When "Just Stay Positive" Isn't Enough: Embracing Authentic Wellness

Ever been told to "just stay positive" when you're genuinely struggling? That well-intentioned advice might actually be what experts call toxic positivity – a phenomenon where we dismiss real emotions in favor of forced cheerfulness. After my fourth canceled hot air balloon adventure (yes, fourth!), I found myself reflecting on how we can balance optimism with authenticity.

Real wellness isn't about pretending everything's fine when it isn't. It's about creating space where you can be both grateful and exhausted, hopeful and overwhelmed. True healing—whether physical, emotional, or hormonal—requires honesty, not perfect positivity. Instead of saying "just be positive," try "it's okay to feel what you're feeling." Rather than "you should be over this by now," consider "healing takes time." These small shifts in how we talk to ourselves and others can create room for genuine growth.

When life gets chaotic (and doesn't it always?), micro habits become your secret weapon. You don't need an hour at the gym—five minutes of movement matters. Meal prep doesn't require your entire Sunday—just chop extra veggies while making dinner. Set a timer for 3-5 minutes after meals to move your body, balancing blood sugar and aiding digestion. These small, consistent actions eliminate guilt while still moving you toward wellness goals. Progress doesn't have to be perfect; it just has to be possible. And if you're curious about my personal approach to gut health and hormonal balance, join my upcoming Sip and See webinar where I'll share exactly what's working for me and my clients. Text me at 913-392-2877 or check the show notes for details on how to register and receive samples to try during our session. Whatever your wellness journey looks like, remember you don't have to face it alone—or with a fake smile.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Spandex and Wine

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Spandex and Wine podcast. I'm your host, robin Hackney, and I'm so happy that you're here. This podcast is a place for conversations about balancing a healthy lifestyle and being happy more specifically, happy hour. Together we'll explore all things wellness and wine. I hope you learn a little, laugh a lot and, along the way, know you're not alone on this balanced wellness journey. Ready to jump in, pour something in your glass that makes you happy, because it's time for Spandex and Wine. Hey, friends, welcome back to the Spandex and Wine podcast. It's me, robin Hackney, your host, and at this moment I should be getting in my car and driving to a little tiny local airport and getting in a hot air balloon ride.

Speaker 1: 0:52

After I went skydiving this past August which I absolutely loved, except for the hard landing on my butt, if you remember that story I had a friend reach out to me like a month later and she said hey, I have this gift certificate for a hot air balloon ride. Would you like to go? And I'm like absolutely, I would like to go. So we set out. It was like maybe a month later after that call and we got to the airport, we all loaded up in the van, the basket and the balloon are attached to the trailer on the back and we're driving to the site to take off. Everything seems perfect. We get out and they blow up a little balloon and they release it into the air and of course it got I don't know, maybe 25 feet in the air and then it took off to the south and he's like, oh sorry, it's too much wind. And of course we were crushed. But he said what could happen is we could get swept away or we could land hard and all of us fall on top of each other. So none of us wanted that. So we rescheduled, and then the weather was bad on that day, and then we rescheduled again, and the weather was bad on that day, and today was the fourth reschedule and it's too windy so we're not going. So I don't know if God is telling me do not go up in a basket attached to a giant balloon, with other people shoved in there with you, or if I should just remain positive and know that it'll eventually happen.

Speaker 1: 2:14

But it got me thinking about a phrase that I heard the other day. So you've probably heard things like just stay positive or look on the bright side, or everything happens for a reason, and all of those things you've probably heard more times than you can count, right? I mean, we've all said it. But let's talk a little bit about toxic positivity, what it is and why it can actually do more harm than good. I mean, I'm a pretty positive person, so for me to take a look at this at a different angle is kind of interesting.

Speaker 1: 2:48

So toxic positivity is the belief that, no matter how difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. Okay, it sounds harmless at first, but here's the problem it dismisses real emotions. It tells someone struggling with anxiety, grief, burnout or even hormonal imbalances that they should just smile through it instead of facing what's really going on. And again, that's hard for me. I am a positive person, I am very optimistic. So let me tell you that healing, whether it's physical, emotional or hormonal, doesn't come from pretending everything is fine. So toxic positivity might also sound like at least it's not worse. Just think happy thoughts.

Speaker 1: 3:38

Everything happens for a reason. I think I already mentioned that one Good vibes only. And when you hear those things in the middle of real pain, it can feel isolating. It shuts down space for honesty, healing and connection. So what do you do. Instead, we can practice real positivity, which means we can hold space for two things at once. Can hold space for two things at once. You can be grateful and exhausted. You can be hopeful and overwhelmed. You can be working on healing your gut or balancing your hormones and staying having tough days at the same time.

Speaker 1: 4:18

So here are a few healthy swaps for toxic positivity. Instead of just be positive, maybe try it's okay to feel what you're feeling. I'm here for you instead of. You should be over this by now. Try healing takes time. Be gentle with yourself Instead of look at the right side. Try. This is hard. What support do you need right now? Do you see the difference If you're on a wellness journey, whether it's gut health, hormone balance, stress management, or you're just trying to feel more like yourself?

Speaker 1: 4:55

You need truth, not toxic cheerleading, and you don't have to fake it till you make it. You get to feel your feelings and still have one small step toward healing, and that's something that I'm really trying to work on myself, because I do think I say those messages a lot to people, and it doesn't mean that I don't see their pain or I don't empathize with them. I do try and see the positive side of things and I love a realist. I mean, I can so appreciate a realist. I love, you know, like one of my sisters actually, most of my sisters actually are realists and they will just tell me how it is and I really appreciate that. There's something that is just so comforting about their honesty and I am going to be working more on that. So if I have been someone that has done that to you in the past, you know, please accept my apologies. I meant it in the best possible way and I think we can still stay positive but be real at the same time.

Speaker 1: 6:02

All right, okay, so let's talk about something different. Let's talk about something that affects all of us so trying to stay healthy while juggling a full schedule. So, whether you're running a household, building a business, working nine to five or doing all three at the same time, it's tough to prioritize your well-being when life gets chaotic and I know, like young moms, it is so extremely hard. I remember, I remember the days I was doing daycare. Well, actually, well before that, yeah, I guess I was going to school at night, working full time. Then I started having kids. So then I was doing daycare in the morning, had a full-time job, going to school in the evening and it's hard to fit all those things in. I feel you, and now you know I have my fitness business, I have my podcast, I have my Plexus business, I have my podcast, I have my Plexus business. I get that. It's hard to balance everything. I have days where it's hard for me to get my workouts in. I've had to set my clock even earlier so I can go in and at least get half a workout in. So here's my advice Focus on micro habits.

Speaker 1: 7:10

You don't need an hour at the gym to stay strong. You have five minutes. You can do a quick set of squats or walk around the block. Anything is better than nothing and I think I shared this last week that you can break it into muscle groups and, if it needs to be super, super short, like you just do biceps on Mondays, quads on Tuesdays. However, you want to break it up, break it up.

Speaker 1: 7:32

Do what you can do, and meal prep doesn't have to mean gourmet. It can be chopping veggies while you're making dinner. It's about fitting health into your life, not life into your health plan. There are so many little small healthy habits that you can create as you go along All right. So try setting a timer after each meal and move your body for three to five minutes. I've mentioned that before. That's really good for blood sugar. A quick walk or stretching Even while you're doing the dishes can help balance blood sugar and get your digestion moving.

Speaker 1: 8:08

So think about how you can fit small micro habits into your schedule. So, number one you don't have that guilt at night like, oh my gosh, another night that I didn't get my workout done or I didn't do this, I didn't eat great. What can you do? That is small, that you can fit into your schedule. And if you're struggling and you're not sure where to start, I would love to support you. My new VIP lounge is a great place to get small, doable tips and real encouragement for only $12 a month. So, and if you want one-on-one help, let's connect. I'm here for you there too, all right, so you can text 913-392-2877. If you'd like to get started on that VIP lounge, I'll make sure that I put the link in the show notes as well.

Speaker 1: 8:57

Progress does not have to be perfect, it just has to be possible and, like I said, that starts with one small choice at a time, all right, okay, so let's see, I wanna lean in just a little bit here. I am hosting a special Gut Health Sip and See webinar. You have seen my post, you've seen my reels, you've heard me talk about it and it's just going to be me. This is not a corporate sales pitch. There's no fluff. I am going to share what I've been doing to heal my gut, how it's changed my life and how it's helping my clients and my friends and my family feel their best too. This is going to be an open, honest conversation about health, hormones, happiness, and if you're the kind of person who loves helping others and wants to explore the business side of this, I'm here for you. I'm going to talk about that at the end a little bit too.

Speaker 1: 9:50

This opportunity can be anything from a fun side hustle to a life-changing source of income, and I'll explain how all that works on the webinar. But my main focus will be just letting you know what it is that I'm doing. I've reached out to so many people and I send so many messages and I'm like, okay, this is going to be a great way to get people together all at the same time, so I hope that you will put that on the calendar. I have two sessions that I'm offering Wednesday, may 28th, at 1230 pm Central, and then another that same day, may 28th, at 6 pm Central. So I want you to get pre-registered, and if you pre-register by May 19th, I'll send you samples for this gut health sympathy so you can kind of taste some of the products.

Speaker 1: 10:37

I'm not going to send you pills or capsules, sorry, just some of the pink drink so you can sip along with me during this event, and I'll make sure that I put the links in the show notes. It's going to be in my newsletter. It was in the newsletter this past week. I'll continue putting that in, so make sure you look for that. All right, you guys. Thanks so much for hanging out with me today. So, whether you were nodding along during the toxic positivity chat, you were taking mental notes on fitting health into your packed calendar or grabbing your spot for the gut health webinar, I'm so glad that you are here. Don't forget to check the show notes and all the links and details that are there and, as always, keep laughing, keep lifting, keep living your healthiest, happiest life. All right, until next time, friends. Thank you for listening.

Speaker 1: 11:30

If you're enjoying this podcast, be sure to follow Spandex Wine so you don't miss an episode. To do this, just go to the podcast and click subscribe or follow. Wherever you're listening, look for the plus sign or follow button. This is one of the best things that you can do for the podcast. If you'd also be willing to give a five-star review, that would be amazing and much appreciated. Lastly, please share an episode with a friend or five to keep the love going, and join the spandex and wine community in our private facebook group by searching spandex and wine. Feel free to reach out to me at any time by emailing info at spandexandwinecom or text me at 913-392-2877. I appreciate you, thank you.