#39. Gentle Nudge: Do the Next Right Thing

Ever had one of those "Oops, I messed up!" moments? In this mini-episode, Dr. Harry Cohen and Connie Fontaine are back with a game-changing mantra in Chapter 18: "Do the Next Right Thing"!

Spoiler alert: We're all gonna be salty sometimes, but it's what you do next that counts!

Harry's hot takes:

• 🧼 Clean-up on aisle "Me": Why your screw-ups are actually your best teachers 
• 🏃‍♂️ Speed is key: The magic of fixing things ASAP (but it's never too late to make it right)
• 🧠 Trust your gut: If something's nagging you, it's probably worth addressing

Connie's real-talk corner:

• ⏰ The late apology: Why acknowledging your tardiness is a total game-changer
• 📱 Text promises: How to gracefully recover from forgotten follow-ups

Perfect for anyone who's ever wanted a do-over button for life! Tune in for laughs, practical wisdom, and your weekly reminder that it's never too late to course-correct.

Links & Resources

Be the Sun, Not the Salt - book

To explore the book, or for more episodes, information, tips and tools to live a more heliotropic life, visit us at bethesunnotthesalt.com and find us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok.

Transcript

Harry Cohen: [00:00:00] Welcome. My name is Dr. Harry Cohn. I'm the author of Be the Sun, Not the Salt. And this is our gentle nudge series talking about different chapters. I'm joined by my cohost, Connie Fontaine, chief super spreader, Connie.

Connie Fontaine: That's right. And so for the Gentle Nudge series, as we, as we go through the book chapter by chapter, um, these are for us too. So we're, we're learning. These are great reminders and hope you're enjoying them as well. So for chapter 18, this one's so important because we are not perfect as much as we'd like to be. Do the next right thing. And learning that is so important.

Harry Cohen: And the beauty of that one, Connie, is it's guaranteed to be our teacher. Our screw ups. Our, our best teacher and the solution is no harm, no foul. Just do the next right thing, whatever that might be. It's so simple [00:01:00] and so easy and it evokes forgiveness for yourself and immediately you can take some action to fix the mess that you just made.

Even if it's a baby mess and that's the beauty of this. It's easy to do. Just do the next right thing, whatever that might be. It's simple. So our screw ups are guaranteed. We are guaranteed to be salty sometimes. And when we notice it, just, 

Connie Fontaine: is we are. This is who we are. We're not perfect people and, um, sometimes these do the next right things are simple and fast and easy and sometimes they're hard. Do a little soul searching and, um, I think ideally you do the next right thing right away, right?

Harry Cohen: that would be ideal. If we can notice it the moment, I'm sorry, I interrupted you. I mean, just if I interrupt you, I can immediately be aware of it and go, I'm sorry, I interrupted you. Go ahead.

I apologize, you know, and

[00:02:00] immediately do it. But sometimes, um, It's, oh my God, I was reflecting on what I said in the meeting.

I want to think about it and see if I can clean it up later in the day or the next day, as soon as you can to the cleanup of the, you know, aisle L three. We got a mess. Whether you made it or you, you know, you saw it, you need to do something about it, but it, it just takes away all of the, I can't believe I did that.

Don't worry about it. You just, you just do the next right thing.

Connie Fontaine: Mm hmm. When I think reflecting back, sometimes it's harder. Do you? Do you want to open that can of worms? The answer is chef. You've got a feeling. Yeah, go right back and and take the time to apologize. And maybe we should talk a little bit about that chapter, which we've already done was apologize. Well,

Harry Cohen: Well, I think we could always learn and practice apologizing more better frequently, immediately, more effectively, um, authentically. And, and this is [00:03:00] forever. We will forever make boo boos. The beauty is don't beat yourself up. Just see if you can know what is what is the right thing to do and do that some more.

Connie Fontaine: So it was a great example in the moment of, I just, you know what, I just realized I interrupted you. I'm sorry. What were you saying? Easy. What about you have walked away from a contentious maybe, or maybe it wasn't contentious. You just realized that you were kind of, you know, rushing somebody out the door.

How do you go back and what do you think the right words are to use as an

Harry Cohen: know every circumstance is different, but here would be my two cents on that. Listen, this might not have been a problem and you might not have even noticed, but I feel like I gave you the bum's rush. Um, and I want to just apologize for that. Um, if in fact that's what you felt. period, short, sweet, and I always like this notion.

If you feel something, yeah, you should probably check it out. Whatever the it is, generally [00:04:00] what we feel, you know, I have a gut feeling is not crazy, so you should check it out and see what's real about what it is. Your intuition says, you know, if you smell it, there's probably something there is what I 

Connie Fontaine: That's right. And if it's nagging you a little bit now, it's gonna nag you even more the next time you meet with that person.

Harry Cohen: And, and you can check out what that nagging feeling is. Um, I want to try and do the right thing, and I think I might have made a boo boo. Let me just run this by you. And the person can say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm glad you saw that too. Or, no big deal. Ferris wheel. It was nothing. You know?

Connie Fontaine: And even if they say that it probably was still,

It was still meaningful

Harry Cohen: was still meaningful that you went back and said, listen, I'm really trying to do the next right thing when I think I make a mistake.

Connie Fontaine: Mhm. Trying to think if there's something out there for me right now. That's, I mean, it's one of those things. That's the little gentle nudge. Think about that. 

Harry Cohen: like usually for me, it's, it's, it's simple as, oh, I promised a response to a [00:05:00] text or an email or something and I didn't write it down or it's on my calendar and I forgot and none of them are good excuses and I got to go fix it just today. Is there anything I need to do? Well, there's, 

Connie Fontaine: being late. Don't you get irritated when somebody's really late and they don't even acknowledge it? I mean, I just turned it into a different chapter, but that, I mean, to me, that's an example of if I'm, if I'm late or to your point, if I've forgotten to follow up, if I've not sent you something and I missed my commitment, you'll, I can't imagine I won't apologize because it's, that's something that would bother me a lot. Yeah,

Harry Cohen: are late. Geez, I wonder why. Pot and kettle. Um, so that's okay. 

Connie Fontaine: if you're late, you apologize. You don't just walk in and like no big deal. Yes.

Harry Cohen: uh, and I often try to let somebody know I'm gonna [00:06:00] be late. Yeah.

Connie Fontaine: you and I are in a situation like that recently. We were both texting feverishly, making sure somebody knew that we were going to be late. We acknowledged it. We were sorry.

Harry Cohen: Oh, God.

Connie Fontaine: Yep. It didn't feel great. Well, hopefully this little acknowledgement of all of our own apologies, inspires you to also, think about if it's something that maybe you, maybe not now, but maybe in the future, that you can do the next right thing.

So hopefully you've enjoyed this. You can share it with others. Please invite your friends and family to join you on this journey. And thank you for listening.