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The Rejuvenating Health Podcast
Join Women's Health Nurse Practitioner, Lindsey VanSchoyck for a weekly dose of Precision Medicine as she addresses the hot-button topics specific to Women's Health, Fitness and Nutrition, interviews expert guests and hosts round table discussions with the team of dedicated functional health care specialists.
The Rejuvenating Health Podcast
E167 | Sleep Is a Boundary
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You know sleep matters, but why do so many of us still blow past bedtime and wake up feeling wired, puffy, hungry, and foggy? We’re getting real about the patterns that keep women stuck, even when they’ve tried the classic sleep hygiene tips like magnesium glycinate, a colder room, or “just getting off your phone.”
We talk about the second wind problem and what’s really happening when you get sleepy around 9, push through it, and suddenly find yourself energized at 10:30. We name revenge bedtime procrastination for what it is: a fight for decompression, autonomy, pleasure, or avoidance when your day felt like it belonged to everyone else. Then we connect the dots to real physiology, including cortisol rhythm, melatonin timing, blood sugar swings, cravings, and the way a constantly upregulated nervous system makes it hard to feel safe enough to shut down.
From the mindset side, we get practical. We unpack why “I should go to bed” creates pressure and resistance, and how tiny, realistic promises rebuild self-trust. You’ll leave with repeatable tools that support circadian rhythm and calmer nights: a consistent wake time, morning light, caffeine boundaries, a work cutoff tied to a ritual, getting your phone out of your bed, and a minimal nighttime routine that doesn’t require a 12-step checklist.
If this hit home, pick one sleep boundary to test for a week and tell us what you chose. Subscribe for more, share this with a friend who’s tired of feeling tired, and leave a five-star review so more women can find the show.
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Disclaimers And Why Sleep Matters
SPEAKER_00Any views, thoughts, and opinions expressed on the Rejuvenating Health Podcast are solely those of the speakers and are intended as such. Please consult your trusted healthcare practitioner for medical advice. Let's go, girls.
SPEAKER_01As always, I'm Coach Lakin, your mindset coach, and I'm joined by Women's Health Nurse Practitioner Lindsay. And today we are going to talk about something that we've talked about a lot before, and it almost always creeps into every episode, but we're going to be talking about it in uh a different way, right? Like not just the basic way, I guess. And that's sleep. And we talk about how important it is all the time, but today we want to go deeper than the, you know, turn off your phone and take your magnesium and make sure your room is cold. Like, yes, we we've addressed those things, and those things do matter. They're very important. But for a lot of women, sleep struggles are not simply about just the sleep hygiene itself. And I want to caveat that in that the things that we're going to go into today, it's a yes and, right? Like we have to also create an optimal sleep environment for our sleep, and sleep rituals are really important. And being intentional about our sleep hygiene is really important. But a lot of times, sleep struggles also include issues with boundaries, uh, issues with experiencing the need to have like revenge on your time, like time that you didn't have for yourself, or your nervous system being upregulated and not feeling safe enough to shut down. Or, you know, a lot of women will say that they can't turn their mind off, like their brain is still running on like autopilot when they're trying to fall asleep. But it it's like that makes a lot of sense because if you're carrying your entire day and go, go, go all the way up until you lay your head down, yeah, your your brain's gonna be running laps.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, if I can't sleep, it's like the worst. Literally the worst. Like because and and we talk about sleep so much because it's one of the biggest levers that you can pull that impacts literally everything. It impacts your hormones, your testosterone, your blood sugar, your insulin, your cravings, your cortisol, your inflammation, your mood, your energy, your metabolism, your weight gain, the brain fog, the forgetting the things that you say you're forgetting. Like it literally impacts everything. And and we know that women know that sleep matter, right? Like if you've listened to our podcast, you know that sleep matters. You're not like confused about that. The issue is actually like getting yourself to protect your sleep time.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes. And it's you know, we call it like a lead domino all the time, and we talk about so often that, like you just said, if your sleep is off, it's going to have this downhill effect on everything else, even it even if you don't have um access to some of the health markers that it may be impacting right internally, you can feel the difference when you get good sleep. You can feel like you're gonna have more cravings or sugar cravings, or you're gonna your mood's gonna be different, like you're gonna make different food choices, you're going to be less likely to be more active the next day. So it's gonna have a downstream effect on everything. But most women, you know, they have a lot of information about sleep. If you have access to the internet in 2026, you probably have a lot of facts and information about sleep, sometimes overwhelmingly so. But the idea is that can we help you to understand why you keep overriding what you know that you need? It goes back to that. Like, I know what I need to do, but I'm I'm just not able to do it. And that's where kind of the mindset component of this comes in.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
The Second Wind Trap
SPEAKER_00So let's start with like the second wind problem. Cause I feel like a lot of women with cortisol and stress issues, this is where we see a lot of women with this, right? And it is the second wind is you know, you get sleepy around 9, 9:30, which is when you should get sleepy. And instead of going to bed, you kind of stay up and watch another TV episode or you do the dishes, you do the laundry, and suddenly you're like, ah, I have energy again. Like you you have the second wind, and now it's like 10:30, 11, and you're trying to go to bed and you can't fall asleep. Um, and you're missing that window, like 10 to 2 is the best time of sleep, right? And so if you're not laying your head down by 9:30, you're missing the prime hours of sleep.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's like that's when all the good stuff happens for recovery, right? Like that's when your body is repairing itself, that's when your brain's repairing itself. And it's like we take that signal of oh, I'm sleepy as the cue to, oh, now I need to get ready for the next day, or I need to, you know, get all the things done in order for tomorrow to be successful, instead of recognizing that that my body is telling me this and I need to prepare before that signal hits so that way I can actually go to bed. And, you know, it it's often your body's just missing this natural sleep window. But when you push past that first signal, your system just gets ramped up again because it thinks that, oh, okay, well, we're not gonna go into this sleep cycle. So now we need energy to continue to do the things that we're that our body needs to do. And like mindset-wise, women get caught up in the, you know, the idea of, well, I know I should go to bed, but then the next thought is, well, I haven't had any time for myself today. Like, I just want to be able to just sit here, right? Or I I just want to be able to scroll and not think. And that's what we call like uh revenge time, right? It's like, it's like revenge procrastination. And it's the idea that you feel that the whole day belonged to everyone and everything else. So now you're stealing back the time at night when it feels like that's the only time that you can because everybody else is in bed, perhaps, or there's just less, less things that are at you, less notifications. But the problem is that you're stealing that time from your prime recovery window. And so it's not actually serving you. It's it's a deficit.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because it physiologically gets really expensive to do that, right? Um late nights can disrupt your cortisol rhythm and mess up that melatonin cortisol curve. It can really affect that ghrelin and leptin, your blood sugar, cravings. I know like I never pull all-nighters, but I feel physically sick if I do not get good night's sleep. Like sick.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, a lot of times we will. Like sometimes um some people will have like almost flu like symptoms.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Right?
SPEAKER_01Like that that full body fatigue. And so I think the question isn't necessarily why can't I just be disciplined enough and like make myself go to bed? But a better question is why does bedtime feel like the only time that I get to have for myself? And then how can I start to repair that? How can I start to modify that? If I'm recognizing that this is the only time that I get for myself, then we need to be intentional about carving out some other point of the day that allows you to have time for yourself, but it doesn't take away from this really, really precious window where your recovery is being held.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think that's that pattern that we see in women that they're always putting everyone else and everything else first above their needs and their priorities. And sometimes that shows up in exercise time, sometimes it shows up in relaxation time. And right now we're talking about it showing up in your sleep time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. It's like if you're always operating with just what's left over at the end of the day, then eventually it's gonna run out, like you're gonna run into a wall, right? And then when you're trying to recover, you're wondering, oh, why do I feel this way? Why doesn't why can't I do the things that I want to do the next day or the things that I know I should do? Right. And then it just be creates this cycle. So this goes into the idea of the boundaries, right? Like
Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
SPEAKER_01a lot of women think they have a sleep problem when at the root of it, it's more than likely a boundary problem. This is allowing work to bleed into the evening, right? Or text messages, we're we're responding to people at like 10 p.m. or our laptop is, you know, a blue light shining in our face right up until we slam it shut before we pull the blankets over us, or like that house reset that has to happen only after everyone else is taken care of. And then you're finally gonna sit down and call that like this is my me time, but that's not really true restoration. That's like we said, it's just that leftover time. And leftover time doesn't necessarily create a regulated nervous system. It still feels like you know, that FOMO or that panic of like this is all that I get.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And I mean, that matters clinically and psychologically and physiologically, because your body needs time to transition, right? You can't, you can't run on a stress mill all day and then expect your nervous system to, you know, finally lay down and just be like, I'm gonna go to sleep. Like it doesn't work that way.
SPEAKER_01Right, right. And bedtime is not a switch, right? Like, think about when a plane is landing, like it's gotta have some runway, or you're not gonna have a successful landing. So if you want better sleep, can you start asking yourself, like, where does my day need a boundary? Not just like, oh, like I'm gonna, what supplement or sleep aid thing do I need to take, you know, within this window? Maybe, maybe the boundary is not working or not opening your laptop after dinner time or after a certain time, like 7 p.m. or something like that. Maybe it's, you know, I'm not available for conflict if there's maybe something going on at home. For example, hard conversations with your partner or your spouse, maybe that's not something that you are available for after a certain time. And that's a precedent that's communicated. Maybe it's having no phone in the bed. Ideally, no phone in the bedroom at all is like the the prime value like valuable boundary. But I know that's not possible for everybody depending on your work. But it's like, no, not um not getting into any of those like quick things, oh, just do this really quick, that ends up turning into like a 60 to 90 minute task because we all know how that goes. And then things catch our attention as we're doing things around the house. So being honest about how long does it actually take me to set up for the next day or to do that um like house reset in the evening. And then when do I need to start that in order for it to be in enough time for me to transition for bed? And saying no to things, like saying no to things that that interrupt that sleep, that sleep time, that's really important. And that's sleep hygiene. It's not, it's not just the you know, the skincare routine before you go to bed. It's like it's having the self-respect around the transition that you need for your body.
SPEAKER_00I think one thing I hear a lot around sleep time is from women that are married and have kids, is like that time is the only time I get with my husband. And I I hear that, but here's here's my question. What are you doing with that time? Because if you're both sitting there watching TV and scrolling on your phones, are you really spending quality time together? Or could you actually like carve out a date night every week where that's where you spend quality time together? Like, don't like really ask yourself, am I really spending quality time with my significant other during this time, or am I using that as an excuse to catch up on TV or scroll on my phone?
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. Yeah, like are we both essentially taking our revenge procrastination time just for using the the window when the kids are already in bed so we can both do it simultaneously? And like we get it, that that is a real thing. And yeah, um, there is a reason why that desire is there, but it's just in that self-reflection of can we be honest about what we're utilizing this time for? And is it something that actually gets me toward the things that I want for myself?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So one
Stop Saying You Should Sleep
SPEAKER_00thing I hear a lot is I should go to bed earlier, or I should have better sleep. It's the should word, Lincoln. Should. Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. And like we talk about this a lot, like should is pressure language, right? And pressure is going to create resistance. So when you are constantly telling yourself, I should go to bed, your brain is interpreting that as criticism. So then bedtime becomes another place where you're like falling short, right? Or that you're criticizing yourself or you're judging yourself. So instead of I should go to bed earlier, you could try shifting it to I could give myself a better night's sleep tonight, or I'm choosing sleep because I want tomorrow to feel smoother and less chaotic, or I'm choosing to protect my nervous system, right? Like the language matters because your brain is going to respond differently to pressure than it does to a choice. If think about anything else, if you have pressure applied to you, let's say in a work scenario where they're like, You you have this deadline, it's really tight, you have to get it done, you don't have any say in the matter, that's not gonna feel good compared to, hey, what do you think? And how long is it gonna take you to do this thing and how would you how would you like to do it? Right. So it's can I switch from pressure to choice in the matter? And this is something that I'm choosing for me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure, for sure. So when sleep becomes punishment or another rule, it just gives you something to rebel against, right? Like that's human nature.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and that's why we end up acting like you know, bratty children towards ourselves, like at the end of the night. This is, you know, this is the adult saying, like, go upstairs, and the rebellious part of us is like, no, like I worked all day. I I did everything for everybody else. Like, I deserve this. And both parts have a point. The answer is not to shame that rebellious part, it's it's to give yourself real ownership of your evening before you're already depleted. So before you get to the point of like, oh my God, now I've been, you know, scrolling for an hour and a half and I can barely keep my eyes open. Now it's time to go to bed. That's not gonna feel as good as, oh yeah, like I took myself upstairs when I was starting to get sleepy and I did my nighttime routine and I laid down in my bed and I was very intentional about seeking good sleep. And the other piece of that is just because you do those things doesn't mean your sleep's gonna change instantly. We talk about this all the time. Like we do not, our bodies do not subscribe to Amazon Prime, ladies. Like it's not, it's not a two-day turnaround for everything, right? Like we have to be patient when we are making a shift. We have to be patient with our bodies when we are making changes and we have to allow them to acclimate. So if you've been operating for a really long time on the whole revenge procrastination timeline and you've been scrolling or you've been doing these things before bed that you know do not serve you, do not expect the first, second, third, or even probably fifth night of you being intentional about creating a sleep routine for yourself that it's just gonna flip and you're gonna, you know, instantly close your eyes and have the best sleep of your life. It's going to take time for your body to acclimate to that shit.
SPEAKER_00I mean, that yeah, it's like that with everything.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
unknownYeah.
What Late Nights Are Really For
SPEAKER_01And like when we think about this revenge time, right? It's like you you said this really well earlier of like, can you be honest with what you're doing? Like, what are you actually wanting? Because when you stay up late, you know, watching TV or scrolling, like ask yourself, be really honest. This is it's really good to have periodic self-reflection of what am I trying to get from this? Usually it's one of four things. It's gonna be decompression, like I want my brain to turn off because I've been using it all day and I've been, you know, like uh a lot of it's decision fatigue. Autonomy, you want to feel like your time belongs to you. So it's kind of I'm stealing back that time, like we mentioned earlier. Pleasure, this is a big one. I want something that feels easy and enjoyable. So this is where I'm seeking out that dopamine hit. And then avoidance. You don't want to think about work, you don't want to think about your stress, your to-do list, your relationship, the the criticism that you've been putting on your body all day, or what's coming up tomorrow, like you're looking for an escape. And none of that is wrong. We're not here to villainize that, but the method is costing you in that, right? Even though those things are justifiable.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly. And those habits that often feel like relaxing in the moment, they're really stimulating to your brain and your body sometimes. So, like scrolling, blue light, a dramatic TV show, alcohol, late night snacks, work email, like all of those keep your nervous system active. And the whole point is trying to shut down your nervous system.
SPEAKER_01Right. So instead of like, you know, disciplining yourself in a way that doesn't feel good, instead of that resistance, instead of saying, like, oh, I need to stop scrolling, again, can we come in with curiosity? What need is scrolling meeting? Right. And then can I meet that need earlier potentially, if that is something that truly benefits me? Or can I do it in a cleaner way? Is there something that actually allows me to feel rested, that actually allows me to downregulate? If the need is decompression, can I take a 10-minute walk after dinner? Because I guarantee you that's gonna make you feel way more decompressed than watching TV, right? If the need is pleasure, can I read something easy or take a bubble bath or you know, sit with a heat pack or drink my favorite tea or listen to some music that I really like, right? If need is autonomy, then can I schedule protected me time sometime before that's that sleep first hits you around that 9 p.m. window, right? And if it's avoidance, can I write the thoughts down that I'm trying to escape so that they stop circling the drain and ending up in this spiral? Like you don't remove the coping mechanism without replacing the need that it was serving, because then the the intensity of it is only gonna increase. It's like when when we try to restrict calories, right? It's that's why restrictive diets don't work because at some point your body is gonna override what you're doing and say, no, we need, we're starving, and then you're gonna overcompensate and you're gonna probably use one of these methods, but with food, right? So it's the same thing, it's just with sleep.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
Rebuilding Self Trust With Tiny Promises
SPEAKER_00So why does this why do these broken promises matter?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, this is this is a really big one because if every night you tell yourself tonight I'm going to go to bed earlier, and then you don't, you erode your self-trust. And I have conversations like this with clients all the time, and it can come in different forms. It's anytime we don't keep a small promise to ourselves, this shows up a lot with movement or workouts as well, right? It's it's not because you're bad, it's because your nervous system learns that, oh, she says she's gonna take care of me, but she doesn't actually really follow through. So it's like telling a child, right? This is essentially a reparenting exercise. If I were to tell a child, okay, we'll do the thing that you want to do tomorrow, and then tomorrow never comes, eventually that child is gonna stop believing you. They're gonna give up, they're gonna stop asking. And that's that's what's happening internally. So the goal is not to create this like perfect bedtime routine and have rigidity. The goal is to rebuild that self-trust with a promise that's small enough that you can actually keep it, right? So if you tell yourself, I'm gonna go to sleep by 9 p.m. every night, but that's not actually realistic, don't do that because then all you're doing is proving to yourself and collecting evidence that you don't actually fulfill the things that you say you're gonna do for yourself. And that leaks into multiple areas of your life. So instead, what if I were realistic? Maybe it's 9:30, maybe it's 9.45, and maybe it's I go upstairs at this time, or I start my bedtime routine at this time, whether it's, you know, shower, teeth brushing, whatever it is. Or something like, okay, if I know that I struggle with screen time around bedtime, I'm gonna move my phone charger to another location away from my bed, right? Or I'm gonna keep my phone in the bathroom, for example, or like we talked about earlier, having boundaries around work, like maybe the laptop closes after dinner, or I set a little alarm for myself, and that's my cue to to take the first step in my nighttime routine. But the the tiny promises, those ones that are actually realistic for you, those are gonna help to rebuild the identity that I'm someone that follows through for myself. When I say I'm gonna do something for myself, I actually do it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because that those promises that you made to yourself that you keep, that small consistency, like what do we always say? Like, we're not striving for perfection. It's just like the little things over and over and over that that add up. And it's the same with your circadian rhythm, like it responds to repetition.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes. Like your your body doesn't trust a plan because it's super intense. That's why we don't do 75 hard for more than 75 days for people that do that, right? It's like that's it's not 365 hard because that's not realistic. It's like the it trusts the plan that it can put on repeat, that it can use as a new default mode. That's what's gonna feel like it's cultivating that self-trust.
SPEAKER_00So
Practical Tools For Better Sleep
SPEAKER_00let's give some practical sleep hygiene tools that aren't like take magnesium and take a hot bath and so like that are actually connected to like this mindset aspect of it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. So tool number one is gonna be a consistent wake time, right? Like if you, when we've talked before about building a really strong circadian rhythm, the easier lever to pull in that is gonna be the wake time because more often than not, we have things that we have to address the next day. And that's more just like it's an easier. Time of day to control for movement. It's also an easier time of day to control for waking. So having a consistent wake time, even if your bedtime wasn't perfect, allows you to start to create an anchor for your circadian rhythm. Now, the mindset tool here is stop making one imperfect night mean that the whole day is ruined, right? Like you can have a not so great night of sleep and still protect the next cue. Like wake time becomes an anchor, not a punishment. So when I wake up, it's okay, I may not have had the best sleep last night, but I'm gonna wake up right now and take care of myself today. And then tonight is gonna be a new opportunity, and I'm gonna feel more tired tonight and be able to rest easy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Because I mean, even like that getting outside early, even if it's cloudy, it's really gonna help regulate that cortisol rhythm and melatonin later and later. Like I go on a walk every morning no matter what. Unless it's raining, then I don't, but yeah.
SPEAKER_01So that's the second tool is like morning light, like getting morning light in your eyes. It makes a huge difference. And for mindset, it's like, can you can you stack it with something that's already a non-negotiable? So this is where our fluffy friends come in really handy, right? If you have a dog, yeah, that makes it super easy. It's like just walk the dog, step outside and first thing, they they enjoy that, right? And if you have a yard, go outside with them. Don't just let them out the back door. Like just step outside with them and and like watch them. Watching a pet, this is kind of an aside, but watching a pet can be really, really um, can be a really great way to start to tune into an intentional gratitude practice. Because if you watch how like curious they are naturally and how like fascinated and excited they get about just really little things, it can be a really great message as to like, oh my gosh, when was the last time that I got excited about you know, a leaf falling or like uh, you know, a frog bouncing around or like something that we take for granted so often? So step outside with your dog when they go outside. Um, if you drink coffee, right, like put it, go drink your coffee outside, like have it on your front porch or have like go to your window and open the window and let some sun in or on their deck.
SPEAKER_00Without eating breakfast first.
SPEAKER_01No, no, this is like it something that's ritualized. So if you have your if you drink um water first thing in the morning, or like we love like some lemon water, like if you're taking your supplements in the morning, have your big glass of water and go outside and have it. But you don't have to make it a whole production, right? It's like you just pair it with something that you normally do. I have a client that brushes her teeth outside because, like, well, that's the only time that I'm I'm gonna make it happen. And I'm already doing this thing for three minutes because that's how long my toothbrush goes for. And it's like sometimes you just gotta do what makes the most sense and what's the lowest hanging fruit. So make it obvious.
SPEAKER_00So talking about caffeine, you should also probably cut that out late morning, early afternoon at the latest.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Caffeine boundaries are a really big one because that is going to affect sleep. I don't care who you are. I know we have so many people that are like, caffeine doesn't impact me, or I, you know, I can have coffee all the way up until bed and it doesn't do anything because you haven't felt the difference, right? Like, take it out for a little while. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and see how it feels and like give your body the chance, do the self-experiment. But a good mindset tool here is like stop treating caffeine, like so many, so many people adopt caffeine intake as like a part of their personality. Like it, if you know, I'm I'm a person that drinks, you know, eventually coffee at Starbucks every day, or like has to have like how many people have like their coffee order on lock and it's a whole thing and they have to have it and they're super dependent on it. It's like, can we release some of that a little bit? If caffeine is borrowing energy from tomorrow, it is not helping you. And if it is something that you need in order to get through the day, that is worth looking at. It's like, is this supporting me or am I actually using it to override what my body is telling me, which is that I'm tired and I probably need more rest or some more boundaries around my time?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So this next one I'm real bad at. Um, but a work cutoff. So making a consistent cutoff for anything work related.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I struggle with this one too. I've gotten much better about it. Um, but using the like attaching this to a ritual and not just a time can be really helpful, right? So if I if I tell myself, okay, I'm not allowed to work after this time when I like designate the workday to be done, sometimes I can either feel really ambiguous or again, it goes back to that restriction that I'm gonna rebel against a little bit. So if I can attach it to a ritual that I know is always gonna happen, this is why I mentioned, you know, around dinner, it's like, can I create something as a transition mode that changes my what I'm um, what my focus is from like, okay, now I can recognize that this transition means the workday has wrapped up and it's done. And now I'm going into family mode or personal time or, you know, whatever it is that you're cultivating in the evening. It's like allow that to be the cue because that tends to work better than randomly hoping you're just gonna stop working when you're tired, because then that gets pushed later and later. And there's always gonna be something that's drawing your attention. There's always more to do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Then the next one's keeping your phone out of your bedroom. I sleep with my phone in my bedroom, but I do not scroll. I like forbid it. But like if you are a snoozer or you scroll in bed, like charge your phone in the bathroom, maybe. Like you should not be, you should not ever have the phone in your hands in your bed.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I this is the mindset tool here, is like you have to just remove the negotiation with yourself because you're fighting a losing battle. Our phones are literally engineered by some of the smartest people on this planet to be highly addictive to your brain and your nervous system. Like it is hijacking your attention at all costs. And you can't expect your exhausted brain to make high-quality decisions for your benefit when you're fighting against that kind of ammunition at 10 45 p.m. or at like 6 30 a.m. in the morning. It's like it becomes the subconscious reactive mode of, oh, I just automatically reach for my phone, right? So setting up the environment so that the choice is already made for you is gonna be the best way to overcome that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And I think like you do all you need to realize that your morning starts the night before.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And a lot of women miss this because remembering that your morning routine is built the night before, right? Like if you want to wake up less chaotic, the decisions that are gonna come up need to happen before bedtime. It's like, can I eliminate as much uh deterrence as possible? Can I make it as smooth as possible the following day? That means like maybe lunch is packed or your workout clothes are already laid out, or if you have, you know, a water bottle that you need ready, or whatever your protein option is gonna be for your for your post-workout. It's like even down to have I already looked at my workout and I know what I'm gonna be doing for my movement in the morning. So that way it's one less thing that because there's gonna be all these intrusive thoughts that come in that try to keep you in your comfort zone in the morning, right? So can I can I overcome those as much as possible the night before? So I feel very prepared. So my morning isn't starting with, oh, what am I gonna wear? Or what am I gonna eat or where are my shoes? Right. Like that at that point, you're already losing that momentum and and you're operating with half the capacity that you do throughout the day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I know you're like, oh, why does this matter to sleep, right? Because we're talking about bedtime and this is morning, but better mornings lead to better nights. So morning sunlight does a lot for your melatonin and your cortisol. Eating protein in the morning curves your craving so you're not eating sugar late at bedtime. Like less rushing around, it helps regulate that brain and stress chemistry.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like a chaotic chaotic morning feeds a chaotic night, right? So we've all experienced that thing where we're we're like rushing around and trying to catch up all day. That doesn't feel good when you're trying to go to bed that night and you're not gonna be able to downregulate. So a more grounded morning makes it easier to land that plane at night, give ourselves that runway. It's not about becoming this like rigid 5 a.m. person every day. It's just can I reduce the friction? Can I make it as smooth as possible?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
Minimal Night Routine That Works
SPEAKER_00So what is like the minimal viable nighttime routine? And a lot of women definitely overcomplicate this. They think they need this like 12-step ritual to get good night's sleep.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and they don't. Like the well, because they don't exactly. It's not gonna happen if it's got too many steps. So it's like the minimum viable night routine is gonna be like, all right, close your loops, like write tomorrow's top task that your brain is trying to hold on to that you're afraid of forgetting. Like do a brain dep essentially. Um, change the state, right? This means like make it very clear to your body that you're gonna be in a transition phase, whether this looks like a shower or brushing your teeth and washing your face, changing into PJs, something that tells the body, it gives a tangible signal, like, okay, we're done for the day. We're we're coming into sleep mode now. And then just remove the stimulant, whether that's putting your phone out of reach or turning the TV off or closing the laptop, like remove the thing that's going to be the distraction and the stimulant that's really pushing you to try to stay up to override that. And that's it. Like it's not, it doesn't have to be perfect. It again, it just has to be repeatable, it has to be consistent.
What To Do At 2 AM
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I mean if you do wake up at 2 to 3 a.m., like don't panic, keep your lights low, avoid your phone, like do some breathing, count some sheep, all that stuff.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, middle of the night waking, nothing makes it worse than making it mean something and stressing out even more about it, right? So it's like that thought pattern of, oh my gosh, like I'm awake, tomorrow's ruined, I'm not gonna be able to do all the things I need to tomorrow, or the morning's gonna be so rough. Like that thought in itself is going to create adrenaline. So instead, it's can we just recognize just like when we're trying to meditate and we have intrusive thoughts, they're not like allow them to be there and just observe them, right? Like I'm awake, my job is to just stay calm right now. Like, can I focus on my exhales? Can I start to downregulate my body one body part at a time? Like, I'm not, it's not a problem that I'm solving right now. I'm not, I'm certainly not getting up and checking my phone. I'm not, you know, looking at emails, I'm not looking at the clock as many times to see what time it is. Like your brain doesn't need to have like a full-on committee meeting, just focus on your down regulation practices and eventually you will fall back asleep.
SPEAKER_00So, what's like a practice people can do?
SPEAKER_01So,
A Simple Boundary Audit
SPEAKER_01something for you guys is if we were to look at like a micro practice or like a boundary audit, right? It's I want you to write these down. Not if you're driving, write them down later and then and then answer them, right? Like, what am I doing at night that I call me time, but is actually costing me some of my recovery? That's one. The next one is what boundary would protect my sleep the most? And then number three is what is the smallest promise I can keep tonight? Right. So for example, it might be no laptop after dinner, or like we said, put the phone charger in the bathroom, going upstairs at a certain time, washing my face when it's when it's when I'm actually feeling sleepy, and like write tomorrow's top three down before I start getting ready for bed. Like just be realistic with yourself.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and choose one, not five, right? Like choose something that you can do consistently, not like intensely. Yes.
One Sleep Boundary For One Week
SPEAKER_00Awesome. So sleep is not just a nighttime habit. It is a result of your whole day. Your blood sugar, your eating, your light, your caffeine, your stress, your boundaries, your nervous system, all of that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and from the mindset side, you know, sleep is going to improve when you stop treating yourself like a machine and start treating your bedtime like a boundary, right? Like you're I want you to reflect on where am I stealing time from my recovery because I don't feel like I own enough of my day or I that I have enough time for myself. And if you could choose one sleep boundary and keep it just for like, you know, just test it out for a week. Ideally, I'd love a 30-day self-experiment, but even if you could just commit to it for a week, again, it's not, we're not looking for perfection, it's just consistency.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so if this resonated with you, if you think someone could benefit from it, if you're someone who's like, I'm doing magnesium glycinate and I'm doing progesterone and I'm doing all of these things, like maybe this is something that you should look at if you just don't have any trouble speaking. Um, we would love, love, love if you shared it. Gave us a five-star review. Uh, look forward to speaking on the next one.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Thank you, ladies. See you next time.