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The Rejuvenating Health Podcast
Join Women's Health Nurse Practitioner, Lindsey VanSchoyck for a weekly dose of Precision Medicine as she addresses the hot-button topics specific to Women's Health, Fitness and Nutrition, interviews expert guests and hosts round table discussions with the team of dedicated functional health care specialists.
The Rejuvenating Health Podcast
136 | Peace, Not People Pleasing: Holiday Boundaries 101
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Holiday lights are pretty; holiday pressure is not. We dig into a practical, compassionate plan to protect your peace during the busiest weeks of the year without ghosting your family, sacrificing sleep, or blowing your budget. Our six-part framework blends preparation, mindset shifts, and simple scripts so you can set clear boundaries, avoid people pleasing, and still savor the rituals that matter.
We start with preparation: pre decide which gatherings you’ll attend, how long you’ll stay, and what you’ll bring so exits feel normal rather than dramatic. Then we reframe boundaries as self care, not control—your job is to communicate clearly and follow through kindly, not manage anyone’s reactions. You’ll get word-for-word lines to navigate gift stress, overbooked weekends, political detours, and the classic have a drink push, plus neutral pivots that steer conversations back to connection.
Food and alcohol get a reality check with strategies that protect energy and sleep: balanced meals before the party, hydration, mocktails in a real glass, and choosing special, memory-rich desserts over forgettable treats. We also explore nervous system tools, 4-8 breathing, micro breaks, and visualization, to keep your prefrontal cortex online when tensions rise. From starting new traditions at home to setting spending caps and drawing names, we show how to reduce mental load while keeping the season meaningful.
Finally, we invite you to pay it forward and consider small repairs in strained relationships: a text, a check-in, a kind assumption. Build your boundary blueprint by asking what protects your peace, how you’ll say it, and what backup you need to hold the line. If these ideas help, subscribe, share this episode with a friend who needs it, and leave a five-star review so more people can find the show.
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Setting The Holiday Stage
SPEAKER_02Any views, thoughts, and opinions expressed on the Rejuvenating Health podcast are solely those of the speakers and are intended as such. Please consult your trusted healthcare practitioner for medical advice. Let's go, girl.
SPEAKER_00Hello ladies, welcome back to the Rejuvenating Health Podcast. And we are bringing back an annual favorite that we feel like I feel like we always get asked about this around this time of year. And I don't, I don't think that this episode will drop before Thanksgiving, obviously, but it will end up falling between Thanksgiving and Christmas. So it'll be a good opportunity for you to be able to analyze what occurred during Thanksgiving and then put some different practices into play for uh Christmas or any other get-togethers that you have because um usually for some of us, like this time of year is like, you know, cozy, joyful vibes. But for some people, it also means that you have a spike in cortisol because our calendars are full to the seams and we have all these additional things that we have to get prepared for. And boundaries is a big theme that we get um we talk about a lot in our sessions and also with our health coaches. And so today we want to talk a little bit about how to keep your peace, not just the peace, and prioritizing your health and joy as well.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and if you go back towards a year ago, like we have previous episodes about this and how to be active around the holidays and eat around the holidays and you know, do all of those things. And I feel like I don't know for me, but me personally, like Thanksgiving is like one meal. I don't know, it doesn't cause me a lot of stress. Maybe like the day of Thanksgiving where you're like trying to go to a lot of holiday party, like holiday meals, and maybe being around family members that you don't necessarily enjoy could cause stress. But I don't know, Matt and I are gonna be on an airplane this Thanksgiving, so we're not even doing Thanksgiving.
SPEAKER_00You guys are flying on Thanksgiving Day, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well like Thanksgiving for I'm like it's just a meal. Like my kids are like they don't care about Thanksgiving at all. So we're just gonna take a plane to St. Lucia on Thanksgiving and not even have to.
SPEAKER_00Just a casual plane ride.
Reframing Boundaries As Self Care
SPEAKER_02I know, right? But for this is even following after, but we're gonna walk you through a uh proactive holiday boundary sucks uh success plan with six simple actions you can take. Um so by the end you'll have one boundary that you can kind of hold on to tight as you're going into this holiday season. So kind of the top here are kind of the top struggles that we see, right? Um overcommitting, gift spending spirals. I feel like I was doing this yesterday when I was Christmas shopping for my kids. Um food and alcohol pressure, sleep wrecked by Christmas parties, late nights, um, and the emotional load of people pleasing, guilt, not great family dynamics, all those kind of play play a huge role.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and those are all the things that are gonna make boundaries a little bit more difficult or apply a little bit more pressure this time of year. And I want to make sure that we correct the way that we think about boundaries, right? So I want to reframe this because boundaries are how I care for myself and not how I control others. So very often we see boundaries, we have a negative connotation with them because we think that they are telling other people what to do, when in fact we're just informing other people what I need and how I take care of myself. So your job is to communicate clearly and follow through kindly, not to manage or be responsible for anyone's reactions to the boundary, right? So, what usually tends to happen from a nervous system point of view is there's this sense of pressure, we get an amygdala hijack, that all or nothing mentality comes around, and then it goes into like a freeze or a fawn response, right? Where we, and that's the where the people pleasing tendencies come in. Um, we have a predictable plan, ideally, with some clear language around what we're gonna be doing. And if we add some breath to that, then we can get feeling safe in our nervous system, our prefrontal cortex can come back online, and that allows us to have better choices and it's easier to follow through on. So let's get into the action items.
Prepare And Pre Decide Your Plans
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so we are going to prepare. That's a big one. I feel like that's just big in health. Like if you are not prepared for eating healthy, exercise, sleep, whatever you're doing for your health, like you're setting yourself up for for failure, right? But prepare, plan, don't guess, right? Um, make a gift like shopping, make a gift list and a budget and stick with it. Like I went Christmas shopping for my kids yesterday online, because you can do that online now and hold like it's like a little bit overwhelming. Like my 11-year-old had a$2,000 computer on his Christmas list. I was like, if you think you're getting that, you have lost your damn mind. Like you're 11. Find something else, right? Um, but like know your budget, set in those boundaries and and stick to them, right? Um pre-decide, pre-plan which gatherings you're you're gonna attend, what you're gonna bring, your time windows, all of that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and which ones you're not going to attend. I think that's even more important. Like of court, there's gonna be lots of opportunities. FOMO is not a real thing. What does Dr. Will Cole say? Like, we want FOJO, the or no, JOMO, the joy of missing out, not the fear of missing out. Um, so deciding in advance which things you are going to attend and which things you're not, right? Some scripts like um, we're excited to come from four to seven, right? We'll head out after dessert and we want to make sure that we get home in time for bed because we have an early morning the next day, whatever it is that you're rehearsing, right? Or I'm bringing a, you know, what's everybody bringing? I'm gonna bring a big salad and maybe some roasted veggies this year to make sure that there are veggies because that is one of my needs, right? So if I'm not sure, we get that a lot. People say things like, you know, I don't know if there's gonna be things that are gonna fit within my goals when I go to so-and-so's house for the holiday. It's like, okay, well, bring something that does fit. Guarantee there's probably gonna be turkey or some kind of meat option available. And so then usually what's lacking at these holiday meals are the veggies. So bring some.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I'm not saying like I'm not saying like no one's gonna mock at you for bringing like a veggie tray. Like, oh, I'm gonna be able to do that. And if they do, that is their shit, not yours. Yeah. I mean, I get it. You might not want to like walk in with your pot of green beans or whatever, but who cares, even if you do, but take a veggie tray. Like that is a great appetizer. Like, hey, I just got I brought a veggie tray, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Easy peasy. It goes on the counter. You're not throwing off anybody's like, you know, theme of whatever they were cooking for the meal. So it's like just do you can do what works for you and not cause an interruption or a big scene, or make, or like I promise you, the less you make a big deal out of it, the less of a big deal it will be. It's like just be careful about it.
SPEAKER_02Or like if you can't say no to dessert, like take a healthy dessert that you can still enjoy. And like that's not something weird to take to a party, like, oh, I brought a dessert, but it's a dessert that maybe fits more into my goals, knowing that I can eat this when I can't stay out of the pecan pie or you know, whatever it is that you're enjoying, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um you need to plan, but you also need to adjust your attitude. Um if you go in to the holidays or a holiday party or a family event with dread, it is going to not be an enjoyable experience. And you need to flip your attitude and go in with gratitude. I get it. You might not get along with your in-laws, you might not be excited to be around the people that you're going, but that's on you at the end of the day. They don't care if you don't want to be around them. Like you either go in with the dread mindset or you go in with like, okay, I'm gonna make the best of this and it's gonna be it's gonna be okay. And you might get triggered, right? But you can always do breath work. Um, and you can always do, you know, a four count inhale, an eight count exhale when you're entering a draining conversation or when you're dreading going into someone's house, right?
Scripts For Clear, Kind Communication
SPEAKER_00Yeah, or when their dogs attack you. I know, Jesus. Uh yeah, I think a gratitude mind frame is really important to keep, and it's also recognizing that the energy that I come in with is most likely going to be mirrored back to me, right? So some things to remember or to tell yourself when you're going into scenarios that maybe historically you have a lot of evidence that it hasn't gone your way or that it hasn't been the most enjoyable, right? Remind reminding yourself that like your joy is not up for negotiation. You don't have to allow other people to change the way that you show up. I choose what I carry in any sense. And there are gonna be things that are not mine that come up at this gathering, and I don't have to choose to take that on, right? So control your breathing is gonna be the first one. Take a pause. And then if you need to take some space, take some extra space, right? Like take a two-minute reset, unclench your jaw a little bit, drop your shoulders, relax a little bit. It doesn't have to be that serious, right? And then if you actually do a visualization exercise, you can think about the tension actually physically leaving your body as you're doing that long exhale. Things like that can really help. I know it sounds like, oh, like how's that gonna make a difference if so-and-so is talking, you know, politics or religion? I don't want to deal with that. It does like just give it a try, just practice it. Um, but that mind frame of gratitude going in is gonna be really and really helpful and intentional because that's usually the biggest reason why we're gathering for the holidays anyway. So can you keep that at the forefront? Right. And the next one is keep your side of the street clean. Very important.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, my dogs are going psycho right now, lordy. So with that, like we talked about this just a minute ago, but like you're responsible for your behavior, your commitments, your recovery. You're not responsible for anyone else's mood or attitude or whatever. So how you interpret the situation and how you respond to it is is on you at the end of the day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like I always say when somebody has a problem with something, that's their shit, not yours, right? Or their comment is about their perception, not my worth. It doesn't have to mean anything about me. Things like, thanks for asking. I'm actually, you know, at capacity for this week. So I'm a no when it comes to commitments that you're asked to do that maybe you don't want to. Uh, I don't want to debate that today. Let's talk about something else, right? Can you change the topic? I want to see pictures of your kids or, you know, what's going on with the your garden or, you know, things like that. Like you can pivot to neutral topics if it's really something that you're uncomfortable with. But it's also worth saying, you know, I think we could all benefit from leaning into a little bit more genuine curiosity. And just because someone doesn't agree with me or doesn't have the same frame of mind that I do doesn't mean that they're a bad person or that they're inherently evil. I think that we're in a uh we're in a time of polarization right now where there's like big extremes. And it's really easy to make judgments around people based on opinions that they have or things that they say. But I would urge you that if you are surrounded by people that feel differently about things than you, it's not gonna hurt anything just to lean in and try to genuinely understand their perspective, right? It doesn't mean that you have to change your mind, and it doesn't mean that you're gonna change their mind. Make that not the goal. The goal is just can I just understand where you're coming from? And can I learn something from you? Even if it's something that doesn't change the way that I feel, that's okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you can also say no. I think that that's huge for people to learn right now is that you can say no to anything that steals your joy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's number four. No is not a four-letter word.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. You anything that steals your joy, your health, um whether it be events, travel, gift exchanges, you do not have to say yes to everything. You don't have to go to everyone's Christmas party. You don't have to go to every family event. Like, you do not have to say yes to everything.
Attitude Shift And Nervous System Tools
SPEAKER_00Yeah, or every social engagement with, you know, your your church, your gym, the school. Like there's there's so much that happens this time of year, and it can be very overwhelming because it's not like any of the other responsibilities or things that you have to do go away. It's like we're supposed to stack all of this stuff on top of that, and it's not very realistic. And to be honest, most of that mental load falls on women, you know, as the matriarch of our family. We're the ones that are scheduling everything and making sure that the kids have everything they need and that they're, you know, whatever gift exchange is happening and whatever social events that we're doing, right? Like who's handling all that? Most of the time it is women. And so it's important to recognize if my capacity is not matching my uh my load right now, then how can I adjust that? So if you have an overpacked weekend coming up, right, communicating, hey, we're only choosing one event per weekend. So we'll celebrate, you know, another time with you guys. Or if it's like gift stress, right? Like change up the way that you do gifts. Let's draw names or decide to do experiences instead or set a cap for a limit this year, right? Shit is expensive right now. So the it's it's a good opportunity to change up the way that things have been done in the past. It doesn't have to be that way every year just because nobody wants to rock the boat, right? So, like if there's a tradition that drains you, what if it was okay, we're gonna start a new tradition at home this year? And insert tradition, right? Like it doesn't have to be what's been happening just because no one else has decided that we could do anything different. So I think that's important to remember too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I purely enjoy Christmas at our house now. Like we don't do anything, we go to church on Christmas Eve, and then on Christmas Day, like my parents come over. Like, we don't go anywhere. It's great, but like it's just me and our kids, and it's awesome. Um, because we just don't say yes to anything else.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, but I think people are going back to that, right? Like we've realized, oh my gosh, like there's all this pressure of so much um cultural and societal things that we're expected to do, all these expectations that we're placing on ourselves. And if we can get back to the meaning that's really important around this time of year, it's like we just want connection. We just want to spend time with the people that we love because a lot of us have more time off work. And instead of spending it running around like crazy people, let's do the things that actually bring us genuine joy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I think this year, Christmas is actually kind of good because it falls on Wednesday and Thursday. So like the you have the weekend before and the weekend after, and then you have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in the middle of the week. So I mean, for most people, they probably just take the whole week. I mean, you're not working on Wednesday or Thursday, right? Um you're probably not going back to work on Friday for a day. So it does give you a little bit more time to kind of relax. I I feel like. Um Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Depending on your work or what you celebrate, right? Like you may not celebrate Christmas, but yeah, um, again, like can you look at this as a permission slip? Like, okay, well, this year it's a new season, so we could have new rules. You do something different.
Keep Your Side Of The Street Clean
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Um, number five is know when to say when. Uh, this particularly comes to food and alcohol, right? So if if you're overindulging, um that fuels a lot of stress and poor sleep and anxiety. Um so really set your intentions. Um, don't punish yourself with food. Like I always approach this time of year, like just because there's macaroni and cheese does not mean that you have to eat it if you can eat it every other day. Like when I approach the holidays, it's I'm gonna indulge in stuff that I don't get at any other time of the year. Right. So I've said this on if you go back and listen on podcasts because when I like approach the holidays and when it comes to food, I'm approaching it from experiences and things that I don't normally get to enjoy. So every year when my grandma was alive, I would go to her house on Christmas Eve and we would make these amazing homemade cinnamon rolls. Um, like we would spend all day making them. We would roll out the dough and we would put like apples in them, and I like cringe thinking about what I know what's in them now. It's like Crisco and butter and so much sugar.
SPEAKER_00But Enjoy and love, and that's why they're so delicious.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. But my grandma passed away 11 years ago, and I'm the only one in our family that knows how to make these. So for me on Christmas Eve, like I go down in the kitchen with my kids and my daughter, and we make cinnamon rolls, and I eat them and I eat them for like two days, and I don't feel guilty about it at all, but I don't get it the rest of the year, and it's like a memory that I got to do with my grandma, right? I could give two craps less what we eat for Christmas dinner because literally I could eat that at any other time of the day. Like it's nothing that I can't do any other day of the year, right? So if it's the one time of a year a year where you get your grandma's famous mashed potatoes, enjoy them. Enjoy them. Overindulge. Yeah. I mean, don't go like making yourself sick and overindulge, but I think this particularly comes with alcohol. Like, why are you drinking so much around the holidays? Is it because you're saying yes to too many things and not doing some of this stuff that we talked about b above?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, or potentially trying to avoid interactions or you know, not wanting to say no to things, right? Like there's a lot tied into that. Um, avoidance is a big piece of that, right? But there's like some practical dials that you can um put into place or spin when it's um when around food and alcohol, right? So it's like prepare beforehand. We've talked about this before, um, especially in previous years and episodes, where it's like make sure that you hydrate properly throughout the day. We're looking at, I most of the time it's one meal that we're planning for.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, quit saving your calories. Do not do that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like eat a breakfast. Eat breakfast that has protein and fiber. Yes. And a lunch if you're eating a dinner or vice versa, right? It's like make sure the meals that you eat prior to going to that holiday meal are balanced, just like they normally would be, and that you're drinking enough water and that you're getting your movement in so that way when you go, you can just enjoy and you're not binging because you've been starving yourself all day, thinking, okay, well, I have to save up this bank of calories. That's not a thing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it doesn't work like that. It does not work like that.
SPEAKER_00With indulgences like alcohol or dessert, right? It's like choose your lane. Pick um pick a maximum. Like, okay, well, I'm going to be intentional about I want to have maybe no more than two or three drinks, and I want to make sure that I have water in between because that's also gonna make you feel way better, right? And then you're also gonna make better food choices because you're you're, you know, try like keeping a lid on that or or you know, being mindful of it really.
SPEAKER_02And there are like so many mock tail recipes out there now. Like if you feel like you're not being a part of the festivity because you're not drinking alcohol, like make you a mock tail, put it in your wine glass or whatever, and sit on it. Like there's so many things out there now.
Say No Without Guilt
SPEAKER_00Yeah, with dessert, like I get it. I love dessert. And there's gonna be desserts, like Lindsay said, that are gonna be around that maybe not all that are not all around all the time. And if it's something that's like homemade that it's special somebody made or something that you only make this time of year, again, enjoy it, right? If it's something that somebody got at Costco, you could get that at any time throughout the year. So it's like don't overindulge in it. Just be mindful of your choices and try to do things that you know you're not going to regret later. That's the biggest thing is you want to be able to continue the joy right after the event and not have it feel like something. I always say, if you were either on your way home from a holiday event or if you were, you know, maybe you're cleaning up because you're hosting that evening, what would make you reflect on it and feel like it was a success, right? Instead of being like, Oh, I really wish I hadn't done this, or oh, I really wish that I didn't, you know, have all of that or overindulge in this. Like, what would feel really good and then have that be your plan going into it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I think this last one, number six, is the most important one. Um, and it's pay it forward. And I think I know, take out the word think, that we as a society get wrapped up in the gifts and the parties, and we completely forget what the holidays are about. And they're about celebrating like Christmas is about celebrating Jesus' birth, right? And that is doing good, right? So the whole like volunteer, donate, deliver meals, check on a neighbor. Like one thing that we do every year is our church is we um fill up shoeboxes and as a family, we'll go to Walmart and fill up shoeboxes and uh we had a tournament last week, but like to s to send overseas to another to other underserved countries, like pay it forward. I know at our church, like Thanksgiving. Um, you can go in and you know donate cooking and deliver meals to people that don't have Thanksgiving dinner, but you can pay it forward, not like you can pay it forward in so many different ways. Maybe you're paying it forward is forgiving someone, right? But don't forget about the reason why we have this time of year. And I think that I know that that gets forgotten a lot and we get wrapped up in our parties and our obligations and our gift giving and get stressed about money and all that type of stuff, and we completely forget about why we even are having this time of year.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I also think it's a really great time of year to look at our relationship dynamics with the people that we may love but struggle with, proximity to, or that we have maybe some grudges between, or things that have been um lingering, right? And can we look at this time of year as a way to seek out either forgiveness or understanding or letting go of things that again are not going to get us the outcome that we want? So if ideally, at the end of the day, the type of relationship that we want is not aligned with the current actions that are happening or the current conversations that are happening between me and this other person, or maybe we're not having conversation at all, what would it cost me just to attempt a repair in that way or just to be genuine or just to be even better vulnerable and show up and say, Hey, like I just want to make sure that you're doing really great this holiday season. Just wanted to reach out and I hope that I get to see you because I care about you a lot.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I think to wrap up, like we definitely need to talk about maybe role-playing some conversations that can really trigger you around the holidays. Um, especially if you are, you know, if you're one of our clients and people know that you're on this health journey, people can say some like really triggering, not necessary comments, like, uh, Lakin, are you really eating that right now?
SPEAKER_00Oh, actually, I feel really great with this plate. How have you been?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, right. Change it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I don't have to justify what's on my plate. And I can it how much of it could I shift it to be a permission slip for them too? Right? Like, oh, I'm not going to feed into the shame and judgment. I'm just gonna recognize how much I'm enjoying my time here, how I feel about this plate because I built it. And then how have you been? Right? Pivot.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. Uh Lincoln, let's talk about like all the politics and war and stuff that's going on right now.
SPEAKER_00So there are two angles that you can go with this. Uh, one that most people would prefer to take, right? Because if you just really don't have the energy and you don't want to engage or talk about stuff like that, I get it. And that's something like, hey, like I'm off heavy topics for tonight. Let's resume a conversation like this after the holidays if we can. It's just a busy time of year, and I just want to be able to enjoy and connect with everybody, right? An alternative to that is what I mentioned earlier. And this is a this is one that I would personally lean into, and that's the curiosity of saying, like, oh, actually, I know that historically we haven't agreed on that. And I'd love to take this opportunity to better understand your perspective. Could you help me understand why you feel the way that you feel about XYZ? Right. Yeah. And that gives me the opportunity to practice staying down regulated and where there are gonna be things that are said that I'm not gonna agree with. But if I can remember that my goal is not to agree and it's not to change their mind, I just want to understand where they're coming from. That's gonna get us a lot further.
Food, Alcohol, And Intentional Indulgence
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Um, Lakin, my kitchen is in construction. Can you please host Christmas Eve and Christmas Day this year?
SPEAKER_00Uh actually, I can do the 26th if that is an available option for you. We can do potluck style where everybody kind of brings their own stuff, but the 24th is a no-go for me this year. Again, no is not a four-letter word. It will be okay. I do not have to people please my way through every conversation this season because we tell ourselves there's all this fear of like, oh, you know, when I ask my clients, what's the worst that's gonna happen? And it's like we we fantasize these big things, like they're gonna hate me, they're never gonna talk to me again, they're gonna all this stuff. That's not gonna happen, right? And if it does, again, that's on them. So what would you rather do? Have a clean no that makes you feel good energetically going into interactions with that person, or would you rather have a big hunking side of resentment with your turkey this year? Right?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Um, like, and I know Christmas Eve is tomorrow, but I really need you to make your homemade cookies. I've totally forgot to ask, but they're just a crowd favorite. And I just can you please bring them?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I love that everybody loves the cookies, but I am totally maxed out this year and I cannot bake another thing. So I'm gonna bring an amazing fruit tray from the grocery store, and nobody will miss the cookies, I promise. And if they do, I'll make them another time.
SPEAKER_02Love it, love it. Um, Lakin, stop being so boring. Have a drink.
SPEAKER_00I'm totally good with my spritzer. I'm actually prioritizing sleep right now. And when I drink a bunch of wine, I just it really messes with my sleep. So I'm good. Thank you so much for offering though. I like politely decline. And you don't have to give a reason, but the thing is, the more that I go in, so if I were to go into that situation and be like, oh, like I'm so sorry, and be like super apologetic, right? Of like, it's just that I'm I'm on this health journey right now, and like I'm apologizing for the things that I want. That is the energy that gets met with additional applied peer pressure of like, oh, you're so boring, you never do the thing. No, right? I am not apologizing for the way that I'm choosing to show up to meet my own needs and what is best for me. So the more self-assured you are in your responses, that is going to make a big difference in the way that it's received.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Lacan, I cannot believe that you're not taking your kids to go see great Aunt Sally. Everyone wants to see your kids.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I totally get it. And if I, you know, could control time, I would want my kids to see absolutely everybody at every engagement that they have going on too. But they need rest as well. And when they get super overstimulated, they're not as fun to be around. I know that you understand that because you have kids too. So we will visit grandma today and we're gonna call Auntie and FaceTime her tomorrow, and we'll be able to see them again at another engagement.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like you do not have to see everyone in the two days around Christmas. Like, there is a whole year to go visit people, right? Like a whole year. So there's a lot like we've given you a ton of nuggets and action steps and even ways to handle conversations that can be super triggering and spiral you kind of out of out of control.
SPEAKER_00And at the end of the day, it's like if you're thinking about a formula of you know how to communicate a boundary, right? It's like just ask yourself what boundary would protect my piece most for this period of time? Right? What language will I use in order to transparently communicate that boundary? And then what backup do I need to hold the line, right? Do I need to loop my partner in to make sure that we're on the same page? Do I need to have a conversation with my kids before we go into any engagements? Right? Do I need to pack mocktails? Do I need to text the hosts and make sure that they're, you know, cool with whatever I'm bringing? Like whatever I need in order to have backup so that way I feel good about my choices going into these scenarios. Do that, right? Set yourself up for success. We talk about that all the time.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So plan ahead. Breathe slow, keep your side clean, say no, set intake limits, pay it forward. Like, I feel like you maybe need to go listen to this podcast like every single week until Christmas time. Uh, just so you can reiterate how to set boundaries around the holidays.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, hopefully this was really helpful. And just remembering that at the end of the day, like your piece is your own responsibility, and you're also not responsible for anybody else's piece, and it's also your permission slip. So making sure that you're implementing these. Hopefully, some of these tools were helpful. And if you exercise some of these and put them into place, we'd love to hear about it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, awesome. So give us a five-star review. It really helps. I know you guys have been sharing the podcast because our numbers are just like increasing every week, and it's so exciting to see.
SPEAKER_00It means the world to us. Thank you. Thank you so much for that.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So share, like, give us a five-star review. It really helps, and we will talk to you next week.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that helps you.