10 Powerful Questions That Will Change Your Life

"The quality of your questions determines the quality of your life" ~ Tony Robbins.

I will teach you how to ask yourself powerful questions to uplevel your body and life.

Get ready to be inspired, get clarity, think big, and go to your own next level.

Whether you want to lose weight forever, get stronger, get healthier, move more, make more money, change careers, get stronger relationships.....this podcast is the answer.  Enjoy!

Courtney

Click here for all the details of my July Coaching Experience....Ready for Change: https://mailchi.mp/courtneygraycoaching/julyreadyforchange

Transcript

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Welcome to the podcast episode 7710 powerful questions that will change your life. I will probably end up throwing more than 10 questions at you, because even as I was preparing for this podcast, I would ask one question, and then there would be like four iterations of that one question, or like four different follow ups of that one question. But let me tell you, questions have the ability to change your life. I think it was Tony Robbins who said the quality of our questions determines the quality of our life 100% I agree. And so let's dive into these questions, because I'll tell you, these questions will change your life if you allow them to change your life, you can decide that you want them to change your life. Did you know you can do that? There have been times in my life where I have said I am deciding that that experience is going to be a game changer. I am deciding that that conversation is going to change my life. I am deciding that ruminating or noodling on that question is going to be the thing for me. You can decide that it is, and I hope you do that with this podcast. These questions can be a catalyst, but you also have to take the first step. You know that, right? You can't just hear a question and then go, where's the change? You have to, once you ask yourself a powerful question, come up with a unique, different answer, anything maybe, than you've experienced before, then you have to take the first and often scary step. So let's dive in. If anything were possible. What do you want? If anything were possible? What do you want? Now, let me tell you what often is going to happen with a lot of these questions, especially this one, you are going to go back to your past as to what is possible. It's a very forward facing question in terms of our future. Forward facing question, if anything were possible, but we as human beings are wired for safety, and safety usually takes us back to the past because the future seems a little bit scarier because it's unknown, the past is known. So we return to our past to determine what is possible for our future. But remind yourself of this. Anytime you are wanting to create something new, you can't go back to the past, because then we're just rinsing and repeating what we've done in the past. In order to do something new, we have to think something new. We have to believe something bigger is possible. Oftentimes, we can look around at other people for inspiration, but we definitely don't want to turn to the past, but it's so common that we do, so that's okay. So if you notice yourself thinking, Oh, if anything were possible, we think about what's been possible in the past. We think about the education we've had. We think about the amount of time, and when I say past, it literally could be even like two minutes ago, two weeks ago, this last year passed. It's like what you're currently living really is the past, if you think about it, like in terms of two minutes ago in the past. So we base what's possible on that. That's not what we want to do if anything were possible. And this gets us out of all of our limiting beliefs, right? The beliefs that we've had in the past have created our current reality. Let me say that again, the beliefs we have believed, the thoughts we have thought in the past, have created where we are now. So if we want to think something's more possible for the future, we have to start thinking different things are possible. So consider the different areas of your life, your body, your schedule, your health, your movement, your money, your relationships, your hobbies, your friends. I think I love I think of out of all of these, you know what? Each one, I think I resonate for you, wonderful listener, the most is your schedule, and here's why that really is one of the things we have way more control than we think we do. Oftentimes, I hear a lot of women talking about their life in terms of their daily schedule, as if it just happens to them, and it's one of the things, kind of like food, the food we put in our mouth. It's one of the things we have a lot more control over than we think. And I think it's actually easier than what we put in our mouth, because there's usually not any addiction involved with our schedule. There's not a lot of dopamine involved with our schedule. We really do have more power over our days, our day to day, to do's than we give ourselves autonomy over and think about this, what you're doing on. A day to day basis is making up your weeks, is making up your months, is making up your years. And even small, small changes in your day to day schedule will have a huge effect on your life overall, the compounding effect on your life. I can't tell you how many women I have coached in order to lose weight, and one of the things they have done is they have wanted to start getting to bed a little earlier and start waking up a little earlier. This is a game changer in terms of your life, if you think about getting better sleep, feeling more in control, waking up, being able to, you. You know, pray, meditate, journal, move even for 20 minutes. It changes your life. So if anything were possible, if that feels really big for you, then really take it down to your day to day life, or take it down to your money, or take it down to your hobbies, friends, travel house, or maybe take it down to your organization, right? Sometimes it's hard to believe big, big, big things are possible. I think you might if you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you might remember me talking about how I went to a Tony Robbins conference years ago, and it was a game changer for me. In fact, this is so fun, but I just I love Tony Robbins, and I just looked at Tony Robbins schedule online to see if he is coming to our area anytime soon, and he's coming in October, and I'm going to offer my twins, I'm going to offer to pay them, I'm going to offer to pay to send them to Tony Robbins in October. And I can't wait. I know they're going to want to do that, because they remember my experience being so powerful. So anyways, but when I was at the Tony Robbins event, it was very much anything's possible. Anything's possible. Do you want to own a jet? Do you want to walk on Mars? And it felt too big for me. And so one of the things I thought, if anything were possible, is creating my dream pool. And was that possible? And that was what I really could focus on there. And I also thought about money and other things, but I had a hard time thinking about what's possible. So let me tell you, too, in answering all of these questions, this work, when we think of just this one Podcast, episode 77 this podcast takes practice. So yes, these powerful questions can change your life, but it's not just listening and then you were changed for the rest of your life, although it could be for you, I hear you, but it also is the practice of thinking this way is what will change your life. So if anything were possible, what do you want think on that all week? How do I want to age? Have you ever thought about that. I think about it all the time as I started feeling like I was aging. I don't even know when that happened, probably after my 30s, but I remember thinking, Oh, I can see myself aging. And I started thinking about it. I started seeing some women and men, but especially women that were aging in a way I didn't want to. Oftentimes, when we see people doing things we don't want to, living in a way we don't want to sometimes we get like, Oh, don't judge. Don't judge, don't be negative. But actually, sometimes seeing people living in a way we don't want to live just shows us what we do how we do want to live. So it's not the end of the world. We can love them and wish them well and send them on their way, but oh, it's like, Oh, I see how that person is living in this way. I don't want to live in that way. That must mean I want to live in this way. Let's focus on that. Let's go to the positive. So how do you want to age? It's a fucking huge question that deserves our time, and I want you to know it's a choice. How are you choosing to age? And let me tell you, you're making the choice whether or not you're actively deciding to make it or not. You are choosing how you want to age right now. You are choosing how you want to live. You are choosing how big of a life you want to live. You might as well be active in the process. So how do you want to age? What do you want your aging experience to be like? Do we have total control over it? No, but, man, we have more control than most people are are owning. We have more control than most people are owning. I went to the Banff film festival here in Chico, California. It's like an independent film festival. And they had all these different films, and there was one with this man from Australia, who was 72 or 73 and he was a rock climber. And I love rock climbing. I have not rock climbed in years. It really kind of reignited something like when I think about what's possible for me, what I want to be doing in my life. Going to that film festival was really powerful, because it made me go, oh my god, I love rock climbing. Why am I not rock climbing? What is happening? There's a rock awesome rock climbing gym in my town. Why am I not doing this? Because I actually like going to the gyms. Of course, outside rock climbing is great, but I'm, I'm happy as a clam going into an. Indoor gym. So this guy was 72 and he was a rock climber. He's decided that that's possible for him. Would you like to, at the 72 age range, be a rock climber? You could, if you wanted to. Is there a part of you that doesn't believe that that's available to you? Isn't that interesting? Maybe you said yes, maybe you said no, but answer why? If you thought, Oh no, maybe you don't want to do it. But it's not a matter of of whether you can. It's just a matter of wanting. So, what would you want to do if anything were possible? So my aging experience, I watched this, this film, small film, with this guy that was 72 rock climbing, and I was like, Yeah, that's what I want my aging experience to be. I want to be very strong. Here's the next question of that. You know, of this, how do I want to age? How do I want my aging experience to be? Questioning is, do you think you have the power over it? If you don't That is incorrect, and let's dive into that. Why don't you think you have the power over it? Maybe it's just old conditioning. Maybe you never thought about it. Maybe you never considered it. I can't tell you how many times in my life I thought I just never thought about that. I just never even considered that an option. What a beautiful awareness that is. Here's the next question, Am I happy with the way I'm living my daily life again? This goes back to your schedule. A lot of times we think really big for our lives, which is awesome. We can get ourselves to think big for our lives, but what we really don't realize is our our most poignant power in the moment is our day to day schedule. Are you happy with the way you're living your daily life? Are you happy with the way you wake up? Are you happy with what you do after you wake up? Are you happy with how much TV you watch? Are you happy with the way you eat? Are you happy with what's in your pantry? Are you happy with what's in your freezer? Are you happy with the way you move your body? Are you happy with the way you spend your time if you're on social media, which most of you are, about six months ago, maybe longer, I really wasn't happy with the amount of time I was spending on social media. Now I have to be on social media because of my job, but I think I was using that as an excuse to be on there way more than I really need to be. I was not happy with my consumption of Instagram. I would spend time on Instagram, and I just felt like I would tunnel into this void and then be like, What am I doing? Do I like looking at pictures of Henry Cavill and watching videos of Tom Holland and Zendaya, and do I like watching, you know, videos of home renovations? Yeah. I mean, if I, if I, yeah, I do like those things. But is it making my life better? No, no, it's not making my life better, especially since it's not a pop in for 10 minutes. Sometimes Do you ever feel like you enter into this vortex and all of a sudden you come out of it and it's been two hours and you're like, What the You're like, what the absolute F happened right here? I didn't like the amount of time I was giving to Instagram. I didn't like thinking that, Mark, is it? Mark Zuckerberg, the Facebook Instagram guy? I didn't like thinking that Mark Zuckerberg got me that he was able to create a system that hacked my brain into giving me dopamine every time I swiped. I really didn't like it, and it wasn't adding to my life at all. Being on Instagram was not making me more healthy. It was not connecting me to my kids. It was not strengthening my relationships. It was not making me more money. It was not making the world a better place. It was not adding more value to you, the people who I love. It was not helping my clients in any way. There was nothing about it that was really making my life better. So are you happy with the way you're living your life? Are you happy with your productivity? Are you happy with what you're choosing to get done in your days? Are you happy with the way you're spending your weekends? Weekends seem to be really challenging for people, and there's this idea that, like, weekends should be fun and relaxing, but in the end, I think there's a lot of people that are not satisfied with the way they're showing up for their weekends. Why? If that's you, why? How would you like to show up on your weekends? What would you like to do? How do you want to feel at the end of your weekend? Here's a great question. This is the great this is the question I asked myself when it came to Instagram. Is this serving me? Is this serving me? You can ask yourself this question about a lot of things that we turn to in order to not feel social media, alcohol, your bedtime routine, TV, procrastination, the books you're reading, the podcast you're listening to now listen when you're. Asking yourself, Is this serving me some of these things you're gonna say, Yes, it is. Some of these things you're gonna say, yeah, the alcohol I'm drinking is serving me, like I've done a much better job of reining it in, and it is serving me. Yes, I actually like what I'm doing on Instagram. It is serving me. Yes. I actually like the podcast I'm listening to. It is serving me. I like the books I read, but, but just be aware of if some of the answers are no, okay, then why are we doing it? Is this serving me? Is this serving my life? Is this serving humanity? Powerful questions, if it were easy, if I could snap my fingers and have a new habit in place, what would it be? And oftentimes you will find the answer to this question is something that's actually pretty small. It's not earth shattering, like I would be running marathons. It would be a habit. And we think of the habits, it's usually something like I would wake up a half hour earlier, I would work out in the mornings. I would not snack after I'm finished dinner. Most of the time I would have one drink less. I would take a walk every day for a half hour. I usually a lot of times. These things are pretty small, but yet at the same time pretty significant. When you think about the advantages and the compounding effects over time. So if it were easy, if I could snap my fingers and have a new habit in place, what would it be? And then you have to ask yourself, if I really could snap my fingers and have it, is it important to me, and if it is important to you, why are we not doing it, what is standing in your way? And then we can ask ourselves, so would it be worth going through a rewiring of your brain? Would it be worth going through the possible discomfort in order to create that habit? What is standing in your way. It's so important that you see what is standing in your way, and I'll tell you right now. We know what's standing in your way. It's you. It's you, and we can say that with love, you're standing in your way, but really, what? What besides you, we know it's you. What is it? What feels so hard about waking up a little earlier? What feels so hard about meditating for five minutes a day. What feels so hard about going on a Instagram cleanse and not doing it for a week? What feels so hard about it? What feels so hard about brushing your teeth after dinner and not eating for the rest of the night? What feels so hard about that? And this one is an interesting one. It's a little it's a little in left field, but I feel called to include it here. Do I want to continue allowing this in my home, and specifically with this one I'm talking about what you're keeping in the pantry. Do I want to continue allowing this in my home? Do you have to keep this one food in your pantry? Oftentimes, when I coach women, and they're saying things like, I just ate, you know, a handful of chocolate covered pretzels, or I just did this, or just this, sometimes it's hard to have in the pantry only things that you want. I am very, very aware of that. But oftentimes I find that we keep things in our pantry or in our freezer that we tell ourselves, well, these are for my kids, but when it really comes down to it, your kids aren't eating it, but you're eating it. You're eating it in the middle of the night or in the middle of the day. And it really turns out that it with we're lying to ourselves when we say really is for our kids, I remember there's been a few times where I bought something and I'm like, Oh, this is with the kids. Or I've allowed something. My kids have brought something home, and then it's three weeks later and they're not eating it. They're not even aware that it's in the pantry. It's not calling to them at all. But yet I was tortured by it, and so then it makes us say, Could we just throw it out? Do we have to continue allowing this in my home now, if you don't have kids at home, and it's just you or it's just you and just you and your partner, unless it's your partner's favorite food, do we need to continue keeping it in our home? So often, I have this conversation with my clients, and I say, if that is if the goldfish crackers are calling you so hard at 9pm why are they in the house? And then if you say, Well, my partner, does your partner really love them as much? Or is that just an excuse. Or can we go over to our partner and say, Give me your hands and hold your partner's hands and say, I have an addiction to the little yellow goldfish cracker. Can you tell goldfish crackers are kind of hard for me to say no to. I would say to my husband, can I just talk to you about these goldfish crackers? I feel like I'm gonna lose my goddamn. Mind if they're in the pantry? Would you mind if we don't keep them in the house? I would probably argue 99% of the time that your partner does not share that addiction, or your partner loves you enough to say, I've got you get rid of the goldfish crackers, and then you get to have the opportunity to throw them away, even though there's still half a box left. So often when I go through this process, and it is a process with my clients, there has, I don't know that there's ever been a time where my client said, this is a trigger food for me. It's also a trigger for my partner, and if I asked if we could not bring it into the house anymore, they would be mad at me. Never, never happened. In fact, so often, more than not, when women hire me, they say that their partner is also wanting to get healthier, is also on board with them, getting healthier, and sometimes even watches my videos, and sometimes even listens to my podcasts. Men, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. So do you want to continue allowing that in your home? And this could be a lot of different things, but specifically for this question, is in your pantry. Because here's what I think, if you have a pretty clean home, and by clean home, I mean not clean in terms of white glove running a finger on your baseboards, clean. I'm talking about the food in your house being clean. Let me tell you what makes it so much easier at nine o'clock when you're jonesing for something but there's nothing there. Example, last night, my sister and I were not last night was my dessert night. It's the night that I eat dessert about every other night. And so last night, I said to my sister, we are on the way home from something. I can't even remember what it was. And I said, Hey, do you want to get some dessert? And she's like, Yeah. And I go, let's go to the store, and I'm gonna make my I have a favorite dessert. I said, I'll make it. I have a favorite dessert I make. I said, I'll make it for us, because I don't have the ingredients in the home, because I want to keep my house free of things that at 9pm I'm gonna have a hard time saying no to I don't want to have the battle in my head. I don't want to have the battle, so I keep my house pretty clean. There's not always nothing in my house to eat, but I keep my house pretty clean. So we had this dessert, and then we ate it, and the dessert was gone, and tonight I won't have dessert. And am I going to go, oh, that dessert was so good, I'm going to say that, but it's not in my house, so it's not going to be calling to me from my pantry. Okay, next question, what do you want to believe about you? This is a big one. This one has to be noodled on. What do you want to believe about you? This one can be a little tricky, so I'm going to give you some help. Think about a woman that you think is amazing in whatever for whatever reason. You just think she's a rock star. What do you believe about her? Obviously, you believe she's a rock star, but what do you believe is possible for her? What do you believe she has potential for would you like to then take those things and make them what you want to believe about you. For example, my coach, I have, I've had a few coaches over the years, but my main coach, who I love, I have really great beliefs about I think she's absolutely amazing. I love her, and I have really great beliefs about her. I believe if she wanted to start a makeup line tomorrow, she would kill it and make all the money in the world. I believe if she wanted to start a nonprofit, and, you know, end hunger in America, she would make a huge dent in ending hunger in America. I believe if she actually wanted to start running marathons, she would probably like get to the Olympics. She's absolutely amazing. I have amazing beliefs about her. And if I had a hard time coming up with the beliefs that I wanted to believe about myself, a little hack for you is I could think about the beliefs about her, and then I could say, I want to believe that about me. So I could think about my beliefs about her, and I think, wow, if she puts her mind to something, she does it. That's what I want to believe about me. This is what I could be thinking. That's what I want to believe about me. So think about that person in your life and the beliefs you have about her. Oftentimes, if you think she's amazing, there's a part of you that would like to also have those same beliefs about you. So if you have a hard time thinking about what you want to believe about you. Think about the people that you aspire to, the people that you think are amazing, the people that you maybe envy a little bit, or the people that you are inspired by, and think, What do I believe about them? That is what you probably want to believe about you. Last question or questions, what kind of woman have I been and who do I want to start being? And we all make excuses, all of us, even me, even though I feel like I'm really great at making things happen and living the life I want to make, we all make excuses. Excuses stand in the way of going to our own next level. But. Kind of woman have you been? What excuses have you allowed? And who do you want to start being? And here's a great thought for you, if you want to start being someone that doesn't make excuses, that might be hard because you have a primitive brain. So here's what I would suggest. I want to start being the woman who has that excuse and who can actually still show up for my life the way I want to. So ask yourself, what is standing in the way of you being that woman? What is standing in the way again? It's it's you. You're standing in your own way, and that's okay. It's actually pretty powerful. If you're standing in your own way, then that means all your limitations are inside of you, which means you have the ability to not allow yourself to be limited anymore. And for all of these questions, my friend, for all of these questions, when you answer these questions, because I want you to answer them, but I don't want you to just answer them and go, that was a really great podcast, and then go about your same daily life. I want you to answer these questions, and I want them to be a catalyst for you to go to your own next level in any area of your life, and your next level often. Can be starting small. It can be losing five pounds. It can be starting a morning routine that you actually stick it can be going for a walk 30 minutes a day. It can be actually meditating. And if you really, I have so many people I've talked to that want to start meditating, dude, start with five minutes. I promise you so much power in five minutes. Maybe you want to pray, pray for two minutes. Maybe you want to think, how do I want to feel today? And decide to think that on purpose I did this work this morning. I said, Okay, Courtney, how do I want to feel today? And I said, I want to feel proud. Let's go and I'm going to channel being proud all day in my body. I'm proud right now as I do this podcast. So here's the next step, though, when you think about doing any of this work, answering any of these questions, and having them be the catalyst to change your life, it's going to take you taking a step, taking a step, but I don't want this to just be a step where you do something for three days, and then go back to what you were doing. I want this to be a step of you changing you, and what's gonna have to happen? Are you ready for it? It's going to be some flavor of discomfort at first. It might not be uncomfortable because all of this like, you're probably like, yes, like these kind of podcasts. I love these kind of podcasts. I love listening to these kind of podcasts. I love delivering these kind of podcasts. Oftentimes, when we listen to these podcasts, we feel empowered and inspired and we have this level of belief. There's almost a vibration in our body. It's amazing. But here's the reality, in order to actually have these questions be a catalyst for your life. There will be discomfort, and that is why most people won't do it. After a few days of doing this, discomfort will set in, and we do not want to feel discomfort, and so we stop what will that discomfort be for you? Can you identify what the discomfort will be. Will it be frustration? Will it be just like, this isn't even a feeling, but just kind of, I don't want to be it like resistance, there will be some discomfort. And can you identify what it will be and then actually allow it? Will it be? Doubt? Will it be? What would be the discomfort that comes from thinking a thought like, what's the point? I think one of the reasons why so many people want to meditate or wake up earlier, or do any of these, but let's take something like meditating. I think so many people want to meditate or pray or connect or something with God or their future self or themselves or universal energy, and they don't, and I think they think, what's the point? It's just five minutes. So what would be the feeling when you think, what's the point? The feeling would be? Let me, let me put my hand on my chest and think about what this feeling is, if I actually thought, what's the point? Because I think, blah, but that, what is the name of the feeling? Is it apathetic? Maybe it's apathetic. It's just a It's not necessarily even a negative. It's just like a not positive. So it's maybe apathetic, and that is uncomfortable. In order to go to your own next level in any area of your life, there will be discomfort, and your primitive brain does not want you to feel discomfort. So that's your homework. Your homework is literally to feel discomfort on purpose. It's one of the curriculum I have in my program. There's, I have a video teaching this discomfort on purpose, choosing your discomfort on purpose. So. So I'm going to end by telling you something really exciting. It's actually a little sneak peek. I'm not telling you all the details, but I have something coming. I have something coming that I'm working on. If you loved this podcast, stay tuned. I would suggest getting on my email list. If you're not already there, just head to courtneygra coaching.com there's a link in the show notes, I'm sure. And get on my email list, because something is coming that I've never done before and that I'm really excited about, and it has to do with your body and your life and believing big things are possible, going to your next level and living the most amazing life you could have ever imagined. Something is coming, and I will be talking about it more on podcasts to come, and I can't wait to invite you to join me. Have a great Tuesday. You.