#35 Gentle Nudge: Don't Be A Complexifier

Have you ever turned a simple task into a full-blown project? We’ve all been there! In this episode of Be the Sun, Not the Salt, Dr. Harry Cohen and Connie Fontaine tackle Chapter 14, “Don’t Be a Complexifier,” from Harry’s book. Together, they unpack why simplicity is not only powerful but also essential for improving our lives and relationships.

We’ll explore how overthinking and complicating things can weigh us down—and how keeping it simple can be a game-changer, everywhere from military strategy to daily life.

You’ll also hear practical tips on how to:

• Avoid overthinking and focus on what truly matters
• Build habits that reinforce clarity and ease
• Recognize when complexity is sneaking into your day—and stop it in its tracks

While simple ideas might seem obvious, they’re not always easy to implement. That’s why Harry and Connie emphasize the importance of daily practice and gentle nudges to stay on track. By focusing on small, consistent actions, you can create a life that’s lighter, stronger, and more fulfilling.

Tune in for personal stories, actionable advice, and your weekly reminder to keep it simple—for yourself and those around you!

Links & Resources

Be the Sun, Not the Salt - book

To explore the book, or for more episodes, information, tips and tools to live a more heliotropic life, visit us at bethesunnotthesalt.com and find us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok.

Transcript

​[00:00:00] 

Harry Cohen: welcome to the, be the sun, not the salt podcast. My name is Dr. Harry Cohen, and I'm the author of be the sun, not the salt. I'm joined by my co host chief super spreader, Connie Fontaine. And today we're going to get into chapter 14.

Connie Fontaine: Yes. Chapter 

Harry Cohen: be a complexifier. 

Connie Fontaine: Yes. And I love that you hold up the book. Not everyone will see that, but anyone watching us will, which is great. So don't be a complexifier. I think in this one, the most important thing is on the right hand page. I love it reminded me this morning, keep it simple.

And I think when, when you wrote this chapter, we've talked about it a couple different ways, how we make other people feel, but let's start with ourselves first. How do we not be a complexifier for ourselves?

Harry Cohen: And that's the main point, which is don't overthink this. Think about an act in a [00:01:00] way that is helpful and uplifting to others. Don't, you know, behave in a way that is making Other people feel unpleasant, period, full stop as best you can do the positive stuff that you already do more, do the negative stuff that we do less. I'm done.

Connie Fontaine: Yeah, simple. And that's the way you wrote the book, intentionally. And what I love about the book is you can start in the middle, you can start at the end, you can start at the beginning. Every day you can pick up a new chapter and it's reflective. And I think when, sometimes when you tell people, it's only how many pages?

You know, I think there's this reflection of, oh, shouldn't there be more? Isn't there more meat? And there's no need to. These are all simple ideas. And don't be a complexifier. It's pretty simple. 

Harry Cohen: In fact, it was really inspiring. Once I was giving a talk at the United States army counterintelligence organization and the general. Wanted to meet me because he had gotten a hold of the book and when I went over to meet him, he said, [00:02:00] we are just talking about your book today, page 33. And I now, I didn't know what page 33 is, but I knew now it's keep it simple. They, in their work, were referencing this idea of, let's keep it simple. Occam's Razor is a scientific principle, which means the simplest solution is usually the best. Or the simplest answer. 

Connie Fontaine: And why do you, why does it take so long to get there sometimes? No, you're right. So it is, it is about keeping things simple for yourself. I think the practice of, of being heliotropic is simple. And so how do, how do you do that every day? I 

Harry Cohen: think about it every day. So there are lots of things that I do to answer your question. The first thing I do is every single morning, and I just started this, this year, reading the one chapter based on the day of the month, and I think about it for myself, how am I going to apply this? Today's was apologize well, and I already in a previous conversation with you, Connie, I [00:03:00] apologize to you because I had an in my head. I it's like, it's a, um, a tool in my pocket that I can use like a Swiss army knife. That's how I apply these simple principles to remind me I can be my best self today

Connie Fontaine: And our listeners would agree, I'm sure, that every chapter, every idea is simple, and yet we don't always do it. And I think that, you know, another chapter will, I guess I shouldn't say, knowing isn't doing, but I do know all these chapters and they are all simple ideas. Why, if they're simple, don't we always do them?

Harry Cohen: because we have many, many, many, many, many habits.

And reasons, good and bad for doing stupid things, and unless we look at them and stare at them, or somebody points them out, or we realize them ourselves, we'll keep doing them until

we stop. I was chatting with our podcast producer about this very topic and um, [00:04:00] I was reminded that this requires continual nudging, effort, reinforcement. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

Keeping it simple. Simple reminders are good.

Connie Fontaine: When you equate it to lifting weights to or any other kind of repetition practice, if you continue to do something, it gets easier. It becomes more, whether it's a habit or whether it's, you know, just your body gets stronger, your brain gets stronger. It's, it's all the same. Right. 

Harry Cohen: you for myself, this work never gets old. I'll never get tired of thinking about, well, how can I keep it even simpler for myself? How can I make this more real? And that's what we want for everybody. This is. Simple and in many cases, easy and guaranteed good. [00:05:00] If you're struggling with this, something ain't right. You know, keep it that simple. I can be kind today to myself and to somebody else. Period.

Connie Fontaine: when you're not, when you're not being simple, we're not keeping it simple for others that can be salt on their roots.

Harry Cohen: Totally, oh my God, have you ever listened to someone make something so complex that your head hurts as you're listening to it?

That's what we do sometimes, like six extra sentences to say something that could have been done in one sentence.

Connie Fontaine: So we've done that. So we should probably stop because we don't want to be complexifiers today. So chapter 14, don't be a complexifier. Hopefully this was helpful. This is a gentle nudge for each of us, Harry and I every day when we wake up. So hopefully it was a good gentle nudge for you as well. Please share the content.

Please follow our podcast and thanks for listening. Bye.