"White-Knuckling it or Giving Up...There Was NO In between." My client Katie's Story.

In today’s episode, I’m sitting down with one of my clients and friends, Katie, to have an honest, real conversation about food, midlife, menopause, mindset, and what it actually takes to create lasting change.

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If you're listening in real time, make sure to sign up for my Free Webinar "Your Year of Change" HERE.

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Katie had been listening to this podcast for a long time before we worked together. She understood the concepts intellectually. She wanted things to change. But like so many women, she found herself stuck in the cycle of trying hard, tightening down, losing control, and then blaming herself.

In this episode, we talk about what finally shifted.

Katie shares what it felt like to go from feeling helpless around food to feeling calm, grounded, and in control—without dieting, restriction, or perfection. We talk openly about menopause, inflammation, exercise no longer “working” the way it used to, and the cultural story that midlife weight gain is inevitable.

We also dive into something bigger than weight loss.

Katie explains how learning to manage her thoughts—not just her food—changed how she shows up with her kids, her husband, her work, and even her aging parents. One of my favorite moments in this conversation is when she shares how the mindset tools we use helped her respond differently to everyday stress instead of numbing out with food.

We also have an honest conversation about using GLP-1 medications as a tool. Katie shares why she chose to use them, the stigma she felt, and why mindset work is still essential if you want the results to last—whether you’re on medication or not.

If you’ve ever:

• Felt like you should be able to do this by now
• Wondered why what worked in your 30s and 40s no longer works
• Felt stuck consuming information but not creating real change
• Or worried that focusing on food might negatively impact your kids

…this episode is for you.

Katie’s story is a reminder that you’re not broken—and that real freedom around food is possible at any age when you stop relying on willpower and start changing how you think.

I currently work with women privately to achieve their health, mindset, and body goals.  I would love to offer you a consultation HERE to discuss the changes you want to make to create more joy, health, and peace in your body and life.

Transcript

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Bob, welcome to modern body, modern life, the podcast for women who want to feel powerful, healthy, strong and confident, inside and out at every age. On this podcast, we talk about becoming a woman who is fully in control of her eating and movement, so weight loss, strength and energy become permanent. We also talk about something bigger, becoming the woman who takes her deepest desire seriously and goes after more in every area of her life. I'm body and life coach Courtney Gray, and I believe you can get in the best shape of your life at any age, and when you do, it becomes a catalyst for everything else, your relationships, your confidence, your joy, because when you feel like you and your body, all of life gets better. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast episode 113 and this is a very special podcast, because I'm having one of my clients and friends here to have a great conversation with me. I asked her if she would come and share her story on the podcast, and I'm just very grateful that she would take the time on New Year's Day to come speak with me. So hello Katie. Welcome to the podcast. Hi Courtney. Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to have you. And I thought what I would do before I start asking you some questions and we kind of dive in, I thought what I would do is just kind of give everyone a little bit of a backstory, because this was really fun for me. I think it's also fun for you. I've talked about it on podcast in the past, but Katie just finished working with me in my 12 week program, the modern Change Program, which is open right now for enrollment, and so I asked her to come on the podcast just to share her story. And it's actually really fun, the fun story before she even joined the program, is I was going for a walk in our beautiful park here in Chico, California. We have this huge, beautiful park called Bidwell Park, and I often walk or run, and Katie also often walks a run. And we would see each other from time to time, and we've been friends for a long time, but I saw her a few months ago, and I was like, Hey, how are you? And she was, I was lit I'm literally listening to the year podcast right now. And I knew she listened to the podcast. And it always is so flattering when people tell me they're loving the podcast, and she said, I'm loving it. She goes, You know, I almost joined your program because enrollment had just closed. And I said, Why didn't you? Which is a very bold thing for me to say, but that's how much I love my program. I'm like, if someone's thinking about it, I'm like, what is happening? Why didn't you? And so we just had this great five minute conversation, and she ended up joining. I said, Hey, even though it closed yesterday, I'm happy to have you. And she ended up joining. And so she wrote me a beautiful testimonial after working with me for 12 weeks in this group program, and it was so nice. I said, Gosh, it would mean so much to me if you would come and share your story on the podcast. So that is why we are here. So I guess where I'll start with you, Katie is, you know you've heard me say all the time. And for you know, I know you listen to most of the podcast before you ever even worked with me. Is me say that like being in a body where you not only feel like you like the way you look in your body and clothes, feel like you like the way you feel in your clothes, but also, you've heard me say many times in the podcast before you worked with me, it's like feeling like you're in control around food matters so much. It's so important. So why does it matter to you right now, I feel like I'm so much more in control. First of all, after doing your wonderful program, it's really helped. I feel like it's really good to not feel I was feel. I would feel helpless. I would feel like I was in control for a short period when I was really, like, tight, like, tightened down with the control. And then I would just lose it, and then I would feel like I had no control at all. And, you know, it's so it's so nice to just to be able to make a plan and stick with it. And I would try to do that with your program and listening to the podcast. I mean, I would try to do that, but just the accountability of going through the program and some of your reality checks, I guess, was just really helpful to just give me the ownership over my body and my choices, because even not making a choice is making a choice around food. So that's so true. That's such a good point. Yeah, 100% and that it really helped me to realize that too. Because sometimes I would be like, well, especially around travel, I think last fall, I traveled a lot, or the unknown, and it would, I would be like, Well, I don't even know what I'm going to do, so, oh well, I don't have any control over this and it and so whatever I put in my mouth, I didn't have any control over and that is so not true at all. Yeah, that's why I feel like it's one of the few things we actually can control. You know, sometimes the gyms close, sometimes, if you're a runner and you don't run in the rain and it's raining, that can feel a little bit out of control. But what we put in our mouth, if you think about it, it is one of the few things we actually do. Have ultimate control over, yeah, and I don't give up that kind of control to other aspects of my life. Yeah, you know what I mean. I don't give up that kind of control with my money, with my kids. Well, sometimes I do, but yes, I get it. I get it. Yeah. What do you think the difference is between the eating, oh gosh, I you know, there's just so many. Societally, there are just so many. There's so many aspects of eating, right? There's a social, there's the emotional, there's the comfort, there's how you were raised, with cleaning your plate. There are just so many, so many layers, I think. And as women, there's so many expectations of how we're supposed to look. But then the people pleasing aspect, which you really go into all of those things, I think they're just a lot of different layers, and there's a lot of shame if you don't have control over it. So then it's almost or if you're heavier than you want to be, there can be some shame involved. And so then it's almost easier psychologically, I think, just to say, well, it's beyond my control. This menopause is beyond my control. You know, it seems even more as women get into those menopause age in the in the midlife, it's almost like the perfect excuse. And I mean, I will step back and say the things that worked for me before menopause, keeping the weight off and keeping it a healthy weight, did not work once I hit tell me what those things for you were, what didn't work anymore, because a lot of women this way. Well, I was a I was a big exerciser. I mean, I ran marathons and did triathlons, and I was always able to keep my weight in check with that. But then menopause hit, and I got every itis possible, tendonitis, plantar fasciitis, arthritis, you know, all the itises, all the inflammation, and I couldn't exercise as hard. And so I think that was one area that that definitely and I think with that, then maybe I lost some muscle mass, maybe my metabolism, you know, I just couldn't eat as much as I could eat before. Yeah. And then when you start thinking of the narrative like, well, this is the like, because this is the narrative I hear all the time, it's kind of like, oh, you're in midlife, you're in menopause. This is how it's supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you hear that around so much of of it before, and I'm so glad there are these wonderful people, doctors out there that are really researching and set menopause, and we're realizing that's not how it has to be at all. Yeah, yeah. It's a beautiful thing. And for the I feel like we're pretty lucky because generations of women before us, they're just the research was not there. They were really comparing our bodies to sedentary men's bodies in a lot of these studies. It's amazing. Yeah, it is so Wow. Well, you know what it took? It took women our age, being doctors. Oh, right. Oh, my god, yeah, that never even occurred to me, right? Like, our mother's generation, there were not very many female physicians, yeah, but you think about it, that's real. And going through the change, and then being like, Oh, my God, what I was doing before isn't working, and why is that? And then really doing the research, that's, that's so brilliant, I can't, I can't believe that had never occurred to me, but yes, that's exactly what happened, yeah. Well, so let me ask you this. So before joining the program, because you said you were loving the podcast, you were, like, a listener. You would message me sometimes that how you loved it, like, well, like, Are you like, looking back, because you could have easily said, and I think we kind of talked about it that day when I costed you in the park, like, you could have kept listening and so, and this is a question I probably should ask you at the end, but I'm excited to hear now, is like, Are you glad that you invested in yourself and time and money to actually go to the next level with the program, as opposed to just listening to the podcast? Courtney, I feel like it was 100% worth the time and money. I mean, or more than that. I mean, it's hard to put into words 100% how all the ways that it helped, and how it was different, but it was just like a leveling up. I think it was that personal accountability. If I can listen to you, I can listen and then I can go on with my day. You know what I mean, but if we're sitting and talking, and I'm sure it's like this for everyone who doesn't know you as well, too, but I think I got, I don't know if I got the extra special because I've known you for so long, but, but, and I don't think so. I don't think that's the case, because I think all the women in the program really benefited. But it just, it just took it to that next, just that next level of accountability. I think because you actually did the work, you were actually creating a protocol, doing the workbook. And sometimes when you didn't, we would talk about why you did it. So, like a lot of times, I talk about on the podcast, about. I think a lot of people are stuck in In fact, I don't know if I should look back to see if I've done a podcast on this. This might be a good one to do over the next few weeks, but a lot of people, not just women, are stuck in consuming we're in a information age and consuming age. And when I say consuming, we kind of think eating or drinking. But what I am talking about is listening to a podcast, reading a book, listening to a book. And it feels so good to think, yes, I'm gonna do that. Yes, I'm good. But when you actually go into the program and start doing the work, that's you, you go to in from consuming to creating, yes, and I was kind of stuck there. I would try to, but then I, you know, would back off and wouldn't and, you know, and then let all the other excuses come in why I wasn't making progress. Now I do, I will say, and she's gonna love the shout out. I have a friend. We have a mutual friend who is really good at listening to the podcast and doing her protocol, okay, and she is able to do it on her, but she's like a rarity, more power to Sarah that she can do that. But I think a lot of us, a lot of us, really, most of us, are not that I would agree with you when it comes to not even just eating, but I do think eating but I do think eating is one of the hardest things most of us will ever do, because it's something we have to do every single day. It's something that like, like you said, emotional, social pressure, you know, different, circumstantial pressure. There's it's just a it's a hard thing to do. So what else like before joining the program? What else had you already tried and like, what? What was working and not working for you? Okay, well, I already talked about my workouts, like, back, you know, 1520, years ago. I've done Weight Watchers. I did that after graduate school, when I gained weight and wasn't where I wanted to be. And that was successful then. But then I gained it back. I've done Noom. I've done 75 hard. I've done competitions at work. I've, you know, kind of the game those, yeah, yeah. And I've had moderate success with all of them. And I've actually learned something from all of them, Weight Watchers, I learned how to track my food. You know, Noom too. I guess Noom had a little bit of the coaching accountability, but not as much, not as much, not not as deep. And none of them really had the mindset, which I think is so and we'll go into that, I know, but the whole mindset is so important because that's been the secret sauce, I think, for me. Yeah, and so did you? Were you worried at all in the beginning that it was mindset, focus, and it wasn't a diet? Because I will most, I will tell you most of my people that that either join the program or coach with me private. It sounds amazing to them, like I just had two consults last week, two women that are starting to work with me this week, and both of them are like, it sounds amazing, but I don't fully really believe that I can do what you're saying. You know, that I can lose the weight I want to lose permanently without dieting. Did you kind of feel that way as well? I kind of did too. I was kind of like, okay, Courtney, you you say you can do this, but let's see. I think I'm different. Yeah, bring it on. And which, you know, I'm sure everyone says to use, so yeah, and I didn't really understand that, because I I meditate a lot. I've worked on, you know, I've mindset so much of running a marathon is mindset, for example, setting that goal and achieving it. But, yeah, there's just something different with this mindset. So tell me what you think is different, because it's, I think it's a little different for every single person. Some people learn a lot about their childhoods and where their eating patterns got started, like the just, even just the limiting beliefs in their head around food and about how to feel joy and what how to celebrate. So that's it for some people. For some people, they learn that it's a lot of the emotions that are getting in the way. Like, what was it for you when you say mindset? What does that mean for you? Well, I think you know one of the tools, the CT, F, ar, the circumstance, thoughts, feelings, really looking at that, and then how you respond to it, and what your what your action is from it. I think that that was really helpful for me, because I could change my my response was often throwing up my hands and giving up or seeing a really stressful situation or something annoying. I mean, I shouldn't even say annoying, but I think about, I mean, this is, is it okay? I'm gonna talk about an area that wasn't even food, that wasn't even food that. So I think about how it helped me, like my 87 year old mom lives in town, and I just love that I get to spend time with her. And also, sometimes she'll call me about her Apple Watch not working or something. You know that I. Done a million times and fixed for her. And and I'm like, Oh God, I have to take time out of my day to go, you know, that's the circumstance, right? And then, and then my thought about it is, I get annoyed, and several times I've gone through and done the mindset shift, the model, and I can, and then I can think, if I change it to the circumstances, her watch isn't working. My thought about it could be, oh my gosh, that is frustrating for her, and I get to go help her with that. I'm so lucky she lives here and that she's an 87 year old woman who wants to use an Apple Watch. I mean, my God, that's pretty awesome. You know, so glad you brought that up, because that is this work, and this is what, why I'm always saying this is so much more than weight loss. Because here's the reality is, if you if before you did this program, if that would have happened, possibly, if I'm thinking about me and how I how I used to function before I learned the model and thought work and mindset is we have a long, busy day, our kids, all these things happening. And then the last thing we're finally ready to settle in our day, and our 87 mom, year old calls and wants us to help with the Apple Watch. And we could easily have a thought like, Oh my fucking god, this is the last thing I want to do. Of course, you love your mom, but you're like, oh my god, this is I want to do. And even though, of course, you're going to go help her, you're a good person. You're a wonderful daughter, but then you come home and your cup is even more like, I can't do any more, and then we eat and drink, yes, yes. And so it's really been helpful to not do that and not that I'm perfect, because I don't want anyone listening to this to think that you come out of this program 100% perfect. But I think what it's been really helpful for me is even when I do go over and I'm irritated and snappy, I can come home and I can think, instead of beating myself up because, and this goes with food too, you beat yourself up when you fuck up. Excuse me, you know, girl, you know, it's welcome, but, but now I can come home and I can look, hey, what can I do differently next time? How can I learn from this? What did I do well? What did I not do well? And how can I learn from it? And it's been and it's not, you know, it's not just my mom, it's my kids, it's my husband. It's work, work, oh my gosh. There are things that drive me crazy, and then there are things that I can just be like, Okay, well, what do I have control over? And how can I respond to this so beautiful, and I'm so glad you brought it up, because when we can control ourselves and handle ourselves and think intentionally around the things that happen in our life, that is going to determine how what we eat, and what we how we move our body and all the things. So that's why, when someone like there's a lot of people right now, today is the first of January, this podcast is going to be hitting next week. It's going to be the first podcast to air after the new year. So there's a lot of people right now thinking, Okay, I got to dial in. I got to get my shit together. And they're just thinking, I'm they're just thinking of their food specifically. They're thinking what I'm not going to eat. And that's what I like about the protocol. Is what you are going to eat, yes, yes, yes. And then understanding how, how you respond to the things in your life is going to affect what you eat and what you don't eat, beautiful. I'm so glad you shared that story. There are so many people right now that can think of a story very similar, especially if people, most of people listening, are, you're my age, and do have parents that are needing us more and more, yeah. So it's, yeah, yeah. Oh, thank you. Thank you. So, um, can you so I was, I was going to ask you to share, like, a specific mindset, like moment, and so you actually already did that. So I'm like, Oh, I don't even have to go into that. So let me dive into this. So you joined the program, and you, and I love that you said this in your testimonial that's on on my website, that you're using a GLP one for weight loss. And I know if you haven't already, this is to all the listeners, if you haven't already listened to my podcast where I talk about, it was from a few weeks ago, where I talk about the GLP ones and the weight loss drugs. I think it was a great podcast. I had so much it was feedback. Oh, thank you. I had so much positive feedback from that podcast. And so Katie, I would love for you to talk about, like, how the group helped you, like supporting you while with that journey of being on the GLP ones, because I think there's a lot of people out there that eventually want to possibly get off of them. Some people aren't, but some people, I talk to more people that they're using them as a tool, and they eventually want to get off so I would just love to hear your thoughts. Yes, and that's exactly where I am at too I really, I really wanted to use them as a tool to get the weight off, and then I feel like I have some good things in place. As far as I am a regular exerciser. I don't eat a lot of processed foods. I don't eat out very much. You know, all those things kind of are in place that could make it. Possible for me to get off, but I knew that the thing that was missing long term, because I've lost weight before. I lost, you know, 30 pounds in the past. My goal this time was 45 but I've lost to 50. But I've lost that. I've lost large amounts before, and then gradually it's prepped back on, and I don't want that to happen again. And so that's really where I knew there was an extra step to go with that. So that's where, that's where I thought do, and I love your podcast is so was so helpful. But I just decided, you know, what the heck I'm gonna I'm gonna throw all everything I can at this, throw the whole kitchen sink at this issue, and you were, and I'm going to use, you know, use whatever tools I can and, and I really respect what Courtney talks about and and the podcast, and then I love you. So I thought, well, you know what? I will do this for myself. I also had, we had gotten a gift from someone, and I had a little bit of money set aside that I was thinking, how am I going to spend it? And so that it was nice that I had that set aside so it made it and it was my birthday. It was right, like, three weeks before my birthday. So I'm like, I am going to give this to myself for my 55th birthday. It's such a beautiful gift. I'm so glad you did. I love it. Do you feel more prepared like that, with the new with the 75 hard, with the with all those other things you've done before? Does this feel different? Yes, 100% 100% because it is. It's it's forever. It's not just until the program's done, or just until the weights off. Yeah, yeah. Because do you have, are you still wanting to lose more weight, even though the program's over for you? Yeah? Yes, yes. So since I started the GLP one, I'm down 22 pounds. So since I started with you, I think I'm down 12 or 15 pounds, something like that. I mean, over the holidays, I've pretty much had held steady, and I and I'm okay with that, yeah, I amazing, because how most people would say over the holidays, they're up Yes, yes. And I think actually, since Thanksgiving, until now, I've probably lost two pounds. So yes. So I'm really happy. I'm happy with that. I think by the time I actually, by the time I started with you, I'd lost eight pounds total. So I guess what's 22 I've lost four. I've lost 14 pounds. And I'm on a not a super high dose either, which is, which is kind of nice that I haven't needed to be because my weight loss has been steady and I wanted it to be slow, you know, because more sustainable. You think, yes, 100% Yeah. Do you feel like there's a stigma around GLP was like, I was so I was such a like, I just felt like you were such an amazing person to say that to me. Like on our first private call together, you're like, hey, just want to let you know I'm on a GLP one. I'm like, nice, just for you to be able to own it, because I've not ever I was nervous to tell you, Oh my gosh, just because of the stigma. I mean, I knew you wouldn't judge me because you're the least judgmental person. But yes, and that's why I just love Serena Williams, yes, you know, because, my God, she's like one of the top athletes in the world, I mean, top tennis player and arguably, and one of the top all time female athletes. And if she struggles with her weight, it's not a lack of hard work thing, not, certainly not a lack, not a lack of discipline, and it lets us know how this really is a problem for so many people. Yes. And controlling yourself, control Yeah, not eating it and all that. Yeah, yeah. And I really think your, my your program would work without it too. Like, if I wasn't on it, I think I would have lost weight too. So I want to say that I don't think you have to be on it, but because people are not, most of the people you know, I've been doing this program for years now, and it's just been the last few rounds that I will have a few people that are on it. So that's why it's just really, I appreciate you being here, sharing your story, because I think there's a lot of people that are on it that, first of all, they there is the stigma. They don't want to tell people they're on it. They because there's this stigma that they're kind of stigma that they're kind of cheating some system. And so, yeah, so I'm really grateful for you to be to be here. Yeah, I know the whole, Am I cheating? Like, well, I don't care. Yeah, I love it. I love I'm doing me. I love it. So what changes? Like, did you notice outside of food and weight loss that, and you kind of nodded to it already, the the model, like the be the being able to respond to the circumstance of your mom asking you to help her. You kind of talked about that already. But like, Are there any other changes that you noticed outside of food and weight loss that surprised you? Well. I love your visualization, like talking about really visualizing your future. And I've really been doing that a lot too. We're getting like you, if you you talked in your podcast about getting a new getting a pool in your backyard, and so we're getting a pool. And so I am just visualizing the bathing suits that I'm going to be wearing next summer and and so it I mean, I don't know this isn't really your question as much, but I am really having a lot of fun with the process, which I've never Yeah, and not just the visualization, but the whole process of losing weight. Oh, I love that, yeah, which I would hear you say that on your podcast, I'm like, what the hell I love Yeah, I love it. That's not fun. And actually it has been, and I think it's more fun now that you know our getting our Christmas card pictures taken, this is the first time in years that I haven't cringed at how I looked in those pictures. You see that is so important that is not a little thing. No, it's not. It's not. And I find that I enjoy gatherings more like, for example, I'll think of one my husband's in rotary and so he had a Christmas rotary party, and I knew it was going to be centered around food, and probably not great food and and he was in charge of the orders that we took, and they weren't even that hell. I mean, like I would have chosen something healthier, but I I really thought, You know what, I am going to really get to know some of these people. And so I actually stood, I was in the corner talking to a man that actually, I don't know, oh, he doesn't listen to podcasts. I'm sure, kind of can drive some people crazy. But I had the nicest hour and a half conversation with this gentleman, and was far enough away from the food, I didn't even think about the food or the drinks, and it just was so much more enjoyable when you because one of the things you know, for the listeners, one of the things we talk about a lot of my program and I teach, is when you're going to an event, it doesn't have to be at the about the food. It actually shouldn't be about the food. So did you Katie? Because you know that, did you kind of plan on that was that part of your protocol for the event? It was 100% 100% and I really, I really thought about that, yeah, that that's how it was going to be. And there was another, another one, another, like Christmas brunch gathering that I went to, that I did a similar thing with. And it was, I've been to both these parties in the past, and I had so much more fun this year. Yeah, that's awesome, yeah, yeah, not being worried. And then I felt good when I left. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, we can get out of that, like food addiction, when we can start feeling in control, which takes a while to do. You know, that's why the program's 12 weeks. You know, when you can start feeling in control, you really do open up to other areas of your life that are more important, talking with people, enjoying the moment, liking the way you feel, liking like be having someone say, let's take a picture. And you're not like, oh God, let me get in the back. Yeah, yeah. And I want to be clear, it's not like I didn't eat at either of these two events, but I was just so much more mindful. And actually, I think the food that I did eat I enjoyed more than if I would have just tried a little bit of everything. You know. Yeah, I always say that eating food tastes it food tastes so much better without a dose of shame. Yeah? So, so looking back at the group, because we ended a few weeks ago, like, did you enjoy being in a group of other women, like, from all over the United States? I loved it. I miss them. I do. I do. I really, really enjoyed it. I think a couple things I realized. First, I realized how lucky I am to live where I live. You know? I mean, I think being in being in California, being here, and my friend group, it just makes some things a lot easier. I love listening to you coaching too, because I took even if it was something that didn't apply to me. I took something from all of the coaching from others, and sometimes I didn't feel like being put on the spot. It was nice just to sit back and listen, yeah, and Did Did it surprise you that when someone else would start talking about something, even though maybe they live in a different place and they live in they have different, you know, circumstances in their lives, or Harder, harder things that are affecting them. Did you feel like, Oh, I'm learning just by listening to that? 100% yes, yes, I could always take something even if it absolutely didn't apply to me, but I could always take something from it. That's the biggest thing I went on before I ever joined a group coaching for. Program, I thought, why would I want to hear someone else be coached? It made me think, like, it would be, like, why would I want to be sitting, like, silently, listening to someone else in therapy? But it is different, especially since I'm, you know, a lot of therapists don't do a lot of talking, where I do a lot of talking and teaching and coaching. And so you really can learn a lot by by sitting there, comfortable because you're not on the spot and listening to someone else struggle in an area that you're like, I get that right. Yeah, there too, and understanding more about yourself by understanding what they're going through, and then you don't feel like you're the only one either. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the power of group coaching. So do you feel like one of the things I always say is like the difference between my program and a diet is like you really are becoming, becoming a different person. There you are changing your brain. We're changing the way you think. We're changing your self concept. Do you feel different? Yes, yes. No pressure. No pressure. You better say. Yes, no pressure, no pressure. Get the podcast. Yeah, I'm gonna cut this out if you don't totally do I totally yes and and it's so funny, because the whole being more in control sounds like I'm a control freak, and I actually feel less rigid. If that, I don't know if that makes sense, I feel more in control, but less rigid. How? So explain that? Because I don't know. I think before, if there was, if there was food that I knew I shouldn't eat, I would feel like I had to be hyper vigilant about not going there, you know, almost like, almost like, you know, a baby not touching the hot stove that you I agree. I well, I Katie. I feel the same way. I feel like, there, when you really get in control around food, there is more freedom. Because for me, I was constantly like, I really thought, if I want to lose the weight I want to lose, I cannot eat sugar ever again. I can't drink I can't do all these things. And now I'm like, Oh, it turns out that that I can have those things. I just I need to have a little bit less. I need to choose my timing. I need to all do all those things 100% and it's also really taught me, instead of beating myself up from my mistakes, to learn, really, learn from them. And be like you talk about being curious, why did that happen, and why did I go there and and even taking some good things out of them? I mean, yeah, one of the trips we were, I was on this this fall, we stopped at a Mennonite bakery up in Oregon. I was, I had taken my mom up for my uncle's 90th birthday, and we stopped at this cute little some relative of ours, I'm sure, because we have Mennonite relatives up there. And she had this woman had these snickerdoodles, and I bought a pack, and they tasted just like my grandma's. And I think I ate all the sticker doodles on that trip. And that was the only my only failing, because I took lot of food up there. I was really good about planning ahead and everything but, but then I thought, Oh, I was disappointed I'd eaten so many. But then I thought, You know what? It really did take me back to my grandma, yeah. And so what? What are other things I maybe could do in the future, do next time that will give me that same feeling that I don't need to, you know, all that exploration you did, because I remember coaching you on this, all that exploration you did, as opposed to, oh, my God, you always do this. Why do you do this? You shouldn't have done this, which nothing good comes from us, shitting on ourselves, like no, no. And then the past, I would maybe get back into eating help. But then I would lock down. You know, I would have come back from that weekend and just locked down and been so hard on myself all week, and then that leads to falling off the wagon or whatever, because we can't lock down. But to me, that says willpower and restriction and shame. When is I have to look, I forget. I forget. But there's like the quitters. Friday is coming up in a few weeks. People, they have all these great intentions, and then most people are like, I'm out because they cannot sustain lockdown. You can't. There's absolutely no way. And that's where the mindset and and that comes comes in. You know, you are such a great mom. I know you, and I've been talking about our kids at the farmers market for years and years. And years. Do you feel because I feel this way, like, do you feel like there are going to be certain things, and if so, what are they that you might like be able to now teach your kids because of what you learned in the program? Yeah, it's really interesting. My son has kind of shifted from being a kid that puts everything in his mouth and is a little bit chubbier than, you know, not, not necessarily as healthy too, now he's on this huge health kick and kind of going that other it's really interesting with with the weight. It's my son that I see more of, kind of a not concerned with, but a little bit so we my husband, I have really. Really been talking to him about eating, making healthy food choices, and eating to sustain the activity that you're doing. And, you know, that's the so around eating, that's that's that, and when that my kids are in athletics, you know, I, I've never really wanted to talk about dieting, like with around my daughter especially, yeah, I've always been really careful about that, and that's been part of my excuses before, or my, you know, before, oh, I don't want to bring bring light. I don't want to not eat the ice cream when we go out to ice cream, because I don't want her to think that, you know, oh, this is a bad thing to do. And mom's on a diet. So I've always been that's kind of been my excuse for not taking control. I'm so glad you said that, because actually, that is something that has come up with a lot of my clients, especially with daughters, they have like, a protocol, okay, tonight, I'm not going to have dessert. And then their daughter makes cookies and says, Here you go. And then there's that moment of there's a lot of things happening. One, of course, they want the cookies, because cookies are cookies, and it's amazing. And then they feel like, oh my gosh, if I don't eat the cookie, what is the message I'm sending? And then there's like, then they can use as that as an excuse, because they don't want to shame the cookie, shame the body. So that can be a really tricky thing. It can be, it can be. And so I'm really trying to do it around health. I'm not feeling hungry right now. I I would love a cookie. Can I? Can I have save it for tomorrow? There are times that I've done that, yeah, so, and those are all tools that I've learned that I Why didn't I think of that before? Because I think, because I think it has to be practiced. That's all. I think that's the beauty of this. By being in a program like this, you get to practice it over and over and over again. Yeah, thinking, I'm just going to say to anyone who heard that and is thinking, Oh, my God, I actually do that. I use it as an excuse around my daughter, my like coaching on that would be what Katie said perfectly, is, oh, I'm going to have this tomorrow. But you can have a conversation with your daughter and say, Hey, I'm trying to get healthier, like I don't want to spike my insulin, I don't want to eat too much sugar. I had cookies yesterday, and that can be a beautiful enough. You're not saying I'm trying to lose weight. I feel like I look horrible. You can just say this is no big deal. I kind of want one. They look amazing. I'll have one tomorrow, and I'm sure, if we're being realistic. She sees you eating other things, so it's not like you're damaging her. I think that we can have the conversation with our kids. I'm trying to eat better. Yeah, and my son too. I mean, that's he made these delicious cookies the other day, and it was exactly that. And I said, and I had a little, I did have a little bite of them. He said, Mom, don't you want more? And I said, you know, what? Can I just say this for tomorrow? I'm not hungry right now, and I'm, you know, eating a cookie isn't in my plan for today. So beautiful. And there's no nothing the way you said, That was perfect. I feel no shame, nothing about it. So that's amazing. Yeah, yeah. So what would you say, like, directly to a woman who's listening? Because I know there's a lot of women listening right now that have been thinking about working with me. They just like you did. They were loving the podcast, and they're like, do I really want to do this? And I know, and I think you maybe know this as well, is that they're like, you know, I'm worried I'm going to do it, and I'm not going to do it. I'm worried I'm going to sign up, but I'm not going to follow through. I'm not going to do the work. I'm just throwing the fence. What would you say to them? Well, there's no easy fix. And I will say this, your program isn't easy if you're really going to do it. Yep. I mean, and I feel like, I mean, I wrote in my protocol almost every day. There were a couple days that I didn't, but I wrote in the workbook, which I love and I miss. I wrote in it. I mean, I have my own journal that I use, but I wrote in it every day. I really, really, really tried to employ the mindset tools, because it does take practice. It's not it's not something that's just going to happen. But I'd also say, you're worth it. You're so worth it. If you have the resources to do the program, it is 100% worth it. It is 100% worth it. I mean, if you're like, if you're like my friend, or friend who can do it on her own, that's great too, even though I think she'd benefit from it too. The other great thing, I mean, I have a group of, you know, my group, my girl's group of friends, they have been so supportive. And every week, how's Courtney? I love it. I love it so. But I think, I think anybody would benefit from it. Thank you. Thank you for saying, Thank you for saying, It's hard because, you know, I decided, like, when it comes to marketing a business, it's not necessarily something you want to say. If you think about most weight loss, most mindset, most any kind of making change program out there, it's always fast and easy. My program is fast and easy. My program is fast and easy. And I just, I think what it is is we are intelligent, educated women, and we don't buy that anymore. We don't. Know that it's going to be fast and easy. So I was on a console this week with a woman who we start working this week together, because she said yes, and she she's coaching with me privately and and i She said, she goes, it sounds like this is going to be hard. And I said, Yeah. And she just laughed. She was like, yeah. Well, you said that. I go, yeah. I'm never going to say, Oh no, this is going to be so easy. Because anything that is worth anything is going to take some work. Yes, and I would say the 12 weeks that work that I put into it, I put a lot of work into it, and it was hard now that I'm done, it's it still is work, and I still have to think about it, but it's a lot less work than the first week of your program. I love that so but, but in order to sustain it, it's gonna be every single day. It's not like, you know, and that's how habits are built. And then it becomes part of me. And it's, I mean, I talked about this a lot in the program. I'm an exerciser. I don't even have to think about going to the gym regularly. It's, it's, it's part of my life. It's part of who I am. If I don't go I feel gross and I want to get back. Probably, it's a gift that you have, that not everyone has, that it really is, and I learned that from the program. And I really, that's really, I'm really so happy that that I got my bachelor's degree in sports medicine. It's been a part of my life since, you know, and I've never let that go, because that is a really hard thing. People that have to do both things that's a lot. And I've so much respect for anyone that's good, you know, that's something for your listeners, anybody who has the struggle I have so much respect for if you're trying to, trying to, to fix it and get better and but, yeah, it's going to be the rest of my life. And that's just, that's how healthy living is, right? Yeah? And you'll find that even now that the program is over, it will get it will get a little easier, a little easier, a little easier. I mean, I haven't been, you know, worried about my weight, stressed about my weight, thinking about my weight for years. I can't I don't even remember. It's been four or five years, and it is continuing to I'm feeling more in control. I'm feeling happier, I'm feeling more proud, I'm feeling more like myself in my own skin all of the time. So that's only going to get better, better, better for you. Well, that's, I'm encouraged to hear that. That's, I hope so, yeah, for sure, especially because I know you and you're going to continue listening to the podcast. You're going to continue, you know, listen listening to audiobooks, you know, reading books. Because that's just the kind of, that's the kind of women that I draw in, women that want to, you know, at every age, be their healthiest self. Definitely, definitely, definitely, I feel too good now to stop. Yeah, I love that. Well, I'm so proud of you, and I thank you so much for the podcast and sharing it to me, and I know that there's a lot of people that are going to listen, and it means a lot to them too. Because I was telling Katie at the beginning, I before, I before we hit record, I said, God, it means so much to me, because it's always a little nerve wracking for people who aren't podcasters to come and to share their story, and so, but I said to her, and I go, I can't tell you so many times a woman will come onto a consult with me, or join one of my groups, and they'll say, oh my god, I listened to the podcast with Kathy, or I listened to the podcast with Kim, or or, and now people are going to start saying, I listen to the podcast with Katie, and I resonated so much with what she's saying, and so that is I'm really I'm grateful to you for not only helping me, but helping other women just become their healthiest self. Well, thank you, and thank you for asking me. I feel so honored. I hope you have a great Tuesday, Katie and everyone for information on how we can work together. Head to modern body, modern life.com, to schedule a consultation with me. I'm currently coaching women privately, and I offer group coaching programs you.