unfollow them because it's not helpful helping you with your body image. It's not helping you be more positive about yourself and your body. So just mute them or unfollow them. That's the best advice I have for any accounts that kind of trigger you a little bit and make you feel uncomfortable or insecure with yourself. And trying to be perfect all the time is such a curse in my book. I tell my kids all the time that perfect isn't a word because it's unachievable and unattainable. And I just think that we need to take the pressure off of ourselves. So if you can erase that word from your vocabulary that would be amazing. Perfection is not the goal. No one is perfect. I don't care who you see online, who you see working next to you. It doesn't matter. No one is perfect. So once you understand that perfect is a myth, you start to break down those walls that you had around you that says, once I do this, then I will feel like that. So once I lose five pounds, then I'll feel good. Once I get that new outfit, I will feel so much better about myself. Once I have this new hairdo, I will be beautiful. Absolutely not. Those thoughts don't work You'll always have a new finish line to get to. You're always going to move that finish line. You're going to say, oh, now I need this and now I need that. It's never going to end. You'll never feel satisfied. You have to start to love who you are right now in this moment. And then when you start working on yourself, say you want to lose a couple pounds, you start eating better, you're going to feel better inside yourself because you're doing something that's good for your body and good for yourself. If you start walking outside, yeah, you're going to feel better about yourself because you're doing something for yourself. So I really want to dive into some tips that can help you to cultivate a more positive outlook on your body and yourself. Because I feel as women, we all need this. We all need to work on our body positivity. And I know every single day we think about it, we struggle with it. And just as we get older and going through perimetopause and menopause, things just get harder and worse. So we really have to start right now. We I'm not saying that this is easy. This is really hard work. This is really intentional work that we have to do on ourselves. And once you understand that I need to work on myself and I really need to work on my mindset about who I am. Everything changes because you're making a step forward and not taking a step backward or just staying where you are. So the first step I have for you is just really thinking and challenging your negative self-talk. You need to become aware and reframe those negative thoughts that you have about your body. So I read this quote that I saw online. It says, you become. So if you keep thinking, I hate my legs, every time you put a pair of pants on, then guess what? You're never going to like that part of yourself. If you think you're not pretty enough or not skinny enough, then you will become that thought. You have to start to become aware of your thoughts. Really think about how you think about yourself. Starting today, I want you to just notice. Notice how you think about yourself when you are getting dressed or how about when you're going to take a shower or if you're going to just get ready for the day. How are you thinking about yourself? Take note of those thoughts that you have about yourself just for the day. Are they more negative? Are they more positive? Notice. Notice if you have more negative thoughts to positive thoughts. And then the next day, I want you to start catching those negative thoughts. Tell yourself, that's a negative thought. I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore. And then move on. The power of catching those bad thoughts is what's going to start to reprogram your subconscious. That you're done thinking that way. So when you're getting dressed and you're like, oh, my legs, these pants are fitting so tight. I want you to stop and catch yourself thinking. And I want you to replace that thought, if you can, this doesn't have to happen right away, with a positive thought. But just starting to catch yourself and turn that thought down by saying, I'm done with that, is a great first step. The goal is to maybe turn it around and turn it into a positive thought. But for now, I just want you to catch that negative thought. Every time you have a negative thought about yourself and who you are and what you look like, I want you to catch it. I want you to say, nope, I'm not thinking this way. I'm done with that. And then move on. Catching our negative thoughts is going to help us so much because we're starting to be aware and eventually those negative thoughts will silence a little bit. I'm not saying that these negative thoughts are ever going to go away permanently. Absolutely not because we're human. They're never going to go away. But what we can do is turn them down a little bit so we don't hear them so loudly. That's what I want you to do. Catch those negative thoughts. Make it a point to do that. Okay, the next thing I want you to do, here's another tip, is I want you to start practicing gratitude for your body. I want you to start appreciating all the amazing things that your body does for you. Notice the little things about yourself. Maybe notice how strong you are. Maybe notice that you're having a great hair day one day. Maybe you're going to notice your eyes, how they sparkle in the sun and how you love the color of your eyes. Maybe you bought a new pair of jeans and you love the way that they fit you. Just start having gratitude for those little things about yourself. Notice those little things you like. It doesn't have to be this grand thing that you lost 50 pounds and now you feel better about yourself. Absolutely not. It's the little things that you love about yourself. And have gratitude for the things that your body can do for you. Something I like to do, especially when I am not in the mood to work out and I know I have to get it in because I know it helps my mental health, like I always say, I work out for my mind, is I try to tell myself I get to do this. I get to work out at a gym that I love. I get to go be with people I love. I get to move my body without any problems. I'm not confined to a wheelchair. I am blessed with this body that can actually do a workout. I get to do this. And when I say those words, it helps me and pushes me through the workout. It helps me and pushes me through to get me there. Like I get to do this. So maybe looking at yourself in that light, like I get to have this beautiful hair. I get to have these beautiful blue eyes. I get to be this person. So if you can just start having a little bit more gratitude for the person that you are, the body that you have, the things that your body can do for you. Notice those little things. You will look at your body completely different. So if you already have a gratitude practice, yay, I am so proud of you because it is something that will change your life every morning. Having a gratitude practice is so important. But if you start writing one nice thing about your body in that practice, you will start to appreciate the everything about yourself. So if you already have a gratitude practice and you're writing down all the things that you are grateful for, start writing down things that you're grateful for about your body and who you are and little nice things that you like about yourself. That will help you to start appreciating your body so much more and help you have a more positive outlook on your body. Okay, the next thing we're going to talk about. And another tip that I have for you, this is a hard one for people, especially for me. I don't know why this is so hard for me, is to learn to take a compliment about yourself. I swear, I don't know one woman, including me, who gracefully accepts a compliment. My response always is, oh my gosh, no, no, no. If someone says, oh, you look so great today, I immediately go to no. Think about it. When someone gives you a compliment about the way you look, do you say, oh, thank you so much? Or do you completely divert the compliment and start saying something negative about yourself? Like, oh my gosh, no, my hair is a mess. I didn't even take a shower. I want you to stop doing that. I need to work on this as well, but I want you to start to catch yourself. When you are about to talk down about someone giving you a compliment, I want you to stop and I want you to say thank you and smile. And I know it might feel really awkward at first because we never do this. We're immediately saying no, no, no, but I want you to do this for yourself. This is going to help you practice thinking more positively about your body. So when someone says, oh my gosh, I love how your hair looks today. It looks so great. I want you to say thank you and just smile and you're going to feel really uncomfortable. You're going to feel really awkward if you're used to saying no, no, no and making excuses. But I need you to start doing this. When someone gives you a compliment, I want you to learn to accept it. You have to accept that compliment. This is just going to help you take a step forward in feeling better about your body and who you are. So learn to take a compliment. I'm going to work on that as well. Okay, the next thing we're going to talk about is I want you to start taking self-care seriously. Now remember, I will talk about this until I'm blue in the face. Because it's so much more than that occasional massage or pedicure that you're going to get. Self-care in the context of body positivity goes so much deeper. It's about nourishing your body with healthy foods. It's about moving your body every day with an activity that you like. Remember, we have to pick an activity that we like or we won't keep doing it. It's about prioritizing our sleep, trying to get the best sleep we can. And I know as we get older, it's harder, but just taking that time to really focus on a nighttime routine that can set us up for the greatest sleep and just doing things that bring us joy. When you start being more intentional and you know that you are doing things that are good for yourself and your body and you're just taking care of yourself, it's going to automatically help with your self-esteem and how you feel. about yourself and how you feel about your body on the inside and the outside. Think about it. If you're eating really crappy food, you're not sleeping very well, you're skipping workouts, of course you aren't going to feel like your best. Self-care starts with those simple little things like moving your body, making better food choices, or trying to get better sleep. Self-care is also about taking care of our mental health. I really want to talk about this because it's not just exercising and eating good, which is huge in how you feel about yourself. But I really want to talk about if you feel good mentally, you are more likely to feel better about your whole self. I want you to start thinking about little things that you can add into your life that can help you mentally. Maybe it's journaling. Maybe it's praying. Maybe it's meditating. Maybe it's reading a really good book. Whatever feels good to you that will help you feel better about yourself mentally. from the inside out. So self-care goes in so many ways. It's about those little things that you do every single day to help you feel good inside. And another thing I wanted to add in about body positivity is just making sure that you're surrounding yourself with people that lift you up. If you're around someone that is always talking negatively about themselves and making you feel a little bit uncomfortable because that's all they talk about is how they don't like their hair, they don't like the way they look, they gained a couple extra pounds and things like that. If they're talking about that constantly, that's only going to bring you down. And I know that that can be really hard, especially if it's a close person that you're always around, like a family member or a really close friend you can't always get away from that but you just have to start becoming aware of your surroundings and who you're spending your time with because if you really want to work on your body positivity you really have to be intentional about who you're spending your time with what are you watching on social media what are you consuming what are you around so being really aware of that and intentional is going to help you to have better body positivity because you are surrounding yourself with people that lift you up and make you feel good Another thing I really wanted to just touch on really quick is wearing clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident is going to help you feel better with your body as well. So if you're trying to fit into jeans that you wore when you were 20 and you're 42 years old, that's really not going to work. You're just going to feel bad about yourself. You're going to think, oh my gosh, why can't I fit into my size fours anymore? I used to be able to do that. Why can't I do that anymore? You really have to find clothes that feel good for you and that help you feel confident within yourself. And try not to worry about that number so much. Just look at the clothes and do they look good on you? Do they feel good on you? Do you feel confident in them? That's what you need to worry about. Who cares what size it is? I know that's hard for a lot of women to look past, but I really want you to be intentional about this. And you know what? This makes me feel good. I love this outfit. It makes me feel confident and strong. And whatever you want to say about yourself, If you feel good in it, then do it. Then wear it. Don't try to fit into someone else's idea of perfect or what a woman should look like or what a woman should be wearing. Do what's best for you. So if you find things that you feel comfortable and confident in, then wear them. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. All right, and the last thing I want to talk about is I want you to remember who is watching you. There is always someone watching you and how you show up in this world. Whether it's your daughter, your son, your niece, your friend. If you talk poorly about yourself and treat yourself with zero self-respect, then she sees you doing that. How do you think she's going to treat herself? If you talk about diets and your big legs and how you're not eating that because it'll make you fat, then how do you think she's going to talk about herself? I know it's hard. I know we have to work through a lifetime of our own crap to get to a good place mentally. But I'm telling you, it's so worth it. You are worth it. She is worth it. You won't be perfect. You're going to make a million billion mistakes and regret things you do and you say or what you have said in the past. But guess what? It's not too late. That's the coolest part. You have the chance to get up right now and to start again, to start right in this moment. So as we wrap up today's episode, I want to thank you for joining me on this very powerful and I know hard journey of self-love. We're really trying hard to think more positive about ourself and our bodies and who we are. Remember, you are not alone. We are all in this together. I deal with this every single day. Every woman I talk to, work with, know they are dealing with this too. We are all in this together. We need to support each other. We need to build each other up. If this episode resonated with you, I would be so grateful if you would share it with a friend who might need to hear a little bit of this inspiration and encouragement, and maybe some of these tips will help them. You can easily share this episode by just clicking the little link in the show notes. And I would absolutely love to hear from you. So if you have any topic suggestions, any burning questions, or if you simply just want to connect with me, please reach out and let me know. You can find a link to text me anonymously in Just click the button that says send us a text and it will send me your suggestions, your questions, or if you just really wanted to connect with me, I would love, love, love to hear from you. So try it out. Send us a text over in the show notes. Just click the button. Send me a message. I really want to know what you're working on, what you're struggling with. I'd love to do an episode on it. And as always, I'd love to leave you with an affirmation to take with you on your day. And that affirmation is I am beautiful, strong, and wonderful. Thank you so much for being here and I hope you have a great day and I will see you on next week's episode.