18: 5 Ways to Boost your Confidence Today!

Ready to feel more empowered and self-assured in your daily life? In this uplifting episode, we’re diving into 5 simple and effective ways to boost your confidence today — no matter your age or stage in life. Whether you're a busy mom, a woman navigating a new season, or just feeling stuck in a rut, these practical confidence-building tips will help you take small steps toward a stronger, more intentional you. 

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Transcript

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Hi, I'm Laura Orlando and welcome to the Build Strong Women podcast. I believe as women that we are the role models for the next generation of girls. So how do we become the best role models for these young girls? We work hard to become the best version of ourselves, whatever that means to you. It's not easy. It takes work. It takes learning, trying new things, falling down and getting back up again. But that's what we do on the show. We dive deep into how we can grow on the inside. We will learn from women that are on the same journey as us. Just trying to become the best version of themselves. Let's learn together, build our confidence, learn to love who we are so that we can teach the next generation of girls to grow up to be strong and confident women. Hey guys, before we jump into the episode, I'm excited to share something really close to my heart, my happy habits guide. If you've been craving more clarity, more joy or happiness in your life, this is for you. This guide isn't about fixing yourself or adding more to your already full plate. It's about creating small intentional habits that gently support your mental, emotional and physical well-being. No overwhelm, no hustle, just simple shifts that help you feel more grounded and connected to who you really are. If you're ready to start showing up for yourself in ways that feel good and not forced, the Happy Habits Guide is your invitation. You're not alone in this. I'm right here with you. So make sure you head to the show notes to download this free Happy Habits Guide. Hi guys and welcome back to the show. I'm so glad you're here. Whether you're listening on a walk or driving to work or just taking a moment for you, I am so happy that you're here. And today we're going to be talking about something that comes up all the time when we're talking about personal growth or just feeling better inside and that is confidence. It's that quiet inner strength that helps us speak up and take action and being able to just feel good in who we are and to trust ourselves. And I really want you to understand that you can do these little things each and every day that help you feel good and that can boost your confidence. Now, if you're anything like me, or I'm assuming a lot of women and people in this world, confidence isn't always this constant thing that you're always feeling. You're all the time. It sometimes takes work. It always takes work. And sometimes you feel like you're on top of the world and the other days, not really at all. And I just want you to understand that that is totally normal. We all have these moments when we second guess ourselves or we shrink back and we aren't being our best self or living the life that we want to live because we are lacking in confidence in ourselves. But here's the thing. Confidence isn't something you either have or you don't have. It's something that you build over and over each and every day. Day by day, choice by choice, habit by habit, you are building your confidence. You have to understand that it isn't something that just happens overnight. It isn't that wonderful special person in your life or the person that you admire in your life that has this magical confidence. No, it's something that has to be worked on. It is a skill and you have to work on it every single day. And I have to say, I think that's why I fell so in love with personal development and personal growth because it was like oh my gosh I have the ability to grow my confidence I have the ability to feel better inside I have the ability to do anything I want in my life and I get to choose each and every day how I show up and what I do and what I work on to help myself feel better and that's the amazing thing and that's the thing that I don't think a lot of people understand is that especially girls and that's why I'm so passionate about helping women so that they can help the girls in their life understand that confidence isn't something that the special few have it's for For everyone, you just have to work on it. If you want more confidence in your life, then you have to work on yourself and you have to grow that skill. And that's why I said I loved personal development because you can do anything you want. You just have to put in the work and you have to get outside your comfort zone and you have to do these things that maybe you don't want to do. And that is one of the reasons why I wanted to start this podcast and I wanted to help my daughter and I want to help all the girls that I know in my life and beyond. And so many women in my life, I want everyone to feel good in who they are and have confidence with themselves. So today I want to share five ways that are actionable and simple and powerful ways that you can boost your confidence starting right now. And these aren't about faking it or pretending to have confidence or pretending to be someone you're not, not even a little bit. They're about reconnecting with who you already are inside. I want you to take these actionable things and start doing them each and every day and see if it helps you boost your own confidence. I would love to know because the world needs more women who are confident in who they are, in their values, in their vision, in their voice. And I want you to show the world who you really are inside and not to shrink back and to second guess yourself and to be insecure. My mission is to help women feel their best and to live a life that they are proud of and to feel good in their own skin and to hopefully teach the next generation to do the same thing because being a woman is hard. And trying to be the best version of yourself takes work. And that's what we need to remember. But it's great work because we can live a life that we love. Okay, so now we're going to dive into the five ways to boost your confidence today. So my first tip is to give someone a compliment. And when I first heard this from someone, I was like blown away by it because I'm like, okay, it can't be that easy that you can just give someone a compliment and then you just boost your confidence. But there is actual research that shows that giving someone a compliment actually boosts your confidence. And this shift towards positivity is so contagious, it's crazy. It makes you feel better about yourself. It makes them feel better about themselves. And this positivity increases all around you. So complimenting someone demonstrates that you're actually secure enough to recognize someone else's greatness, which is really cool. Because a lot of times, people that are very insecure, they won't compliment someone else. They will just shrink back and judge that person. They will not give them a true, genuine compliment. And this has to be a true, genuine compliment to boost your confidence. It can't be a fake compliment that you're just like lying and saying, I need to feel better inside. I'm going to give someone a random compliment. Absolutely not. It has to be a genuine compliment. So when you give someone a compliment, you are boosting their confidence. But actually, the person that is giving the compliment actually gets the most out of this. So you Yes, you're going to tell someone, oh my gosh, I love your hair. It looks so beautiful. They're going to feel good inside, but you are going to feel so good because you made someone else feel good. And what I love about this is you're saying, I see you. I recognize you and I am going to tell you and I'm not threatened by your beauty or anything that I'm complimenting you on. This is your sign that you are comfortable in who you are and I don't need to compete with you. So many women want to compare themselves and compete with other people and it's like, no, we don't need to do that celebrate that other person's beauty and that other person's anything intelligence whatever you want to compliment them on it doesn't have to be just looks and I would say don't always just compliment looks I would say look for those little things that you can compliment from someone else every single day if you could just give one person a genuine compliment you will feel so great inside you'll have this positive energy inside of you and that person will notice and you will notice this mental shift inside of yourself that really builds this optimism in your life. And optimism is a key to having confidence. So the next time you're around someone at work or even at a coffee shop, even someone you don't even know, I try to do this a lot, notice something about them and give them a genuine compliment. I'm telling you, it is game changing. And I love to have my kids see me give people compliments, even people that I don't even know that we're passing in the store or wherever. I like them to See you next time. Every single day, mark this down as something that you could do for someone else. Give someone a compliment. This is something that is one of my buckets for my happy habits. It is connection. And one of the connection pieces is really making someone else feel good inside. And when I can give someone a compliment, that is exactly what I'm doing. Okay, so the next thing that we're going to talk about for boosting your confidence today is having a gratitude practice. And having gratitude is... basically life-changing for anyone. Having a gratitude practice, feeling grateful for who you are, what you have in your life is life-changing. And I read this book. It is called The Happiness Advantage and it's by Sean Aker. And he explains that practicing gratitude shifts our mindset from focusing on what we lack to appreciating what we have. And when we do this gratitude practice, we're kind of like rewiring our brain to notice all the positive things in our life. Yes, we're going to have things that are stressful for us and that bring us down and don't make us feel good. Obviously, everyone does. We're human beings. But if we can train our brains to really look for these little good things in our life, we will have so much more optimism and confidence and resilience in our life. Gratitude helps us focus on what we already have instead of what we're always lacking. And I love to do a gratitude practice every single morning. That's part of my promise journal that I do every morning. I write down all the things that I'm grateful for. And what this author has said is that if you write down things that you are grateful for, it has to be within the past 24 hours. And that really makes you think about that time, that day that you spent, okay, what am I grateful for in the past 24 hours it can be yes you can say when I bought my house 20 years ago obviously but things that make you happy and that have bring you gratitude within the past 24 hours is what he says to really focus on it's just so simple to have a gratitude practice you can even have a gratitude practice saying it out loud in a mirror while you're putting your makeup on it doesn't have to be something you write down but I find writing things down and really brainstorming okay what am I grateful for today you know and writing those little things down it just like makes you feel better and it can really boost your confidence Because you can be like, wow, oh my gosh, all of these great things are in my life. I have so much to be grateful for and thankful for. There's no reason for me to walk around and be miserable all the time. I have so many good things in my life. And it just makes you feel better. And I'm telling you, it really helps to rewire your brain to notice these positive things throughout your life. And it can be as simple as... my warm cup of coffee in the morning, my lemon water that I love to drink. It can be so stupid that someone might think that's what you're grateful for. Absolutely I am. Yes, I'm grateful for my family and my kids and everything in my life, but something really small is something that you need to put in your gratitude practice as well. Even those little tiny things that you do for yourself. That's exactly why I created these happy habits too in my life because it's almost stupid how little and funny they are because those little things make me happy and that's great. And if something brings you happiness and joy and gratitude, then it needs to be on your list and it's going to make you feel better and it's going to boost your confidence. I'm telling you, practice having gratitude every single day. You will feel so much better inside. Okay, the third thing that we're going to talk about is being your own cheerleader. So what I mean by this is being Being your number one fan and not looking for external validation and praise to feel good inside yourself. When you act as your own cheerleader, you are speaking to yourself with kindness. You're encouraging yourself. You're building yourself up. You're using this positive self-talk and hopefully replacing that self-doubt and negative thinking and creating a more confident mindset. When you are reminding yourself that you have what it takes and that you have what it takes to succeed in life you are building this whole bucket of confidence that you can pull from at all times of the day. You need to be your own cheerleader. You can't wait for someone to say, oh, you did a great job. Tell yourself you did a great job. Start talking to yourself like you would your best friend. You would never degrade your best friend or put them down or make them feel like crap for things that they did. You would never do that. So I need you to start talking to yourself like you are your best friend. I don't want you to be overcritical. I don't want you to put so much pressure on yourself to be so perfect. Being your own cheerleader means you're celebrating your progress along the way. It's not just about that end goal. And when you start cheering for yourself and lifting yourself up and using that positive self-talk to believe in yourself, you're empowering yourself to do these amazing things in your life. There are going to be times in your life when you're going to want to go do something really brave or do something that's really outside of your comfort zone. And you have to be that cheerleader that encourages you to step outside your comfort zone. You're not going to have that person telling you, go ahead, you can do it. Don't worry, you're not going to fail. You have to trust in yourself. You have to be able to believe in yourself. And so much of confidence comes from self-trust. Believing, you know what, I'm going to be okay if I do this. And if I fail, I'm going to be okay. And if I make it, I'm going to be okay. That is such a huge part of confidence. Knowing that you might fail and you're still going to be okay. So you have to be your own cheerleader. You need to encourage yourself. You need to build yourself up because you have to know that you can trust yourself because life is going to throw things at you and you're not going to be able to always depend on everyone else to catch you to help you to feel good so if you're your own cheerleader and you really build yourself up and become your biggest fan you can't be pulled down and that is the amazing thing about really becoming your own number one fan and biggest cheerleader in your life so that is the next thing that I want you to do is I want you to be the biggest cheerleader for yourself and start talking to yourself like you would your number one best friend. Okay, the next thing we're going to talk about is we're going to talk about another way you can boost your confidence today is to celebrate the wins, even the tiniest ones you have. Okay, so I really want you to think about this. When is the last time you really said, you know what, you did such a great job? You did, Laura. You know what? You are amazing. You did such a good job. I have to say, I really need to work on this. Like I say, I have to intentionally be positive. I have to intentionally work on myself constantly. And this is something I need to work on too, just celebrating those small wins. It's like, no, I didn't get to that end goal. It's okay. You have to be able to celebrate these tiny wins. And I have to be honest that confidence isn't built by celebrating this big, flashy, goal that you made at the end of the road? Absolutely not. It's more about those in-between times that you congratulate yourself and say, you know what, I did a good job. I made a consistent choice. I kept up with my habits. I did something for myself. I said no to this person. It's all those little things that you do in between that builds your confidence. And that's what needs to be celebrated. Those are real wins and they deserve to be seen. They deserve to be celebrated. So here's what I want you to do today. I want you to take inventory of your wins, big, small, messy. I don't even care. Think of something you did this week that the old version of you would have never Okay, and once you have that in your brain, I want you to tell yourself that you're proud of yourself. I want you to celebrate it. And I don't mean you need to shout it from the rooftops and have a party and tell the whole world. No, I just want you to tell yourself that, hey, look what I did. I mean, write it in your gratitude practice. That is enough. You need to celebrate those small things that you do every single day that, you know what, the old version of you would have never done. That is a win right there. If you kept a habit that you wanted to try keeping for a week or two, oh my gosh, that's amazing. Celebrate it. You have to recognize those little wins, that little progress that you're making, and that's where your confidence grows. Like, hey, you know what? I trust myself. I can do this. I can push through that uncomfortable feeling. Trust me, when I was giving up sugar for Lent and those couple weeks in March it was like I swear it was like all of March I was like struggling so bad all I wanted was a piece of chocolate but when I would just be like no I'm gonna just move on from this feeling and you know it was really really hard but I was I would wake up the next morning and be like oh my gosh I was okay I did it it was okay and I know I'm being a little dramatic with the whole chocolate thing but you have no idea how much I love sweets so it just made me feel good like you know what I can do this and that's what I want for you I want you to feel proud of yourself cheer yourself on like we did for the last one. You know what? You would need to be your biggest cheerleader. Celebrate your progress. Celebrate those little wins that you're doing along the way, and you will feel so good inside, and your confidence will keep growing because you're celebrating that progress along the way and celebrating those little wins. Okay, so the last thing that we're going to talk about for a great way to boost your confidence today is I want you to keep a promise to yourself. Now, if you know me, you know this one is really close to my heart. I have a whole episode about how I created these promises that I was going to keep for myself just to help me feel better. I was in such a low place and I was trying to figure out why did I feel like this? Why did I just feel so yucky inside? And my mental health was in the dumpster and I started to realize that I wasn't following through on the things that made me feel good. So I thought, you know what, I'm going to make these promises to myself to help me feel better and if I can follow through on them, will they help me feel better? And that's what I did for 90 days. And After I did this and started creating habits around my promises and following through on them, it completely changed my life and who I am and my mission in my life to help other women feel good inside. And when you make a promise to yourself and you try not to break it, and you know what, you do everything you can to just follow through on that, you start to realize that, oh my gosh, I have what it takes to help myself feel better. I know what I need to do to feel good inside for my mental health and for my joy and everything in my life, and I need to do those things for myself. It's not these big grand things and taking five weeks vacation by myself on an island, even though that would be nice. But it's these little things that I do every single day that help me to feel good. And when I make a promise to myself that I'm going to follow through on something, I try my best to do it. And I'm not going to say that I was perfect. Absolutely not. That's not what this is meant to be. This isn't about perfection. You're not going to create these promises and never, ever break them. Absolutely not. But the more that you understand that if I follow through on this promise and it I know that it helps me feel better. You're going to continue to really create those habits around that promise that make you feel good. And again, making a promise to yourself and keeping it really starts to build that trust in yourself. And that self-trust turns into confidence. And when we start believing in ourselves and then we start trusting ourselves and we don't need anyone else's approval around us, we don't care what other people think of us because we know that we're happy inside and We're making decisions that make us feel good. Your self-esteem starts to skyrocket. Your confidence starts to skyrocket. So what I want you to do is I want you to do something really simple. I want you to make one promise to yourself and then just try to keep it. Even if you try to keep it for two days. Even if you try to keep it for 24 hours. Just try. Just make a promise to yourself that is very, very simple. If it is, you know what, I'm going to drink three glasses of water today because I never drink enough water and I'm always dehydrated and feeling blah. I don't care how simple it is. I want it to be simple. I want that first promise to be the simplest thing that you can do. And once you do this and you actually... follow through on your promise and you keep that promise to yourself, I want you to pause for a second and I want you to acknowledge it and celebrate that promise that you made to yourself and that you followed through. You are building trust in yourself and you are becoming the kind of woman that you want to be. You are becoming the best version of you every time you keep a promise that you want to yourself. I don't want this to be hard. I don't want this to be something extra that you have to pour into your life. Absolutely not. We don't have time for that. It's all about this quiet consistency that you are going to do every single day by creating a promise and creating these little habits around that promise to keep you going forward. Because confidence is something that happens over time. It grows and it grows the more that we work on it and it builds upon each other. And that's what I want you to understand. You don't just wake up and have confidence one day. You have to work on it over and over again. And you know what? these promises and habits that I created in my own life it's something I have to work on every single day I created a journal for myself to keep me accountable to keep me intentional every single day so that I can feel good inside myself because that's all I want I want to become and be on this journey of being the best version of myself at all times of the day I want to feel good I want to keep growing I want to show my kids how to do the same and I want the same for you so make one One promise to yourself, keep it for, even if you have to keep it for two hours, I don't care. Do it and celebrate it. Celebrate that promise being held. Congratulate yourself and you will believe in yourself. And the next day, you know what? Say, I'm going to make this promise and I'm going to do it for two days. I'm going to do it for three days. I'm going to do it for a week. And if you have to journal about it and if you fall down, guess what? You get another chance. You get to get back up and go again. You get to do it again. It doesn't mean you're done or you failed. Absolutely not. I fail at my promises and my habits a lot. And I don't beat myself up. I just get back up and go again. That's what this is all about. So I hope you learned something new today and that you are inspired and motivated for five ways that you can boost your confidence starting today. So one, I want you to give someone a compliment. I don't care if you know them or not. Give them a compliment. It's going to make you feel good inside and it's going to make them feel good inside too. It's a double whammy. Number two, start a gratitude practice. Even if you're just thinking about things you're grateful for as you put on your makeup in the morning, do it. It's going to help you. But if you have a journal for this gratitude, it's going to mean a lot you can look back at your gratitude i love doing that it's really fun Number three, be your own cheerleader. You don't need someone telling you that you're doing a great job. Tell yourself you're doing a great job because you are going to build that positive self-talk inside of yourself and it's going to replace that self-doubt that we all have inside of us. We all have self-doubt. We all don't think we're good enough so many times during the day. But if you become your biggest cheerleader and your number one fan, it's going to help you build your confidence. Number four, celebrate those tiny small wins. Even if it's the promise that we're making in number five. If you commit to a promise and you do it, celebrate it. Celebrate those tiny things. Celebrate, hey, you know what? I got up today this morning and I went and worked out. I'm going to celebrate that. Even if I only did it one time that week, I don't care. It's something that my old self would have never done. Celebrate those small wins. And number five, keep a promise to yourself. Keep a promise to yourself that helps you to feel good. Pick something that you know is going to make you feel good and make your life a little bit better or happier or bring more joy in your life or peace. And I want you to follow through on it. Something really, really small. Just try it, even for just 24 hours. I want you to make a promise and keep it. And then I want you to celebrate it because you are going to feel so much better inside. And you're going to say, you know what? I can do this. And you are going to start believing in yourself, having more confidence within yourself and that's all that I want so I hope that you have a wonderful day I hope you learn something new and if you did and this episode was helpful it would mean the world to me if you shared this podcast with just one person I want to grow this podcast and help as many women as I can and if you just share this episode or this podcast with one person it would mean the world to me and it would help me grow and continue to keep doing this podcast but I want to remind you to head over to the show notes and make sure that you download the free happy habits guide because this guide is going to help you create these tiny small easy doable habits that are going to help you feel good inside in all of these areas in your life I unintentionally created this framework and I started thinking about it like oh my gosh all these little things that I'm doing every day have helped me feel good in different areas of my life and I want to help women create these habits for themselves it has everything to do with your own life and what you want has nothing to do with my habits incorporating my habits in your own life you're creating your own. So head over to the show notes and download that for you guys because it's going to walk you through step by step how to create these little habits within your life so that you can start feeling good in all areas of your life. It's going to be a game changer for you. I've seen that so many people have already downloaded it through the show notes and I'm so excited. So I want to end this episode with an affirmation to help you through your day and that affirmation is, I choose to believe in myself even when it feels uncomfortable. Growth begins here. So I hope that you have a wonderful day and I will see you on next week's episode.