Modern Body Modern Life
This podcast is for women who want to lose weight for the very last time.
If you know what you should eat, but you can't get yourself to eat it, this podcast will help. If have dieted, lost weight, only to gain it back, this podcast will help.
This is the podcast for women who want to lose weight permanently by learning the mindset & strategy necessary to eat what they know they should eat, and feel in control around food. What you put in your mouth all starts with your mind, and once you learn how to manage it, living in a body you love the look and feel of is so much easier.
Modern Body Modern Life is about so much more than weight loss. It's about learning to calm the war that goes on in your head when you are constantly thinking about your body and food.
I will be talking about the importance of up leveling your self concept, listening to your body, feeling your emotions instead of turning to food. I will teach you how hunger is not an emergency, and although food is meant to be enjoyed sometimes, it doesn't always have to be a party in your mouth.
Most importantly, the theme of this podcast supports the belief that you can lose weight permanently and be in your best shape at any age.
~Courtney
Modern Body Modern Life
Obsession With The Scale....How to Use it as a Measure of Your Efforts, Not Your Self-Worth
If stepping on the scale feels stressful or defeating, you are not alone. I coach on this with my clients every week so it is time I created a podcast to help you to start using your scale as a tool and not a weapon.
This episode will help you find peace. I share how to see the number as neutral feedback — a tool for awareness, not a measure of self-worth.
For coaching and resources, visit modernbodymodernlife.com.
Learn how to:
- Use the scale without letting it control your emotions
- Spot real progress beyond the number
- Be radically honest without being harsh
- Turn frustration into curiosity and compassion
“Use your scale as a tool, not a weapon. The number doesn’t define your worth.”
Interested in speaking with me about how we can work together? Click here to head to my website: https://www.modernbodymodernlife.com/ and schedule a free consultation with me.
Steve, welcome to modern body, modern life, the podcast for women who want to feel powerful, healthy, strong and confident, inside and out at every age. On this podcast, we talk about becoming a woman who is fully in control of her eating and movement, so weight loss, strength and energy become permanent. We also talk about something bigger, becoming the woman who takes her deepest desire seriously and goes after more in every area of her life. I'm body and life coach Courtney Gray, and I believe you can get in the best shape of your life at any age, and when you do, it becomes a catalyst for everything else, your relationships, your confidence, your joy, because when you feel like you and your body, all of life gets better. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast. Episode 102, obsession with the scale, how to use it as a measure of your efforts and not your self worth. This is podcast has been a long time in the making. I've been thinking I've been thinking about doing it for a long time, and I'm really excited to deliver it today, because so many of my clients, so many people, I'm sure, so many listeners of this podcast, have that moment where you're getting ready to step on the scale, and it's almost like like a preemptive stress before you're even stepping on because we put so much value in what that three digit number is going to say, and oftentimes we make that number mean things about us. How awesome would it be if you could get to a point where you step on the scale and you make the number mean things about more what you're doing? Have I been eating the way I want to eat. Have I been drinking enough water? Have I been getting good rest? Have I been taking care of myself? This number is just one more thing to gage all of that. That sounds so lovely, but that is not the experience that most people have. Most people step on the scale, and if the scale has gone down, it's like joy, like even one pound, ultimate joy. If it's at all gone up, or even if it's stayed the same, it's like devastation, and it's, you know, it really does go to our sense of worthiness. So I really am hoping that this podcast will help you just make a little bit of peace and how to use it, because it is a great tool how to use it, to really look at your efforts and help it guide you to get to your body goals and just feel better about the whole thing. So let me tell you what has happened with so many clients I have helped over the years, and these are women who not only want to lose weight, but they want to feel in control. They don't want to go on another diet. They want to eat better. They listen to my podcast. They come to my webinars and workshops. They hire me because they want to learn my processes on how to feel in control of their body, of their eating, of their life. I'm going to tell this in story format, because this is not one client story. This is client after client after a client, happening so often. Now it's become a part of my program that I coach women on. So a client will be working with me, and they will be making progress. They will be losing weight. They will be feeling like my process is different. It'll be starting to blow their mind a little bit with the fact that they're not on a diet, but yet, they're losing weight, and they're feeling more in control, and they're understanding themselves at a deeper level. And when they're messing up, they know that I'm not mad about it, and so they start giving themselves a little more grace, and start getting curious all the things I talk about on this podcast. But of course, even more then, at some point, they usually hit a plateau, and they come and they're a little frustrated, because they feel like they're doing all the things, and that's okay, but oftentimes what I have found is more than a week of a plateau, and my clients step on the scale and they really have a negative reaction. They get devastated or frustrated or pissed or angry, some flavor of negative emotion. Now, remember the thought model I've taught you. I've taught you a thought model that teaches you how important, how heavy your thoughts are, that you think, how they affect our lives. Our thoughts affect how we feel, and then how we feel affects what we do during our days. In the what we do during our days affects the results we're creating, not only that day, but the compounding effects over weeks, months, years. So if we think about this client, where they step on the scale and they're feeling devastated, frustrated, pissed, very rarely does a client, then go, You know what? I'm going to shake it off. It's going to be fine. Usually, what happens is they're devastated, frustrated and pissed, and that affects their day. They don't eat as well. They kind of get the buckets. They feel like, if I'm not going to be getting the results, I might as well be able to eat all the things I want to eat. And they kind of spiral out a little bit. Sometimes they will spiral out for a day. Sometimes they'll spiral out until they see me again. So. Come on the call with me, and then they're beside themselves because they're working so hard, even even amongst the spiral, they're working so hard, but the scale is not moving, or maybe they're working so hard, but like throughout the week, they haven't been perfect, so then they're blaming themselves, like the scale is not moving because I did a really good job most the week, but then over the weekend, I didn't eat very well, and and then they start thinking different things, like, maybe I really have to go on a diet, maybe I have to be totally restrictive in order to get the results I want. So of course, I guide them through the process of processing their emotions, because oftentimes my clients will get emotional on the call. They're very upset. Even if they haven't stepped on the scale in a few days. They're very upset that they've paid money with me to work with me, and that they've given it so much effort, and they're not seeing the results they want. I get it so I listen and I help them process through their emotions, and then I ask them this question, is anything else going right in this area of your life? Are you seeing any progress at all? And this is so often, so often, like 99.9% of the time, a reflection of what they will say to me. They'll say, Well, actually, my rings, I've noticed my rings are getting looser. They'll say, you know, actually, I'm wearing a dress right now that I haven't worn in five years or 10 years or 30 years, or I'm wearing I had to buy a new dress, some form of that. They'll say, you know, people are starting to notice that not only am I looking like I've lost weight, but they'll say, Gosh, you just look really good in general. And that's like the energetics of feeling in control, right? So not only are you losing weight, but they energetically feel just better overall. Or they'll say I had to buy new bras. I had to buy new underwear. I'm moving my bra back to the tightest ring. Or they'll say I had to buy new scrubs or a new uniform, if they wear a uniform at work. Or they'll say, I'm sleeping better. I have more energy. My cravings are not as strong. And they'll keep going. And they'll say, although, like, I'm upset right now, like, overall I've been talking to myself better, I'm finding that I'm I'm not being as mean to myself, overall amazing. And they'll say, you know, I'm handling my urges better, and I'm working the process that you're teaching me. I'm getting better at all the processes you're teaching me, and they're getting better at making a plan and actually sticking to it. And I tell them, isn't it amazing that all of these good things are happening, but because there's a three digit number that is not what you want it to be, it's not even one lower than it was last time you stepped on the scale. You are feeling devastated, not successful, hopeless. They're so focused on the three numbers from the man made scale, telling them that they either did a good job or a bad job, that they're either good or bad, and they're missing the bigger picture. They're missing the plot. They're missing the whole point. And oftentimes, when I enlighten them to that, they'll say, Wow, yes, you're totally right. And they kind of laugh. But this is what I see happening over and over and over again. We're putting so much weight on three numbers. And so what do we do with this? It doesn't mean we don't weigh ourselves. I've had some clients say that too. I'm just going to stop weighing myself. And that's not what I want for them. What I want them, for them, and what I want for you is to make peace with all of it. And I'm going to teach you some some strategies to mindset strategies, of course, to go through to get some peace around the scale. And the problem again, is when you step on the scale and you tell yourself a story, remember, like, I think it was last week or the week before, I talked a lot about the stories we tell ourselves. When you tell yourself a story that makes you feel discouraged, like, Oh my God, why am I even doing this? I'm never going to lose the weight. Right? What a horrible story to tell ourselves, which we've all told ourselves, that story, and it makes you feel discouraged. You are discounting everything that's going right. You're discounting you're negating your efforts, but you're being blind to see all of the things that are going right. And I talk all the time about being radically honest with ourselves, but stepping on the scale and getting saying giving yourself a story that is making you feel discouraged is not radical honesty. I'm going to I'm going to tell you what radical honesty in a moment really looks like when you step on that scale, because now the scale is a great tool for helping us get radically honest with ourselves. If you are doing the work, you feel like you're doing a good job at trying to eat better, move more, just be a healthy version of you. If you're doing this work and the scale is not moving, you must get curious. So the answer isn't stop weighing yourself. Because sometimes what that can be is that can be. Be just ignoring and not being radically honest. The answer is getting curious. And my best advice at this point is, if it has been a while and you feel like this is so weird and you are really like struggling to understand what's going on, if you really think you're doing a good job and the scale is not moving, my best advice for you is to track your food, because it is possible that you're eating more than your body needs, or you're eating food that is more than your body needs. So maybe you're eating too much fat, maybe you're not getting enough protein, maybe your carbs are too high, but tracking your food is really going to help that. So again, the scale is a tool, and also tracking your food is a tool, not tracking your food from Oh, my God, I tracked my food, and now I'm discouraged again, because I thought I was doing good and I'm not doing good. No, I thought I was doing good, but, oh, okay, turns out I need to do better. Turns out the scale and the tracking app, they're the same thing. They're just a tool to make us realize, ah, maybe there was a little bit of ignorance. Maybe we need to do a little bit better. And can you do better? You totally can we always have it in us to do better in any area. So sometimes I have clients like I said that just want to stop tracking all together, because it's so painful, and what you're doing by doing that is you're missing out on really making peace with the scale, and you're missing out on understanding what's really going on with your body. So next time you're getting ready to weigh yourself, take a moment before you step on the scale. And this is going to be a little woo, woo. Some of you are going to be like, Oh my God, this sounds so weird, but let's remember, usually when you step on the scale, you're alone. So I want you to put your hand on your chest, like over your heart, not like you're saying like the Pledge of Allegiance, but like, widespread, open, like over the center of your chest. And I want you to just take a moment. I want you to ask yourself a question, Have I been eating better, moving more, sleeping well, overall, am I? Have I been doing what it takes for this number to go down? The reason why this is a great question to ask yourself is sometimes women step on the scale, and if they really took a moment, they know it's going to be up. Maybe they just got back from a vacation, they haven't really been doing the work, and they know it's probably going to be higher, but they step on the scale and then they're still pissed off. So it doesn't make any sense. So I want you to just take a moment to be with yourself and say, Have I been eating better? Have I been sleeping well, have been I've been moving more? Have I been doing what it takes for this number to go down? If the answer is an honest Yes, then before you step on the scale, I want you to say, okay, Courtney, I'm gonna, let's pretend I'm doing this. Okay? Courtney, yes, I feel like I've been doing a really good job. Okay, the second question, what am I going to make this number mean? Because, in talk to yourself in the past, if the number is not where I want it to be, I make it mean like, this isn't worth it. Or, why do I even try? Or, Oh, my God, this is never going to happen for me, or, Oh, it's menopause is fault. Oh, I must be insulin resistant, all these things. And really, I think a lot of times at the core thought, the core thought is, shame on me. Shame on me for being at this weight. I should be doing better. So this time, I want you to say, What am I intentionally going to make this number mean? If the number's up, I'm going to say, Okay, we need to look at what's really going on. What do I think it might be? Do I need to track my food. Was I being radically honest? Do I need to just keep going? Maybe I haven't given myself enough time. Maybe three days of drinking less is not enough time. Maybe four or five days of eating a little bit less in the evenings is not enough time. If it's been longer than a week and your weight still hasn't dropped, maybe you need to track to see if you're eating more than your body needs. Are you on your menstrual cycle? Are you eating more salt? Have you been drinking a lot of water? Are you lifting heavier weights? Have you been eating more protein? There's so many things that can affect our weight on a day to day basis. I guide my clients to weigh themselves once a week. Some of them decide that they want to do it every single day, because that's accountability for them, and that's no problem. But I really believe when you do it every week, you get a more accounting of what's really going on. I have had some clients that will come to me and work with me, and they weigh themselves multiple times a day. And if that's you, I want to just encourage you right now to not at the very most. You should be weighing yourself once a day at the same time, when you start weighing yourself more than once a day, you have to ask yourself what you're really searching for, because we know as you drink more. Water, eat more food, we know that that weight is probably going to go up. So what is happening at that point? At that point, it just seems like a not loving thing to do. So if this is you, and you're listening to the podcast, I would really advise you to take a moment, and I would get out your journal, and I would say, Why am I weighing myself more than once a day? What am I searching for, what am I hoping for, and what is the problem of my body right now that I'm wanting to go I would really dive into what's going on, because more than once a day is just really not an it doesn't help at in any way. So if your answer to the question, Have I been eating better, moving more, sleeping well, doing all it takes for this number to go down is no then my second question is, okay, then what are we looking for here? If we know we haven't been doing the work, we know that the weight might definitely be the same or might go up. So what are you looking for? And I would ask yourself that question, what are you looking for? And then ask yourself, Okay, what am I going to make this number mean? What am I going to make this number mean? Am I going to make it mean? Obviously this is important to me, or I wouldn't be weighing myself. It's time to get on track. Have I been loosening the reins a little too much? Are there are some emotions that I might need to become aware of. Maybe I've been overeating. Do I want this number to possibly give myself a kick in the butt? And here's an interesting question, too, if you've not been living the way you know you want to live, even if the number doesn't disappoint you, the fact that you're weighing yourself, does that tell us that you want to go to your own next level? Does it tell us that the number is irrelevant at that point you know you can do better. So what are you going to make that number mean? It has nothing to do with you as a human or your worthiness, and although we weigh ourselves to kind of gage our efforts, what's working, what's not working, sometimes that number is not a good gage of what's working, what's not working, because sometimes your body can be working like things are working. Your rings are looser, you're feeling better, you're sleeping better, you're actually losing inches, but it's not showing up on the scale yet. So you have to make sure that you are looking at the big picture. You're looking at you wanting to be healthier, you wanting to feel in control, yes, also you wanting to lose weight, but giving yourself time to do this right. And my last little piece of coaching for you here is if you find yourself talking to yourself in a very unloving way when you step on the scale, I want you to start talking to yourself the way you would your child or a kid that you love. I always go back to this one, because it's just such a great practice. It's such a great mental practice. We would not say the things that we say to ourselves, to our children, we would not say, Huh, well, I guess you're not doing as good as you thought you were. You wouldn't say, you might as well just eat all the things, because clearly it's not working. You would grab their hands and say, Hey, have you been, have you been showing up for yourself like you know you're capable of? If yes, then keep going. What can we do to help you figure this out. If they say, No, I haven't Well, hey, what can we do to help you start showing up the way you want to? I encourage you to do this before you step on the scale. I encourage you to put your hand on your chest and ask yourself these questions and really decide what you want to make the number mean the number is neutral in the thought model, you get to decide what it means. And the interesting thing is, if you decide that it means something like, I'm going to keep going. I'm feeling it in other areas, even though this number is not not reflective, you're going to feel better. You're going to keep going. If you say something like, oh, this number means that I'm a fuck up. This number means I'm clearly worthless. I'm clearly not good at this. Clearly I'm just meant to be in this body. You're going to probably fall off track that day, and you're going to eat to make yourself feel better because you feel shame. That's what we do when we feel shame or discouragement or anger. We usually eat to make ourselves feel better. So it's a beautiful combination. It's a combination of, I want you to decide what you want to make that number mean, but I also want you to be radically honest with yourself and say, am I capable of more? Can I do better? Do I need to track my food? Do I need to start making a plan of what I'm going to eat ahead of time? Do I need to hire a coach? Do I need to join a program do? What do I need to do to support myself to go to my own next level? So my hope for you is that this podcast will help you really. Use your scale as a tool as opposed to a weapon, because when you use it as a weapon against yourself, you usually go off the rails, and that doesn't help. I hope you have a beautiful Tuesday for information on how we can work together. Head to modern body, modern life.com. To schedule a consultation with me. I'm currently coaching women privately, and I offer group coaching programs. I.