31. How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt: Protect Your Energy & Prioritize Yourself

Struggling to set boundaries without feeling guilty? You’re not alone! In this episode of The Nurses’ Breakroom with Jenny Lytle, RN, we’re diving into why boundaries matter, how to stop saying yes out of obligation, and simple strategies to protect your time and energy without guilt.

You'll learn:
✔ Why boundaries are essential for preventing burnout and resentment.
✔ 3 simple strategies to set limits (without feeling selfish).
✔ How to respond with confidence when you need to say no.
✔ The power of scheduling self-care like any other important commitment.

Your time and energy are valuable—protect them. Listen now and take the first step toward healthier boundaries!

📩 Have a takeaway or a question? Leave a message in Buzzsprout or email me at jennylytle@jennylytle.com—I’d love to hear from you!

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:29

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Nurse's Breakroom with Jenny Lytle RN. Today we're diving into a topic that many of us struggle with, and that is setting boundaries without guilt. Have you ever said yes to something that you didn't want to do just to avoid disappointing someone? Or maybe you've agreed to take on extra work, even when you were already stretched too thin? You're not alone, and today we're going to talk about how to protect your time and your energy without feeling bad about it. First of all, why do boundaries even matter? When we say yes to everything, then we often end up burned out and resentful and exhausted, and boundaries aren't about pushing people away. They're about making sure that you have enough energy for what really matters. You know, the reality is we only have so much time and so much energy, and when we say yes to things out of guilt or obligation or because we don't want to disappoint someone, then what we're really doing is saying no to other things that maybe are more important to others and to us. And I know that boundaries are definitely something that I have struggled with and sometimes still do, because I am the type of person that I want to please people. I want people to like me. Now I care less about that than I used to, and that's not because I care any less about people, but really because I feel like I care about them more and I care about myself more and I value my own time more, because I know I only have so much bandwidth and because I went through a pretty dark place where I had horrible boundaries, where I really struggled with my own self worth and figuring out exactly who I was and what mattered most to me, and so I've done the work to figure those things out and to get more clear on where my priorities are, and that means that sometimes I do need to say no. So a few simple boundary setting strategies, especially for those of us who struggle with that. So the first one is just pause before you say yes, instead of an automatic yes when someone says, hey, could you do this for me or could you help out in this particular situation? Or even if it's something like do you want to get together for lunch on Wednesday? Before you automatically say yes, either because it's something that you feel like you should say, or out of guilt or a sense of obligation, or even if it's something that you just think, oh my gosh, yes, of course I want to do that. That sounds fun. I'd love to catch up with you, even if it's something that you just think, oh my gosh, yes, of course I want to do that. That sounds fun. I'd love to catch up with you. Pause and try something like let me check my schedule and get back to you For me personally, I am somebody that wants to do everything.

Speaker 1: 3:54

I would like to. I'd like to be able to help everybody, but I want to do all these fun things too and have these new experiences. But again, there's only so many hours in a day, and so, looking at my schedule, taking a step back out of the excitement of the moment and being able to really, like take a look at the big picture, let me look at my day, my week, my month and see, like, can I really fit in anything else now? And just taking that step back and giving yourself a little bit of time to really reflect on is this the best thing for me right now Can make all the difference.

Speaker 1: 4:37

So a second thing that you can do is use clear language, but kind language, you know. You don't have to just say no, even though no is a complete sentence. You can just say no, but a lot of us aren't really comfortable with that. There are certain situations where I feel like I can just say no, and there lot of us aren't really comfortable with that. There are certain situations where I feel like I can just say no, and there are other ones where it's not that I owe an explanation, but I know if the situation were reversed, especially if it's something that someone really needs some help or really is looking forward to, this time I do like to offer a bit more than that. So instead of just saying no or I can't, maybe you could say something like I'd love to, but I don't have the capacity right now, and that's something that is that's hard to argue with when someone is upfront and honest about where they are mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, whatever that may be. Just, I can't do that. And if somebody is trying to challenge that when you're setting those type of boundaries, then that's kind of another issue with them.

Speaker 1: 5:50

And the third thing is check in with yourself, paying attention to the things that leave you drained, those people that you kind of feel exhausted around. Those are likely areas where you need stronger boundaries, and I know that that can be an additional challenge when there are people that are close to us, but when we have better boundaries in place, then we're more able to enjoy the time that we do have with those people. We're able to enjoy the moments that we have and the events that we do say yes to, because we're not exhausted and we're not rushing off to the next thing. So something else that I like to do myself and like to encourage my clients to do is to block off time in your calendar. When you look and you realize, okay, you know what in your calendar.

Speaker 1: 6:55

When you look and you realize, okay, you know what, I've got a lot of things going on and I've got maybe some big projects coming or I just I know that I need some breathing room, I need some margin in my calendar. So I like to schedule time with myself and have those self care or stress relieving activities scheduled in my calendar and I try to keep those like I would an appointment with somebody else, because I matter as much, if not more, than other people do, and I'm not saying that from a selfish standpoint, I'm saying that from a I know what I am going through. I know what I need to do to take care of myself, and when I don't do that then I can't show up in the way that I want to for other people and so blocking that time off. And then that also gives you the ability to say you know what I would love to help out, but I'm already booked up. And you are booked up because those times with yourself, those times when you have that downtime, matters.

Speaker 1: 7:58

So your self-care shift for this week think of an area, just one area, where you feel overextended. And what is one small shift that you could make to set a boundary? And I would love to hear from you, I'd love to know that Now with Buzzsprout, you can just reply to the episode. There's a button where you can just message and you know, I'd love it if you'd do that and to hear your thoughts on where is something that you could make a little bit of a shift there. So if today's episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you'd share it with a friend who needs to hear this message. And don't forget your time and energy are valuable. Protect them. And self-care isn't selfish. It's essential if we want to continue to care for others and live our best lives, and part of that is setting boundaries. I'll see you next time.