The Transformation Series Part 3- Intentional Joy & Purpose- How to Create a Body & Life you LOVE

In this powerful third installment of the Transformation Series, I’m diving deep into what it really means to live with joy and purpose—and why it all starts with your body and your mind.

A life filled with more joy and purpose is not focused on food, drinks, appetizers and snacks, but yet, that is what most people feel a lack of control.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re searching for your purpose, or craving a deeper sense of joy in your life, this episode is for you. I share why getting radically honest about what you truly desire (yes, for your body and your life) is the first step—and why managing your mind is absolutely essential if you're going to follow through.

I’ll walk you through:

• Why the reason we want anything comes down to emotions
• How to identify the feelings you’re truly chasing (like confidence, pride, or peace)
• How to start living in alignment with those feelings now
• Why managing your mind is the non-negotiable skill for building a life you love
• The difference between true joy and momentary pleasure—and how to stop confusing the two
• Breaking up with the “food = fun” paradigm
• Why you don’t need to know your purpose in full before you take action—and how trying things out is the path to clarity

This episode is full of coaching, clarity, and real talk. If you’re ready to start living more intentionally—with more strength, more purpose, and yes, more joy—this is your next step.

Click HERE for that Free Mastectomy Recovery Course I spoke of.

Interested in speaking with me about how we can work together? Click here to head to my website: https://www.modernbodymodernlife.com/ and schedule a free consultation with me.

Transcript

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Foreign Welcome to Modern body, modern life. The podcast for women who want to lose weight permanently feel in control around food and learn how to stop obsessing about their body and food a modern way of thinking about your weight, your body and your life includes mindset. I'm body and life coach Courtney Gray, and each week I'm going to teach you the mindset tools that are necessary for changing the way you eat forever. We will uncover why you're eating when you said you were going to stop, what to do when you're really craving something, and how important it is to decide what you want to believe is possible for you, I believe we can get in the best shape of our lives at any age, a modern body, a modern life, all starts in your mind, and when you learn how to manage that, losing weight permanently becomes so much easier. Welcome to the podcast. Episode 90 intentional joy and purpose. How to Create a body and life you love on purpose. This is the third podcast in my transformation series. First we had episode 88 I talked all about thinking big. And then I had the second which was a really fun bonus episode last Saturday. If you didn't catch that, it's episode 89 living better, not perfect, the key to lasting change. And then today I'm talking about intentional joy and purpose. And let me just say, I have been working on this episode for a few hours now, and usually I'm very I feel very succinct. By the time I get ready to record for you, I feel very succinct. I feel very like, dialed like, let's go. And I feel all over the place today, not not in a bad way. I'm telling you, not in a bad way. But I'm sitting here. I'm like, Okay, I've been working on this for a few hours. I need to work on I have my the CONTROL SHIFT webinar coming up tomorrow, that I need to get ready for that. And so I'm just looking at this. I'm like, You know what? This really is good enough, but it definitely might be a little all over the place, and that might be a good thing. It might be sometimes I love kind of coming in hot. I'm not really coming in hot for this podcast, but I feel like, okay, this might be the most, this might not be the most succinct podcast I've ever done where it's like, 12345, but I know everything I say, I believe everything I say, you're going to resonate with so it's good. I'm considering this more of a coffee chat. Like, if we're at coffee and you were like, How can I really transform? I'd be like, Well, my friend, let's talk about it. So let me first say that I am very happy right now, because my youngest son is home for college for like, two weeks. So I have all my three boys in the same town. They're not all in my house together, but they're all in the same time. And there really is something special about that, don't you agree? I know a lot of you that have kids that are in college or whatever, that are coming home, it just really feels good to have them home and to be able to be making their special food, and to be able to just have them close. Sure does feel good, doesn't it? It makes you it makes your heart. Makes me think, for sure, breaks my heart a little bit. Here we go, ladies, here we go. Makes my heart break a little bit for people who don't have that, for people who have lost their babies, I'm gonna keep this in. I'm keeping it in. Let's be real here in this podcast, I feel very grateful to have my babies. Okay, so first, let me dry it up and let me start talking about intentional joy and purpose. I want to say that I think the pathway to finding true joy and purpose is dependent on you understanding what you truly desire for your body and life, like understanding what it is, like claiming it, being radically honest about what it is, and not negating it just because it doesn't benefit all the people. One, understanding what it what you truly desire for your body and life, and then two, having the tools to manage your mind if you cannot manage your mind, then it's going to be hard for you to do any kind of up leveling in any area of your life. If you want to be able to, you know, work on your relationships, if you want to make more money, if you want to start a business, if you want to start start a business in midlife, if you whatever you are wanting to do in your life, you have to be able to understand what it is, claim it for yourself, and to have the tools to manage your mind, because on the way to getting what you truly want, you are going to fail. You are going to have obstacles you're in. The biggest obstacle is going to be you and your brain telling you that it doesn't matter, telling you that right now, today, on a random Tuesday, it doesn't matter. So you're going to need to be able to feel powerful, to be able to manage your mind. First, I want to talk about the reason we want anything. The reason we want anything is to feel an emotion. I'm going to say it again. I want you to hear the truth in this. I remember the first time I heard this, I was like, I don't know. I. Yeah, I don't know about that, but the reason we want anything is to feel an emotion. If you want to make more money, you want to feel an emotion. Maybe it's security, maybe it's value. You want to feel valued. Maybe you want to feel sufficient. If you want your partner to look into your eyes and say, Hey, how are you doing? You want to feel significant, you want to feel loved, you want to feel safe. If you want to look a certain way in a bikini or a bathing suit, it's because you want to feel a certain way. Maybe it's proud, maybe it's confident. You know you've heard me talking about wanting to do a pull up. I know when I eventually do that, pull up, I will feel proud, I will feel empowered, alive. I don't know if that's a feeling, but I know we can all understand what that means. And strong. If you want to lose 30 pounds, it's not just because you want to look on the scale and see that number. When you see that number, you want to feel an emotion, and you feel that you will feel a certain way. You think you will feel a certain way. Maybe it's sexy, maybe it's proud, maybe it's confident. So if what we are truly searching for, in the end of all these things, is emotions, what emotion are you searching for? It's very important for you to know in advance, What emotions do you want to feel, and can you intentionally live in a way that enables you to feel them on the regular? For me, when I think of wanting to do a pull up and feeling proud and strong when I am practicing doing a pull up because I can't do it yet, I'm allowing myself to already feel proud and strong in the attempting of it. If you want to make more money, because you know it's going to make me you feel more secure. Can you while you are doing the things that is helping you make more money? Can you feel secure while you are headed towards losing 30 pounds, losing 10 pounds, 30 whatever your weight that you want to lose, because you know, in the end, you will feel sexy, proud and confident. Can you feel confident, Sexy and proud in the daily actions you are taking towards losing that weight? Maybe for you, it isn't joy. This, this podcast, I'm talking about intentional joy. Maybe for you it isn't joy. Maybe for you what you want to feel is peace. Maybe it's pride. You must know what you want to feel, and then ask yourself, what do I need to do every day to feel this way? What do I need to do today to feel this way? And you will find a lot of times that the day to day things are not exciting. It might be waking up when your alarm goes off. It might be taking 10 minutes in the morning to stretch. It seems so simple, but I promise you give it a go, and you will be amazed at how these little things when you decide that that is what you want for yourself, because that is what is going to help you feel a certain way when you do these little things, live intentionally, it will start having massive ripple effects to your days. So what emotions are you searching for, and how can you do things every day that is going to make you feel this way? What is on your to do list, and is it leading you towards feeling this feeling, what I believe so deeply is this, when you feel in control of yourself and your eating and your drinking and your movement and your health, it is so much easier to feel Joy and live your purpose, it is so much easier to find your purpose. So if you're night, if you're not quite sure what your purpose is, right now, a great place to start is starting to feel in control of your body and your daily habits. There's a lot of messages coming at us that are not helping us feel true joy, true peace, True Confidence. And so here are some of the messages I hear on the repeat that are just not helpful. And the problem isn't that we're just hearing these messages. We are like prescribing to these messages. We are believing these messages, especially for women in midlife and beyond. Here's a few of them. It shouldn't matter what you look like or what size you're at. As women, it's normal to gain weight and slow down as we age. It's totally normal. Life is meant to be lived not to worry about our food and our weight and our bodies. Have more fun, relax. Don't take things so seriously. Let me just tell you I know that you know this, if you're if you're a regular listener of the podcast, you know, I take all this shit very seriously. I take it more seriously all the time. It doesn't mean that I don't feel joy and I don't feel happiness. In fact, I feel more joyful and happy and confident and proud the more serious I take all of this. You. But these messages grant us permission in the moment to let us just live from our primitive brain, but they get us nowhere close to joy. Because for me, when I think of joy, it's not eating all the things and drinking all the things in the moment. That's not joy. It might feel like joy in the moment, because it's an escape. But what is true joy is feeling aligned, is feeling like your authentic self, feeling like you are living the way you want to live at all hours of the day. My definition of joy is not pleasure in the moment. We really need to make a distinction, what is joy and what is pleasure? And so what is the definition of joy? The definition of joy, if you Google it, is the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying, keen pleasure, elation. Now I don't the word keen is, I don't even remember the last time I heard the word keen is probably on like a a movie from the 1800s okay, but the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying. Now, a lot of people might think of going to a party, drinking the night, away, dancing, eating all the things, not worrying about anything. To me that is not joy. That might be happiness and pleasure in the moment. But when I think of joy, it does not end after the party. It does not end after the wedding. It does not end after the camping trip or the barbecue. True joy is feeling proud of how I lived at the party, how I lived at the wedding, how I showed up for all of my true, authentic self. Think of how many times you told yourself you were going to do better, in whatever way better looks for you. And then you went to that gathering and you didn't do better. You gave it up because you had one of these thoughts, like, oh, it's normal to gain weight. It doesn't matter. I'm in menopause, all these kind of things, right? And so then in the moment, you chose quote, unquote joy, even though it's not really joy. You chose joy in the moment. But then afterwards, you were like, oh my god, I did it again. And then the next morning, you felt the come down of all of that quote, unquote joy. And then you said to yourself, I'm gonna start Monday morning. Is that joy? No, that's not real joy. Tony Robbins has a quote I really like, the real joy in life comes from finding your true purpose and aligning it with what you do every single day. Are you in control of what you do every single day? Or we should say because we're not. We're not doing perfection here. Are you in control of what you do most of the time, most days, and when we think of intentional purpose, if you are up leveling yourself and you're maybe even searching for a new purpose, what an amazing place to be. So we don't, I don't believe that we just have one purpose in life. I really think that at every new phase of life, we can choose a new purpose. Or maybe you have, like, an overarching purpose, maybe, but then you have smaller, like sub division of purposes, right? Like shit. I think we can choose a new purpose every month, most days, I will kind of say them. I don't say what is my purpose today, but I will say, What do I want to feel today? What am I doing today? And it really is dependent on what's going on in my life. How do I feel? What's going on with my kids, what's going on with my husband, what's going on with my family? Do I have someone in my life that needs me to focus on them, even if I reach out to them, even if I don't, even if my purpose is just to focus and love on them energetically. So what is your purpose today? And maybe you have more than one purpose. I will tell you that I when I think about, oh, one of my kids is going through this or that, and I think, Oh, I'm gonna, I'm going to intentionally, mentally and emotionally love on them today, it doesn't negate the fact that I have other purposes that have nothing to do with my children. It doesn't negate the fact that I have other purposes that align with my clients. Maybe I have a client very, very often I will have one or two clients that I am thinking of them. Last week, I took off from seeing a lot of my clients because I took some time off to go visit my son at school. And as I was in Cal Poly, and I was walking around, I was going for a run, I was doing all the things. I was thinking about specific clients that I know are really working on things in their lives. So in those moments, my purpose was sending them love. But at the same time, I have my own purpose of being in my best health ever and really enjoying being in a new environment with my son and loving all that that new environment has to offer. And can I do that without eating and drinking all the things? Because that's what society would tell me. Society would say, if you're taking some time off and you're it, you know, going out for. For dinner and lunch and breakfast, you need to be eating all the things, because that's what joy includes. That's what really enjoying a vacation includes. But I disagree. So you can choose a new purpose every single day and every few months. Maybe you're at a time in your life where it's time to kind of figure out a new purpose. Maybe you're getting ready to retire. Maybe you're becoming an empty nester, maybe you're changing jobs, maybe you're getting divorced. At any moment, you can decide what your purpose is, and one of the great places to start is really getting control over your body and your mind. Such a great place to start, because then you will feel so empowered. So I have two pieces of coaching to help you if you're looking to kind of reconnect with your purpose, to get find your purpose, or even to convince yourself or prove to yourself that your purpose, what you've chosen, matters. Because I've had many clients tell me that they feel like it doesn't matter that they want to lose 10 more pounds, or it doesn't matter, you know, they've already lost 20 pounds. What does it matter that they hit their goal of 30? I believe it matters. If it's something that keeps coming back to you, I believe it matters, and I know it matters because I have achieved that goal. And I will tell you my clients who push through, and who convince themselves that it does matter, that they reach that goal, they will tell you it matters. It matters because you're taking yourself seriously and your desire seriously. So I have two pieces of coaching to help you, first, while you are searching for a new purpose or reconnecting with your purpose, get in your best health ever. It will help you in so many ways. The most significant way that it will help you is it will help make you feel empowered. And we know if you are feeling empowered, if you're having thoughts like this is amazing. Oh, my God, I did it. This isn't as hard as I thought it would be. This is so powerful. And you're having all those thoughts and you are feeling empowered, we know what that's going to do. It's going to help you act even more aligned with their purpose. It's going to help you make bolder moves in your life. It's going to help you wake up and live your day differently from the feeling of empowerment when you go somewhere telling yourself that you're going to eat well, and you're going to keep working out, and you're going to meditate a little bit, you're going to stretch, even though you're on vacation, and then you go and you get the fuck it's and you just eat all the things, and you don't stretch, and you don't work out. And then you come home from that vacation and you're five pounds up, and you're pissed at yourself again. You are not feeling empowered, you're feeling discouraged, you're feeling shame, and that is not going to lead anywhere good when we're feeling discouraged and we're feeling shame, it is going to probably actually lead us to eat even more, because we're going to think, What the What's the point? I'm already five pounds. I'm already this. What's the point? So I want you to feel empowered, and I want you to blow your own mind with what you're capable of. So that's the first piece of coaching for you that get in your best health ever. You're looking for what your purpose is. You're looking for what your next chapter is going to be, getting your best health ever. It's like I heard a quote on Instagram from the I forget who it was, but this this body builder guy, and he goes, You want to make more money, you want a new job, you want a bigger house, you want to find love, go to the gym. And he said that, and right, he didn't even need to explain to me, because I'm like, Oh, hell yeah, I said this to one of my boys probably last year. He was like, I'm just struggling. I don't know what to do with my life. I don't know what I don't know what career I want. I just feel kind of unmotivated. I I feel like I'm not eating very good. I don't and I'm like, Do you want my my advice? And he goes, Yes, please. And I said, start going to gym first thing tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning. And he's like, what? And I go, start going to the gym first thing tomorrow morning, because you will feel empowered, you will feel in control, you will feel fired up. And that will help you take the action to find what your purpose is. It will help you put your resume out there. It will help you decide to try things out that you haven't tried before. Starting with your body is always a great place to start. Second piece of coaching for you, if you're trying to find your purpose or reconnect with your purpose while you're searching for it, and this is not if you're reconnecting with it, but if you're searching for it, or maybe you're searching for another purpose, or a more aligned purpose with your body. Try things out. That's my coaching. Try things out. Give things a go. Don't just read things and think about things. Take physical action towards finding your purpose. Sign up for a class. Make a list of options. Try something that you're not sure of. So often people say that they're confused, or they're not sure, or they're finding whatever, and they're waiting to feel 100% sure that this is the thing before they even try the thing. So try something new and be like, I don't know. I don't know if this is going to be the thing for me. Ask. To talk to people who are doing it, to figure out if it's something you think you might be interested in, but give it a go. I want to give you an example. I have been wanting to give back more. Now that my kids are out of the house and I have more time, they don't need my time as much. They need my love, but they don't need my time as much. And I've I've been wanting to give back. I've been wanting to volunteer my time, and I knew a long time ago. I thought, when I can eventually volunteer my time, I think that I'm going to do Meals on Wheels. I've talked about this before on the podcast. I saw a story in the newspaper about a man talking about how, how sometimes it's the only person he'll talk to all day is a person who delivers his meal. And I remember reading this article and crying and being like, what is happening, and I just really resonated with it. So I decided someday I'm gonna volunteer for Meals on Wheels. And so one of these days, I was, Oh, I think it was after my I'll tell you, this is actually really cool. My sister is a nurse, and she helps people after they recover from plastic surgery. She has quite the following on social media. Her name's Kelly gray talk. You can find her on all the media social medias. I think she's under Kelly gray talk, R N, G R E, y, t, O, K, R n. And she has this big business where she helps people after recover, after plastic surgery. She also sells a bunch of courses, and she decided that she wanted to make a free course to give away to people who are having mastectomies. Men and women both get breast cancer, and so when they have a mastectomy, they can get her free course, and it will help them recover. Because what she was finding was she has a breast augmentation course that she sells online. She started having men and women who were going through a mastectomy, where they have their breast removed because of cancer, and she was having them buy her breast recovery course. And then a lot of them were emailing her saying, Hey, I didn't have, you know, implants, but what I did have was I had a mastectomy, and your your course really helped me. And so she decided this is not the course for them. I want to make a course that is actually for someone having specifically a mastectomy. The course did help them, but she wanted to just make it for someone who was having a mastectomy. And so she created this course, spent tons of time and money, and actually flew me down so I could be the model for her course. Because whenever she does a course, and she's teaching people how to, you know, recover, how to empty their drains, how to ice themselves appropriately, all the things, she uses me as a model. And so we did this course together. It was her course, but I was her model. We did it together, and she gives it away totally for free. She gives this course away totally for free. In fact, you know what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna ask her for this course, and I'm gonna put it in the show notes. So if you anyone, you know, anyone all over the world is having a mastectomy, send them this course. It is totally free. It's not a marketing ploy to try to get people on her email list. She's not going to try to get them to sign up for anything or whatever it is, literally her love project to the world. So I will put the link in the show notes. If you know anyone who would love it, I she would love she wants 1000s and 1000s of people to to get it. So I would love to offer it to you. The reason I just went into that tangent is she did this free mastectomy course, and it really inspired me. And I thought, gosh, you know, I want to do something now. I don't want to wait until I'm retired in order to give back. So I thought, I want to do Meals on Wheels now. So I did a little googling. And ironically enough, the family in town who is on the board for the Meals on Wheels program is a family that I love, like I'm friends with a few of the people in the family that like, run this Meals on Wheels company. So I met with my girlfriend who was on the board, and she told me, you know, Thursday nights once a month is when we have these meetings. Here's what we think you can do. What do you think you could do? And here's, you know, I think I originally actually thought that I would actually drive for Meals on Wheels, and I would deliver meals. But now I think what would, what would be more powerful for me, is to help them fundraise, to help them sell. Because I feel like I'm really good at selling and fundraising, so I'm going to help them just on the business back end, how to make more money for for the business, to help impact more people that would have more of an impact, as opposed to me just delivering meals. And so I decided that that for the next few months I'm not going to work Thursday nights, and Thursday nights I'm going to leave open so once a month I can meet with this Meals on Wheels organization and help give back. And I'm willing to do this because I think it's going to be part of my purpose. But here's what I want you to hear. I think it's going to be part of my purpose. I think I don't know. I might do this for the next six months. I'm a big believer in committing to something for six months to a year. I'm going to do this for six months or a year and see what I think. Do I feel like I'm valuable there? Do I feel like. Like I'm able to make a difference. Do I feel like I get joy out of it? Do I feel like it's what I want to be doing with my time? I'm willing to give it a go, I'm willing to try things out to discover that this is possibly going to be my purpose. Maybe in 10 years, I'm going to be doing this podcast talking about how I'm like, on the board of this Meals on Wheels organization. Maybe I'm going to, you know, speak at organizations for Meals on Wheels. I don't know. I have no idea what the future holds, but I'm willing to try it out to find out if this is part of my purpose, and that's what I want for you. Don't just think, Huh, sit around and and think I need to get clear. I need to really understand what my purpose is before I before I dive in. No, my friend, let's dive in to get the clarity. There is a quote from an actress. Her name is Monique Coleman, and it's a I love this quote so much. Your purpose is hidden in the places that scare you. It's tucked beneath your insecurities and your doubts. Find your purpose and unlock your infinite potential. Oh, it's so good, isn't it? So I love this because it lets us know, yeah, if you want to find your purpose, you might be scared, you might have doubt, but by diving in, you will unlock your infinite potential. What does you not eating cereal at night have to do with any of this? What does you lifting heavier weights at the gym have to do with any of this? What does you hitting your goal weight have to do with this? What does you starting a new career or going back to school have to do with this. You becoming the next version of yourself, creating a body and life you love that feels more joyful, more aligned, more purposeful, has to be done on purpose, and starting with what you put in your mouth and how you move your body and how you talk to yourself, and the thoughts that you allow to get your attention and focus, is such a great place to start, but no one can do it for you but yourself. That's why it's such a great place to start. No one's going to do this for you but you so often we negate when we think about purpose and joy and living life. We a lot of times, as a society, we think about dancing and drinking and celebrating and and just living life with abandon. I disagree. I think about Yes, dancing, celebrating, but living life with purpose, and living life for what you truly want, and for so many of us, we truly want to feel good in our bodies. And so what will help you live with more intentional joy and purpose you feeling like you're in control of your body, which will make you feel like you're in control of your life. So I want to talk about breaking the food equals fun paradigm, like there is such a huge thought process out there in society, all societies, this is one I think that it goes across all cultures and all classes of people. I think there is this food equals fun thing that has been happening for a long time, but the hard thing is it's getting worse and worse and worse, because our food is becoming more addictive, our food is becoming more unhealthy, and we have more access to it than ever before, and we really are finding even more accessibility to getting together and feeling joy and feeling purpose with gathering and celebration. So food is such a major part of the celebration, in the conversation, in the gathering, it becomes like the anchor. And this used to be me. Food equaling fun was everything for me, whether I was meeting a girlfriend for coffee and a scone, or meeting a girlfriend for a drink and dessert, food has become a major part of every celebration, every gathering, every everything. And we need to break this apart a little bit. We need to anchor into what truly matters in these moments, whether you are at a wedding, a funeral, a dinner, a barbecue, a graduation party, a birthday party, what matters more than anything at that party, at that dinner, what matters is the people you're with. I'm an emotional wreck today. I'm getting emotional again. My God, what matters is the people that you're with. Our primitive brain tells us that if we don't eat the food, we're not truly enjoying that moment. And I disagree, and I want to sell you on this new I thought, this new thought that most people around you are not thinking you can be. At one of these gatherings and eat in a way that serves your goals, and still have the most amazing time ever. Are there going to be moments, especially in the beginning, where this is hard? Yes, it is hard work. That's why I have a whole program devoted to teaching you how to do it. If it were easy, we'd all do it. But after you get good at doing this, it gets so much easier. And then I'll tell you what is amazing is going to any of these events, feeling good in your body, feeling good in your stomach, feeling good in your head, feeling good in your clothes, feeling proud of yourself and being able to focus on what matters. It's the people. Now it's okay to be standing there in the middle of one of these moments with all these people around you, and to realize that you're one of the only people that think this way. If you are at one of these moments, and I'm there, look over at me and just know that I believe it too. Most people disagree. Most people would tell you it doesn't matter, live life to the fullest meaning, eat and drink all the things. But can it be okay that you've changed your mind? Can it be okay that you think differently than everyone else? Can it be okay that if you don't eat all the things your Aunt Margaret might have words to you about it? Is it okay that someone might say, oh my gosh, why aren't you drink? What's going on with you, what's going and people question you on it? Because that oftentimes does happen. Let them like Mel Robbins new book, I haven't even read it, but I know what it's about. Let them, let them say what they're gonna say. It's okay that you've decided to think differently. Here's what I will tell you the next time you go to one of these events. Here's my advice, my coaching for you before you go. Decide what the plan is gonna be, my friend, create a little protocol for yourself. Decide what you're going to eat and what you're not going to eat, more importantly, what you're not going to eat. And let me tell you what's going to happen if you leave that event and come home and say to yourself, oh my god, I did it. First of all, side note, you're going to come home and your primitive brain is going to say, now that we're home because you didn't eat at the event, you deserve a treat. Stay with it. Stay with it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. But you can go home from that event and go to bed that night, and I will tell you you are not going to wish you had this spinach dip. You are not gonna wish you had the extra piece of Tri Tip. You're not going to wish you had the extra Margarita, you are going to be so proud that you lived from your authentic self, that you were intentional about what joy meant for you in that moment now, in the same same hand, if you don't follow through, you're going to go home and you're going to be kicking yourself. You're going to be like, Oh, why do I always do this? This is so hard. And then you're going to try to make yourself feel better by saying, You know what, life is meant to be lived. And I just want you to get curious in that moment. I don't want you to be too mean to yourself. I want you to go. This is what Courtney is talking about. This is hard. That's why people join my program. I invite you to join my program. Open Enrollment is right now. We start in August. There's a link in the show notes, and on my website, I invite you to join me. But I'm not done. I'm not done talking to you. It's okay that you've changed your mind, that you want to start thinking differently. It's okay that other people disagree. So last year, on my birthday, I was on a strict diet. I was working with a naturopathic doctor, we are trying to figure some things out with my hormones and my acid reflux and all these things. So I was literally on a diet where I wasn't eating eggs, I wasn't eating gluten and I wasn't eating dairy. It was no joke, it was no joke. It was not fun. It was not fun, but that's what I was doing. And for my birthday, my husband's like, do you want to go out? And I'm like, it's really hard being on this strict diet, like, diet, it wasn't a diet. I wasn't trying to lose weight. I was trying to fix my body a little bit, like, it's really too hard to eat out with this strict diet, so I'm just going to make a meal for everyone. And my husband's like, no no, no, no, no, this is going to be wonderful. I love cooking for my family, and so I made a huge meal, most of it I could not eat. I made a huge meal for them and a small little side meal for myself, and it didn't matter we were celebrating my birthday, and it didn't matter that I couldn't eat the food. What mattered was I had my whole family there around me, around my table. Someday, at the end of my life, I'm not going to look back and say that birthday sucks. Birthday sucked because I couldn't eat the food. I'm going to think about all the people that were there, and it was so wonderful. And I remember it wasn't even till halfway through the meal, one of my boys goes, Mom, why aren't you eating the food? And I'm like, oh, remember, I can't eat all that stuff. They're like, Oh, my God, I can't believe you made this meal. I'm like, yeah, it's I was thrilled to do it. I was thrilled to do it. I. True joy is the people, the experiences, the places and the emotions. So if you want to live intentionally with more joy and more purpose, I promise you, it's so much easier to feel true joy with all of the people you love when you're not talking shit to yourself in your own head because you don't like how you look. What true joy is? Intentional joy is at the end of the night thinking about all the wonderful conversations you had with the people that you love, maybe people you haven't seen in so long. What is the anti of joy is thinking about, Oh, once again, I had to eat two brownies. I always do this. That's the anti joy. True. Joy is the people, the experiences, the places and the emotions. So I think my biggest two takeaways for you from this podcast is, in order to be very intentional, to live with joy and purpose. You need to be able to manage your mind. You need to be able to know really what you want and how you're going to feel when you get it, knowing that you're going to have to manage your mind along the way, if you decide to try things out, give things a go, you're going to have to manage your mind, because fear and doubt and all these things are going to come up. And can that be okay? People are going to have words. People. People are going to have thoughts. If you're going to break up the food fun paradigm, people are going to have thoughts about it. Can that be okay? If you want to feel a deeper sense of purpose, a new sense of purpose, you're going to have to be willing to try things out, and a great place to start is with you and your eating and your thinking and your movement and getting in your healthiest body ever. I'm telling you, I see it with my clients all the time. I see it with my clients, well, they'll lose 20 pounds, and then all of a sudden they're like, I've been wanting to write a book my whole life. I've started writing started writing a book. Yesterday, I sat down, I started writing a book. I'm like, stop it right now, or they'll say, You know what? I've never left the United States. I actually just booked a trip with my son. When one of my clients that I booked a trip with my son to Europe, I'm like, oh my god, what is happening? I've always wanted to and I'm like, Why do you think they're I don't know. I'm like, do you feel empowered? Yeah, I feel empowered. Do you think it has anything to do with the way you're eating and living in your body? And yeah, I think it does. I have women tell me that they've wanted to sign up to go to the gym forever, and they're finally doing it. I have women who've been wanting to get stronger, and they finally go and lift the heavier weights for the first time ever, even though they're a little embarrassed that people are gonna judge them. I have people tell me that they're finally putting themselves out there because they want to meet a partner. I have people tell me that they're going to their boss and they're asking for the raise that they've believed that they have deserved for like, five years. I have people telling me that they're having conversations with their partners and their children that they've always kind of wanted to have, but they felt too insecure to have. So if you're looking for purpose, if you're looking to reconnect with your purpose, if you're looking to feel more joy, you dialing into you and transforming back to the whole idea of this transformation series is you being able to transform this area of your life. When you transform your body, you will transform your life, even if you're like, I've got a great life, I believe you do. But could your life be even better? I know I have an amazing life. It could be could it be better? Hell yeah, it could be better. I thought my life was amazing five years and my life is so much better right now. So thank you for joining me for this transformation series. I would love for you to work with me in my modern body Modern Life program. It is my foundational program that I help women do this work. If you have loved the podcast, especially this series, this is the work we do in my program, because you can't just hear a podcast and go about your day. You need to implement and put these things into practice. And when you do, it can be hard. Sometimes you're going to fail. And as a society, we're kind of taught not to fail. So I suggest you fail with me, and let me coach you through the process. Let me hand hold you through the process. Let's do this work together to get you to lose the weight you want to lose, gain the strength you want to gain, get in your best health ever at whatever age you're at, get rid of the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck that you probably don't even know are there, and live a more transformed, empowered life. There is a link in the show notes, there is link on my website, there is a link on Instagram. And I'm also, again, going to link up my sister's mastectomy course, which is totally free, such a gift to the world that is. And I hope you have a great Tuesday. If you are ready to lose weight and keep it off permanently and feel confident and at peace around for. Food, I invite you to head to Courtney Gray coaching.com to learn about how to work with me. I work with women privately, one on one, and I also offer small group coaching. There is a link to my website in the show notes you.