69. Grieving Through the Holidays: Rituals, Rest, and Realistic Expectations

In this episode of The Nurses’ Break Room with Jenny Lytle, RN, we talk about something many people quietly carry this time of year: grief during the holidays. Whether you’re missing a person, a relationship, or a season of life, the holiday season can magnify those emotions.

You’ll learn simple, compassionate ways to navigate grief, honor your loved ones, stay connected, and support your mental and emotional health—without pretending everything is “fine.”

What we cover:

• Why holiday grief feels so intense
• How to let yourself feel without judgment
• Simple ways to honor loved ones during the season
• What “Blue Christmas” and longest night services offer
• Staying connected instead of isolating
• Journaling + talking to your loved one as emotional support
• How to care for your body when grief drains your energy
• Giving yourself permission to simplify traditions

Takeaways + Action Steps:

• ✔ Let emotions rise and fall without forcing cheerfulness
• ✔ Create one simple ritual to honor your loved one
• ✔ Reach out to one safe person when grief feels heavy
• ✔ Make a short self-care plan: sleep, hydration, gentle movement
• ✔ Release “shoulds” and do only what feels supportive this year

Perfect for anyone grieving, supporting a griever, or navigating seasonal depression.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Feeling stressed? Grab my quick and easy Busy Nurses' Guide to Less Stress for practical stress relief that truly fits into your life! https://www.jennylytle.com/guide

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Chapters

• 1:27 Welcome And Topic: Holiday Grief
• 2:12 Permission To Feel And Validate Emotions
• 2:48 Rituals To Honor Loved Ones
• 3:44 Choose Connection And Community Support
• 5:11 Personal Losses And Blue Christmas
• 6:27 Talking To The Person You Miss
• 7:18 Care For Your Body While Grieving
• 7:29 Practical Self-Kindness Reminders
• 7:56 Fuel And Hydration Basics For Energy
• 8:10 Closing: Pain And Joy Can Coexist
• 8:28 Gentle Movement And Self-Compassion

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:58

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Nurses Break Room with Jenny Lettle RN. Today we are talking about something that shows up for a lot of people this time of year: grief during the holidays. The holiday season has a way of really amplifying everything we feel. Joy feels brighter, but sadness and loneliness and longing can feel heavier too. And if you're grieving a person, a relationship, a season of life, it's totally normal for it to hit differently right now. Especially if you're someone who's kind of prone to some seasonal depression anyway. And this isn't about fixing grief. It's about meeting yourself with compassion while moving through the season. Now, first, you're allowed to feel whatever comes up. You don't have to push yourself to be cheerful or pretend that everything's fine. Grief is not a sign that you're weak or that you're doing the holidays wrong. It's a sign that you love deeply and that you feel deeply. Let those feelings rise and fall without judging them. Some moments may be harder, and others might surprise you with a little peace or even joy, and all of that is okay. Honor your loved one in your own way. For many, it helps to find small ways to bring your person or your people into the season. And maybe that's by making one of their favorite recipes, or putting out a photo that makes you smile, sharing stories about them when you're gathering with others, keeping a special tradition, or starting a new one that feels right. Lighting a candle just for them. These simple rituals can give your heart a place to be able to really celebrate that person and to hold the joy that you had with them, or maybe the complicated feelings that you had with them, with whatever you're currently feeling. Stay connected instead of isolating. Grief can make us want to pull back, but connection is one of the most healing things that we can offer ourselves. And that involves reaching out to someone safe, whether that's a friend, a coworker, another family member, another caregiver who gets it. If the heaviness becomes too much to carry alone, reaching out to a grief support group or a therapist is a strong and compassionate next step. And again, it's not a sign of weakness. And many communities, I know ours does, offers a blue Christmas, or some offer like longest night services where people gather specifically to honor both the sadness and the hope of the season. And those things don't have to be completely separate. And these spaces can be really comforting. I went to my first one shortly after the loss of my mom. And it's incredible how comforting it can be. And it's something that honestly I enjoy going to year after year because there's always something that comes up at Christmas time when you've lost loved ones, whether it's recent or several years ago. And you know, we've lost my mom, we've lost both of my uh husband's parents, and recently we lost a daughter-in-law. And it's it's just a beautiful way to be able to go and feel whatever you feel. And if you're somebody who is a believer, you know, believe that God is there and God is still good, even in the midst of our pain. Talking to them if it helps. Sometimes it just feels good to sit and talk to the person that you're missing. And you can do that out loud or quietly in your mind, or write them a letter, or just journal some of those things. You can journal about what you wish you could say or what you're learning in this new chapter. Maybe it's, you know, telling them exciting new things are happening. Maybe it's reflecting on some things in the past. Maybe it's moving through some of the things that you have regrets about. There's no wrong way to stay connected. And take care of your body while your heart is healing because grief is exhausting physically and emotionally. And a few basics can really go a long way. Things like prioritizing sleep, eating regularly, and thinking about what you're fueling your body with. It can be easy to default to things like carbs and you know, empty calories, sugary kind of things, and caffeine. And I'm not saying you have to completely eliminate those, but you know, focus on things that are really going to fuel you on a cellular level, you know, things that you know are good for you because they may not give you that warm, fuzzy feeling in the moment, but they are going to go a long way to helping you heal, body, mind, and spirit. Moving gently. So stretching, breathing, short walks, and staying hydrated. And none of this has to be perfect. Just think of being kind to yourself and compassionate to yourself. Think of the things that you would recommend to a friend who was going through a hard time. Because usually we know the things that are helpful and are harmful, but we don't always take that uh advice for ourselves. And give yourself permission around traditions. You get to decide what holidays look like this year. If decorating brings you comfort, then decorate. And if it feels like too much, keep it simple. If you want to go to the party, go. If you need a quiet night at home, honor that. Release the shoulds, do what feels manageable and supportive. If you're grieving this season, I hope you feel a little less alone right now. Your loss matters. Your feelings make sense, and you deserve compassion, especially from yourself. The holidays can hold both the pain and the joy. One doesn't have to cancel out the other. Until next time, remember self-care isn't selfish. It's essential if we want to continue to care for others and live our best lives. Have a great week.