The Balance Between Joy and Growth. Why I Teach 2 Things That Seem to Contradict Each Other

In this episode, I'm diving into a question that my husband recently asked me... and it's one that gets to the heart of so much of the work I teach. 

If our thoughts and feelings create our results... and we should intentionally focus on feeling better, thinking better thoughts, and creating more joy in our lives... then why do I also teach that growth requires discomfort?

Which is it?

In this episode, I break down two powerful philosophies that have shaped my own life and coaching.

We explore the teachings of Abraham Hicks and the importance of alignment, appreciation, joy, and intentionally creating positive emotions.

And we also explore the idea that lasting change, sustainable weight loss, emotional eating awareness, and personal growth often require us to be willing to feel uncomfortable emotions instead of avoiding them.

I talk about why so many women struggle with consistency, self-sabotage, emotional eating, and following through on their goals... not because they don't know what to do, but because they are trying to avoid feelings like boredom, uncertainty, disappointment, or urges.

This episode will help you understand how to use both concepts together.

How to create a compelling vision for your future while also developing the emotional resilience to navigate the journey.

Because permanent weight loss, confidence, self-trust, and creating a life you love aren't built through struggle alone... and they aren't built by avoiding discomfort either.

They're built by learning when to lean into joy... and when to lean into courage.

If you've ever felt stuck between wanting to feel good and wanting to grow, this episode will give you a completely new perspective on what it takes to create lasting results in your body and your life.

~Courtney

Interested in working with me?  I currently support women in private coaching and inside my Aligned Life Membership... helping them create lasting changes in their eating, daily habits, mindset, confidence, and overall life.  Click HERE for all the details

Transcript

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Paul, welcome to Modern Body, Modern Life, the podcast for women who want to feel powerful, healthy, strong, and confident inside and out at every age. On this podcast, we talk about becoming a woman who is fully in control of her eating and movement, so weight loss, strength, and energy become permanent. We also talk about something bigger, becoming the woman who takes her deepest desires seriously and goes after more in every area of her life. I'm Body and Life Coach Courtney Gray, and I believe you can get in the best shape of your life at any age, and when you do, it becomes a catalyst for

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your relationships, your confidence, your joy, because when you feel like you and your body, all of life gets better. Let's get started. Welcome to the podcast, episode 135 The balance between joy and growth, and why I teach two things that seem to contradict each other. So, first, let me say, this podcast is going to be a little bit advanced. There are two podcasts that, if you have not listened to these yet, I almost want you to pause this one and go listen to those first. So, episode 96 is a podcast called The Coaching Tool That Will Change Your Life, and then there's episode.. ooh, let me find it.. 34 and it is called, Which discomfort are you choosing? If you would stop this and go listen to those first, this one is going to be so much more powerful for you. I'm really excited about this podcast, because this was not what I had intended to record a podcast for you today on this lovely Friday morning, I'd intended to record another podcast, but then I had the most amazing thing happen last night. So, let me start this powerful podcast off with a story. So, for many years, I've been telling my husband, you know, when you're on long drives and road trips, you should listen to inspiring books on tape, you, you know, he used to listen to Howard Stern all the time, and I've never been a huge fan of Howard Stern. He doesn't really listen to him anymore, but I used to say you should be flooding your mind with positive things that make you inspired and make you grow, and just, you know, I think that that would be my advice for him. And my husband is an avid reader, like he reads more than most people all these inspirational books by coaches and athletes, and all the things, so he loves, he loves learning, and he loves growing, and he loves thought work, and he's totally into what I do, and in all the things, but I challenged him with that, like, how, when you're on long road trips, you should really listen, so he had him, and I together have been listening to a lot of Joe Dispenza, we've been listening to a lot of Brooke Castillo, and I sent him the other day, probably like a few weeks ago. I sent him a podcast on Abraham Hicks, which was very new to him. It was very new to him, and I'm going to talk a little bit about who Abraham Hicks is in a moment, just give you a little snapshot. So, anyways, we were out to dinner last night, and all of a sudden he goes, I've got something I want to ask you, and he said, I hear you teaching two concepts that seem like they kind of contradict each other, and I literally energetically and physically leaned forward and said, Tell me, this is the kind of shit I love talking about, and I said, Tell me, and he says, I know you teach the model, which, that's episode 96 you're going to learn the model. He goes, I know you teach the model, which, like, tells us, like, our thoughts and our feelings matter, like, we have to be living in positive thoughts to be in positive feelings, and we need to think intentionally, we need to know that circumstances are neutral, and our perspectives matter, all of that, right. And then that is going to help us like take different action and create better results in our lives. He goes, "I get all that. He knows the model very well, and he says, "But I also hear you talk about how in order to go to our next level we must, you know, have to be willing to feel negative emotions, and I'm like, "Yes, and he goes, "Kind of goes, so which is it, and I think I might have told him I've never loved him more. I mean, like, I was like, I mean, this is like the best dinner conversation ever, and the fact that this is coming from my husband, I mean, he's very emotionally intelligent and so interested in anything I'm interested in talking about, but it just was so cool. It took, it took our conversation to a different level, because if I ever said, 'Can I tell you something I learned from Abraham Hicks, or 'Can I tell you something I really learned at a deeper level from Joe Dispenza, he's always like, 'Yes, tell me, and he'll ask questions, he's engaged, but for us just to be sitting there talking about the kids, and for him to bring this up, oh my god, I fell in love with him, like 10% more. Okay, so which is it? Which is it? I remember one time being coached by my coach, who I love and adore, and I remember this was years ago when I was talking about my business and my fears and, and my worry, and all these different things, and she really, within a five minute coaching call, she. Said two things that were quite contradicting. On the one hand, she said, "Courtney, the only reason you're scared is because you're having thoughts that are producing fear, and that's what's keeping you from moving forward. You're having thoughts like, what if this doesn't work out? What if I can't do it? I don't know exactly what to do. Those are making you feel fear and insecurity, and that's why you're not moving as quickly as you'd like to totally makes so much sense, right? Just like I said again, episode 96 our thoughts matter, and so we want to make sure we're choosing our thoughts on purpose. Beautiful, but then at the very end she switched, she kind of, in a way, we kind of, in a way, contradicted herself and said, but yeah, this is scary shit, and this was these are my words, but she basically said, yeah, you're doing something most people will not do. You're this was when I was thinking of leaving my jewelry business behind, and she was like, uh, yeah, most people will never do something like this in their life. Most people are going to deliver a status quo life because this is going to take feeling negative emotions that most people are not willing to feel, so which is it? Am I supposed to be having good thoughts, having good emotions, or am I supposed to be willing to feel the negative emotions? Can you see how they kind of contradict each other? Can you see how this is kind of a more nuanced, deeper level conversation, so here's like an iteration of what I told my husband when I was like, yes, let's talk about this, I said, here's how I think both of these concepts interplay, I said growth is hard, it is going to be hard if you are going to go to your next level in any area of your life. If you want to eat better, make more money, have more powerful conversations, live a bigger life, in terms of whatever that looks like to you, make a big change, do something different, start to trust yourself. I could go on and on. If we're going to do any of that, it is going to take you being willing to get uncomfortable. Now, the word uncomfortable doesn't sound that bad. Uncomfortable sounds like a slight headache, not a full migraine. But what I would rather you think of is when I say uncomfortable, I'm talking about the full migraine. You're going to have feelings that you've possibly, in the past, never been willing to feel, because in the past you possibly haven't been willing to go to the next level, and even if, even if you're sitting there and you're thinking, I really want to lose 10 pounds, there is going to be a part of you that is going to have to be willing to feel uncomfortable in ways you have not been willing to feel in the past, and that's why you have 10 pounds to lose, not from a place of shame, but from a place of let's get uncomfortable. At the same time, you must then have to have positive thoughts and feelings about getting uncomfortable, so it really is the inner play of both, and I'm going to dive into and give you more examples, but that's what I told my husband, it is both. Yes, we must be willing to feel negative emotion in pursuit of what we truly desire, and then at the same time we need to say I can handle this, and I can reframe all of the discomfort in a way that actually makes it less uncomfortable, so it sounds like we're saying two different things, but I'm hoping that by the end of this podcast you realize, oh, I can see how I can use them both in my life again. Episode 96 the coaching tool that will change your life. It teaches you the model. It teaches you that your thoughts and feelings are so important because they drive our action. And when I say action, I mean when we are thinking and feeling in a way that is lined up more positively. We probably take different action during the day. We do what we say we're going to do. We live in a way that is more aligned, and then that creates a better result for us. We end up getting closer to our goals. This is very much in line with what Abraham Hicks teaches, and I love Abraham Hicks. Abraham Hicks teaches that the universe is like ruled, governed by the law of attraction, this principle that like attracts like, so we create our own reality based on our dominant, most thought feelings. If we were to synthesize what Abraham Hicks teaches, it really is like the purpose of life is joy. We're meant to have a very joyful, free, positive feelings vibe life, love it. Also, I think if we're going to synthesize, it's like focusing on feeling good, that we all at any moment have the opportunity to focus on feeling good, consistently thinking thoughts and creating thoughts that bring us relief. Beef and more positive emotions, and Abraham really focuses that this is more important than taking like forced physical action, like this is more important to be in alignment than to be doing all the right things. I love me some Abraham Hicks, but again, what seems to contrast is episode 34 of the Modern Body Modern Life podcast. It's all about which discomfort are you choosing. The concept is like there will be discomfort either way, that you might as well choose the discomfort that is going to get you what you want, get you the body and life you want. This is very.. if I had to think of my husband, actually said this last night, and he says it's almost like you teach Abraham Hicks, but you also teach David Goggins, and I'm like, oh my god, I love that so much. So David Goggins teaches that anyone can overcome their past of like trauma and poverty and doubt, but he talks about like extreme accountability, like relentless discipline, like mental toughness. If you listen to David Goggins, even for a few minutes, he cusses way more than I do. He's extremely intense, and he's definitely not everybody's vibe. I love him. I'm like, "Let's go. He, like, totally fires me up. He totally fires me up. But again, I like to balance it with Abraham Hicks, and so his, like, core philosophy. It is like the idea that, like, humans only use a very small portion of their potential, and true growth only begins when you embrace discomfort. He really talks about embracing discomfort and suffering. He really believes that comfort is the enemy of growth. He believes to achieve extraordinary results, you must seek out difficult situations instead of avoiding them. I love both. I teach both, and I do realize it seems, as I've laid it out, contradictory. So that's why we're here. That's why I decided to create this podcast, because last night, when my husband and I were talking about it together, we really started saying, "Here's what I think. He said, "Here's what I think, and we really, really came to this beautiful conclusion, which I already shared with you, but I want to dive even deeper. I think the magic in understanding both concepts, and the magic in really listening to both of those podcasts, maybe listening to a little Abraham Hicks, listening to a little David Goggins, is seeing which one serves you. So, let's dive into these both of them, even more. Maybe you don't need to go and Google them. Maybe I can just help you understand both of them at a deeper level here. So, the essence, if we're going to say, of Abraham Hicks is, is that your emotional state matters when you are frustrated, or having doubt, or desperate, or sad, or controlling. Abraham Hicks teaches that you're disconnected from your inner being. It's almost a little bit like the negative emotions are bad in a way. If I was just like being very, very like teaching Abraham Hicks 101 Now I know Abraham Hicks, I'm sure, wouldn't say that, but that is the vibe, is that you want to be in the positive feelings, so instead of feeling frustrated, desperate, all those negative feelings, what you need to do, Abraham Hicks says, is like, focus on feeling good now, look for appreciation and gratitude, follow your inspiration, trust the unfolding is something that Abraham Hicks would say, you know, stop pushing so hard, spend less time focusing on the problem, and on instead focus on like the potential, the future, and the goal really is alignment. And Abraham Hicks says that when you are aligned, then you will get more clarity, then you will get more creativity, then you will be more confident, and you will get better results. Now, all of this sounds so lovely, but I have to say, from coaching hundreds of women on all different things - in fact, men and women on all different things, all different things they want in their lives, anything from weight loss to connecting with their husband to clarity to living a bigger life to making more money, coaching on all the different things. I think more often than not, most people could use a little bit more creating and allowing discomfort David Goggins in their life, especially women. Yes, I'm saying it, although some people might not love that I'm saying that, especially women. I think that if we are going to choose one or the other, I think if for you to achieve what you want, it is more often likely that we need to go. More David Goggin style, more of the style of being willing to feel discomfort, and I think the reason is, is because it really goes against our programming. Our programming is to seek comfort, so if you think about it, our programming is naturally leaning towards Abraham Hicks, and so some people would say, well, if that's our programming, maybe that's intuitive, maybe that's innate for us, but I think for many people we are seeing that that is not really creating the happiness that we want, all that is doing is in the moment creating relief and happiness, but overall I think many people are living in a lot of discomfort, so let's break down a little bit more the idea of choosing your discomfort on purpose. It seems to contradict what I just taught you from Abraham Hicks, but it's the belief that negative emotions are not dangerous. Most people spend their lives avoiding the discomfort of negative emotions, and because they do that, they overeat, they over drink, they procrastinate, they people please, and they keep quitting on themselves, which, because they are avoiding the discomfort in every little moment of their day, they're creating much more discomfort in their overall life, so it's not that they don't know what to do, but they don't want to feel the negative emotion, they don't want to feel disappointment, boredom, rejection, uncertainty, that's a big one. People don't want to feel uncertainty, they don't want to feel failure, they don't want to feel sadness, shame, vulnerability. So, the idea of being willing to feel negative emotion to get to your next level. What that really teaches us is you can feel uncomfortable and still move forward. You don't need to avoid negative emotion. It really teaches us that discomfort is the price of growth, and you have to remember when it comes to discomfort, we are so avoiding discomfort in the moment because we are not willing to feel discomfort in a little moment by not eating an extra cookie or not having an extra glass of wine, we are avoiding that discomfort, but that is having us create more discomfort in our whole entire life. It was so great this week. We had our first live coaching call in the Aligned Life membership. It was so fun. I was like vibrating for hours after the call. It was just an absolutely wonderful call, and one of the beautiful women in the membership emailed me this, the sweetest email, afterwards about how excited she is to be in the membership, and she told me why she joined, and everything, and I had told a story to the women in the membership on the call about how I think it was, was it a few weeks ago, I can't remember, I can't remember the whole story, but I, in one moment, I told the story about how I made cookies for my kids, and I didn't have any. I had had dessert the night before, and I just.. I had decided that I wasn't going to have dessert that night, but then my, my one of my boys asked me, so I made cookies, and I didn't have any. And in this email to me, she said, I have to admit, it made me sad to hear you say you didn't have any cookies, so I'm really excited to go deeper on this on our next call in the membership. So, ladies, if you're, if you're in the membership, strap in. We're going to talk all about discomfort. There is a moment when you're not eating the thing that discomfort comes up, especially in the beginning when you've never really done this before, and you're getting used to literally feeling the discomfort of not having a second portion, feeling the discomfort of not having a second glass of wine, feeling the discomfort of having told yourself that after dinner you're not going to go back into the kitchen, and there is discomfort, there is especially in the beginning sadness in that moment, sometimes even anger people get angry in that moment, but when you get really good at saying this is a little sad in this moment, I feel like it's not fair that I'm making cookies and not having one. Most people would say that's bullshit, right? It's not fair, but when you get good at saying yeah, it feels not fair, the night would be so much more fun if I allowed myself to have this cookie, but by being willing in that moment, for what, like an hour, two hours, to feel that negative sadness, anger, whatever it is in the moment, then what happens is you get better and better and better at feeling discomfort for a short period of time, an hour, two hours, that discomfort starts to get easier and easier and easier. It starts to become no big deal, starts to become a self-concept, because you're like, oh, I can do this, I, yeah, I'm a little sad. It probably would be a little more fun if I ate cookies, but then what happens is your life as a whole starts to become more comfortable, more fantastic. Stick more empowering, more aligned in the moment. It was such a beautiful.. I'm so glad she gave me such a gift by emailing me and having that one little sentence in the email. I grabbed that sentence, I'm like, and this is going to be what I'm teaching on the next call, because so many people feel this way. So many people feel like I'm sad in this moment if I'm not having that thing, and because they're unwilling to feel that sadness, they eat the thing anyways. But then what happens is, is in this two hour block, I'm not willing to feel sad. But then, as I go about my whole life, I don't like the way I feel. I don't like how much I'm thinking about food. I'm not fitting in my clothes. I'm not as healthy as I want to be. I can't move like I want to move. I'm always telling myself I'm going to do something, and I don't trust myself to follow through. And I could go on and on. Can you hear how much discomfort that is created, and that discomfort is carried around with us all day. So, yes, to the woman who wrote that to me in the moment years ago, in the moment when I'm the first time I ever made cookies for my kids, and I didn't have one, I was sad, and it didn't feel good. It kind of sucked, but now I can do it, and I'm not sad at all. I can be very empowered, and my whole life is so much better. I'm feeling so much more comfort in my life, because every once in a while, for a few minutes, I'm like, fuck, I want a cookie, maybe I should just, maybe I should just get in, and I hold strong, and the other thing I want to just say, really quickly, is, is when I say I can make cookies for my kids and not have one, it doesn't mean that I didn't have one the day before, it doesn't mean that I didn't have something delicious for dinner, so this isn't total restriction here. I'm not saying don't ever eat cookies, I'm saying in that moment make a decision, and in that moment allow yourself some, some a little bit of sadness. So, can you hear the vibe of what I'm saying? Is I'm willing to feel sad a little bit in the moment sometimes to stick to my plan, and my thoughts about it are very Abraham Hicks. So, for example, it's a very David Goggins way for me to go. I want to look and feel a certain way. I am going to eat in a way that I'm aligned, and you know what? In the moment, I might feel a little sad about it. Let's go. So I'm David Goggins in that way, and I'm Abraham Hicks in the way that I'm looking at all that, and I'm saying, Courtney, well done. You're creating a life that's really easy for you. And from that space, I cannot worry about things. I can realize that when I make a mistake, I can give myself a break. I can talk to myself nicely. I can actually feel a little discomfort and put that in the circumstance line. I'm a little uncomfortable, and I'm telling myself that I'm sad that I can't have a cookie. What do I want to think about that? What I want to think is this is not a problem. How great is it that I get to choose the way I think, and when I have that powerful thought about some negative emotion I'm choosing to experience, I feel empowered, and that affects my action, and that affects my result. So, I hope you're staying with me. This is a little bit deeper than I normally go on the podcast, but I'm hoping that you're really resonating with it, because we need to find the sweet spot of using both concepts in our life. You must know what you need more of. I love thinking of using a more Abraham Hicks thought model type of thinking to create a vision for yourself to really believe big things are possible, believe that life can be joyful, believe that, like, you can do a hard thing and have joy while you're doing it, and then use more, like David Goggins, kind of feeling discomfort on purpose to handle when you're in the journey of doing the hard thing, allowing yourself to feel that negative emotion. One of the things I told my husband is, I said, you know, if we look at a full day, I love to use like the whole thought model, think positive Abraham Hicks type of thinking in the morning, you've got this big things are coming. You're making an impact. This is so amazing. I'm so grateful, all of that. And then, in the middle of my day, I'm like, let's go, let's do the hard things, let's be the woman we want to be, let's have some, a little bit of insecurity, and let's do it anyways. Let's have some.. I'm not sure what to do. Let's make powerful decisions and allow those negative feelings anyways. And then I end the day back to my Abraham Hicks, back to my I'm so proud of myself. That didn't go quite well, but that's okay. We need to reframe it and think positively. So thinking positively helps you focus on positive. Ability, but understanding that there's going to be discomfort that you need to feel helps you navigate the realities of doing the work, helps you get out there and lift heavy weights, it helps you eat the things that you know are healthy for you, not eat the things that aren't healthy for you, have powerful conversations, even when they feel hard, thinking positive thoughts and feeling positive emotions helps you really remember that life is supposed to feel good and that you should feel proud of yourself, but then also allowing discomfort helps you stop running away from every emotion that gets in the way between you and your goals, so let's break this down into a weight loss example. So, if we're only thinking about, like, choosing positive thoughts, Abraham Hicks, joy is most important, alignment is the most important. You might have the thought, like, I should only do what feels good, I'm only going to really, like, I'm going to just focus on feeling aligned, feeling joyful, only like do what feels good, eat what feels good, allow my body to tell me what to do, but then sometimes what we do in that moment is we avoid feeling hunger, which sometimes if you've been in a pattern of eating more food than your body needs, when you start feeling hunger, that feels uncomfortable, and sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes you need to reprogram your body. Hey, we've been eating too much, we don't need all this food, so hunger is a natural consequence of that. So, if you're thinking, I'm only doing what feels good, you might be like avoiding hunger, you might be avoiding feeling any kind of urge for food, like you have an urge and you're like, oh, I have an urge for food, I must eat right now, because we have to feel good, and maybe you're going to avoid discipline, maybe you're going to avoid creating any kind of protocol for yourself, or any kind of plan for yourself, and so you can see how that alone, just thinking I'm going to be in the positive, I'm going to be in the positive, I'm going to choose positive, I'm going to be grateful, that might not work alone, but let's think about the, the okay, you have to be willing to feel discomfort version, the more David Goggins type of version, and let's do that. What does that sound like? That's like, I just need more discipline. That's like everything should be hard, everything feels like work. Neither one of these is good on its own, and you need to decide for you what you need more of. Again, I think most people, especially most women, need a little bit more choosing discomfort on purpose, feeling the discomfort of wanting something in the moment and not having it, and it feels uncomfortable in your body, but there are some of you, I believe a smaller portion of you, in fact, I can think of a few women in the membership specifically, where you're pretty dialed, you're pretty good at pushing yourself, you're pretty good at showing up for yourself, maybe you've been doing this work with me for a long time, and maybe you need to evaluate, do I need to be in a little bit more joy, be in a little bit more alignment, be in a little bit more, can I trust myself in the moment to maybe make a different decision and support myself with that decision. Something to remember is we all have like energetic baseline. What that means is like we all have emotions that we go back to on the regular. We all, we all have stories that we tell ourselves on the regular. We all have emotions that we, that we feel on on the regular. And if you are the type of person that has been pushing themselves to really think new things, feel discomfort, go all in, not give yourself any excuses, really listen to your primitive brain, and you're seeing the success of that amazing, but it's possible for you, you might need to really lean into feeling the feelings of pride and joy and peace and receiving, and I believe if you're listening to this podcast, you know right now what you need more of. So ask yourself right now, if I had to choose right now just by listening to this podcast that that I've delivered to you so far, what do you need more of? Do you need more really telling yourself, we're doing a really good job. We need to just appreciate ourself more. We need to look in the mirror and go, God, we're looking really great. What can we appreciate more? Wow, can we like allow ourselves a rest day? Are we actually resting? Can we create a protocol, like a workout protocol, but then all of a sudden, if we show up for that workout, and we are feeling like, you know, what, I just don't know, is I think that this might be a little too much for me. Can we trust ourself to say, you know what, I think we need a day, I think we need to just feel good feelings and not give ourselves a hard time. Do you. Need more of that, or do you need more? I need to be willing to feel the negative emotion and stick to my plan. I know, I think I believe that you know right now in your heart what you need most of, and I believe most of you need to feel more discomfort. But one thing I teach in my membership, and I teach in my coaching programs. Is there's not one message for every person, and that's one thing that can be really confusing in the world of, like, social media - everyone's an expert. You hear one thing, and you're like, oh, maybe I should do that. You hear something else, oh well, maybe that contradicts, maybe I should do that. And, of course, everyone is saying, I'm the expert, this is exactly what you need to do in order to get the results you want, and so it can be very confusing. You need to really be onto yourself and trust yourself to say, what do I think I need a little more of, because I think most of you that are listening to this podcast, I think you're like me, and I think you want to create a healthy body that feels amazing, and we need to back that thought with, and I'm willing to feel a little discomfort and urges, and a little bit fear, insecurity, sadness along the way in order to create a healthy, amazing feeling body and life. Life is not about avoiding negative emotions. If you want to reach your goal in any area, you're going to have to be willing to feel negative emotion, but also life is not about living in the struggle, and I think for many, many women who have been dieting and hearing messages about body and what they're capable of and what they should be doing and the contradicting of all of it, I think that for a lot of women they feel like it has been a struggle for a long time. I don't want you to hear, oh, you need to struggle more because you need to feel negative emotion. What I want you to hear is let's drop the struggle, but let's in the moment feel a little bit more negative emotion, so we don't have the struggle overall. I'm going to say that again in another way, because again, this is very kind of nuanced, so I think that we can all struggle less if we actually, in the moment, moment to moment, as we go throughout our day, if we allow ourselves to feel a little bit of negative emotion in order to struggle overall less. When I think back to me, like 10 years ago, I would wake every time I talk about this, it makes me start wanting to cry, because, because it was such a fucking struggle. I would wake up in the morning, and I would start thinking about dessert while I drank my coffee. I was living in struggle all the time. I didn't like how I looked, I didn't like how I felt in my clothes, I didn't like thinking about food all the time, I didn't like telling myself there was something wrong with me. Yet in every little moment throughout the day, when I ate the biscotti, and I ate the pudding, and I ate the this, and I didn't go for a run, because I didn't want to injure myself, and I was getting older, and I shouldn't be running, and had all these little in the moments, I wasn't willing to feel discomfort in the moment, I wanted to feel positive. I wanted to feel aligned, but overall I was not feeling positive. I was not feeling aligned. Overall, my life was a struggle. And I'll tell you right now, in my life, every once in a while it's a struggle. Every once while I sit there and I'm like, uh, I want the cookie. You know what? Maybe I should have a glass of wine, maybe I should join the party, and I'll have a moment, maybe an hour, maybe two hours, and in that moment I'm allowing the struggle, and then I leave that restaurant, or I go to bed, and I get back into the non struggle of my life. My life overall, right now, is so much more free than it ever was, so I'm willing to have little moments of struggle and an overall amazing better life. The goal is learning which moments are asking you to feel a little bit of negative emotion and which moments are asking you to feel joy, and to feel that this can be easy. Sometimes the most aligned joy easy way of doing things is allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable in the moment, and trust yourself to follow through anyway, so before I let you go, please know that we started the Aligned Life membership on june 10. That was our first call, but for now doors are open. Please come join us. When you join, you're automatically going to get the replay of calls that have passed, and you're going to get. To be able to start coming to all of the calls in the future, and you're going to get the courses, immediate access to the courses as well. So, I've had a few people email me and say, "Oh my god, I missed it. You missed nothing, girl, you missed nothing. Please join us. You are going to love this group of women. You're going to love this program, and I can't wait to see you inside the Aligned Life membership. Have a lovely Tuesday. For information on how we can work together, head to Modern Body Modern life.com to schedule a consultation with me. I'm currently coaching women privately, and I offer group coaching programs.