Being in the Process of Transformation

To be transformed, you have to be willing to be in the process of transformation.

When you lose weight in a sustainable, lovely, and empowering way by changing yourself, you are transforming. And while it is amazing to become transformed, I want to argue that the process is equally amazing.

Weight Loss, when done right, is so much more than weight loss, my friend.

Enjoy!

Interested in working with me? Find my website here: https://courtneygraycoaching.com/workwithme

Transcript

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Music. Welcome to Modern body, modern life, the podcast for women who want to lose weight permanently, feel in control around food and learn how to stop obsessing about their body and food, a modern way of thinking about your weight, your body and your life includes mindset. I'm body and life coach, Courtney Gray, and each week I'm going to teach you the mindset tools that are necessary for changing the way you eat forever. We will uncover why you're eating when you said you were going to stop, what to do when you're really craving something, and how important it is to decide what you want to believe is possible for you. I believe we can get in the best shape of our lives at any age, a modern body, a modern life, all starts in your mind, and when you learn how to manage that, losing weight permanently becomes so much easier. Welcome to the podcast. Episode 75 being in the process of transformation, I am coming in hot for this podcast. If you are listening in live time. So this episode comes out on Tuesday. If you are, when is it Tuesday? The it's going to come out Tuesday, April 22 it is actually Monday night, April 21 I have never, probably recorded a podcast this late in the game, but I have just been really, really, really busy. Life has gotten a little bit crazy, and I have been spending a lot of wonderful, truly amazing time with family, and I've really had to constrain. We all go through times where we really have to constrain on what is the most important. And I have been for the last probably 15 days, constraining to my family and my current clients. And it has been really wonderful. I'll tell you one thing that's been really wonderful is it has been wonderful to be able to coach my clients when I have not been able to be at home, to be able to take my laptop and, you know, deliver my coaching to them from anywhere and everywhere. Has been really, really convenient, but also really kind of amazing, amazing to be in. Oh, just the craziness of life and the most wonderful parts of life, really, when you think about how important spending time with family is, but also pretty amazing to be able to serve my clients at the same time. I'm coming in hot, not only with this podcast, but I'm also coming in hot telling you, if you are not on my email list, you have probably not heard that. I am doing a live master class this week that has already been planned and prepped and I'm ready to go that is called Three weight loss essentials. I am excited to share with you some new concepts about the brain and about emotional eating and about you changing you in order to lose weight forever. If you love the podcast, you are going to want to sign up for this master class. I'm always trying to think about you and think about my clients and teach things in a new way to help you understand. You know, so often I will get people emailing me and saying the way you describe emotional eating, or the way you describe my brain, or the way you describe in the moment when I give in and just eat the thing and get the fuck it's or whatever, the way I describe it, I resonate so much. I've had so many people say that, and I love it. And so what I'm constantly trying to do is I'm constantly trying to come up with new ways to teach. And I feel like the way I am teaching this struggle that so many women go through is very unique. So I'm really excited about this free master class. It will be on Thursday. The link will be in the show notes for you to sign up. The link will also be, if you follow me on Instagram, at modern body, modern life, it will also be there for you to sign up for this master class. So let me dive into what I'm going to be talking about today, being in the process of transformation. I quite often talk about my work as being very transformative. I think when you become a woman who feels in control around food, and you can do better at eating 95% of the time, that is a transformation, and it not only transforms your level of peace and control of your eating. It transforms your body and it transforms every area of your life. When you are dialing in emotional eating, when you are dialing in understanding your brain and upping your awareness and up upping your emotional intelligence, that is a transformation, and it affects every area of our life. That's why I'm always saying this is so much more than just weight loss. It was so interesting yesterday, I had two calls. No, no, was it yesterday? It was today. Oh my gosh. This has been a long it's been a long few weeks. I had two calls with two clients today, and we talked about weight loss. So they each had a 45 minute call. Both are doing great. Both are down in their weight. And during this 45 minute call, we talked about what they were eating, both of them for about 10 minutes. The rest of the time, was talking about all of the other circumstances and relationships and elements to their lives that is affecting the way they eat as affecting whether they follow through with their plan or not. It's fascinating, and so this work is transformative. So I want to tell you one of my best friends, Heather told me about a book that I have almost finished. I listened to it on my long, three and a half hour drive home today, and it is, and I just loved it so much. And it has nothing to do with weight loss, but it does have to do with transformation and up leveling your life and and going to your own next level. And I would think goal achievement, anything in that genre. This book will speak to you. And it's not too big of a book, too. I know sometimes I get these books and I'm like, Oh, this is, this is going to be a marathon. This one was pretty quick, so I'm almost done with it, but it's called the lion Tracker's Guide to Life, and it's by a man named Boyd Vardy, V, A, R, T, Y, and I'm just listening to it on Audible, and I'm really loving it's just fascinating. And it's talking about lion tracking. It's talking about his time in Africa, and he talks it goes really into deal about lion tracking, and it's just really fascinating. And it was fun to read a book that was different than any other book I've never learned anything about. You know what Safari life, or lion tracking, or elephant track, anything like that. So it was really fascinating. But I already knew I was going to do this podcast about, I think I was going to call the podcast something about letting it be hard, like being No, let me look exactly well, I'm talking to you. I'm just going to look in my phone. What was the I was going to call this podcast being willing to be bad at something. That's what I was going to call this podcast. And I was thinking on the way home as I was, you know, make pausing thing, pausing my audio book, and talking to my sister, and doing all the things. And I was thinking about this podcast about being willing to be bad at something, because for so many people, they just want this to be perfect and easy. And let me do this, and let me right away, let me start losing weight and and have it be just a downward slope. And I want to kick start. And it's just this. We're consumed right now with this fast, fast and easy. And so I'm like, you know, what if we could actually just allow ourselves to be a little bad at something at first? And the thing that's so ironic, what I was thinking about in the car is, is we do let ourselves be bad at so many other things, but for some reason, when it comes to our eating, probably because we feel like we've been bad at it for a long time, that we are just over it and we're wanting it to just be done. That's probably what this is. But anyways, as I was thinking about all that, he said something in the book that I literally paused, and I waited until I pulled over for my Starbucks run to actually play again. And I wrote the quote down in my phone, in my notes section on my phone. He said, I needed to learn to be in the process of transformation, not be transformed. Let me say that again. He was talking about his journey of becoming becoming better and better at being a lion tracker. But you can apply this to your life. I'm applying it to mine. He said I needed to learn to be in the process of transformation, not be transformed. And another way I kind of was thinking about this is every once in a while I will get I will work with a client who she will be in my program, and she will be losing weight and doing a great job, but really causing herself a whole bunch of unnecessary suffering, with thoughts, like, I'm not doing it perfectly. I'm not doing it good enough, really, almost making the process even harder. And with, like, the end goal of, once I hit my goal weight, once I hit those 15 pounds, this idea like that, The heavens are going to open, and all of a sudden, life is going to be magical, and butterflies are going to be flying around you all the time, almost like I'm obviously I'm exaggerating, but almost like I am going to mentally whip myself until I actually reach my goal weight, and then I'm going to be happy. And it just doesn't work like that. It just doesn't work like that. So I always tell these clients, hey, if you want to get to your goal faster and easier and in a more lovely way. Let's think about how you'll feel when you hit your goal. And I say, how, how do you want to feel? And so often, so many people say the same things. They say they want to feel confident. They say they want to feel at peace, and they say they and then they oftentimes don't even say a feeling, but they say, I just don't even want to think about this anymore. To me, that's kind of peaceful. I don't even want to think about this anymore. And I say, got it? You need to feel that way now, as we're working together on this, obviously you have to think about it, because we're going through the process, but we need to channel peace and confidence now. We need to learn to be in the process of transformation and be. Be okay with the process of transformation, and not just be waiting for the transformed at the end of it, not just be waiting for the weight loss, not just be waiting to make the money you want to make, not just be waiting for the promotion. But can we be okay in the process? Can we actually enjoy the process? I think if you learn to love the process of transformation, you will again, transform faster, easier, and it'll just be so much more lovely. I really believe that weight loss can be a lovely process, because again, not only will you be losing weight and looking in the mirror and winking at yourself like you're looking good sister, but you're going to be able to improve every area of your life. When it comes to so many things in life, we are willing to be bad at first, I was thinking about this. I'm like, Okay, are we willing to be bad at some things? We really are. Like, we know we need to allow ourselves to be bad in order to get good. Like, think about your job or what you went to school for. I have a lot of clients that are nurses and dentists, doctors, lawyers, teachers, estheticians, principals. I'm trying to think of other other women I'm working with and what they are. That's a lot of them. I get a lot of nurses. Anyways, I get a lot of these amazing women doing amazing things right? And on their first day of college, or on their first day of medical school, or dentist school or esthetician school, whatever it is, or their first day of residency, or their first day, you know, what is it where you have to go in and be like, teach under someone on your first day? You weren't like, you better fucking do this, right? Maybe you were saying that to yourself, but like, that's crazy, you probably look back now and said and said to yourself, God, I should have given myself a bit of a break. We don't expect to know all the things at first, but for some reason, when it comes to our body and our weight loss and all that, we just want, we want to be transformed. We don't want to be in the process of transformation, and I think I kind of uncovered this at first. I think it's because we've been doing it for so long that we feel tired, we feel worn out. I can't tell you how many women have joined my program and said, This is my last chance. And it always breaks my heart to hear that, because that is very I want to be transformed right now energy when this is a beautiful transformation. And so here's one thing I want to tell you right now, if you are hearing me and you're saying, yes, Courtney, you're right. I've been doing this for a long time, I want to question whether you've been doing my process for a long time, because going on diets, totally restricting, mentally, whipping yourself, trying to be perfect for a long time, is very different. What we're doing here at modern body, modern life in my program. So if you are coming to my master class on Thursday, if you have I have a few people that have scheduled consultations with me. If you have that scheduled coming up, if you are planning on reaching out and schedule a consultation, if you want to join one of my groups, please know this is going to be a first for you. This isn't going to be here we go again. This is going to be, let's go. Let's transform. Let's try something that we have never tried before, because that's what the women in my program will tell you. They have never done anything like what they've done before in my program, a mistake I see people making very often is they want it to be a quick fix again, because I think they've been doing this for a long time. Let's talk about what happens when you're willing to be in the process of transformation. One of the first things that happens is you don't take setbacks so badly or so seriously. You are willing to mess up. Because I'm constantly telling everyone, okay, you mess up, and come back to me with your mess ups. It's hard. It can be hard at first for especially women that are very type A and they're like rule followers, and they they've been on diet after diet after diet, and they're so used to they're so used to really only seeing results, meaning losing weight when they do things perfectly, but when you really buy into the transformational process, you're willing to work hard and mess up and have it be okay, especially with me as your coach, saying, Ooh, let's dive into that. Oh, let's see why you did that. And oh, let's celebrate your wins along the way too. Another thing that happens when you are allowing yourself to be in the process of transformation is you give yourself a little more grace. You're not in such a rush. You're not in such a rush to be at the end, you're not you're not so insistent on transformed. You're allowing the transformation. And let me tell you, everyone's transformation is very different. In my program, yes, we've got the weight loss, but the the amount of weight loss is different. The way they get there is very different. The obstacles they overcome are quite different. I. Another thing that happens when you're willing to be in the process of transformation is you give yourself time to do it right. If you have been struggling, like so many of my clients have for 2030, years with this, can you give yourself three months, six months, to do it right? You know, if you look at your teaching credential. How long it took for you to feel like, Hey, I'm getting really good at this. Can you give yourself time to do this and to do it right? So can you allow yourself to love the process of transformation? Can you identify with, Oh, I am being transformed. I am in the process. Are you in the process, and are you doing good at being in the process? I said to one of my clients today, and she really is working on gaining more confidence. And I said to her, I said, I want to make sure you see that there is a really strong level of confidence already inside of you. And I wanted her to see that and then be able to acknowledge, let's build upon that. Sometimes we can get in a space of where we're like, I want to be more confident. I need to more be more confident. And it's so good to start with, wow, I actually am kind of a badass. How am I already there? So how are you already in the process of transformation? If you're listening to this podcast, I selfishly want to think that you already are allowing this podcast to be a part of your transformation. So my friend, that is all I have in me. Tonight, I need to edit this podcast and get it all ready to go for you. So tomorrow morning, those of you that are going to go on your walk or go on your drive or listen, we'll have it ready to go. I would love for you to share this podcast with a friend. If you have a friend that you think would really benefit, it would mean so much for for me to for you to send it you can literally, like, share it, like, text it to her. It would be so great. And I hope to see you at my three weight loss essentials master class. The link is in the show notes. And hey, schedule a consultation. If you're wanting to talk about the different ways you can work with me and get this done, fix this area of your life for good, I'm here for you. Have a great Tuesday. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently and feel confident and at peace around food, I invite you to head to Courtney Gray coaching.com to learn about how to work with me. I work with women privately, one on one, and I also offer small group coaching. There is a link to my website in the show notes you.