The Nurses' Breakroom with Jenny Lytle, RN

33. Trusting the Nudge: Lessons from My First Keynote & the Reality of Women's Struggles

• Jenny Lytle. RN

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In this episode of The Nurses' Breakroom with Jenny Lytle, RN, I share my experience of stepping into the unknown—delivering my first keynote speech for International Women’s Day. From an unexpected opportunity to the challenges of preparing for a high-stakes talk, I dive into the importance of following those inner nudges (or "God nudges") and embracing discomfort for growth.

This episode also sheds light on the deeper realities women face, including shocking statistics about gender inequality, leadership gaps in healthcare, and the devastating impact of domestic violence. I open up about my own past experience with an abusive relationship and the life-threatening dangers many women unknowingly face.

Key Takeaways & Action Steps:

✔️ Trust the Nudge – Whether you call it intuition or divine guidance, leaning into discomfort often leads to growth.
✔️ Women in Healthcare – 75% of healthcare workers are women, yet only 28% hold leadership roles. Let's change that.
✔️ The Overload Crisis – 72% of women feel too overwhelmed to prioritize their own health. It's time to shift that narrative.
✔️ The Hidden Danger of Strangulation – A shocking fact: if a partner has strangled a woman even once, her risk of being murdered by that partner increases by 750%.
✔️ Support for Domestic Violence Survivors – Help is available. See the resources below.

Domestic Violence Resources

If you or someone you know needs support, here are confidential, 24/7 resources:

📞 The National Domestic Violence Hotline

  • Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
  • Text: "Start" to 88788
  • Chat via website: thehotline.org

📞 Love is Respect (Teen Dating Violence Help)

📞 RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) Sexual Assault Hotline

💬 Have you ever followed a gut instinct that changed your life? Let’s discuss! Connect with me on social media or at JennyLytle.com.

📢 If this episode resonates with you, please share it with a friend, leave a review, and help spread awareness!

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle



Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Nurse's Breakroom with Jenny Lytle-Arien. Today is going to be a little bit different because we just celebrated International Women's Day, and that is annually on March the 8th, and this year was the first time that I was involved in anything planned and structured for the day, and it was actually the day of my first keynote speech as well. So that was exciting and it was a situation where I feel like there was a lot of things that aligned. I felt a God prompting to reach out to someone that was organizing our local International Women's Day, and it was someone, actually, that I didn't know, but I had seen where she was connecting with someone else about this woman's event and I didn't even know exactly what it was. And then we ended up meeting in a networking event a couple of days later and I went up and I talked to her and she was like, oh my gosh, I'd love you to do a you know, a workshop and all of that. And so I thought, well, that'd be great. You know, I mean a self-care workshop for International Women's Day. You know we definitely need it Day. You know we definitely need it.

Speaker 1:

But then, a little bit later that day I was just feeling this nudge to throw my hat in the ring for the keynote speech, and I was very transparent with her. I said it's not something that I've ever done before, but I, you know, I'd have a couple of months to prepare and I feel like I could do it. And you know, I'd have a couple of months to prepare and I feel like I could do it and and all of that. And there were a couple other people that were experienced, that were already in the works for potentially doing that, and so I knew that, that you know that it wasn't very likely that that was going to happen, but it was something that I felt like I was supposed to at least propose. And so I did that, because I have found that when I feel those little God nudges is how I think of them that I can either like fight it and then end up regretting it or end up giving in anyway, or I can just embrace that, and so that's what I did. And so here was somebody that you know that I didn't know, and I said, look, I know this is going to sound like really out there, and you know, this isn't normally something that I would do and, honestly, it's incredibly uncomfortable for me to like pitch myself for this and then be really honest about the fact that you know there's so many reasons why you shouldn't pick me. But fast forward about a month later and she reached back out and said hey, look, you know these couple of other people aren't going to work out. Are you still interested in doing it? And of course, I said yes, and and then I thought, okay, you know what, like I don't really know what to do with this.

Speaker 1:

The International Women's Day has a different theme each year, and this theme was accelerating action, so toward, you know, equality and ending gender disparity. And so I thought, okay, you know, like I can talk about stress and self-care and all of that, but this is a different spin on it, and so it was not something that flowed as easily for me as some other things do. But, long story short, I did it. Let's just say that, when the time came, things did not go exactly like I had planned. But you know, it's not the way that life goes. A lot of times it just doesn't. It doesn't go the way that we plan for it to, and so it was one of those situations, and there were not nearly as many people there as I had, as I had hoped, but the people that I did present to had very positive feedback, and so there are just a couple of things that I would like to share with you that I discovered while I was doing this and prepping for this. So just a moment here, let me pull this up so that I don't end up going through my entire presentation for you.

Speaker 1:

So, like I said, the topic was accelerating action, and so my take on that was the inner work of accelerating action, because prioritizing yourself isn't selfish. It's essential for change, and so one of the things that I did think was interesting and, at the same time, shocking, is, at the current rate, gender equality. It's still continue the way they are. That's when we'll actually have equality, and so that's why it's important to do things that accelerate that timeline, because that's too far away. That's too far away.

Speaker 1:

So just a couple of stats here that I found interesting. Women still earn less and we know that and have less leadership representation. So, on average, we earn 82 cents to the male dollar, and in healthcare, women make up 75% of the people working in healthcare, but only like 28% of us are in leadership roles. And again, something that I hadn't really thought about, I just kind of accepted it is that the home load as well is. Most women carry the majority of that. You know the household and the caregiving responsibilities, and we're the ones not only doing the. You know the heavy lifting in terms of regular household things and you know the very tangible things that we do. But when it comes to setting up plans and planning for holidays and get-togethers and things like that, you know we carry the majority of that load as well, and as a result of all those things, 72% of women feel too overwhelmed to make their own health a priority. And that is shocking and it's scary and it's scary.

Speaker 1:

So our particular International Women's Day celebration was to benefit the Family Service Association, domestic violence shelter here locally, and so I shared some facts about domestic violence, and you know that many women don't feel safe in their homes. 41% of women experience domestic violence, sexual violence or stalking. More than half of female homicide victims in the US are killed by a current or former partner and, specifically in Indiana, 42.5% of women in the state have faced intimate partner violence and, just to put that in perspective, every nine seconds a woman in the US is abused by her current or former husband or intimate partner, and the average number of times for a woman to leave an abuser before she finds a way to stay out is seven. And you know, the scary thing is is like sometimes there's not seven opportunities.

Speaker 1:

Now, something that really shook me a month or so ago my husband and I were driving and I was reading an article about someone who had been killed by her husband and in it it said it had this like really startling thing about strangulation because her husband had strangled her, and when I heard it I thought that can't be right. When I heard it, I thought that can't be right. So the thing is, if a woman's partner has ever strangled her, even once, her risk of being murdered by that same partner with a gun shoots up 750% compared to a woman who has never been strangled. That's a direct quote. 50% compared to a woman who has never been strangled, that's a direct quote. And I, when I read that, I was like what, that can't be right. And so I looked into it more and, yes, it seems that that is accurate. Now, strangulation is not the same as choking, even though women will often say choked Choking is an internal thing.

Speaker 1:

Strangulation, as defined by the Training Institute on Strangulation Prevention, is the obstruction of blood vessels and or airflow in the neck resulting in asphyxia. It doesn't matter how long you have been strangled for it to be considered strangulation, and only half of strangulation cases leave a mark. Now, aside from that just being like an incredibly startling fact in and of itself, it really hit home for me because I had, before I met my husband, I had been in a relationship that was mutually abusive verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically and I had joked that you know God dropped my husband into my lap and said you know you make bad choices here. Try this one. And I said you know if, if I would have stayed with my previous partner, one of us or both of us would have likely ended up in prison or dead. And I mean I said that kind of flippantly and somewhat jokingly, but at the same time I did kind of believe that.

Speaker 1:

But when I read this I thought, oh, like I did not realize that it was really that close. Because, yes, there were times when he had his hands around my throat and you know, I do remember a particular instance of you know him having me down on the bed with his hand around my throat and saying I love you, bitch, and so I just really. It really hit home for me and I didn't realize then how close that was. Something else I read as I was looking at this is when a man puts his hands on a woman's neck, on her throat. That it's like he's raising his hand and saying I'm a killer, and that seems so dramatic. But at the same time there's a lot of there's been a lot of research on this. So if that's something that applies to you, if someone has ever strangled you and now only half of strangulation cases leave a mark, so it doesn't matter if you weren't bruised, it doesn't matter if you didn't lose consciousness. The fact is, if someone did that, you're at a huge risk and I know it can be easy to rationalize things like that, but there is help available. But there is help available If you hear of a friend saying something like that. Just be aware of what kind of danger you or she are in.

Speaker 1:

So, moving on, then I talked a bit about the roles that we play as women and there's so many different hats that we wear, and I went in a bit to the way that we can make a difference. And I, for the sake of time because I know this is much longer than my normal episodes so I am going to go into that a little bit more next week, but right now, the most important thing that I want you to take away is that, even when things don't go like we planned, we can still get a lot out of it. We can still get a lot out of it, and when we feel those nudges, you know I think of them, like I said, as God nudges. You may think of them as your intuition Lean into that, even if it's uncomfortable. And sometimes I think, especially if it's uncomfortable, because those things that we're afraid to do are often the things that we really need to do. And also, just keep in mind that there are a lot of women who are struggling with domestic violence and it's not always as easy as well. Just leave.

Speaker 1:

And there are a lot of domestic violence resources and I will share some of them. But you know, one thing that you can do is you can go to the hotlineorg, and that's the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You're able to chat there on the website, you can text. You can also call 800-799-SAFE or text START to 88788. Or you can also go to RAINNorg, which is the Rape, abuse and Incest National Network Sexual Assault Hotline, and that number is 800-656-HOPE. Until next time, remember self-care isn't selfish. It's essential if we want to continue to care for others and live our best lives. And also, you're worth so much more than you believe.