Thanksgiving Without Stuffing Yourself

In this episode, I share the mindset shifts and simple strategies I use — and teach my clients — to enjoy Thanksgiving or any holiday without overeating, overdrinking, or abandoning the habits that make you feel your best. I walk you through how I changed my own old patterns and how you can feel calm, confident, and in control around food during celebrations.

✨ Key Takeaways

• Why I used to overeat on holidays and the thoughts that kept me stuck.
• The mindset work that changed everything, including the belief that the day isn’t about the food.
• The thoughts I practice now, like “I can want something and not eat it” and “I want to feel good tonight.”
• The simple plan I follow on Thanksgiving so I enjoy myself without stuffing myself.
• How I manage my primitive brain, which always wants instant gratification.
• Why choosing intentional discomfort leads to feeling proud instead of regretful.

Interested in speaking with me about how we can work together? Click here to head to my website: https://www.modernbodymodernlife.com/ and schedule a free consultation with me.

Transcript

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Bob, welcome to modern body, modern life, the podcast for women who want to feel powerful, healthy, strong and confident, inside and out at every age. On this podcast, we talk about becoming a woman who is fully in control of her eating and movement, so weight loss, strength and energy become permanent. We also talk about something bigger, becoming the woman who takes her deepest desire seriously and goes after more in every area of her life. I'm body and life coach Courtney Gray, and I believe you can get in the best shape of your life at any age, and when you do, it becomes a catalyst for everything else, your relationships, your confidence, your joy, because when you feel like you and your body, all of life gets better. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast episode 107 Thanksgiving. Without stuffing yourself. This podcast is going to be coming out on Thanksgiving week. If you are in the US Happy Thanksgiving, if you're one of my listeners that either doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving or you are not in the US, don't go anywhere. This episode is going to be great for you as well. In fact, if you listen to this episode in months down the road, if it's March 2026, this episode is still going to help you. And here's how you can consider this episode helpful for really, any holiday, first of all, any big event, any time when you feel like you are not eating and drinking in a way that serves your body, if you get a little bit nervous before you go to a wedding or go to a party or your anniversary, because historically, you stuffed yourself, or you drank too much, or you just lived in a way that is not who you want to be, then this podcast is going to be very powerful for you. So welcome. I have been spending a lot of time thinking about you and my business, my current clients, and also my future clients that I know are coming. I am preparing to launch another group coaching program in January, which I'm very excited about. I am renaming this group, though the name of this group has been since I started this group, modern body, Modern Life program, but since my podcast is called Modern body, modern life, it's my website, it's my Instagram, it just seems a little repetitive, and I want it to be a little more distinctive. So I'm having a lot of fun, and I'm using, using a little chat GPT to help me come up with a name that's similar, but it's just a little more standing out, so it's not so confusing. You know? Oh, this is Courtney from the modern body modern life podcast. And if you're interested, go to my modern body Modern Life website, and there's the modern body modern life. It just, you can sell it. You can tell it's just too much. So I'm having a fun time working on the name for this foundational group that I've been running for a while now. It's so interesting. If you've been listening for a while, you heard that a few weeks ago, I put my other business to rest, the business that I've been doing over 15 years. It made me so much money and so many friends, and so it was such an amazing part of my life. And I closed that officially put that business to bed. I closed that business. And I've had so many people say, Gosh, because it was a I was, I'm a jewelry artist, and so because it was such a creative business, I've had so many people say like, aren't you going to miss the creativity? And I tell them, I go, No, because my business now, this coaching business, is so creative, spending time today, creating this podcast for you is so creative, coming up with a new title for the name of this group that I love so much, this program that I love so much is so fun. So I'm really still getting a lot of the creativity that I that I got from that past business with the holidays. Approaching the holidays are kind of already here. I have been spending a lot of time with my coaching clients, teaching them how to do better this holiday season, creating customized plans according to you know, their tendencies and their worries and also their goals, and really helping them feel good about the way they're going to eat and drink and move and live, even though the holidays are here. And for many people, and I used to do this as well, you start thinking about how you used to act when the holidays came, how you used to eat, how you used to drink, how you used to either give up on your workouts or not, you know, make excuses and all those things. And so there's, there's a legitimate reason for concern. I get it. So there are a lot of strategies that can help you not stuff yourself. If you came to this podcast like, yes, just tell me what to do. I've got you. But as always, this is not just strategy. Meaning, do this. Don't do that. The mindset is going to drive all these strategies. But some of these little strategies that you might be thinking of is, yes, create a plan of what you're going to eat and not eat ahead of time. Everyone. Please do that. I've already done that. I can already tell you exactly what I'm going to eat and not eat on Thanksgiving. And I'm not writing it down. I don't need to write it down anymore. I just put it in my head having only one plate of food, maybe that's going to be you know, portion control is a big thing. Eating for a lot of people, portion control with your alcohol, maybe your type of alcohol. Maybe when are you going to start eating? What are you going to cut yourself off eating? Or maybe one dessert, or maybe one appetizer. Maybe none of either of those. So these are all strategies that you might hear one of those and hate it or love it. I remember I said the other night to one of the women in my group, I said, I won't be eating appetizers on Thanksgiving. And the look on her cute face, she's like, her, her look went, Oh, and I'm like, I said, I've got you. I totally get it. And I said, but I look at the day and I really I come up with strategies that are really going to serve me, and I really like my reasons. But if eating were this simple, most of us would not even be having to talk about this, if this were so easy, if these strategies, oh, I just have to create a plan, oh, just having one plate. Oh, I just have to decide ahead of time. If it were that easy, I wouldn't have a whole program, a whole coaching program around learning how to do this. And so what does that tell us? It's not about the strategy, it's about the mindset first and then the strategy. Your strategy is not as important as your mindset, your thoughts, your thoughts about what's possible, what's important to you and what really matters. On Thanksgiving Day, at that wedding, on that vacation, at that girl's night out, you get to decide what matters more than anything, and as a society, we have decided that drinking and food matters more. You can tell by the way we act, but I have decided for me that that's not the truth, and you can decide for you that that's not the truth. And let me tell you, sometimes I'm standing there and I'm very aware that I might be the only one that thinks that I can go out at a dinner with a bunch of old friends, and I can be sitting there thinking this night is about these people, and it's about celebrating our friendship, and it's also about getting to bed early because I want to feel rested tomorrow morning, all these things, and everyone else might be thinking it's about the food and the drink. Doesn't mean they don't love the people. It just means consciously, they're thinking about, what am I going to eat? What am I going to drink? Should I? Shouldn't I? All that they're getting wrapped up in all of that, although we're focusing on a day here in this podcast, we're talking about Thanksgiving Day, or whatever holiday or celebration is coming up for you, it's important to remember that what we really want to do is we want to create a system within ourselves where we do it differently all the time, like I'm not worried at all now about Thanksgiving or New Year's Eve. I don't worry about so that's the change so many my clients want. They just want to not worry, not think about it, not have to analyze it so much. And let me tell you, creating change is a process. It's not an overnight transformation. You might have heard people say in the past, you just have to commit. You just have to make an empowered decision. You just have to burn the boats any of those things. But I think when it comes to eating and drinking and the habits of what we are consuming, change takes time. It takes the practice reps of doing it over and over and over, and it really takes a lot of failure and evaluating license, like most good things in our life, like most powerful things in our life. So when I look back at my transformation with my eating, which was a process which did take time, the last kind of hurdle for me that I had to jump was the holidays. I got to the point where I was at the weight I wanted to be, and every day felt so much easier, but I would still sometimes add a party or at a wedding or at a holiday, I would eat too much, and I would I would be like out of alignment in that moment. So it kind of was the last hurdle I had to get to to now I'm going into Thanksgiving, and none of it's a problem for me, so let me explain what my typical Thanksgiving looked like years ago, and this is even after I got my weight to where I wanted to be, and I felt overall good most days. But on Thanksgiving or Christmas, I wouldn't create a plan, and I would go to my parents house for Thanksgiving, and I would start eating Brie cheese and crackers. And as I'm eating, I'm like, I don't want to have too much. I don't want to stuff myself. And I was very casual about the whole thing. I might have a cocktail, because everyone else was having a cocktail. And then, of course, my sister's deviled eggs are amazing. So those would be put out, and I would have a few of those, and I would just, you know, then I would help my mom with the turkey and the stuffing. And the stuffing is my favorite. So I'd have a little pick here, a little pick there, and a pick, pick, pick. And all of a sudden, by the time it was time to actually eat, not only was I not hungry, I was already stuffed, but at that point I was like, Well, what do I do? And so I would load my plate up, and I would say, you know, it's just one day. This is, this is no big deal. And I would load my plate up with kind of everything. And then I would start eating, and I would eat most of it, because I have a pretty big capacity to eat. I got a lot of room in there. My husband used to laugh when we started dating, we'd go out, and I would eat as much as him. So I have a large capacity to eat a lot of food, and I would eat all of it, and then I would feel extremely stuffed. And. Then I would wait about an hour, and then I would think, well, I'm already stuffed I might as well. I've already kind of, I got the buckets. I would think, Oh my gosh, I've already stuffed myself. I've already blown the day, quote, unquote. And so then I would overdo it on the dessert. I would have some of all of the dessert, and I would go to bed that night thinking, What did I do to myself? It was literally so uncomfortable that I would have to take a sleep aid in order to sleep, because I was so uncomfortable. The thought of that now makes me want to cry like that is such a horrible thing to do to my body, because I think I'm at a place now where I love my body so much I'm grateful for it. I take care of it. The thought of doing that, you might be thinking, Now, what's the big deal? It is. It's gotten to a point now for me, that is a huge big deal. It's a non negotiable. For me, I've gone through this transformation, and it's a non negotiable for me to do that to myself. But So now the question is, why? Why did I do that? Especially since I had really gotten pretty in control of my eating most days, of what happened, my thoughts were creating that mess, if you'll remember the thought coaching model that I've taught you in past episodes I've taught you how important what we think about, what we believe is possible for us, but even the little thoughts that come in and out of our head are so important because it makes us feel a certain way, and that's where all of our behavior comes from, all of our action, and that's what creates the results. So if we think about what was happening that day in terms of the model I had a bunch of thoughts I'm going to go into right now, but the main thought is, like, it doesn't matter. It was kind of the main thought I had, it's Thanksgiving. It doesn't matter what I eat, what I drink. It doesn't matter that thought made me feel, probably ambivalent. Is the feeling like it wasn't a negative feeling, it wasn't positive, it was almost like a neutral, ambivalent feeling. And because I felt that way, I didn't make a plan, any kind of thought that, like maybe I should slow down. I did not think about I pushed out of my mind. I kept rationalizing as the day went on. I kept justifying as the day went on, and all of that food led me to the result of being so stuffed I had to actually medicate myself to sleep. So here were some of my thoughts that were the problem. It's only one day. Is that a thought that you've had a lot it's only one day. And this is not a Thanksgiving thought. This is a thought that can happen when you're at a book club, when you're at a birthday party, when you're at the beach, when you have a friend come into town. That's the problem. We have amazing fun lives. And so that thought doesn't just save our permanent brain, doesn't just save that thought for Thanksgiving, doesn't just save that thought for the holiday season. It comes all year long, because we are fun people. Here's another thought, I deserve to enjoy myself. I eat so well all the time. I deserve this. I don't want to think about it. I deserve to not think about it. Everyone else is eating and drinking. But you know what's interesting about that? Now this, I don't have as much around my family, but when I'm out at a social event with a lot of people that I don't know, when my primitive brain gives me that thought like everyone else is doing this, I have a higher standard for myself than most people, so I don't I don't think I'm better than most people, but when I look at everyone else and what they're doing, I know I'm on a different path. I know I want more for myself. So why am I saying, oh, I should just do what they're doing. The fact that they're eating and they're drinking means it's okay. For me, it's so silly, because I know that I want more for myself. I also tell myself, and this was the first one I gave you, is it doesn't matter. That's a big one for me. I would tell myself, it doesn't matter, even though there was a part of me, a smaller part of me in that moment, that knows it does matter. But I wasn't listening to that part. I only listened to my primitive brain that wanted me to be happy in the moment. This food doesn't matter. Perfect now I get to eat it. And then a thought that happens for a lot of people, and I had this one many, many years, was I'm just going to start in January. I remember probably my last year, my last holiday season of doing what I'm describing you here is I had that thought all throughout the holiday season. I was so busy. My kids were younger. It was one of the busiest holidays ever, and I just had this thought, I just don't want to even think about food anymore, and so I'm going to just allow myself to eat whatever I want. And I gained about seven pounds, I think, over the last probably two months of the year, and I was miserable in January. So it's not like I was like, okay, great, it's January. Now I'm gonna start. I was fucking miserable in January, so that thought in the moment sounds so empowering. Oh yeah, I'm gonna start in January. But then I. Was miserable. Starting in January, I would do a whole 30, I'd lose a bunch of weight, and then I didn't know how to maintain it, because I didn't learn anything by doing whole 30. It was a mess. All of these thoughts. I deserve to enjoy myself. It's only one day everyone else is doing this. All these thoughts made me feel ambivalent, and that's why I ate. So for me, saying to you, hey, this Thanksgiving, watch your portions. It's not going to matter. It's not good enough. You need to watch your mind, and that's what's going to dictate your portions. So let me tell you how my thoughts have radically changed over the years in order to change how I do Thanksgiving and the any other event in my life. Here are my new thoughts. I don't have to eat perfect because thinking we have to be perfect is not the answer. Thinking we have to be perfect is really a thought error that we go back to because we think about being on a diet. And so I said to myself, I don't have to be perfect. I just have to do better. I can indulge a little bit. I just don't want to stuff myself. So those were some thoughts that I changed to and I have now. I want to feel good tonight, and I want to sleep good. That has become very important to me, and it dictates my decisions on a daily basis. Last night, I made popcorn, and my husband came home and he goes, Oh, it smells like popcorn in here. And I said, Yeah, that I didn't make very much. My husband usually is the one that makes popcorn, and he was gone last night, and so I made some for us. And I didn't know how much he normally cooks. I didn't know he cooks about, like, a whole cup, and so I only did, like 1/3 of a cup, and I ate half of the popcorn that came out of that. It was still, it was still probably, like two and a half cups of popcorn when it came, you know, when it popped. But he says, Oh, you didn't have very much. Do you want more? And I said, No, I'm good. I've had enough. And the reason why I can cut myself off is because I have a thought. I want to feel good right now, and I want to sleep good. Very important to me, and it can become very important to you as well. It didn't used to be important to me, but it is very important to me now. I don't have to say yes to everything. This was a mind explosion for me when I finally figured this out. I remember growing up, we had green bean casserole. We've been talking about green bean casserole with my clients a lot this week. There wasn't one person who liked green bean casserole. But would I eat it? I would why? I don't know. I don't know the thought that I didn't have to eat everything that was on that table never occurred to me. Do I want cranberry sauce that is sitting in the dish in the shape of a can? No. No, thank you, but I would eat it because it was out. Do I want one of those hard little rolls that comes in a pack of, like 50? No, if I'm eating bread, it's going to be some good bread. I don't want that. But I never said no to anything. I'm not a big gravy person. If I do have gravy, I just now, I'll have a little bit, but I'm not a big gravy person, but it never occurred to me to look and say, what do I really want on this table? And you know what I would do is I would go for the white turkey meat. I'm really not a huge fan of Turkey, but I would go for the white turkey meat because I had heard somewhere that white turkey meat was better than the dark turkey meat, like it has less calories. And so that was my one little nod. Like, oh, I'm being healthy because I'm I'm being healthy because I'm choosing the light, the white turkey meat. Now I want the dark because it's like, Hey, listen, I'm going to watch my portions, but if I'm going to eat turkey, I want it to be good. I want it to be good. Here's another thought for you. What other people do is irrelevant. What my family certainly, what my children are doing, is irrelevant to me. The thought that I would look at one of my 22 year old boys that can eat anything and think they're eating it so I should be able to is absurd. Same thing with my husband. I don't know what. I don't know if anyone has really figured out what it is between men and women, but my husband can literally lose weight in three days after just like, cutting out a few things. That's not how my body is. And so for me to look at other people and say, well, they're reading it, so I should be able to it's ridiculous. So what other people do is irrelevant. Also, I want to be proud of myself at the end of the day. I want to look back and be proud of how I ate and drank again. Back to the it matters. It matters how I show up for myself in these moments. Another thought that now I have on the regular is I can want something and not eat it. Maybe this year my mom, hopefully she won't hear this on the podcast. Maybe this year my mom will buy some better rolls, some delicious bread to serve, and maybe I'll look at and go, Ooh, I want that. I don't have to eat it just because I want it. So many people just want the wanting to go away. You. But there's other areas of our lives that we want to do things that we don't do. Sometimes we want to say things that we don't say. Sometimes we want to do things that we know socially aren't appropriate we don't do. But when it comes to food, we do not want to want the thing we feel like if we want it, we have to have it. We feel out of control. You could want something and not eat it. You could want second, a second portion, and not go back for seconds. And here's one that sounds a little bit sassy, but I don't mean it sassy. What I do is no one else's business, not from a sassy place, just from a truth standpoint, what I eat, what I say yes or no to, is no one else's business. It's irrelevant, even if other people think it is their business, even if other people do feel like they can comment on it. And this leads me to kind of a second iteration of this. It's okay if they meaning the people around you. It's okay if they think my choices are wrong if they think I'm doing it wrong if they think I should or shouldn't eat, it's okay that other people have thoughts about what I'm doing. Next week podcast is going to be I'm going to be talking all about people pleasing, because it really is a huge problem, especially during the holiday season. And the cool thing is, is when you can become better at not people pleasing and really pleasing yourself. That's a skill that you can take through every area of your life the whole year. So this is I work on this a lot with my clients, especially during the holiday season. So stay tuned for next week podcast. It's going to be all about people pleasing. And here probably is the most profound thought I want you to believe any holiday, any gathering, any event today, is not about the food or the alcohol. That's not why we're here, and you get to decide why you're here. For me, it's about the people. It's about the experience. So if I'm traveling, it's about the experience. But I guess even on Thanksgiving, I think of my mom and my dad. They decorate the house so beautifully. And I know someday my parents are going to be gone, and I'm going to remember the environment. So it maybe it is about the people and the environment, and about the celebration and about the love the food is a fun little side business that's a little side hustle, a little side gig that we can think about that's also fun, but today is not about the food. How might that be true? Now, if you're working with me, either in my one of my groups or privately, you know what to do. You've created a plan, and you know it all starts with you choosing what you want to believe. So I encourage you to go back to that belief journal on that belief, especially the day before and the day of Thanksgiving. I will tell you my beautiful podcast listener something that my clients are understanding at a deeper level and learning how to navigate as they do this work with me, your primitive brain is going to have opinions about how you should live your life on Thanksgiving, your primitive brain is the one that is going to give you all of the you know, it's only one day I deserve this. It doesn't matter. I'll start in January. That's all coming from your primitive brain. So I want you to remember, even as it's happening, my primitive brain just wants me to be happy now, my primitive brain doesn't care about my health. My primitive brain doesn't care about how I fit in my clothes. My primitive brain does not care about how I sleep tonight, even if you decide to think, okay, my thought is, of all, maybe, of all the thoughts I said, you think what other people do is irrelevant. Maybe you loved that one. Maybe you resonated with that one, even though you decide that's what you're going to think on Thanksgiving Day, your primitive brain is going to throw some other thoughts your way, and these other thoughts are going to create discomfort in your body, and you're not going to want to feel the discomfort, and the fastest way to Get out of discomfort is eating or drinking. So remember that as you head into your holiday season, remember that as you head into your gathering is that you can decide what you want to believe. On purpose, your primitive brain is still going to hammer the other thoughts at you. It's going to be uncomfortable, which is going to make you even more want to turn to food, but remember, there is discomfort either way. There's going to be the discomfort of sticking to your plan in the moment. It's going to feel uncomfortable to want and not eat. That's uncomfortable, but there's also the discomfort of stuffing yourself again, of telling yourself we knew we would do this again, of having regret again, of working these same bad patterns again, there's discomfort. I just want you to choose intentionally which discomfort you are going to feel. If you are in the US, I hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving with your family. And if you are anywhere in the world, I hope. You have a lovely week for information on how we can work together. Head to modern body, modern life.com. To schedule a consultation with me. I'm currently coaching women privately, and I offer group coaching programs you.