59. Why Real Self-Care Isn’t Always Relaxing

In this episode of The Nurses Break Room with Jenny Lytle, RN, Jenny shares a surprising take on self-care that goes beyond bubble baths and breaks.

What if real self-care means doing the uncomfortable thing—like catching up on emails or folding laundry—instead of zoning out on the couch?

Jenny shares a recent weekend that reminded her: sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to get stuff done.

If you’ve ever felt buried under “life stuff” and unsure how to recharge, this episode will help you find clarity, peace, and control—by doing what you’ve been avoiding.

You’ll learn:

• The ONE question that helps you choose the right kind of self-care
• How to trade momentary comfort for long-term calm
• Why checking something off your list can be more healing than resting
• How to spot “productive self-care” in your own life
• How to reduce stress and overwhelm without burning out

Perfect for nurses, caregivers, and high-achievers who want self-care that actually works.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Feeling stressed? Grab my quick and easy Busy Nurses' Guide to Less Stress for practical stress relief that truly fits into your life! https://www.jennylytle.com/guide

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Nurse's Break Room
• 1:02 Self-Care's Uncomfortable Truth
• 1:36 Prioritizing What We Need Most
• 3:13 Making Better Choices
• 4:56 Next Episode Preview

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:29

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Nurse's Break Room with Jenny Lytle RN. Today we're going to talk about something that I really haven't talked about very often, and that's when self-care means telling yourself something that you might not want to hear. This summer has been a busy one, and it's been full of work things and fun things and family things, and it's been great. But that also means that there's a lot of stuff that's gotten put on the back burner, and as I started a new job last week, I realized, as I was trying to get all those moving pieces put together in a way that was going to work well, that what I really needed to do, instead of taking time on the weekend to decompress and just relax and enjoy my time, that I needed to spend some time really working on the things that had gotten behind, that had gotten behind things that were going to help me feel more prepared, less stressed, more in control of my life moving forward. And so yesterday I spent the majority of the day working through emails and messages and getting back with people, because that's something that I really like to try to stay on top of, but it had gotten out of control.

Speaker 1: 2:00

Saturday, we had a great day with family and my husband and I were just able to be together and we went out to eat and we had a great time. And yesterday there was a part of me that wanted to do that as well. But I know that, again, there are only so many hours in the day, and doing things that decrease my stress in the moment are great, but there's times when we need to take that longer view and maybe not go for an extended hike, unless that's really what you know your body is needing. But having to sometimes trade off those things that would be more fun, would be more enjoyable in the moment and would be good for us long-term as well. But it's just figuring out like what is it that I need most right now? And that's a question that you've probably heard me mention before, and I think it's so important to come back to that, especially when we're having those times when we're really kind of struggling with it.

Speaker 1: 3:10

There's so many great options, or maybe we don't even see them as great options. We're seeing them as so many things to do, and again I've got that going too. You know I need to mop, I need to change my sheets. I haven't done those things. They're on my list, but that wasn't what I needed most right now, and so I just encourage you, as you dive into this week, think about is there something that you have maybe been putting off, that if you took a little bit of time to do it, would that free up some of that mental headspace for you, some of that just emotional bandwidth, to be able to approach the rest of the week a little more relaxed, a little more peaceful and feeling like you're more on top of things, and maybe that's something that doesn't apply to you and that's wonderful.

Speaker 1: 4:04

But I think we can all come back to that question of what do I need most right now, particularly when we're feeling stressed, but even in the midst of a great day, you know, what is it that I need most? To maybe continue feeling this way. We don't have to wait until we're in a crisis to start taking care of ourselves, to start asking ourselves important questions, to get off of autopilot. And so next week I'm going to be talking about planning ahead and what that looks like when we plan our weeks in advance and our months and our days, and how that can really change our productivity, our overall feel and our stress levels. And so, until next time, remember that self-care isn't selfish. It's essential if we want to continue to care for others and live our best lives. Have a wonderful week.