74. The Hidden Weight of Hospice Work, Part 2: How to Release It After Your Shift

Hospice work is sacred — and it’s heavy.

If you find yourself replaying conversations, second-guessing decisions, or feeling like the emotional weight of the day follows you home, this episode is for you.

In this episode of The Nurses’ Breakroom with Jenny Lytle, RN, hospice nurse and stress-relief coach Jenny Lytle shares gentle, practical ways to release the emotional weight of a hard shift — without guilt, without “fixing,” and without needing better boundaries.

You’ll learn why carrying work home doesn’t mean you’re too sensitive or doing it wrong — and how to begin transitioning out of nurse mode in a way that honors both your patients and yourself.

✨ In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why caring deeply makes it harder to “turn off” after work
• How your nervous system stays on high alert after a hard shift
• Three gentle, menu-style options to help you set the work down
• Why consistency matters more than perfection when it comes to self-care
• How kindness toward yourself creates more relief than discipline ever will

This episode is especially helpful for hospice nurses, hospice professionals, and caregivers who feel emotionally full, exhausted, or wired after work and want practical support that actually feels doable.

🎧 Next episode preview: Why rest feels so hard — even when you’re exhausted and know you need it.

Key Takeaways / Action Steps

• You’re not broken for carrying work home — you care deeply
• The goal isn’t to care less, but to transition out of the role
• Choose one gentle reset — body, thought, or ritual
• Consistency > perfection
• Rest becomes possible when your nervous system feels safe

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Feeling stressed? Grab my quick and easy Busy Nurses' Guide to Less Stress for practical stress relief that truly fits into your life!  https://www.jennylytle.com/guide

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com 

Connect on LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Transcript

Naming The Invisible Weight

Jenny Lytle, RN 0:29

Hello, and welcome back to another episode of the Nurses Break Room with Jenny Lytle, RN. Last week we talked about the hidden weight that we carry, the emotional load that doesn't always stay at work. And today I want to talk about what we can actually do with that weight. Because naming it matters, but so does having a way to set it down. And after years in hospice, I know how easy it is to leave a patient's home and still feel like the work is sitting in your chest and your shoulders and your thoughts and replaying conversations and second-guessing yourself and wondering if you said the right thing or if you missed something. And if that sounds familiar, I just want you to hear this clearly. There's nothing wrong with you. It doesn't mean that you're too sensitive. It doesn't mean that you have poor boundaries. It just means that you were present and you really cared. And this work is sacred. But also the problem isn't that you care too much. It's just that most of us were never taught how to transition out of the role. So today I want to offer you a few gentle options, um, not rules, not homework, just a menu, just, you know, something that you can choose from. You don't have to do all of these. You can pick one, or you can rotate, or maybe something doesn't feel right now, but it might later, and you can come back to it. But we're gonna start with the body. And so for the first option, we're just gonna do a body reset. After a hard shift, your nervous system doesn't magically know that you're home. Your body is still in alert mode. You know, you're waiting for the phone to go off, you're waiting for somebody to need something. So let's give it a signal. And a way to do that is you can just you can put both of your feet on the floor and just notice that they're supported. And then take one slow breath in through your nose. And then exhale and let that exhale be a little longer than the inhale. And you don't need to fix anything, you're just telling your body, I'm safe right now. And something else that you can do, if you're feeling like you're just feeling very anxious, very tensed up, you can just like literally shake some of that off, let go of some of that anxiety, that tension, that um that feeling of kind of overwhelm and pent up, you know, when you're exhausted, but at the same time you're wired. So just like animals that come back from a confrontation or a stressful situation, you know, you'll see them literally shake it off. And that's because that helps to reset our nervous system. But we don't often do that. But if you try it, I think that you'll find that it really can be beneficial. And, you know, just getting that, getting that blood pumping and just releasing everything that you've been carrying all day. That's another way to let your body know, hey, I'm safe. I'm safe right now. Those things alone can make more of a difference than we realize. And then if that's maybe not what you're feeling right now, option two is maybe just a thought that can help us release things. So many of us leave work carrying these things in our head, these, you know, things that are kind of on repeat. Oh, I should have done more, I should have done something different, I could have handled that better, I missed something. And that can be something that just pops up throughout our evenings. And and so here's a reframe that you can try. And you don't even have to force yourself to believe it fully. But when those things come up, and and they might continue to do that, but when they do, just try saying, I showed up with what I had today. I showed up in the best way that I knew how. That's enough for this moment. It doesn't mean that you're lowering your standards. It's just releasing that responsibility of things that we were never meant to carry. You know, yes, we want to do our best and we want to learn from mistakes, but the reality is we are going to make mistakes sometimes. We are going to miss things, we are going to see things differently in hindsight because that's that's natural. But that doesn't mean we always have to carry it. So, option three is marking the end of that role. Our brains love rituals, even really tiny ones. And so this can be as simple as maybe changing your clothes when you get home or wash your hands, put on a favorite lotion, having something that triggers your mind. Hey, this is I am transitioned out of work mode and I am into home mode now. Maybe it's stepping outside for a minute and just feeling the air and taking a few deep breaths and being able to quietly say to yourself, this is the end of my work role today. And being able to put that aside, reminding yourself that you can come back to that and you can come back rested. And it's not about having this hard wall, this hard boundary, but it's a bridge, a bridge from your work life into your regular life. And again, you don't need to do all three. You can, but you don't have to do all three. It's not something else to add to something that you need to be doing or that you need to be good at. It's just that consistency is going to matter more here than perfection. It doesn't need to be a big elaborate ritual, just something that reminds you that you are you outside of being a hospice professional. It's about being kind to yourself. And you know, that kindness matters more than just hard discipline. And if it's really hard to set the work down, that doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're human and you're doing meaningful, emotionally demanding work. And it's hard to just flip a switch and turn that off. But next time we're going to talk about why rest feels so hard. Even when you're exhausted, even when you know you need it, sometimes it's still just difficult to get everything to shut off and really be able to rest. And until next time, remember self care isn't selfish. It's the only way that we can continue to show up for others and live our best lives. Have a wonderful week.