84. Why Hospice Nurses Stay (Even When It's Hard) | Remembering Why You Chose Hospice

How did you end up in hospice?

It's one of my favorite questions to ask hospice nurses because everyone has a story. Some were inspired by a loved one. Some had a mentor who believed in them. Others stumbled into hospice almost by accident...and then realized they had found where they belonged.

In this episode, I share my own hospice journey, how I unexpectedly found this work, how burnout caused me to lose sight of myself, and why I still believe it's possible to love hospice again—without sacrificing your own well-being. 

If you've ever wondered whether you've lost your passion for hospice—or if it's simply been buried beneath years of caring for everyone else—I hope this conversation reminds you that your purpose isn't gone. It may simply be waiting to be uncovered. 

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why so many hospice nurses never planned to work in hospice

• The common thread I've discovered through The Hospice Nurse Well-Being Project™

• My own journey into hospice nursing—and the burnout that almost caused me to leave

• Why I believe most hospice nurses don't lose their purpose...it simply gets buried

• Two powerful questions that can help you reconnect with the nurse you've always been

This Week's Reflection

Take a few quiet minutes to reflect on these two questions:

❤️ How did hospice find me?

❤️ After everything I've seen...why have I stayed?

Somewhere inside those answers may be the beginning of remembering the nurse you've always been. 

💕 Remember...

You don't have to choose between loving hospice and protecting your own well-being.

 I truly believe it's possible to do both. 

💕 Enjoying The Nurses' Breakroom with Jenny Lytle, RN? Follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with another hospice nurse who could use a little encouragement. 

 💕 Download your FREE Hospice Nurse's Guide to Less Stress: www.JennyLytle.com/guide

Jenny Lytle, BSN, RN is the founder of The Hospice Nurse Well-Being Project™ and host of The Nurses' Breakroom with Jenny Lytle, RN. After more than 30 years as a nurse—including over two decades in hospice—she helps hospice nurses reduce stress, prevent burnout, and love hospice again—without sacrificing their own well-being. 💕 

🌿 Learn more about The Hospice Nurse Well-Being Project™
https://jennylytle.com

Transcript

Jenny Lytle, RN 0:20

Hello and welcome back to The Nurses' Breakroom with Jenny Lytle R.N. Last week we reimagined what it might look like if tomorrow were somehow different. And not because hospice suddenly became easier, not because staffing improved, or because you found a different job, but because you made one small intentional choice

Reset Begins With Remembering

Jenny Lytle, RN 0:38

that helped you reconnect with yourself. Today, I want to go one step deeper. Because before we can truly reset our lives, we have to remember what we're resetting back to. And I've had the privilege of talking with hospice nurses from all over the country through the Hospice Nurse Wellbeing Project. And one of my favorite questions is simply: how did you end up in hospice? And I love that question because almost nobody says, I've wanted to

How Hospice Found Us

Jenny Lytle, RN 1:08

be a hospice nurse since kindergarten. Almost everyone has a story. And for some people, it is that they had a family member who was on hospice and it was a great experience or a not so great experience. And it made them want to do things differently. Some people thought maybe it was something that they'd give a try. And then they realized, wow, these are my people. But despite all those different stories, there's something else that I noticed. Most of them fell in love with hospice. Not that they loved every day, but they loved what hospice represented. They loved the being present and the relationships and walking alongside families at this crucial time in life. They were really able to make a difference and being able to care for the whole person and the whole family. And their stories are similar to mine. I was not looking for hospice. I didn't really know what hospice was. I had heard of it, yes, and I'd been a nurse for a while. But I thought that it was something that was the last few days of life and that it was for people with cancer. And

A First Real Look At Hospice

Jenny Lytle, RN 2:20

really beyond that, I didn't know or think anything about it. And I found hospice because a close friend of mine, her father, had uh cancer and he was, you know, going through treatment and he was doing okay-ish. And then he woke up one morning and wasn't. He ended up going to the ER where they said, yes, it's spread, and they sent him home on hospice with two weeks to live. And they were not a very medical family. And so I was there for a lot of those two weeks. And I thought, this is such an amazing way to experience end of life. I had worked long-term care, and and so I had seen death, but it was different. And being able to be at home, surrounded by the people that he loved, and being able to go outside on the porch and smoke. Yes, he had lung cancer. And if he would have quit smoking, it wasn't going to change the fact that he was going to die and soon. And so being able to do that and do the things that he loved and have a house full of people, um, it was it was so incredible to me. And I thought, gosh, I think I might want to do that. But I can get caught up in the moment of things. And so I decided to wait a little bit. But then a couple of months later, I was driving past the hospice that he had been a part of. I went past their building and I saw that they were hiring. And I went in and applied. And long story short, I ended up a hospice nurse. I worked my first hospice job for 12 years. And when I first started, I absolutely fell in love with it. I woke up early. I put my kids in daycare for the first time. I had stayed home with them and kind of worked around my husband's schedule when they were younger, put them in daycare so that I could start in this role. And I I loved my work. I got up early. I was excited

Falling In Love With The Work

Jenny Lytle, RN 4:27

to go to work. I um made really horrible boundary decisions. And I worked a lot and I loved it. It was so fulfilling. And honestly, that first job is the only job that I've ever truly loved. And I remember what that felt like. Just to think, gosh, it's such a privilege to be able to be in these homes with these patients and families at the most vulnerable time in their lives and to walk alongside them and support them. And I um I remember what it was like when I thought, I can't do this anymore. And I changed roles, I changed positions a few times in that organization. And the the short version is that I ended up incredibly burned out. Again,

When Passion Turns Into Burnout

Jenny Lytle, RN 5:20

a lot of that was on me. And that and a lot of other things that you probably have heard, if not, I'm sure you will at some point from me, but led me to getting super burned out and leaving and sent me on a journey to figure out like, who am I without that? And I still love hospice. I actually went back to that organization for a while. I still work hospice right now on a PRN basis. And I am able to do that because I found ways that it works in with the things that matter so much to me now. And where I really feel called now to serve is not only in the hospice role that I'm in, but in the capacity to help hospice nurses, to support hospice nurses who want to stay in hospice, who love the work that they do and are just struggling to figure out how to stay in it because they're sacrificing their own well-being in order to be there. And I don't think any of us started hospice hoping that we'd become exhausted. None of us thought, I hope one day I dread Mondays. I hope one day I feel numb. I hope one day I'll spend my evenings charting instead of being present with my family. That's not how our stories began. So what happened? I don't think most hospice nurses lose their purpose. I think it gets buried. Buried beneath charting and productivity, and buried beneath admissions and constant change, and buried beneath giving so much of ourselves that we slowly

Unburying Purpose With Two Questions

Jenny Lytle, RN 7:09

lose sight of ourselves. But here's the good news if purpose can become buried, it can also be uncovered. And I'd love for you to spend a few minutes thinking about two questions this week. And the first is how did hospice find me? And really think about your story. And then ask yourself, after everything I've seen, everything I've gone through, why have I stayed? Not why haven't I left, but why have I stayed? Because I feel like that somewhere inside that answer is the beginning of remembering the nurse you've always been. One thing I've learned is most hospice nurses don't want to leave hospice. They want to love hospice again. And I truly believe that's possible. Now, next week we are going to explore something that I think keeps so many of us stuck. If our purpose is still there, if the nurse we used to be is still there, then what's getting in the way? And we'll talk about the beliefs and habits and patterns that slowly pull us away from ourselves and

Next Steps And A Self-Care Reminder

Jenny Lytle, RN 8:15

how to begin recognizing them. Because once you can see what's getting in the way, you can begin moving through it. Until next time, remember self care isn't selfish. It's essential if we want to continue to care for others and live our best lives. Have a wonderful week.