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The Rejuvenating Health Podcast
Join Women's Health Nurse Practitioner, Lindsey VanSchoyck for a weekly dose of Precision Medicine as she addresses the hot-button topics specific to Women's Health, Fitness and Nutrition, interviews expert guests and hosts round table discussions with the team of dedicated functional health care specialists.
The Rejuvenating Health Podcast
E171 | Stop The Comparison Spiral
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One scroll can flip the switch from “I’m doing fine” to “I’m failing” and your body reacts like it’s danger. We get honest about comparison, why it hits so hard for women, and how it quietly sabotages your health journey through stress, urgency, and plan-hopping. We also celebrate a fun life update with Dr. Lindsay stepping fully into her new title, then we pivot into a topic we see constantly in real client conversations.
We define comparison as measuring your worth or progress against someone else’s visible life, not their full reality. That’s why Instagram before-and-after photos, gym selfies, and perfectly staged meal prep can trigger shame, panic, and the “I should be doing what she’s doing” spiral. We walk through the full comparison loop (trigger, thought, feeling, behavior, aftermath) and explain the “comparison hangover” that lingers long after you put your phone down. If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body, anxious about your timeline, or tempted to swing into extreme restriction or over-exercising, you’ll recognize the pattern fast.
Then we get practical. We share a simple nervous system friendly pattern interrupt: pause, name, redirect. You’ll learn how to decode envy as useful data, choose values over metrics, and take one aligned action that builds self-trust instead of panic. We also give you a weekly “comparison audit” to pinpoint your triggers, the exact story you tell yourself, and what you actually want underneath it all.
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Welcome Back And Big News
SPEAKER_01Welcome back, Lady. We're doing dating health podcast. As always, your mindset coach waken. And now I'm joined by Dr. Lindsay.
SPEAKER_02Woo! Yeah, we had a two-week hiatus where you guys got repeat episodes or something, but we're back.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes. And for a good reason, because somebody got a diploma. We were very excited about. So big, big congrats to you, Dr. Lindsay. We are so excited for you.
SPEAKER_02My kids keep calling me Dr. Mom.
SPEAKER_01Hell yeah. You should keep that. You'd be like, yes, now from now on, I will be known as Dr. Mom.
SPEAKER_02No, so we're like moving to Tennessee and I'm gonna get a new driver's license. And they're like, you should get plates that say Dr. Mom. And I'm like, I'm not doing that.
SPEAKER_01I'm sure it's already taken. It would have to be like Dr. Mom32 or something, like some number with it. Yeah. But that would be funny. You could get one car like that.
unknownYeah. Yeah.
Why Comparison Shows Up Everywhere
SPEAKER_00Um so what are we talking about today?
SPEAKER_01Today we are gonna talk about comparison. Because I feel like this is something that comes up constantly for women. I know it's something that we see all the time for ladies in the program, for women that I talk to in or in or outside of the program. Um, and it is something that runs rampant. It's really, really easy to get out of control. And I don't want to reference it in in a way of like, oh, like comparison is the thief of joy. Like, yes, yes, we we know that, right? Like that's what you've probably been told that most women know that comparison is not something that helps them. They know that it's harmful and they've heard, you know, the quotes about, you know, how bad it is, or they've been to therapy potentially, or they told their friends, like, I know I shouldn't compare myself. And then usually what happens is they'll open up Instagram or social media and immediately find themselves like comparing their body or their marriage or their business or their parenting to somebody else's, or if they're on their wellness journey, like, oh, I'm comparing my consistency or my discipline or the timeline that I'm on, like I'm not getting results fast enough, or their energy, or you know, their skin or their clothes, like you name it. And it's the entire life that you're comparing of your inner workings, you're comparing to someone else's highlight reel. And we're not just gonna tell you today, like, stop comparing. That's not necessarily helpful. I want to break down why comparison happens, why it tends to feel so automatic, and how it specifically can hijack your health journey and what to do when you catch yourself measuring against someone else's success or someone else's health journey.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, I think it we don't necessarily think about comparison affecting our health. Um, but your mental health affects your health.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_02And whenever we do that comparison, it creates a lot of stress. It can also push women into extreme. So extreme restriction, extreme exercising, um, flipping plans too often. Like weight losses. So doing that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and it works for them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Um, quitting or, you know, just feeling like a failure or not feeling like they're doing enough, essentially.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. And comparison is not just this annoying little thought in the back of your mind. Like it can actually change your state, you know, like it will pull you out of your own body, out of your own values, out of owning your season, out of the plan that you've decided that you, you know, you already made the choice to commit to. And then you wonder why you tend to feel disconnected or resentful or anxious when that's happening. So let's get into what comparison really is.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I
Defining Comparison And The Highlight Reel
SPEAKER_02mean, I think you have to define what it is to actually be able to talk about it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So like comparison is the habit of measuring your worth or progress or identity against someone else's visible life. And that's really important, the word visible in that. And you are not, you're not comparing yourself to the full truth of someone's life when we do that. We only see what someone is presenting to us. And all of us want to present the best version outwardly, but you're comparing yourself only to what you can see. So it's like, okay, her body, her vacation, her glamorous wedding photos, or her big before and after transformation, her, you know, beautiful meal prep at the beginning of every week. And I know this comes up a lot because we we post pictures, you know, the coaches or the like the client's success. And that can trigger sometimes a lot of comparison thoughts. Or it's like a gym selfie, but it's like that routine, like you're taking a visible metric and using evidence against everything that's going on in your life that could be happening below the surface, and you're not taking into account all the things that are going on below the surface in that person's life either. And that's where the problem lies.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, no two people are the same. And like you said, you're comparing your situation to someone else's situation. You're only comparing what you see of that person's situation. You know, like I get a lot of this. Like people on social media are like, well, how do I look like Lindsay or how do I do this? And like, yeah, I post a lot of good stuff on social media. It's called marketing, guys. Yeah. Like I'm not posting about how tired I am sometimes at 3 a.m. in the morning when I'm getting up to work out, or that I'm choosing not to do stuff in the evening so I can get my eight hours of sleep, or that my kids went and got ice cream and I chose not to eat ice cream. I'm not being restrictive. I I chose not to eat it because it hurts my stomach. Like I do want to say that. But you're not saying, you know, I work all the time and sometimes I snap at my kids because I'm irritated, or, you know, I talk to patients all day long. And by the end of the day, like I have nothing left to give to my family sometimes, right? So you can't compare, like there's also negatives to that person's life that they're not sharing on social media. Um, if you're following someone good, they should be sharing some of that stuff. And I I try to do a good job of sharing some of that stuff. But you're absolutely right. Like you're when you are comparing, you're comparing to 50% of like half of you're comparing to like a half of the reality, essentially.
SPEAKER_01Or a lot of times even less.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And like the way that filters are now, like, yeah. It's yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And like exactly, you're comparing your behind the scenes to the curated front window of a shop, right? If we think about like what's what is the marketing in the window. And then we're it's like if I were to say you and I are different stores, and I'm looking across the way at your store, and all I see is this beautiful curated mark, you know, marketing window display. And I'm comparing that to like my dusty back room that's unorganized and has inventory thrown all over the place, right? You probably got inventory all over the place too, but that's not what I can see. And so we're not comparing apples to apples. And then your inner critic is gonna take the limited information that you are able to see, and then it's gonna build a full case against you, saying, like, oh, you know, that person's further along or they're more disciplined, or you know, she bounced back faster after having her baby, or she was able to figure it out. Why can't I? And that voice sounds like observation, but it's usually really like a self-attack. It's it's really like that inner mean girl voice. If but what we do is we look at it as though it's just an analysis of the situation, like it's fact.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and like I want to be really clear that this isn't a personality fall flaw because if you're a woman, you've compared yourself. Like you and I still probably compare ourselves to other people. Like 100%. It's not like it's we do it all the time. It is not a personality flaw. It's it's a pattern, right?
SPEAKER_01Exactly. Yes. And the good thing about it being a pattern is that once we can identify it, it can be interrupted. So most women make comparison a part of their identity, right? They'll say, Oh, I'm just insecure, or I'm just jealous, or you know, I've just always been this way. But that's not the thing. Like you have a comparison loop. There is a trigger associated with that. There's a thought that comes up or it has a behavior pattern associated with it. And then there's an aftermath. And the good thing is, is that means that we can work with it if we take a step back and take time to actually analyze and reflect on it.
SPEAKER_02So if we want to work on it, what would that look like in real life?
The Comparison Loop Trigger To Aftermath
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So let's say the trigger is you see a woman that's your age post like a body transformation, right? And then that's the trigger. That's the initial viewpoint of what I see that's visible to me. The thought that's gonna come up is something like, well, why can she do that and I can't do it? Right. Or why does it work for her and it doesn't work for me? And the feeling that comes up from that thought is more often going to be something along the lines of shame or frustration or sometimes panic. Like this can be an anxiety-inducing. Now we're going down the line, right? So we have the trigger, the initial what we saw, the thought pattern that comes up from it, the feeling that that thought elicits, and then that feeling is going to transition into a type of behavior where you either restrict harder or you change your plan because you say, Well, I need to do what she's doing, or you say, screw it, because I feel defeated and what I'm doing isn't gonna work because I'm not getting the same results that she is, and I'm gonna give up. Right. And then after that behavior, that's where the aftermath comes in. It's like uh I call it the comparison hangover, right? Like you never feel better when you react from that place of that feeling. You always feel worse or more disconnected from your body or less motivated. And that's what that cycle looks like. So if we can identify the cycle or where you're at in the cycle in real time when it's happening, then we can interrupt it before it comes to a full completion.
The Comparison Hangover And Stress
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I love that phrase, uh, comparison hangover. Like, what do you what do you mean by that?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's it's like that emotional crash after the spiral, right? Like a lot of women think comparison in the moment when it happens in real time, that that's the problem. But most of the time the real damage is what happens afterwards. It's like think about when you scroll for five minutes, but then you see something and you spend like the next couple hours ruminating about it or feeling a certain kind of way about it. And sometimes it's not even in your awareness level. Like you see something and like it triggers you in the moment, and you're like, oh, whatever, it's not a big deal. You maybe even tell yourself, like, oh, that's not real, right? But the feeling that's attached to it is still coming up because there's still that shame or disappointment or guilt or whatever it is looming in the surface or the anxiety. And that could look like, oh, you know, maybe you're short with your husband or your kids, or you avoid a workout because now you feel that defeated feeling, or, you know, this happens all the time. Like you stand in your closet hating every single piece of clothing that you own when you're trying to get ready to go somewhere that evening. But you essentially are just feeling emotionally defeated. And so you start looking at things that are going to give you that dopamine response and the same way that we do when we have a hangover, right? Like that's when we want like the pizza and the french fries and the things that make us feel better in the moment. And it's the shame that like self-attack or self-criticism and urgency and collapse that come up after that comparison trigger. That's what that comparison hangover looks like.
SPEAKER_02And then that causes a physiological response, right? And that is normally a stress response, right? And your body doesn't know the difference between a real external threat or the internal threat of I'm not enough.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Your body is going to react to the story that you're tell yourself, right? If the story is I'm behind and everyone else is winning, then my nervous system is going to interpret that as a threat. And then your body is going to, in kind, move into protection mode. And when you're in protection, you are not going to make the same choices that you make from a grounded state where you are trusting yourself, right? And that I'm I'm reverting all the way back to that comfort zone of like I'm only doing what makes me feel safe as like and familiar, not what challenges me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. So why does comparison hold women back from what they really want? Let's kind of talk about that.
How Comparison Steals Your Progress
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think we've talked we talk a lot about um things that are metabolically expensive, right? When we talk about things that strain the body. Comparison is very expensive to the nervous system. Right? Like comparison convinces you that someone else's life is proof that you are failing. And then instead of building what you what you actually want to get the thing that you have the goal of, you waste energy judging yourself for not having what that person has. So that means that comparison is stealing things from you, right? Like it first it's stealing your clarity. So you stop asking, what do I want? And you start asking, like, why don't I have what she has? And those are very different questions, right? One is very much um personally geared and customized for you and what works with your life and your body and and all the things. And the other one is it doesn't matter. I only I only need to do what that other person is doing because obviously I need to have what they have, right? And the next thing it's gonna steal is your consistency because every time that you compare, you start to doubt your own plan. You start to doubt the things that you're doing. This part of the reason why we see so much uncertainty, right? It feels overwhelming when we see all of these gimmicks that we're marketed to all the time and we're seeing all the results that come with those gimmicks. That's where it's inserting this doubt of like, oh, maybe I maybe I need to do that. Maybe what I'm doing isn't gonna work, right? Like, oh, maybe, maybe I need that person's macros, or maybe I need that specific workout that she's doing, or maybe I, oh, this one, I need those supplements, right? Like I need that supplement stack, or maybe I should be fasting, or you know, just doing more all the time. But what happens is you keep switching lanes, and in that it's crushing your consistency or it's stealing that consistency. And you can't build momentum if you keep abandoning your own path every time someone else's looks impressive or looks shiny, right? It's like if I have a fork in the road and I'm like, I've clearly decided that I'm going this way, but then over here it's like, oh, look at them in that fancy sports car going that way to that hotel. That looks nice and fancy, but it doesn't surf me at all. But we're getting pulled in another direction. And then the last thing that it steals is, like I mentioned, before the self-trust, right? So every comparison moment tells your body where I'm at where I'm at right now is not okay. And then when your body doesn't feel okay with where it's at, it's gonna be really hard to show up consistently from a place of care, like that I authentically want to care for myself. So you show up from panic instead. It's like, oh, what is the quick thing that I can do to try to, you know, restrict or try to get an immediate result? And panic is not sustainable.
SPEAKER_02No, it's not at all, right? And clinically, like, you know, we see this all the time. Like a client's doing well, she's her energy's improving, her symptoms are improving, her strength's improving. And then she goes and has lunch with her friend, and her friend is down 20 pounds or looks a certain way, and suddenly like everything she's been working on doesn't matter anymore. And suddenly she's flipping. Oh, what are they doing? Like, I want to try and go over here and do what they're doing, and then they're veering off plan, and you know, like it's a cycle.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Comparison, well, that's another thing that it steals, right? It steals your wins. Like it makes your wins invisible. It's it's the one of the biggest ways that it'll hold women back because, like, like you said, you could be sleeping better, you could be eating all the protein, you could have all these, you know, these non-scale wins that we talk about all the time, you could be feeling amazing, stronger, less cravings, like your lab markers could be way better than they were when you started and way less inflammation. But if the thing that someone else is measuring by and portraying out there isn't moving, like if theirs is moving and yours isn't in comparison, then you're gonna decide for yourself that now nothing's working, right? And then it's like this borrowed measurement, and a borrowed measurement will will wreck your relationship with your progress because it derails you from all the things that are moving in the right direction that keeps you in that positive momentum.
Turning Envy Into Useful Information
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I think one thing that maybe we don't wanna admit to is that a lot of times comparison is envy. And when we envy people, we we often feel guilty for it too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we're taught to feel guilty for it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, and this is this takes a little bit of like uh growing up emotionally, or just just really reflecting on does this have to mean this thing? Because this is what I was told it means. Like envy is not inherently evil. It's not, it does not mean that you're a bad person. It does not mean that you don't support other women. It can be just information, right? Like it's it can tell you if I were going to reflect on that and be like, okay, well, what what lesson is this trying to teach me? Or what is it that this is trying to inform me of? Like, okay, that could just be telling me there's something here that I'm seeing that I want or value or that I feel disconnected from. And that is really useful because most women, unfortunately, don't use envy as data and they use it as a weapon against themselves. And that's where it has the negative connotation to it. They see someone else's confidence and think like, oh, you know, there's something wrong with me, or I'm pathetic, or they see the highlight reel of someone else's relationship and think, you know, I'm unlovable, no one could ever love me in that way, or they see what we see all the time, like someone else's body, and they tell themselves that they're failing. And the wrong use of data will take us down that path. But a better question, like I said, is what is this showing me that I desire? Do I want the confidence? Am I wanting consistency? Am I craving strength or ease or a body that feels that I feel comfortable in or feel at home in? And like, okay, from that, now we have a direction because now we can choose actionables that are actually going to work for me. Ideally, if you're doing it with a coach, that takes even more of the uncertainty away from it, and then I can stay on my path and stay in my lane.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. So you really have to decode envy. Like you have to separate yourself from it and use it kind of as a a map. Um and I've seen people disconnect from other people because of envy too. Like and you have to be aware of what you're doing emotionally with that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like it it costs you a connection in a big way too. And it's like can can we allow other people the same way that we've talked about projections before, like, can we allow other people to be a mirror in that way? The mirror can be showing me something that I may not have given myself permission to go for yet. But if I've clearly won it and it's clearly highlighting something that's a desire of mine, like what does it take to get there? Can I get clear on that? Yeah. Yeah.
The Inner Critic Runs On Comparison
SPEAKER_01And this is where I think like we come full circle back to the inner critic. Like we do a a lot of inner critic work because it it runs so rampant. And the inner critic uses comparison as its primary, it's a go-to weapon. Like it's the main one. And most women have an inner critic that actually speaks, I would say speaks the language of comparison. Like it doesn't always say outright like you suck, right? But it'll it'll say things like, Oh, she's doing better than you, or she has more support than you, or she's more disciplined or more further ahead, and well, she figured it out, so why can't you? And that voice feels really factual because it uses all that evidence, someone else's evidence, presenting it to us in that way, but it's not neutral, it's not, it's not true discernment because there is it's a part of you that's trying to motivate you through that shame response. And if shame actually worked, then we wouldn't have a job.
SPEAKER_02Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, and not shame and inner critic, like it does create real stress on your body. Like you could be sitting on a couch looking at your screen, scrolling through Instagram, and all of a sudden, like your heart rate spikes, your breathing becomes faster, you get muscle tension, and like immediately your mood can shift, right? Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01What are we all talking about? Like cortisol. Like this is another driver of cortisol levers levels. So it's like, this is why the the logic alone, like having a conceptual understanding of this, doesn't it's not gonna cure the comparison. Like you can know that comparison is pointless and still feel your body react in a way when you see something that triggers that that feeling. Because it's not just a thought habit. It it is, like we said, it's a pattern, but specifically a nervous system pattern. So when your body feels a threat before your mind has clean language to describe what's happening. Happening, that's why it's not just like, okay, think your way out of it. Like you can you can figure it out. You have to be able to actually pause and downregulate yourself and find where you're at in that cycle that I mentioned earlier and be able to redirect it. And that takes practice.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So let's give a practical process to people on like how to maybe recognize, get out of this, all that type of stuff.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So
Pause Name Redirect In Real Time
SPEAKER_01if we were to do like a comparison pattern interrupt, right, this is something that we can use in the moment. So it would look like pause, name, redirect. The first step is to pause. So the second that you notice a comparison trigger, I want you to create a physical interruption. And when I say physical interruption, that means actually doing something to shift the environment, whether that is closing the app that you're looking at, or just putting your phone down somewhere where you can take a step away from it, or going outside, or standing up and going in another room. Like do something that signals to your body that you are intentionally interrupting the loot. And the pause is where we can regain some of that power back. And it's not just gonna, you know, magically make you feel better, but you can stop feeding that spiral that's starting to pick up headwind. So step one is that we pause. Step two is that we're going to name, right? So we're gonna say exactly what is happening out loud to yourself as ideal. If you're in a situation where that, you know, feels awkward or weird, you can say it to yourself in your head. But if you can say it out loud to yourself, that's better. And it could sound like, you know, I'm I am comparing my body to hers. I am comparing my results timeline to hers. I am comparing my marriage to her, you know, wedding photos, or I'm comparing my consistency to her, to her gym selfie. And it's like specifically break the fog that's happening so that way we can interrupt that thought pattern that I mentioned in that cycle, because comparison is gonna thrive in that really like vague shame. So anything that can push through that is gonna be helpful. And then step three is gonna be to redirect. So this is where we're trying to again gain the knowledge from that lesson. If I can ask, what is this showing me that I want? Right, then what value do I want to return to? So for example, if I compare my body, maybe the value is strength and confidence. Is that what's important to me that I really want? Right. Or if I compare someone's relationship, maybe the value is connection or honesty. Or if I'm comparing consistency, maybe the value is in self-trust, right? But it's like pick something that you can identify that you want and assign a value to it. Like, what is it that's actually so important to me about this thing that I'm seeing that I desire? And then that can give you an aligned action to apply that value to as opposed to like just sitting in this panic, anxious state. So like name and redirect.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So if your value is strength, right? Like I want to be strong, then the action may be like a 20-minute lift, right? Like not changing your whole lifestyle plan.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. Right. Like if the value is confidence, then the action might be putting on clothes that fit your current body instead of telling yourself that all of these things don't fit and I hate the way it looks on me. I'm like, I'm gonna punish myself for it. Or, you know, like we mentioned, connection. If the value is connection, the action might be having an honest conversation and um being vulnerable with somebody to to seek that connection. And if the value is self-trust, then the action might be just keeping a promise that you made to yourself today. It it doesn't have to be this big, big thing. And like comparison will give you the trigger, but redirecting it, the value is what gives you the direction. It's like we're we're going somewhere. This is the thing that I want. I need to go towards it. This is what's gonna get me there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah,
Values Over Metrics For Health
SPEAKER_02and I think like you really need to do like do your values over metrics. Like that this one can be huge for health. Metrics are super useful. Like we use them for data, but they can also be super comparison trap. Like I've even seen this with lab work. Like a client gets their lab work back, they're feeling amazing, like they've lost weight and their lab went maybe they think a wrong direction, and then they're like they completely devalue everything that they've done the last six months. And they're comparing it to themselves. Like they're doing something within themselves.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. That's another one is like comparing to a previous version of self. Like that's also relevant here. And again, metrics are not inherently bad. Like all of these things we talk about all the time, as far as like steps, protein, you know, lab measurements, like those things are all useful, but just like just like we talked about before, like it's data. So how are we using it? And they can become harmful when they disconnect us from those values. And so if a metric becomes the scoreboard that you're like measuring your worth on, that's when it's gonna start to introduce trouble in your day-to-day. And it's like there's always gonna be someone leaner, someone stronger, someone that has more followers, someone that can lose weight faster, or that, you know, effortly just looks put together all the time. But like you cannot win when the scoreboard keeps changing based on someone else's rules and their their metrics. So it's like that's all we have to get back to values of like what's important to me and what are the things that I actually want in my life? Like, am, you know, instead of am I as lean as her, it's like, can I ask, did I act in alignment with the strength value that I have today? Meaning, did I did I lift or did I stay according with my program? Like instead of being like, am I behind? It's like, okay, did I move one step in the direction that I said I wanted to go in according to my plan? Right. And a a big one is, does my body look like hers or why doesn't my body look like hers? And it's like, can we ask instead, did I treat my body like someone that I'm responsible caring for?
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_01Like, did I treat my body with the same level of care that I would treat someone else? And like that is a shift worth making.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I mean, and it makes it makes value-based action is more sustainable, right? Like it lowers the urgency and it helps you stay consistent long enough to actually see results.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because at the end of the day, it's like you're not trying to win at somebody else's life. Like you want to stop abandoning yourself in your own journey. So it's like if you're it what it what's that saying is like you can't go forward if you're always looking through the rearview mirror instead of the windshield. It's like, yes, that's that's as far as like reflecting on the past instead of what's present in front of you, but it's the same scenario. It's like if I'm always looking at somebody else's situation of what they're doing, how am I gonna stay focused on the things that are gonna actually move me forward? Right that are getting me to where I want to go. And so I want to give listeners like a practice for this week.
The Comparison Audit Weekly Practice
SPEAKER_01So I want you to do the comparison audit, and I want you to write down who or what triggers comparison for you most often, right? Like, is it a specific person that is in your life? Is it a social media account that you follow? Is it a relationship or you know, a business or a friend group? Like, where do you find your comparison triggers coming up most often? And then I want you to ask, what exactly do I tell myself when I see it? And I want you to give yourself honest sentences, write them down, right? Don't just like put together some like polished, like cleaned up version that you're not gonna have guilt around. Like put down the honest stuff, like whether it's, you know, she's ahead or I'm failing or I should look like that, or you know, I'll never have that, whatever it is. Then I want you to put what desire is underneath that envy. Is it confidence? Is it freedom? Is it support? Is it strength, love, whatever it is, is it peace? Then what value do I want to act from instead? So this is where we're getting clear in our direction. And then what is one action I can take to stay in my own lane today? So all of this is getting clear on what are the triggers, what what's happening, what's the thought pattern or feelings that are coming up from those triggers the most. And then what is something that aligns me back to myself and my journey and what's relevant for me. So then we have clarity.
SPEAKER_02And again, I want to reiterate that comparison is normal. We all do it. But what you need to recognize is it's not it's not harmless. It affects your mood, your nervous system, your decisions, your health behaviors, and your ability to stay consistent, essentially.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and it is normal, and you're not like everybody is susceptible to it. But at the end of the day, can you ask yourself, like, am I using the right measuring stick? Like, can you stick with my own? And it's like, where am I using someone else's visible life? Where am I using the display window comparing it to my back room? So the next time that comparison hits, do that pause, name it, redirect to your value and practice it in the moment and practice it again because it's it's not going to go smooth. The first probably five times you do it. It takes time and it takes practice. But if you're intentional with it, it can make a really big difference in the way that you see yourself in your own journey.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. So
Key Takeaways And How To Support
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