5 Reasons the Scale Isn't Moving

If you’ve been eating better, moving more, trying to stay consistent… but you’re still not seeing progress, this episode is for you.

Instead of focusing on diet tricks or quick fixes, I’m talking about what matters most when it comes to real, lasting weight loss:

✨ mindset
 ✨ honesty
 ✨ emotional patterns
 ✨ sustainable habits
 ✨ and learning how to measure progress beyond a number

I share the most common hidden reasons women feel stuck, the mental shifts that create long-term change, and how to stop letting the scale control your mood, confidence, or motivation.

This conversation will help you feel clearer, more empowered, and ready to keep going — without falling back into restrictive dieting.

If you’ve ever thought…

• “Why isn’t this working?”
• “What am I missing?”
• “Shouldn’t the scale be moving by now?”

…you’re going to want to listen to this one all the way through.

Courtney

Enrollment is NOW OPEN for my April Modern Change Group Program. If you are loving the podcast, click HERE get all the details of my program. It is for women who not only want to lose between 10 and 15 pounds by summer, but also want to finally do it permanently and without dieting. In my program, you will become a woman who is in control of her eating, mindset, and follow-through.

Transcript

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Bob, welcome to modern body, modern life. The podcast for women who want to feel powerful, healthy, strong and confident, inside and out at every age. On this podcast, we talk about becoming a woman who is fully in control of her eating and movement, so weight loss, strength and energy become permanent. We also talk about something bigger, becoming the woman who takes her deepest desire seriously and goes after more in every area of her life. I'm body and life coach Courtney Gray, and I believe you can get in the best shape of your life at any age, and when you do, it becomes a catalyst for everything else, your relationships, your confidence, your joy. Because when you feel like you and your body, all of life gets better. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast. Episode 117 five reasons the scale isn't moving. I'm so excited to have you here. This podcast is going to be really focused on what matters most when it comes to you up leveling your life, your body, your eating, your waistline, all the things, and that's mindset. So what you're not going to get here is little hacks like intermittent fasting or taking out carbs or or increasing your protein, we're not really talking about any of those tangible changes. We're talking about what matters more than anything and its mindset, the way you think about you, the way you think about what you're capable of, the way you think about your circumstances in your life, any challenges in your life that is going to matter more than any of the other strategies you do. So my hope is that this podcast is going to be like, oh gosh, yes. Okay, that hadn't occurred to me, but that's possibly what's going on. So if you feel like you're doing all the things, if you feel like you're really trying hard to eat better and move more and just be a healthy version, healthier version of yourself. I really want this podcast to be almost like your secret weapon, like, yes, okay, this kind of clears things up for me. So it is a beautiful Sunday morning, and I'm happy to be here with you, and I'm happy to dive in to these. And before I dive in, I have an ask. I have an ask of you. A lot of you are new to me. I've been getting a lot of new podcast listeners, which I'm so excited about, and I want more and more women to be listening, because I feel like this podcast is important. I feel like it's unique. I feel like my messaging is important. And I would love for you to share this podcast with someone you love. I would love for you to share either this episode or one of my past episodes that you maybe have listened to one or two times, and you're like, oh, wow, this is really hitting me differently than other podcasts I've listened to before. It would mean so much if you would share it with a friend. It would mean so much if you would rate and review, give me a little five stars. I don't ask very often, but I need to ask more, because it means a lot to the podcast. When you share it with people, when you spread the word, when you rate and review, it means more and more women are going to hear about this podcast. And I think this podcast is pretty amazing. I'm really proud of it. It's like my my fourth baby. So I'm so happy you're here. Let's dive in to number one, the first reason why the scale might not be moving for you, you aren't being radically honest about what you're putting in your mouth. I was just talking to my husband about this last night, that there is a lot of research that shows that we all think we are doing better than we are doing. We think we are moving more than we are moving. We think we are drinking less than we are drinking. We think we are eating less processed food than we're actually eating. We think we are meditating more than we are we think we are just doing a better job than we do. It's interesting because our minds are biased to the negative to protect ourselves. We see more of the negative. We sometimes have more of a negative outlook on things. But when it comes to us, and it comes to the job we are doing for our own self betterment, we have rose colored glasses. I was telling him last night about the first time I ever really tracked my food, and my buddy was showing me his favorite tracking app. And I said, Yes, yes, I want to do this right now. And I said, I'm going to create account right now show me what to do. And he's like, Okay, we were literally in the middle of a party talking about lifting weights and macros and all the things, and we were going through and I was filling out, okay, this is my weight this is where I want to be. This is all these things. And he's and I said, Okay, I work out six days a week, and he goes, put five. And I go, No Ryan, I work out six days a week. And he goes, Courtney, put five. And I go, why would I do that? And he goes, because if we were tracking, if we looked over a three month period, and we legitimately tracked how many days a week, he. You are working out, even though you think six. Studies show us, research shows us that you probably actually work out five on the average, with all the days that you like, like, today's the perfect day. My sister and I are going somewhere at 12 o'clock right now. It's eight o'clock in the morning. I have good intentions that I'm going to get a workout in before I go, but by the time I finish this podcast, edit this podcast, shower, pack, do all the things I might not be able to get a workout in. So we all estimate that we are doing better than we do. So he told me, put five days in there. I told my husband. I said, when you look at like how often you're eating the way you want to, you're probably not eating quite as good as you think you are, and there is research to prove this. So when it comes to your eating, it is probable that you aren't being radically honest about what you're putting in your mouth. There is an episode, I'm sorry, I don't know what number it is, but it is probably in the high 80s, maybe mid 80s, where I talked about tracking your food, and it really is a great way for you to figure out how you're really doing when it comes to everything you put in your mouth. Now, for so many people, they have a little PTSD, little baby trauma when it comes to tracking. And what I suggest is you acknowledge that and you give it another try. And I suggest you track from Curiosity. This is one thing I teach my program. I teach my clients. Many of them are like, Oh my God, if I start tracking, I kind of freak out. I start feeling like I have to be perfect. It makes me feel like I'm slipping into diet mentality. I get it. Let's learn to do it differently. Let's track from Curiosity. If you are one of my clients, you know the process to do this. If you're not one of my clients, what I suggest is you track and tell yourself I'm not getting too diety. I just want to be radically honest with myself. I want to see what I'm honestly putting in my mouth, and does every lick and spoonful count? Hell yes, it does. Some people don't want to hear that. Some people don't want to hear that, every single thing you put in your mouth counts, but it's just the truth. We can't deny the truth. It matters. And so often someone will say, Yes, I have creamer in my coffee, and when they track their food, they say one tablespoon. But if you actually measured, most people, I would imagine that use creamer in their coffee, they're doing at least two to three tablespoons. So when you're tracking your food, I'm not telling you to measure. I never measure. I always just over accommodate for that thing. If I am putting in honey, I say two teaspoons when I think it's probably one. When I'm thinking about the olive oil that I use on my salad, I'm thinking two tablespoons, as opposed to just claiming that it's one, because I know the research tells me that I am going to underestimate how much food I'm actually eating. So if you're stepping on the scale and you're frustrated, get radically honest about what you're putting in your mouth. For me, the biggest way this showed up was with peanut butter. I would say to myself, Oh, I don't eat. I probably eat one tablespoon of peanut butter. No Courtney, you eat one spoonful, one heaping spoonful of peanut butter that's probably at least two tablespoons. And does it matter? Hell yeah, it matters because there are a lot of calories, a lot of fat in peanut butter. So it matters, and it feels really good to be radically honest with yourself. And so let's do this from a place, not of shame, but of just shame, but of just radical honesty. We can be radically honest with ourself and still be loving with ourself. That maybe is your challenge. Can you be radically honest about what you're putting in your mouth and still love yourself throughout the process? It's a beautiful experiment. Number two, let's keep going. Number two, this is very common. You're under eating during the day and therefore over eating at night. I can't tell you how many people come on a consultation with me and they're confused as to why they're not where they want to be in their body, and they're like, I hardly eat anything during the day. Oftentimes they think that maybe they need to start eating more, and that rarely is the case for my clients. I've probably had two clients in all of the clients I've seen that I've actually said we need to get you eating more. What is more probable is a redistribution of what you're eating, because if you're not eating during the day, what tends to happen is that then by the time the night comes, not only are you starving, so you're making decisions when you're starving, which is probably never good at the end of the day. You know, I've talked a lot about this, is that you're physically tired, emotionally. Tired. You're in decision fatigue, because you've been making decisions all day. You've been putting yourself on the back burner all day, so you feel like you deserve, finally, to give yourself some comfort. And then you have this sneaky thought that so many people have. I've hardly had anything to eat all day, so I can allow this now. I need food, so I get to have my food now, and you can end up eating 2000 calories between four o'clock and nine o'clock, justifying it because you haven't eaten anything during the day. And this is actually a problem I see with our youth. I was talking to my son about this a few months ago, and I told them, because I most the women I coach are midlife and beyond. But every once in a while, I will coach a younger girl, a girl that's in college, and I see this happening with the younger generations. They don't eat very much during the day. If they do consume anything, a lot of times it's coffee drinks. So it's a lot of caffeine, or it's an energy drink, or it's, maybe there's not a lot of calories, or maybe there are a lot of calories with these, these energy drinks, or these, like coffees, which are, which are basically, basically milkshakes, and they don't really eat anything during the day, and then all of a sudden at night, it's a permission granted, and they're eating the french fries and the burgers and All of that. I see it as a huge problem for our younger generations, this idea, and they don't say it out loud, but when I say it to them, they say, Yes, I see that that is happening in my head, this idea of I haven't eaten anything all day, so now I get to eat this or that, because it's like, Permission granted. It's like I've been in a calorie deficit, which isn't, isn't always true, and then permission granted to eat in the evenings, and they eat too much. So are you under eating during the day and over eating at night? This can be a problem. Another way I see this showing up is those of you that are intermittent fasting. And so your intermittent fasting a lot of the day, and then during your window of eating, it's this, again, permission to kind of eat anything within the window. And what I want to remind you is that's not really the point of intermittent fasting. The point of intermittent fasting is giving your body a break to let your body clean itself out, which is a beautiful thing. But then during your eating window, can you do better than you've done in the past? Can you nourish your body? Don't look at that window as a time to be like, I get to eat whatever I want because I've been intermittent fasting. But can you in that window of eating. Can you eat even better? Can you love your body? Can you take care of your body? Can you give your body the nutrients it needs within that fasting window? So yes. Number two is a big problem. I see is under eating during the day and then overeating at night. Number three, you're not making a plan. You're not making a plan of what you're going to eat. You're not making a plan of what you're not going to eat. You're not making a plan in terms of making it easier for yourself to open the fridge and reach for something that's healthy. And when you're doing this, when you don't make a plan, have you ever heard this when you don't plan, you plan to fail? That's true. I like to think of it as when you don't make a plan, you're telling your primitive brain, it's all yours primitive brain. You get to decide what we're having when you make a plan, you're telling your primitive brain, no, no, no, no, no, we've already decided this is what we want to do. That's the beauty of a plan or a protocol. So when you're not making a plan, you're telling your primitive brain you get to decide in your primitive brain only wants you to be happy in the moment, so you need to make a plan, and what that plan looks like is up to you. Do you want to decide exactly what you're going to eat. Do you want to decide what you're not going to eat and leave it a little bit loose? Do you want to decide how much you're going to eat, what time you're going to eat? Do you want to decide what your workout is going to be? Or do you want to just decide you are going to work out and then go with what you feel like doing in the moment? There's no perfect plan, but I do think a plan is perfect. I do think a plan is such a good idea. And so if you are stepping on the scale and it's not moving, have you been making a plan? And how can you make a plan? And here's another way to look at it, when you think about you in the future, at your goal weight, feeling so good when you're getting dressed, feeling so good this summer, when you're putting that bathing suit on, when you think about her, does she make a plan? I bet she does. I still plan. I tell my clients this all the time. I don't wake up in the morning and write a protocol anymore for my fruit, for my food. I. Have to do that anymore, but I do make plans ahead of time, and most the time, the plans are pretty strict for me. This morning, I'm like, Ooh, I'm hoping I can get to a workout. I really my biggest plan this morning is is creating a banger podcast for you. That's the most important thing. But my plan is to try to get some movement in, even if it's just 10 minutes of do. Minutes of doing my little yoga flow. But most the time, my plans are very specific, very dialed, because that is the way I live in a body and create a life that I am showing up for in a powerful way. So when you think of you in the future, when you think of your 2.0 level of you, do you create a plan? Does she create a plan? Does she enjoy creating a plan? For some people, they think about planning in the future and they feel like it's restrictive, and I disagree. I think creating a plan is the ultimate freedom. I'm going to say that again, because you might be if you're the kind of person that feels like a plan is restrictive. I want to say it again. I believe a plan is actually the ultimate freedom, and how that is possible is when I create a plan, it opens me up to not worrying, to not making a decision in the moment, to not wondering, oh, is this my primitive brain? I've heard Courtney talk about my primitive brain. Is this? Primitive brain. Is this my primitive brain? If you have a plan, you know, if I decide tonight I'm not having dessert, and then all of a sudden, it's eight o'clock and I'm like, oh, a dessert would be kind of great. Maybe we should get this. Maybe we should. I don't know, is this my primitive brain or or is it because I'm I'm just trying to live in the moment. There's no question for me, because I've already decided, when you have a plan, you know the answer, because when you make a plan, you're planning from the part of you that wants what's best for you. So I think a plan is the ultimate freedom. Number four, one of the reasons the scale might not be moving is you're avoiding negative emotions and your emotional eating. Ask yourself this, what do you think emotional eating is? Do you think you're an emotional eater? And you know what? It might be powerful for you to pause the podcast and answer this question. Do you think you're an emotional eating if we look back over the last week, were there any moments where you emotionally ate, I would pause it and actually consider that question. Okay, if you paused it and you're back, welcome back. Here is why that's important. Most people see emotionally eating in two different ways. They see themselves stress eating, which is emotional eating, for sure, and they see themselves like grief eating like sadness eating, which, of course, is emotionally eating, for sure. But oftentimes they don't see it as what is so common is it's avoiding negative emotion by having the feeling like, if I don't eat this thing, then this situation is not going to be fun if I don't have popcorn, bridgerton won't be as fun. Oh my god, are you in the fourth season? I love me some bridgerton, I've only watched the first two episodes. I'm saving the next two episodes for next week. What I really wanted to do was binge them all in the first, you know, few hours. But I really wanted to save it as a treat for myself. So if we think to ourselves, okay, I'm getting ready to sit down and watch bridgerton. I really am trying to lose 15 pounds right now, and I am being radically honest. I'm not under eating during the day and overeating at night. I'm making a plan, but I'm sitting here and bridgerton does not sound as fun without popcorn or ice cream. What your brain is trying to do is get you to emotionally eat. Because when you're sitting there watching bridgerton with no snack, or a smaller snack than you've normally been eating, or maybe you finished the snack you you were going to eat, and now you're sad, that is it. You're feeling negative emotions. And if you're sitting there watching bridgerton, and you say, oh my god, it's bridgerton. I'm going to eat a snack. This is ridiculous. It doesn't matter, life's too short. And you go into the kitchen and you're eating something. You are emotionally eating even though you're not grieving, even though you're not stressed, you're emotionally eating to avoid sadness that comes with sticking to your plan. This is emotionally eating, and a lot of people are not recognizing that, that it is, it's possible that you're a normal human being who has flaws, just like all of us, and you're emotionally eating. So the misconception that emotionally eating is either from stress, anxiety or grief and no other emotions is incorrect. Oftentimes, when we go to that party, and for years and years and years, we have been drinking those margaritas and going to that book club and eating all those snacks, and now we take away some margaritas and we take away some snacks, your primitive brain is going to try to get. You to emotionally eat by telling you that you're not as fun. It's not as fun. Life is too short. People are judging you. Sally's gonna get her feelings hurt because you're not drinking the cocktail she handed you that is emotionally eating. And can you become the woman that says, Ah, I'm a little sad right now. My primitive brain is telling me that this isn't as fun in the moment when I'm not eating or drinking all the things. And then can you say to yourself, but what the ultimate fun is feeling amazing in my body? And can you hold strong to that vision of where you're going. Hold strong to the vision of you becoming a woman that knows that book club and the baby shower and the vacation and the amazing TV show you've been excited about is not about the food. Can you separate the food from the fun. Can you have fun sometimes with food, but not quite as much to have more fun in your body? Because I'll tell you what that is. What's fun feeling like you're fitting in your genes is fucking fun. Being proud of yourself when your head hits the pillow at night. That is fucking fun, more fun than every little, small quiche you could get at that baby shower. And number five, if you're doing what I suggest, right, you're not dieting. You're like, yes, Courtney, I'm on board. I want to do this differently. And you're losing weight without dieting, without being too restrictive. You're making a plan ahead of time. You're allowing yourself to understand your emotional eating. You're really thinking about the the you you want to become. You want to do things different. You want to become your modern, more awakened version of yourself. It's possible that when you step on the scale and it's not moving that your body might need more time to acclimate to a new weight. If you're hearing these things and you're like, I'm I think I'm being radically honest. I've tracked my food for a few days. To get a little more honest, I'm not under eating and over eating. I'm not under eating during the day and overeating at night. I'm making a plan. I'm getting better at making a plan and sticking to it. I'm getting better at understanding my emotionally eating. It's possible your body might need more time to acclimate to a new weight. It's possible that after a lifelong journey of dieting and going all in on a diet where you've taken away all flour, all sugar, all alcohol, and you've seen that scale go lower, lower, lower, lower, most weeks, and now you're trying to not do it that way anymore. It's possible that your weight is going to be coming off a little slower. Can that be okay? It's not fun, but can that be okay? Can it be okay that your body needs a little more time to drop weight? Can it be okay that you're making this new way of living, not about three fucking numbers on a scale? We still want to be radically honest, we still want to understand our emotionally eating. We still want to get good at making a plan. We still want to become the next version of ourselves. But in that process, can we decide that a black or silver scale that has three digits is not going to define us? Is it possible? Here's another way to look at it. Is it possible that you're seeing other changes. So is it possible you're feeling better in your body? Is it possible you're sleeping better at night? Is it possible you're starting to feel more in control? Is it possible you're closed? Did I already say this one your clothes are feeling better. You're feeling like your bra is a little bit looser. You're feeling like when you put your hand on your waist, you're feeling a little more of of of your muscles, possibly, or does it feel like when you're putting your hands on your waist, you're feeling like there's less waste there? Is it possible you're feeling like you have more energy? You're feeling like your sinuses feel better? Is it possible your cravings feel a little more in control? Are people telling you, God, you look great? Are you wearing a pair of jeans you haven't worn in 10 years? I cannot tell you how many coaching calls I've had with my beautiful, wonderful clients, where they have come and they're upset about the scale, and I get it, but then in the next breath, they tell me they're wearing a pair of jeans they have not worn in 10 years. So is it possible? We need to look at other things happening in our life. This is a more modern way to look at weight loss, a more. Modern way to look at health. Yes, the scale is important in some ways. It does give us a reading of where we're going, but can it take a little longer, and can that be okay? I hope this podcast was exactly what you needed right now, not to give yourself a break, but to double down, to realize that the scale is just a tool. It's not the end all be all. This is your opportunity to start really looking at the scale differently. Here's one thing I tell my clients that I'm going to share with you a little, a little bonus for you before you step on the scale. As opposed to just throwing your robe off and stepping on there, take a moment and talk to yourself. Take a moment and talk to yourself and say, okay, in the past, what we've done is we've stepped on this scale, and we have literally made it determine our happiness. Are we going to be happy, or are we going to be sad based on three numbers? What if it didn't have that much power over you? What if you stepped on the scale and the number made you feel a little bit happy, a little bit happy. What if you stepped on the scale and the number made you go, ah, but then you allowed yourself to say, what do I want to make this mean? And when you take a moment to be a little more intentional before you step on the scale, you have more control over the scale. It doesn't mean you step on the scale, and if the number is not where you want it to be, you're like, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. You push any negative emotion down you want to acknowledge? Okay, I'm a little disappointed. I'm a little disappointed because I'm telling myself that this, these numbers mean something about me. But what if I wanted to decide in advance what the numbers are going to mean? What if I decide this is just information? What if I decide I'm going to have an amazing day and this is my plan for my eating and my health and my wellness today, whatever the number is. So take a pause before you step on that scale, girlfriend, and for the first time in your life, what if you decided that this this number is not going to derail me? Here's the problem when we step on the scale and it does not make us happy, and we feel a negative emotion. A lot of times we give up in that moment. We get the fuck it's we're like, I've been trying so hard, and the scale is not making me happy, so fuck it, I might as well eat all the things. Doesn't always happen, but often that does happen. What if you didn't let that happen? Because you're acknowledging the other wins. You're acknowledging your efforts. You're getting a little more radically honest. You're figuring this out. And in the end, the number is not that important. It's just one way that it tells us how we're doing, how we're making progress. I hope this one was a powerful one for you. I would love for you to subscribe so then you get any new episodes. Sometimes, every once in a while, I come out with a bonus episode for you, and so if you subscribe to the podcast, you will be notified when that episode pops up. I hope you have a lovely Tuesday for information on how we can work together. Head to modern body, modern life. Calm to schedule a consultation with me. I'm currently coaching women privately, and I offer group coaching programs. I.