Ready for Change....Your Weight, Health, Exercise, Mindset, Your LIFE!

I am diving into WHY it is hard to change, even though we want it.

Click HERE for all the details and to enroll in my coaching experience for June, Ready for Change.

It is not as simple as tips or tricks or repeating something for 21 days.

But real permanent change is possible for you, when you understand the mindset and strategy to creating new habits.

As always, in this podcast, I will start by explaining why you have been struggling to make the consistent changes you want to make in your life.

Once you understand what is getting in your way you can move forward and become the woman who changes for good.

Click here for all the details of my July Coaching Experience....Ready for Change: https://mailchi.mp/courtneygraycoaching/julyreadyforchange

Transcript

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Matt, welcome to modern body, modern life, the podcast for women who want to lose weight permanently feel in control around food and learn how to stop obsessing about their body and food a modern way of thinking about your weight, your body and your life includes mindset. I'm body and life coach, Courtney Gray, and each week I'm going to teach you the mindset tools that are necessary for changing the way you eat forever. We will uncover why you're eating when you said you were going to stop, what to do when you're really craving something, and how important it is to decide what you want to believe is possible for you, I believe we can get in the best shape of our lives at any age, a modern body, a modern life, all starts in your mind, and when you learn how to manage that, losing weight permanently becomes so much easier. Welcome to the Podcast, episode 79 ready for change, and we're talking about your weight, your health, your exercise, your mindset, your life. We're talking about changing all of the things. So first of all, it's 85 degrees here, and I could not be happier. It's like my temperature 80 to 90 is a dream come true for me. I'm just very, very happy. I work very hard at making myself happy, but it's so much easier when it's 85 degrees out. And today, I'm really excited because my niece is home from college, and so she and I are going to go to lunch and we're going to lay out and we're I'm taking the day, besides doing this podcast, I'm taking the day. I'm in heaven. And so I'm excited to record this podcast with you today, and I want to start by reading a quote by Marianne Williamson. I sent this quote to my email list last week, and I had so many people reply like, I think, more than ever, and just say, I needed this, or this is amazing, or I created this to be my screensaver, or, Oh, my God, I love this so much. And this is a quote I've had, like, on one of my private Pinterest boards for years. And this is a quote that my friend Heather, I think it might be her favorite quote, and she has it, I think she hasn't actually printed up in her house, and so I'm going to read it to you and it just I hope it will, I hope you will resonate with it as much as I do, and as much as a lot of the women on my email list resonated with it. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be? Brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous, actually. Who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not in just some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. I just feel like this is an all encompassing, amazing statement, quote from Marianne Williamson. And you know, if you don't believe in God, there's many people that do believe in God, but if you believe more in universal energy, or any other type of significant energy in your life, you can simply replace, instead of saying God, you can simply replace with with whatever speaks to you. I just love this quote so much. This quote inspired me so much that I decided to do something I haven't done before. I talked about it a little bit on the podcast last week, I have been thinking about creating a group experience for all the women, all the women who have worked with me before, women who have never worked me before, women who have never done a program for themselves before I came up with this group experience in a meditation I will tell You, I was thinking about how fun it would be just to do a one month program, because I've never done usually I do either three months or six months or year long programs. I've never done a one month program. I just thought, God, it would be so fun. And I thought it would be really a powerful month at a lower price than I've ever done before. Just really to give women who have never done a program, this opportunity to blow their mind, and an opportunity for clients who have worked with me before to work on other goals or just to recommit, or just to up level even further. I know my own journey when I started a coaching program years and years ago, it was I. It for about three years. I paid every month, and I did it for about three years. I was gaining results in my life that just compounded and compounded and compounded. So I'm really excited for this program. I'm excited, and I think everyone should join this program. Will optimize this quote that I just gave you, and help you take the inspiration that we so often hear, right? We so often listen to a podcast and we feel inspired. We so often see like a quote on Pinterest or Instagram, and we feel inspired, and we'll save it, you know, we'll save it to our Instagram account. This group, this, I'm calling it an experience, because group just doesn't sound as fun, is going to help you take the inspiration you feel and actually put it into inspired action. I especially love the part where it says, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. Besides the fact that I love the word fabulous, and I use it all the time, it's one of my words in my repertoire of words. So the quote is, who am I to be? Brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous. And then the next part of it is, actually, who are you not to be? And that's why I wanted to create this experience for women who are ready for more, ready for change, but maybe who are struggling to do it on their own. And so I want to talk for a moment about why we struggle to create change in our lives. I think it's a few reasons I'm going to give you. I think I have like seven reasons here. So I think one of the main reasons we struggle is because we don't believe it's really possible for us. It takes practice to believe something is possible that is not yet possible. It takes practice for us to change our mind for us to change a belief system. Every once in a while, someone can say something that can literally be almost like energy slap in the face, and that's an amazing moment. But most of the time, it takes us time to think something over and over and over again, to start actually believing it's true, because oftentimes it's not just a belief about the world, it's also a belief that, like, reflects our own self concept. You've heard me, I often use the example of pickleball, like, if you want to get good at it, you know that you have to practice. I'm not going to go out right now. I'm laughing now because my husband and I were going to join in this, like it was a charity like competition, pickleball competition. And I'm like, let's do it. And I could just see my husband is very competitive and very athletic. He's one of those annoying people where you could teach him, like, something he's never done before, and he would be good at it and, and so I'm like, let's do it. And I'm not, I'm I'm good at, well, I'm decent at tennis. You know, for someone who doesn't play tennis very much, I'm pretty decent at it. And so I assume to myself that I'm gonna be good at pickleball, but I don't play pickleball very much. All my girlfriends who play, I'm sure, are much better than me, but I'm like, let's go. It'll be so fun. And I can see his face looking at me like, you're gonna be my partner. I'm thinking of all the girlfriends. He's like, can I be with her? I'm thinking all these girlfriends. He's thinking he'd rather be with them. But anyways, like, I know that if I really wanted to get good at pickleball, I would have to practice. I would have to practice, right? And I believe that if I did practice, I would get better. You believe that too? I'm sure for you, yeah, if I believed it, I would get better. And here is why, because people around us are hopping on the pickleball craze, and they are getting better. So we believe it's possible for us, because it's possible for everyone around us, but maybe the change you want to make in your life is a change that you're not seeing anyone else be able to master around you, maybe you're not seeing anyone in your life that actually even wants to make this change. So you're like, not only do I not think it's possible, I don't even know if I should want this for myself. So believing something is possible for us can be hard to do. It has to be practiced, and that is what keeps a lot of people staying from doing what they truly desire to do, is because they don't believe it's possible. So that's one of the things we're going to be working on in this group, is you upping your belief that it is possible for you to want what you want, figure out what you want, if you don't know, and then want what you want, and that you can believe you can actually get there. Number two reason why we struggle to create change in our lives is we've never really created massive change or up leveled in a major way. For many people, they've just been kind of going along at life. Yes, maybe they've gone to college, yes, maybe they've created an amazing career, but they've never actually said I really want to, like, start eating better. I really want to be more consistent at my workouts and done that and actually done it. They've never actually created the change they've wanted to make. And so when we look at our past and we're like, yeah, I've wanted to do this for a long time, and I know there. Many of you listening that you're like, I have been wanting to lose weight or get in shape or get healthy or get in a lower dress size or be more consistent for a long time. It's hard to change when you don't believe that it's possible. It's hard to change when you've never really done it before. And so often we look for all the evidence in the past. We look at all the reasons why it's not possible for us to do what we truly want to do. Number three, we get stuck in confusion of what we truly want. And sometimes this can happen at the beginning, when you're trying to decide, yeah, I want to change. What exactly do I want? I want a lot of different things. There can be confusion there, or sometimes you can actually start making progress to your goal. And then there can be confusion there. So confusion is always the emotion that our primitive brain leads us to in order to keep us from moving forward. Because remember, your primitive brain does not want you to move forward. Your primitive brains, ultimate time, ultimate day for you, would be sitting on the couch watching a TV marathon while you scroll on your phone and while you eat cookies. That's what your brain wants for you. And if you're in confusion of what to do, you're not actually doing right. You're in confusion. This is why so many people get stuck in consuming. And what I mean by consuming is not food in this moment, consuming is gathering more information. Oftentimes, when we are in confusion, we go into I need to figure this out. I need more information. I need to learn more. I see this a lot, especially with my business clients, who are entrepreneurs. They would love to spend all day listening to podcasts, watching master classes, reading books and gathering information on how to get better at selling, because the thought of actually selling is terrifying. So they would rather stay in the confusion of I don't know exactly what to do, because if they knew exactly what to do, they would have to do it, and that is terrifying. Or it's not only terrifying, it's maybe hard to do. Maybe emotion comes up that you don't want there. Maybe it's like so we get stuck in a bit of confusion of what we truly want. Because when we're confused, we don't actually have to move forward. Moving forward is when you are going to fail. It is when things aren't going to go right. You're going to have to pivot, you're going to have to analyze, you're going to have to take ownership, you're going to have doubt, you're going to have insecurity come up. So confusion is a beautiful safe space to sit in, and confusion is why we struggle to create change. Number four of why we struggle to create changes. We've tried before, and it hasn't gone well. I kind of talked about this a moment ago, and so we give up. But what is really going on here is you haven't learned how to change permanently, and I promise you this process of learning how to create real change, learning how to understand your brain, understand your emotions, understanding how to trust yourself, understanding how to experiment. It's more than just willpowering yourself to do something over and over for 21 days. Isn't that what people say? Oh, you have to do something for 21 days to create real change. But how many of us have actually done something for 21 days and then on day 24 we are like, we're not doing this anymore. So it's not 21 days, and sometimes it takes longer than 21 days to become a woman that is consistent with something. Hell yeah. It usually takes longer than 21 days. But you can learn so much in the process of creating change permanently. And we certainly don't want to look back. We do look I will say we do look back a little bit. One of the things we look back for is limiting beliefs. But once we gather those limiting beliefs, we really move and look forward. We look forward into creating new beliefs, creating new excitement, creating new patterns, creating new visions for the future. Okay, number five, we struggle to create change because the time is never right. I have to tell you, I have coached many women who have told me that they wanted to coach with me for years, but they waited until they were retired, and then even it took them, like a year, six months or a year into their retirement, to finally admit to themselves that they have had time all along. They're just not using their time wisely. They're coming up with excuses why now is not the time. I always love to say the best time is now. I have many clients that are working with me while at the same time going through really hard things in their lives. And you know what? Learning how to put you on the front burner, learning how to put your true desires first when you're in the middle of something really hard, is a great time to do it. Here's why, if you all of a sudden. Have three, six months, whatever, where there's no drama in your life, your kids don't break a leg. All your parents are feeling well, there's no money scarcity. Everything is great. And you learn how to become a really good eater, and you learn how to be consistent with your workouts. All of a sudden, when shit goes sideways, you're not going to know what to do. You're not going to know how to actually get to the gym when you're feeling a little sad about something happening. You're not going to learn how to eat a healthy dinner even when you're stressed out. So the time for many people is never right, but right now is always the right time to do this work, I've been thinking a lot lately about the healthy habits I have implemented, even just in the last few years, have really saved me as I've gone through some harder things in my life in this last year, and it's pretty amazing when You can still support yourself, even when you're stressed or sad or exhausted or whatever is coming up with you, it's just pretty amazing to think, wow, I can actually maintain my weight, still get a workout in, still eat well, even when all of this is going on, still stick to my plan or edit my plan and Do good enough. Even when life goes sideway, it's just a beautiful, beautiful place to be in. And I'll tell you, it feels like love. It feels like love to be able to say, Okay, I'm not going to be able to go to the gym for about a week, but what can I do? What feels in support of me? It's a it's a great place to be. It's a great it's a great skill to have. Number six, struggle of why we have a hard time creating change is you've tried, but there is resistance from people in your life. I'm gonna say that again, you have tried, and maybe you've had some success, but there is resistance from people in your life. I'm going to actually do a whole podcast on this in the future, because I think it there's I just have so much to say. And I was just talking with one of my lovely clients the other day about this. It's so common. It's so common to decide something is really important to you and go all in on it, to feel resistance from people in your life. And that can show up a lot of different ways. It can show up with people making comments, people disappointed, people not wanting to be around you anymore, people changing the way they interact with you because of your changes. And this seems so silly. You would think like, why? If you This has never happened to you, you might be like, I don't even understand. How would someone losing weight and getting to their own next level. Why would other people have a problem with that? Well, this quote might help you with this. So I'm going to read I sent this quote to her, and I'm going to read it to you, because it's really powerful. And you know what? I don't even know who's who wrote this quote. It was one of those ones I found that I don't know, so I can't credit to anyone. I wish it was me. It wasn't, but I wish it was me. Okay, here it is. A hard part of awakening is realizing you won't vibe with many people. You won't be a part of the hive mentally. You're more loyal to your soul instead of society. You are too real to fake. Fitting in. Don't be discouraged. It's better to be patient when it comes to attracting those who will resonate with you at a soul level. Don't trade in your truth for a little validation or attention. Enjoy your sacred solitude and remain authentic, and you will become more magnetic towards those who are genuinely in tune with your unique vibrational frequency. I love that quote so much. I'm going to email this. If you're on my email list, you're going to get this email in a few days, because I just love that quote so much. And I just think that we need to remember that if we want something, even something that we think might be trivial. And I have a lot of clients, especially the clients who they want to lose a little bit less than other people, if they only have 15 or less pounds to lose, sometimes they feel a little bit like, I don't even want to tell people, because I feel like it's irrelevant. I feel like it's inconsequential. I feel like it doesn't matter. I disagree if it keeps coming back for you, it matters to you. And if someone doesn't like that, it matters to you. That's okay. That's okay that they don't like it. You don't have to kick them out of your life. You don't have to talk to them about it. Let them be okay. Let them, let them have a problem with it. It's like Mel Robbins new book, let them, let them have their feelings about it. And you do you boo, people will have thoughts about you. Changing about what you decide is a priority. This is okay. What matters is that you feel good about what you're doing. You are all on board. With what you're doing, you are willing to put in the work and the time and the effort to what you're doing. Okay? The last number seven is why I think we struggle to create changes. You're not in enough pain. This one, I have been talking so much this week with a few of my clients. Here's what I see happening. So often, clients will come to me when they are in a lot of emotional pain, not physical pain. They're in emotional pain. They're like some of my clients. Not everyone says this, but some of my clients will say, I am at my highest weight I've ever been, or I just got a diagnosis, or my doctor wants to put me on a medicine or a it's almost kind of like in terms of their body or health, they, in a way, they've hit rock bottom, you know, or a new bottom that they've ever hit. And they'll come to me and they're in emotional pain, so they're all in and they lose a lot of weight, right? They lose maybe, let's say they want to lose 20 pounds, and they will lose 12 of those 20 pounds. What can happen is they start feeling so much better, which is a beautiful thing. They're enjoying the process, which is a beautiful thing. They're losing weight for the first time in their life without dieting. Oh, it's a beautiful thing. And they're having people say, Wow, you look great. You just either like, they'll they'll get, they're getting compliments from people saying, Wow, you look like you've lost weight. Or they're getting comments from people saying, Wow, you just look really good in general. And I think it's because they're vibing at a different energy, because they're happier. But you know what else is happening? They're no longer in pain, but yet they still want to lose more weight. And so sometimes there is a bit of a struggle to continue to create the change they want to make. Are you resonating with this? I know there are some people going, Oh my God, that's what's happening to me. Okay. This is very common, and so this can be one of the reasons why some people say the last five to 10 pounds can be harder. It can be harder, because you're already feeling so much better. And so one of the things we're going to do in this program, this program for June, is I'm going to teach you how to have a practice of recommitting to what you truly want. That sounded weird, truly want. I kind of googled that. Truly what you truly want. You need to become the woman that recommits all the time. You kind of need to become a sales rep to yourself. You need to sell yourself on why this matters to you. When the pain is gone and pain is a bigger motivator than pleasure, so you need to create a different kind of pain. The new pain is the thought of you never reaching your potential. That's the new pain, the thought that you kind of wanted to hit a number, or you wanted to hit a pair of jeans, or you wanted to achieve a goal and you just didn't make it. And then you're going to get people going. What does it matter? You look great. What does it matter? You know what you need to decide why it fucking matters to you. Because if you don't decide that it fucking matters, you're not gonna get there. And I'm gonna teach you how to dial in and decide that it fucking matters. I believe it does matter if you keep thinking about wanting to make a change in your life, if it keeps coming back for you, this is a true desire, and that means you're worthy of it. I believe that if you want it, you are worthy of achieving it at any moment, at any age, at any time, we can decide to give ourselves the gift of changing our lives. We don't have to wait for everything to be aligned. We don't have to wait for our schedule to be free. This is our one life, and I know that we all deserve to feel good in our bodies, feel good about our choices, feel good about how we spend our time and how we live our lives. You deserve to feel empowered that you can create a change that you want to make. So this podcast is lighting you up. If you feel like, let's go. This coaching experience is enrolling right now. We are going to coach together for the month of June. It will be a month long program, whole month of June, not whole month of June. We're going to start on June 4 over I will teach you how to create real change in your life. I've never created a program at this price point with so much included in one program you will get me for an hour of coaching and teaching every week, I have created the most amazing workbook I've ever created that will guide you through your mindset and obstacles, and it will give you clarity on how to move forward in ways you haven't done before. We are doing a vision boarding workshop. Yes, a vision boarding workshop is going to be so fun, and you also get a private one on one coaching call with me. This is going to be a month to flood yourself with taking what you're learning on. Podcast and implementing it for real change. Let's become BFFs for a month. Shall we? So I just had a woman enroll, and after I sent her the welcome video, because right after you enroll, I will send you a welcome video. And she emailed me back, and she said she wanted to start eating better and lose weight, but she also wanted to get organized. She had said something about like she had turned into like a real procrastinator with getting things done around her house. And I'll tell you what I told her, and I said, the reason you eat more than you want to be eating in order to you know, the reason why you're weighing more than you want to be weighing is the same reason you're not taking care of the things around your house. I told her, we're going to fix both, and that's the beauty of this work, when you learn how to make a plan and stick to it by understanding your mindset and your emotions and your desires and your primitive brain and everything every area of your life gets better. Some women who are enrolling have already worked with me before, and they want to go deeper into this work. Hell yes. They want even more change. They want even more practice, and they get so much joy from up leveling their bodies and other parts of their lives. And I'm also excited for all the new women who are right now enrolling, women who have listened and have wanted to work with me. I can't wait. I can't wait to meet you. So women are enrolling now. Save your spot in this group coaching experience for June. It's called ready for change. There is a link in my bio on Instagram. There is a link in the show notes of this podcast, and you can also go to Courtney Gray coaching.com forward slash, work with me. And I can't wait for this coaching experience. Have a great Tuesday. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently and feel confident and at peace around food, I invite you to head to Courtney Gray coaching.com to learn about how to work with me. I work with women privately, one on one, and I also offer small group coaching. There is a link to my website in the show notes you.