Going from Good to Great!

This podcast is especially for you if you are doing well. You are eating better, losing weight, and overall doing better than you have in the past.

BUT, have you hit a plateau? Do you feel like you are doing better than you used to, so you are comfortable and cozy but have lost some of the fire to keep going to your big goal?

This is so normal. I am going to break down why we do this and how to light your fire again so you can lose all the weight you want to lose.

And remember, this is permanent weight loss, not a diet.  I am always talking about you eating better forever, becoming the woman who lives differently.

Interested in working with me? Find my website here: https://courtneygraycoaching.com/workwithme

Transcript

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Music. Welcome to Modern body, modern life, the podcast for women who want to lose weight permanently, feel in control around food and learn how to stop obsessing about their body and food, a modern way of thinking about your weight, your body and your life includes mindset. I'm body and life coach, Courtney Gray, and each week I'm going to teach you the mindset tools that are necessary for changing the way you eat forever. We will uncover why you're eating when you said you were going to stop, what to do when you're really craving something, and how important it is to decide what you want to believe is possible for you. I believe we can get in the best shape of our lives at any age, a modern body, a modern life, all starts in your mind, and when you learn how to manage that, losing weight permanently becomes so much easier. Welcome to the Podcast, episode 67 going from good to great. I am really excited about this podcast today. It's something I've been thinking about for a few weeks. As you know, I've said before with my clients and with my group coaching program. It's amazing how there are themes that start happening. People start coming to the calls and saying, Gosh, you know, this is where I'm struggling. And I start seeing themes happening with my private clients and with my group coaching clients. And so this is a theme I have seen over and over again in the last few weeks, and I think it is going to be profound for you. If you are my client, strap in, get ready to dive into this on our calls in the next few weeks. But also, for those of you listening to the podcast, the idea from you going from good to great. What I mean by going from good to great is a pattern I see happening, is when people start to do better, they start losing some weight, they start overcoming some bad habits. So maybe you feel like you're doing a little bit better with your snacking. Maybe you feel like you're you've lost a few pounds, maybe 1015, pounds, and you're like things are going well, and as you're doing better and better and better, sometimes what can happen is we can lose a little bit of our fire to really keep going towards the end goal. I'll give you an example of what I saw with one of my clients this week, where I finally was like, that's it. I like, snapped my hands together after the call, and I said, this is something I need to talk about, because I'm seeing it over and over and over again. So for example, one of my clients, she wants to lose like, 25 to 30 pounds, and so she gets to this point where she's lost 10 and she's so proud of herself, which she should be, that's part of our work together is really having her feel proud of herself. Because what a lot of people do is they kind of berate themselves, and they kind of begrudge the whole process until they've lost all the weight they've wanted to lose. Have you ever done that before, where maybe you're on a diet, or maybe you're doing a program, and you're you have this vision of, like, when I lose my my goal, when I get to my goal weight, I'm going to feel amazing, but in the process, this kind of sucks, and like, I'm just doing it, and it's like you're it's like you're delaying happiness. And so in my program, we don't do that. I want my clients to feel proud and feel excited for their end goal, even if they're not at their end goal yet, beautiful, beautiful work. But sometimes what can happen is because we're feeling so much better, right? Our goal is 25 pounds, maybe we've lost 10. We've really broken through some of our bad habits, and we are doing so much better. We are doing good. It's a good thing, except for there's a sneaky little something that I want you to be aware of. Sometimes, when we're doing good, we've gotten rid of some of the pain from where we were at. Especially this happens, especially when I see, when people start working with me, where they come in, they're like, I am at my highest weight I've ever been. Or I am at a place where I don't even work out anymore. I've never been to that place, or I just went to the doctor, and my numbers are bad, right? So there's a lot of pain now, not physical pain, but emotional pain involved at that point. So then sometimes where we get to where some of that pain has eased off. We're doing good, and then we can get stuck in the good river, the river of good. We want to get to the bank on the other side, where it's great. We want to lose that, let's just say 25 pounds. We've lost 10. We're in the river. We're doing good, but we want to get to 25 pounds down. What can happen is people can just stay in the good it can keep you from reaching your big goals of wanting to feel great because the pain is no longer there. You're proud, you're happy, you're doing better. Maybe you're even eating better than you really ever have, and so you're just doing good in order to keep going, in order to continue on, in order to reach that amazing, great goal, you're probably going to have to feel some more negative emotion. You're probably going to have to break through some more bad habits of thinking and acting, and what that is going to take is you going to your own next level, and that is hard, especially since you're like but I'm doing so much better. I'm eating better than I ever have. I'm moving more consistently than I ever have. You get stuck in this, uh, but I'm doing it, yes, but you want to get to great. You want to blow your mind with where you want to get. In order to keep going, you are going to have to do better than good again. There are two sides to this. On the one hand, you want to be proud that you're eating better than you have before, that you're managing your mind. Maybe you're doing a little journaling. You're you've lost weight. People are telling you, oh my gosh, you look so great, and you're so proud. Maybe your partner is is saying, I'm so proud of you. It all feels so good. But at the same time, I encourage you to notice that some of the pain is gone, some of the getting dressed in the morning, that pain is not it's not as painful, but is there still some pain? Is some of the fire gone? And can you relight that fire? I really believe we constantly need to be relighting the fire. I want you to get to your goal weight, and then think what is next for me, and then what is next for me, and what is next for me, and constantly be going from your own good to great. Okay, so if you resonate with this, and you're like on the edge of your seat, like, Yes, I think this might be happening to me. I didn't even know. And the beauty of this conversation is, when I've had it over the last few weeks with some of my clients, they're like, Oh, my God, I really think you're right. I didn't even know. And again, because with my clients, we focus on being proud, being excited, you know, feeling the good feelings now, but we also want to go back to but are we at our goal? Are we feeling amazing? Is there still more work for us? So what needs to happen if you resonate with this? So if you feel like, Yes, I think you're right, Courtney, I think you're onto something, the first thing that needs to happen is radical honesty. Are you stuck in the good and that's great. That's great to be proud again. We don't want to take away the proud. We don't want to mentally whip ourselves to say, I'm not asking you to say, you know we've done good, but Jesus, you really have let your you know, your foot off the gas. That's not what I'm asking you to do. I'm asking you from a place of excitement and love and inspiration, am I stuck in the good this is a good thing. If you're like, Yes, I am beautiful. That means that there's so much more potential for you. So radical honesty. Are you stuck in the good and then the second question ask yourself, what do I truly desire? What do you truly want? And why do you want? It is your why? Compelling enough. Sometimes one of the problems is we get stuck in this. I'm doing good is because we don't have a strong enough why to why. Our our true desire, our big goal might not be compelling enough. And your why, you get to choose. And many times as you're going through this process, your why will probably change. Your WHY might have been in the beginning. I want my numbers to get be better, you know, any kind of when I say numbers, I just mean, when we go to the doctor, there's a whole bunch of different tests, you know. And sometimes they'll say, oh, wow, you're doing really well here with your cholesterol, or you're doing really well here with your blood pressure. These things might be going better for you right now. Okay, so what is your new why your maybe your old Why was to get some better numbers when you go to the doctor, you're there. What is your new why? And be on to yourself that your Why does not need to be some magical, earth shattering, life changing for everyone else. Why? It could just be summer's a fucking coming and you want to look a certain way in your swimsuit. You want to feel a certain way in your swimsuit, that is enough of a why. Don't think that it has to impact everyone positively. It can just be good for you. That's okay, but maybe you need to upgrade your why. Maybe the why you had to get to where you are has been great, but you need a new why to get to where you're going. Let me say that again, because I think it's pretty powerful. Maybe the old why you had that took you from pain to good was great for that moment in your life, but you maybe need a new why to go from good to great. And what do you want that why to be and be careful women, our why usually. Centers around everyone else. Our Why is like, I want to be there for my kids. No, no. What is your why? If you're being radically honest with yourself, yes, be there for the kids. Anything we do for ourselves is going to benefit others. But why for you, even if it's totally selfish, even if it's because when you take your clothes off in front of your partner, you want to feel like you look good. Maybe you want to just get up and down things better. Maybe you want to just feel like you look really great. Maybe you maybe you have a bikini right now that's that's been that you were last summer, or a bathing suit, not just a bikini, a bathing suit of some sort, that you wore last summer. And you feel like if I lost 1015, 20 more pounds, I would actually have to buy a new bikini. How fun would that be? That is a powerful why? So do you need to upgrade your Why do you need to come up with a better reason for why you want to keep going to your own next level? Do you have a powerful vision of you at that goal weight, or at that fitness level, or at that consistency. I know for a lot of people, they're like, yes, I want to lose weight. Yes, I have a goal, but I just want to become the woman that is consistent. I want to feel like it's just what I do. I remember a few years ago, one of our good friends brought his new wife over to to our house, and I remember she and I were talking, and she's a runner, and she just said that she doesn't matter where she is. It doesn't matter what when she gets home, she runs a few miles every day. She was if we get home from a road trip at six o'clock, I'm out. I'm running. My husband knows I'm I'm running. And I was like, What? What is happening? Like, I That's not how I am. If I go on a long road trip, I'm not running at 6pm at night. But there was a little part of me that's like, I want that. There was a little envy, a little like, I really was, like, she's amazing. I want that. And so I'm not, I don't want to run. But what do? What can I do to be her? What can I do to be that kind of person that is consistent, even if I get home late, right? So what kind of vision do you need of who you want to become, and do you like your why to get there? Also, here's a question to ask yourself, can you acknowledge that you're still in some pain, even though you are focused on feeling good and feeling proud and really, you know, driving your thoughts to the positive, take a moment and go, is there still some pain that I'm going through? It? Would I like to be a little bit smaller? Am I still kind of not where I want to be? Do I still want to feel even better? Do I still not quite feel like me in my body. Can we nod to the fact that we're not living up to our big potential? I really believe that if we are not achieving what we truly desire, what is available to us, we are not living up to our full potential. And I also believe that if we want it, it is possible for us to achieve it. I really believe that, especially when it comes to our bodies, not to say that it's not hard work, but if we want it, we can achieve it. It is possible for us. I'm taking a little break to let you know, if you are loving the podcast, you have to grab my free course lose weight for the last time, the mindset and strategy you've been missing this free course is available right now. It is for women who are tired of dieting only to gain the weight back. It is for women who want to lose weight permanently and feel like themselves again. I spent years wanting to lose weight every morning I would promise to eat better that day, and then by four o'clock, I would completely change my mind. I would think I don't care. It wasn't worth it. I should just love myself. I'm getting older. This is normal, that my body is changing, and it shouldn't matter, but it did matter, and it did matter to me. I lost weight permanently by learning how to feel and control around food, eat better consistently and follow through. And this course will help you do the same. So the link to get immediate access to this free course is in the show notes. It's also on my website, at Courtney Gray coaching.com you are going to love it. Now, back to the show and then here's the one that's That's tricky. This is one, one you're not going to want to hear what negative emotions are keeping you from achieving your big goal, what negative emotions are keeping you from achieving what you truly desire. Because even though you're doing better than you were, you are capable of more. But there is going to be some negative emotions involved. You probably have been listening to the podcast long enough to know that right in order for us to to achieve at a higher level in any area of our life, we are going to have to allow some negative emotions. And maybe for you right now, it's doubt. Maybe for you, maybe you're like, ah, you know what I'm I've lost. More weight than I ever thought possible, and there's doubt that you can go further. So maybe doubt is the emotion that you need to carry with you. Can you be willing to feel doubt and keep going? Can you be willing to feel frustration and eat even better? One of the big things I hear from a lot of clients is, is they're like, I'm eating better than I've ever eaten. Ate. I don't know how to say it. I'm eating better than I ever have and I feel like I feel like this should be enough. It's a powerful conversation. When I have a client say this, because I say to them is, you're going to feel negative emotion either way, we can feel the negative emotion of you sitting here thinking, I'm good, I'm doing good, but I'm not where I really want to be. I'm not great, right? That's negative in itself. Or you can say I'm going to be willing to feel the frustration, the thoughts that come up with, why do I have to do this? My girlfriends don't have to do this. All that the negative that can come up and then achieve your true desire, your true big goal. You're feeling the negative emotion either way. We might as well get the weight loss. We might as well fit into the swimsuit. We might as well look in the mirror and blow our goddamn minds with what we're seeing in the mirror, knowing there will be negative emotion either way, I would rather feel negative emotion getting to the great in all areas of my life than just settling for the good in all areas of my life. For me, I think to myself, if I'm feeling good, but there's a little bit of a ah, could be even better, then I might as well be willing to feel the negative emotion to get to the great so what negative emotions do you need to be feeling on a day to day basis in order to get to where you want to go? And what thoughts are going to come up? What another at the question you can ask yourself is, what what thoughts are your primitive brain going to give you? You've already done enough. That's the big one that's coming up with some of my clients. You've already done enough. Yes, you all have done a lot compared to what you used to do. But that doesn't mean you couldn't be doing even more and make peace with that even more, and love that even more, right? Even like doing even better, creating even better habits, creating an even better life for yourself. What changes do you need to make? And let's start with some small ones. What changes do you need to make, and is it possible you can start with some small little tweaks. Oftentimes, when we think about going to our next level, it feels big, it sounds big, and we feel like we need to go, Okay, I'm cutting out all carbs. That's not what we're doing here. That's what we're doing here. When you look at the life you want to live, how can you tweak it and do some things that are a little better than what you're doing now? What are some small things? And then what new thoughts. Do you need to think one new thought? I'm encouraging my clients to think is okay. How could this be easy? How can I keep going to my next level, which sounds sometimes big and scary, but how can it be easy? What would I What could I do that can keep me going light the fire. But how can it be easy? Not to say it's all going to be easy. But how can I make this easier for myself? And when you open up to that, oftentimes it becomes very clear what needs to happen in order for you to go to your own next level, in order for you to light the fire, in order for you to go from good to great. And here's what I'll tell you, happens also, and I think this is a beautiful thing. You have already gone from pain to good, and good has become kind of easy. So can you see a future where you can go from good to great, and then great becomes kind of easy, and then there's a new great available to you. There's a new level that is always available to you. It's going to take changing your thoughts, changing your habits, being open to lighting your own fire, and then you can just get better and better and better and better. Life can get better and better and better and better. So if you're one of my clients, strap in. We are going to be talking a lot about this. We're going to be talking a lot about this on our coaching calls. You're going to hear it in the coffee chats that are coming your way. I can't wait to do this work with you. Thank you for listening to the podcast. Have a great Tuesday. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently and feel confident and at peace around food. I invite you to head to Courtney Gray coaching.com to learn about how to work with me. I work with women privately, one on one, and I also offer small group coaching. There is a link to my website in the show notes you.