58. Embracing 50: It's OK to Feel Grateful ... and Sad

In this deeply personal episode of The Nurse’s Breakroom with Jenny Lytle, RN, Jenny reflects on turning 50—and how this milestone brought up a surprising mix of gratitude, joy, and unexpected sadness.

🎧 Inside this episode:

• Why it’s normal to feel conflicting emotions around big birthdays - and in day-to-day life
• The difference between self-compassion and toxic positivity
• How to embrace a “both/and” mindset (especially as a caregiver)
• What turning 50 can teach us about presence, perspective, and peace
• Why reflecting on your life regularly builds resilience

This one is for anyone navigating change, questioning their emotions, or wondering if it’s okay to feel a little off even when life is good. (Spoiler: It is.)

Takeaways & Action Steps:

• Embrace both gratitude and grief—it’s human.
• Create space to feel instead of forcing fake positivity.
• Use milestones as a chance to reflect and realign.
• Practice the self-compassion you give to others.
• Don’t rush through the “funk”—sometimes sitting with it brings clarity.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Feeling stressed? Grab my quick and easy Busy Nurses' Guide to Less Stress for practical stress relief that truly fits into your life! https://www.jennylytle.com/guide

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Chapters

• 0:58 Welcome to the Birthday Reflection
• 1:40 Conflicting Emotions About Turning 50
• 3:17 Practicing Self-Compassion Through Change
• 5:25 Life Reflections and Accomplishments
• 8:04 Extending Grace and Staying Connected

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:29

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Nurse's Breakroom with Jenny Lytle RN. This is my birthday week and we're going to focus on self-compassion, especially when it comes to seemingly conflicting emotions. So today is September 8th and it is my last day in my 40s. Tomorrow I'm going to turn 50, and that's something that really I have been looking forward to all year. I've talked about it repeatedly, saying you know I'm going to be 50 soon. You know I'm going to be 50 in September, but now that I'm going to be 50 tomorrow, it's hitting a little different.

Speaker 1: 1:13

These past couple of weeks have been a little bit challenging for me. Overall, I have looked forward to, and still look forward to, 50 because my 40s have been my best and, honestly, I've had a good life not perfect. There's been lots of ups and downs, lots of not great in with the great, but my life has been good and I'm very thankful for that. And my 40s have been great and I expect my 50s to be even better. However, that doesn't mean that I can't still have these feelings about turning half a century. Turning half a century because that's big Now. I've worked in hospice for 20 years now and so I understand what a gift every birthday is and what a milestone 50 is, because you know I've cared for many people who never reach 50. Never reached 50. Two of my grandmas never reached 50. But what I've figured out is that I can be grateful, I can be positive and full of joy in so many ways and I can still feel this sadness, this yearning for youth, and I don't feel that 50 is old, but it's 50. And I didn't really expect to feel this way and I think that's part of it is when we feel things that we know we're going to feel, then it's not as jarring. But when we have these feelings that pop up and kind of blindside us, that's a little different.

Speaker 1: 3:05

I know myself pretty well and I know that sometimes I just get like this I get a little down, I get a little in the funk. I've written about that before. I've talked. Little down, I get a little in the funk. I've written about that before. I've talked about that. But still, when I'm in the midst of it, sometimes I've just got to sit there and I've done a bit of that this week. There are things that I know help me feel better. There are things that I know help me move through it and there's times when I just feel like I can't, when I just need to be, and I'm learning to have that grace with myself, that patience and self-compassion, and honestly that's a bit of a challenge for me. I can have that with other people but maybe, like you, sometimes extending that to myself can be a little bit difficult, especially when I really try to focus on the positive and I try to focus on gratitude.

Speaker 1: 4:08

But I also don't want it to veer over into toxic positivity, because the reality is we're not happy all the time. Things are not great all the time, and if they were, I think they'd lose the edge that makes them feel great. You know, if the sun was shining all the time, would it be as special? Would it feel as good? I don't know. I live in Indiana. It's cloudy and cold a lot, but those great things sometimes seem even greater because we experience the not so great things. Whether that be in our emotions, in our lives, in our environment, whether that be in our emotions, in our lives, in our environment, it's the differences in those things that really make them stand out.

Speaker 1: 4:58

I take time to reflect on my life, how I feel, what I've accomplished, what I still want to accomplish on a pretty regular basis anyway, but this seems like an extra important time to really reflect on that. And when I look back, I know that I have been able to do so many things that I am so thankful for and that I've also got so many more in me that I'm going to accomplish. But one thing and I thought this a few years ago again hospice nurse I think of death and I thought about if I were to find out that I had a terminal diagnosis, what would be missing from my life. And I said then and I still believe that in reality, nothing. I have had a wonderful life.

Speaker 1: 6:10

Now I fully plan on having many, many years ahead of me, but I have people that love me. I feel like I've made a difference in at least a few people's lives. I have family and friends that I love and appreciate and who know me and love me regardless I love and appreciate, and who know me and love me regardless. I feel like I have followed and am following the path that I'm meant to be on, that God has laid out for me, and I also believe that when I die, it's not over. I know where I'm going and I just am so thankful that I have this opportunity to reach out and to connect with people that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to connect with, and that I'm able to be open and honest about the way I feel and having gratitude and having sadness. It's not an either or thing. It can be a both and and.

Speaker 1: 7:22

As I'm going through this, I'm sure that maybe you are, or a friend of yours is, or you have been there, and I would just I would love for you to reach out and connect with me. You can email me at Jenny Lytle, at JennyLytlecom, find me on social media or go to my website and grab one of my free resources and let's stay connected, because I would love to hear some of the things that you go through as well. In the meantime, remember to have the same kind of compassion for yourself, the same kind of grace with yourself that you would with a close friend, and remember self-care isn't selfish. It's essential if we want to continue to care for others and live our best lives. Have a wonderful week.