54. The Top Reasons We Skip Self-Care (and How to Stop)

Are you stuck in the “someday” trap when it comes to self-care? In this episode of The Nurses Break Room with Jenny Lytle, RN,  Jenny tackles the four most common excuses that keep caregivers, nurses, and busy people from taking time for themselves — and shows you simple, guilt-free ways to break the cycle.

Discover how to fit self-care into your schedule, even when you’re short on time, money, or energy. Learn why putting yourself first is actually the best way to care for others, and how to create a personalized self-care menu that makes it easy to take action anytime.

You’ll learn:

• The #1 mindset shift that makes self-care possible in any season of life
• How to find micro-moments for yourself without rearranging your whole day
• Free (and powerful) self-care ideas that work for every personality
• Why self-care isn’t selfish — and how to let go of the guilt
• How to create a ready-to-use “self-care menu” you can turn to instantly

Whether you’re a nurse, caregiver, or just someone who’s always putting others first, this episode will help you start caring for yourself now — not later.

✅ Takeaways & Action Steps

Takeaways:

• Self-care is essential, not optional, for sustainable caregiving and living well.
• Lack of time or money doesn’t have to stop you — small, free actions matter.
• Guilt is misplaced — caring for yourself benefits everyone you support.
• Planning self-care ahead of time makes it easier to follow through.

Action Steps:

1. Write down 3–5 quick self-care activities that take 5 minutes or less.
2. Add 3–5 free or low-cost activities you genuinely enjoy.
3. Keep your “self-care menu” somewhere you can see daily.
4. Use pockets of time for intentional self-care instead of mindless scrolling.
5. Revisit and update your list every few months as your needs change.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Chapters

• 0:58 Welcome to Nurses Break Room
• 1:25 Challenge: "I Don't Have Time"
• 3:06 Myth: "Self-Care Costs Too Much"
• 4:39 Excuse: "Others Need Me More"
• 6:48 Creating Your Self-Care Menu
• 10:22 Taking Action and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:29

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Nurses Break Room with Jenny Lytle RN. Today we are going to address the most common reasons that I hear for not fitting self-care into our life. It doesn't seem to matter which demographic I am talking to, whether it be nurses, other caregivers, people who are completely outside of the caregiving realm all of the things are kind of the same. So number one and these aren't necessarily in any particular order, because that part does vary a little bit depending on who I'm talking to but one of the main things is I don't have time, and I get it. We all have busy lives. We play multiple roles in our lives and depending on what kind of season it is, then things can be even busier. Right now we're in back to school time and end of summertime here in the US, and so that looks different for most of us, even if we don't have kids at home or have kids at all. It's just life just starts changing up a little bit. But I challenge you to really think about what is it that you would do if you did have time, and maybe there are things that you enjoy doing that take a long time, but there's also plenty of small things that can be fit into your day to day life, that don't take much time, and the way that we need to address all of these things is to be proactive with that, instead of thinking I don't have time for that, or when I have more time, then I will take care of myself. I'll do things to de-stress, however you want to look at that. But when we look at that a little bit differently and realize that each day we have these little bits of time that we can dedicate to taking care of ourselves, or we can spend that time zoning out with things like scrolling our phone or watching TV or just those busy kind of things that don't really do anything to make us feel better and sometimes increase our anxiety.

Speaker 1: 2:37

The second one is I don't have the money for self care, and that is another one that I'm going to challenge, because, yes, there are plenty of things that you can do that cost money. You can go on a retreat, you can go on a vacation, go to the spa there's, there's so many ways that that you can spend money in taking care of yourself. But there are also a lot of super simple things that can be just as, if not more effective than things that do cost money. And again, you need to look and figure out what is it that you enjoy, like spending time in nature. That's something that's good for us on every level and it's free for the most part. You can pay to go to a national park or to go somewhere, maybe where there's more offerings or you're doing something a little more guided, but you can go to a park somewhere local. You can step outside. Even if you live in the city, you know there's likely a park or some kind of area nearby. Just getting your feet in the grass somewhere or looking at the trees, looking at flowers, having plants inside, going out and looking at the clouds super simple things. They don't take much time and they take little to no money.

Speaker 1: 3:55

Number three is I just feel there are so many other people that I need to be taking care of, so many other things that I need to be doing, that I don't feel like I have time to take care of myself right now, and a lot of times we throw that right now thing on there. When this happens, then I'll be able to take care of myself. Right now is a really busy time. When it slows down, then I'm going to prioritize myself, but think about how long you've been thinking that there are seasons that are busier and slower than others. But if we're not in the habit of prioritizing our own care, then often that next season is going to end up with you neglecting yourself as well. So the way to challenge this one is thinking about the people that are counting on you, thinking about all of those things that you have to do, all of those roles that you play, and then flip that to what if I wasn't here to do those things? What would that look like? Would they still get done? Would that mean that there was a lot of that burden falling to someone else? When we think through those things a little bit further and we think of the people that are important to us, the people that we really feel like we need to be showing up for, then that can be a motivation to take care of ourselves. Then that can be a motivation to take care of ourselves, because when we take care of ourselves, we're happier, we're healthier, we'll potentially be around longer and show up better for those people and again, it doesn't have to take a long time to fit in time to take care of you in addition to everybody else, and you'll find that when you take care of yourself, you have more energy to take care of you in addition to everybody else. And you'll find that when you take care of yourself, you have more energy to take care of others.

Speaker 1: 5:47

Of course, this is such a big one the mindset that self-care is selfish and we have that kind of ingrained into us. But I just encourage you to work on that. Work on how you really feel about that. And how would you approach that? If a close friend was talking to you about being worn out, being depleted, you would likely encourage her to take some time for herself. But we don't always take that advice when it comes to our own lives.

Speaker 1: 6:19

And, of course, if you haven't grabbed my book self care isn't selfish the compassionate nurses step by step guide to personalize self care, that's available in all its forms on Amazon and you can also get a free digital copy on my website at Jenny Lytlecom in Like, I haven't taken care of myself in so long that I don't know where to start, so I saved this one for last, because it really is the best place to start, and that is figuring out proactively what you can do. That will help you to feel taken care of. That will help you to feel less stressed. And look back over the other areas and come up with maybe three to five things that can fit into each area. So if we're looking at time, I don't have time to take care of myself. Okay, what are three to five things that you would enjoy in your life?

Speaker 1: 7:22

Now, I have lists of these things and there's free resources also available on my website and, of course, in my book, but really it needs to be personalized to you. So my list can give you some ideas, but you need to figure out what is it that makes you feel better and then write those things down. Create a menu of self-care items so that when you have those little pockets of time, when you have those times when you're feeling more stressed out and maybe there's something thinking you know what I really need a break you have those things to go to. You don't have to figure out what should I do? So have a list of the things that you can do that just take a little bit of time and I'm talking maybe 60 seconds or five minutes or less and then come up with a list of three to five things that don't take any money, and some of those things may overlap a bit, but maybe some of those are a little bit longer, like going for a walk in the park or going to a maybe there's a free museum locally or going to the library or a walk with a friend or get creative with it. But add those things to your list.

Speaker 1: 8:42

And then for the one about self care seeming selfish, think of the people and jot down these people that are counting on you and think of how they would want you to care for yourself. Or there are people who really take advantage of our kindness. So if that doesn't work for you, then think about how you would approach a friend that said hey, you know what I am? Just I'm worn out or I don't have, I don't have time to take care of myself, I'm busy taking care of all these other people and think of what you would say to that person and jot down a couple of those things, and I encourage you write these down by hand, put them on a note in your phone, put them somewhere where you can see them as a way to just remind yourself that, hey, I'm worthy of taking care of myself, I'm worthy of being cared for, and that has to start with ourselves, the way that we treat ourselves, and then incorporate some of those things on a regular basis.

Speaker 1: 9:52

Start small. If it's uncomfortable and if it's something that you're like, I just I'm really feeling stuck. Get the idea, but I don't. I don't know how to work through this because I'm really struggling with taking that time and effort for myself. Then schedule a call with me. You can schedule a free call there on my website as well, and we can chat through that a little bit. Because when you're someone who is a giver, who is a caretaker, who constantly puts others needs above your own, then it can be a challenge to start making some of those changes. But I'm happy to help you out with that and give you some tips. So until next time, remember self care isn't selfish. It's the only way that we can continue to care for others and live our best lives. Have a wonderful week.