The Feed My Health Podcast

The 10 Commandments of Transformation

• Rosalind Tapper

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The 10 Commandments of Transformation provide a framework for understanding where you are in your health journey and what needs to change to create lasting results. Each commandment addresses a critical aspect of transformation, from understanding your current level to visualizing your final destination.

• Understanding your current level - identifying whether you're at level 1 (information gathering), level 2 (inconsistent action), or level 3 (striving for excellence)
• Developing a pro athlete mentality - recognizing that results come from consistent private work, not just what's visible to others
• Examining your relationship with food and the scale - addressing how childhood influences shape current behaviors
• Focusing on process rather than outcomes - finding ways to enjoy the journey instead of fixating only on results
• Being open to feedback without emotional reactivity - developing the ability to hear and consider different perspectives
• Practicing presence in all activities - giving full attention to one thing at a time rather than constant multitasking
• Recognizing that non-actions shape your identity - asking how someone who's achieved your goal would show up daily
• Approaching life as a game you're designing - creating joy and excitement in daily choices
• Seeking coaching and mentorship - understanding you don't need to do everything alone
• Visualizing your "final movie scene" - clearly seeing the outcome you're working toward

Book a call with me through the link in the show notes to discuss your vision and create a game plan for achieving your health transformation.


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Speaker 1:

Welcome back everybody. I hope you're well. Welcome to the Feed my Health podcast. If you are new here, my name is Rosalind Tapper.

Speaker 1:

I am the owner of Feed my Health Online Coaching, and today we're going to be talking about the 10 commandments of transformation, and you can actually apply this to most areas of your life, but we're going to use it in the case of physical and psychological transformation. Now, each of these commandments are very, very, very pivotal in your transformation and you'll be able to understand where you are right now by using them and me talking around them, but also what you need to do if you aren't where you want to be and you want to progress. So we are going to start with number one, and this is a really great place to start, really, because it will allow you to assess where you are and really be honest with yourself about how you've been showing up. So the first one is understanding where you are and what's at stake. That's number one, and there are three levels involved in this. So I want to talk you through the three levels and you might identify yourself as being in one of these levels and if you are at one or two, potentially we can talk about how we would move you to level three. So level one is somebody or it's at a place where you want transformation. You understand that you need to change. Maybe you need to improve your health. You know that you need to improve your nutrition, potentially, and your behaviors and your habits, but you're not really doing anything about it. You're kind of consuming things on social media. You are potentially listening to these podcasts, you're listening to other podcasts, reading books, looking at articles, but you aren't really taking any action on them.

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And by gathering the information, you're almost feeling like you are, you're making moves or you're making some kind of a change. So that would be level one. Level two would be that you kind of take the next step from there. So maybe you are doing something proactive, maybe you've joined a club or a program or you've joined a gym, but you're not really being super consistent with it. Some days you will feel like you are quote unquote on it. Other days you feel like you have, quote unquote, fallen off the wagon. So you are doing things, but you're kind of playing at them. You're tracking your food here and there, but sometimes you'll have more than you are supposed to have and you won't track it. Maybe you aren't being very consistent with going for a daily walk, maybe you are underestimating how much you're eating, but you're doing something. And then level two sorry, level three is where you are striving to be the best.

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Now, I'm not saying that you are the best every single day. I'm not saying that every day should be or is 100%. I am a firm believer that we can't always get 100% and that we shouldn't strive for that. However, what you are striving for is excellence. So you aren't listening to your own excuses. You are going above and beyond for yourself. You are looking for ways to always improve. And even if you, let's say, you're tracking your calories and you over consume, you're still adding in the foods that you over consumed.

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You aren't going to judge yourself on that day. You will start each day as a fresh. You will hit reset every single day because we have that opportunity to do so and you don't. You do not judge yourself. So if you have a bad day, if you deem it as a bad day, or a day didn't go how you wanted it to, for whatever reason, you don't allow that to determine your next, whatever reason, you don't allow that to determine your next day. You don't allow it to determine your week etc. Etc. And that would be level three, and ideally we want to be playing at level three if you want to have consistent change that lasts. So that's number one. So perhaps you can identify what level you're playing at and if you are a feed my health client, actually one way to determine whether you are at any of those places you may have already recognized that is that somebody who's playing at level three. They're the kind of people that will proactively show up in the group chats, they will show up to the webinars, they will really get involved and they will want to learn. Level Level two you're kind of pretty much as I explained it sort of in and out a bit. You know, sometimes you'll show up in the community, sometimes you won't. If things are going really well for you you will, but if they're not going so well you'll stay quiet. And then level one is you aren't really getting off the block at all and if you are really, really struggling, you will just completely stay quiet. So that's a really great way of understanding the levels that you're on.

Speaker 1:

Number two of the commandment is having the pro athlete mentality. So if you think about a pro athlete and what it takes for them to be a pro athlete. You're going. A lot of what they do, a lot of their greatness, is shown in public, but it's also in private, and they will practice their craft in private but they will perform it in public. And it's very similar with health and weight loss. And a lot of what we do, a lot of what we see on social media, is a result of what somebody commits to in private. So if you look at somebody on Instagram, for example, and they seem to have a great body or great habits or whatever, it's because of all the things that they're doing behind the scenes that you can't see. And it's really hard because it makes it seem really easy. It makes it seem that, oh, they've always looked that way or they always seemed that great or whatever. They've always got their shit together. But the reality is they're probably going through very similar things to you. They just know how to overcome them, or that they understand that struggle is part of the process and I'll touch on that in a little bit. But practicing in private is just as important, if if not more important, than what you show in public, and so having that pro athlete mentality as you go about your day is so, so, so powerful.

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Number three is your relationship to the scales and to food. Now, this will be really really dependent on what you were exposed to as a child. So if you were surrounded by parents, potentially, that were very focused on food and maybe they made food to show you love or gave you food to show you love maybe you were surrounded by parents who were obsessed with how much they weighed or how they looked, or you know, even just passing comments that you heard, that can have a real knock-on effect to you in your future as well. And the great thing is, you have a choice on whether you want to use that and use it as information to rewrite your story. So your relationship to those two things is really, really important and you, if you're not happy with where you are and you can identify that those two things are holding you back, then you have a. It's your, it's your responsibility to find a way to overcome that, and that can be through therapies, it can be through just chatting to a friend, it can be through just taking different actions and making different choices. It can be as simple as that. So, your relationship to the scale and your relationship to food is number three.

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Number four is for you to be process focused and not outcome attached. Now, what this means is, if you let's take weight loss as a great example if you are wanting to lose weight, a lot of the time people will focus on only taking action if they are losing weight, or only taking action to lose weight. So people will start eating well, focusing on their food, focusing on their protein, focusing on moving more, going to the gym because they want to lose weight, and then, when their weight stagnates or they stop or something they struggle in their life, something happens. They stop focusing on all of those habits and behaviors, and that's because they're focused on the outcome as opposed to the process, as opposed to the process. So becoming process focused is so, so important. We need to not necessarily have to love every single element of it, but find ways to enjoy it as much as we can. So I absolutely love going out for my daily walks, but I didn't always, and I found a way to enjoy it by using it as time for me listening to podcasts, listening to books, listening to things that I wouldn't normally make time to do and the more I did it, the more I realized the benefits of it, mentally as well. So finding the joy in the things that you don't necessarily love is so important if you want to progress and it's going to help you progress in a broader area like your health to progress, and it's going to help you progress in a broader area like your health.

Speaker 1:

Number five is to be able to take feedback and to actually remove emotion from it. Okay, so if somebody says to you, I can see that let's take a coach in a client relationship, actually let's say a coach is giving you some feedback on something, it's being able to take that feedback and proactively use it without feeling like it is a dig at you or it's a negative. I'm trying to put it into words. It's very hard for me to describe, very hard for me to describe. There's this whole concept of being coachable or not coachable, and somebody who is coachable is very open to learning, very open to learning new things, listening to another perspective, taking it on board and then taking action on those things, and the opposite of that obviously is not being coachable. So this is what I mean by I can take feedback as well. So it's the difference between being coachable. So this is what I mean by can take feedback as well. So it's the difference between being coachable and not coachable.

Speaker 1:

So somebody who struggles to take feedback will immediately get their back up. They will immediately go into the defense, they will immediately come up with excuses as to why they couldn't do certain things or they chose a different option or whatever. And we've all been there, we've all done it. But when you can start to take feedback, you don't have to act on it. If you just if it doesn't align with who you are and what you believe, you don't have to action it. But to actually listen to another person's perspective and insights can be a really valuable thing, and sometimes people can see things in you that you can't see in yourself. I've got a great friend who has got a great way of seeing a different perspective on my thoughts, and I really, really value that. But I'm a very open-minded person and so I sort of lap it up. I love to see and hear the insights of other people. I find it so helpful and I am a highly coachable person, so it kind of makes sense.

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Number six is being present Now. This is actually something that I am working on myself this year and I know, notice that it's actually really flipping hard, because we get into habits of multitasking and when you have young children, it becomes almost essential to be able to multitask to have a conversation, to understand how your little one's day was whilst driving to ballet, whilst simultaneously making sure they're not choking on the snack that they you've made them for the car you know. Then getting home and listening to them tell you about the day whilst you're washing the pots, emptying the dishwasher and sweeping with one hand and all you know it's we. We are conditioned to multitask as a parent, um, but I also think that multitasking has been, in the past, put on a pedestal as as something that we should all strive to be, to be good at, and it seemed to be like such a great thing. And women I hear women say all the time men aren't supposed to be able to multitask or men can't multitask, like it's a woman's prerogative and it's such a great thing.

Speaker 1:

But what I actually see happen is that we just aren't present. We aren't fully immersed in the things that we're doing with the people that we are with, and we that we're doing with the people that we are with, and we're missing out on a lot of life because of that. So when you're doing something, really do it and give it your full attention. If you're going for a walk, really go for that walk. Look around you, take in the sounds, take in the smells, see what you can see. If you're with your kids, listen to your kids, be with your kids. If you're watching TV, watch TV tv. Don't watch tv with one eye on your phone, playing tetris or whatever you know.

Speaker 1:

Being present is so important and you'll probably find that you are a lot more relaxed and a lot less stressed by doing so. I think we think as well, like with the whole sitting on the sofa watching tv with one eye on the phone. I think we think now that that is unwinding and relaxing, and it's actually not because you're being stimulated by every which way and being present with just one thing. Even if you just test it out for one day, you'll see how hard it is because of social media and the fast pacedness of life. Now we get everything we want, like yesterday. We are being conditioned every single day to have such short attention spans. I remember when I first started my business, and I not started my business but started my Instagram page sorry, there was an IGTV function, which I don't know if anybody remembers, but you could upload really long videos, very much like YouTube, and now people don't even have more than three seconds before they get bored of a reel. So you know, it really is a problem, and if you can be present in the moment and really get yourself involved in the thing, the task, the exercise, the meal, whatever you're having, watch how much your mood improves.

Speaker 1:

Number seven what you aren't doing is just as important as what you are doing Now. This is one that I feel is so important and a lot of you will resonate with, but it's one of those that you can't just instantly take action on and make a change, so you'll have to bear with me on this one. But one thing that is so important is that the place that you are right now is because of the person that you perceive yourself to be. It's the identity that you have for yourself, and and you're always, always creating and reinforcing that identity, whether it's a good thing in your eyes or a bad thing in your eyes. So what I mean by that is, if you decide that you're going to go to the gym and then you don't go, you are reinforcing to your identity that you are a person that doesn't keep their promises to themselves. Similarly, if you say to yourself, I'm going to go to the gym today and you do go to the gym, you are reinforcing to your identity that you are a person that keeps their promises to themselves. So every decision that you make throughout the day is reinforcing a identity. So the things that you aren't doing are just as important as the things that you are doing.

Speaker 1:

A great little thing that you can use to remind you of this is have a little post-it or have a little reminder on your phone, or use it as the backdrop on your phone or whatever Is. Ask yourself this question, whatever is. Ask yourself this question. How would someone with insert your dream outcome show up every single day? So if you are a person that wanted to maintain a healthy weight let's say you're I'm just throwing an arbitrary number out here let's say you wanted to be 60 kilograms how would a person who maintains 60 kilograms act and show up every single day and are you acting and showing up in that same way? That's a really great and simple reminder.

Speaker 1:

Number eight is remembering that your life can just be a game. Your life is to be enjoyed and you can create your life. So I want you to imagine that you are a video game designer and the game is your life. I want you to see every single day as an opportunity to create excitement and to create joy, and when you live your life from that lens, everything is great, everything is exciting. There's no more fear, there's no more berating, there's no more oh, this was an awful day, or there's no more. I'm off the wagon. Because your life is a game and it's a game of levels, and when you come from that place, it will be absolutely epic for you. Number nine is coaching, mentorship. Mastery plus playing the long game equals excellence.

Speaker 1:

You can't do everything on your own, and you were not meant to do everything on your own. If you were, there would be no jobs for plumbers, electricians, bakers, florists, um bin men, I don't know. You name it, you name it. We need people who are experts in their field to provide and to help. You are not all of those things. Nobody is Okay. Yes, I know that Mary Poppins reckoned she could do everything and she had one bag full of stuff that could pretty much solve any problem in the world, but that's not the reality. Okay, that was Disney, that's not our reality.

Speaker 1:

So where this comes from I have no idea, but I certainly struggled with this, where I felt like I should and had to be good at everything. And as soon as I started asking people for help, my life massively changed, absolutely massively changed. And what's really interesting is that I didn't find it particularly comfortable to ask people that I knew for help, so I never asked friends, I never asked family. When I had little children, I never asked people to babysit. I just did everything on my own because I felt that I should, and then, if I didn't, it was because I was a failure. And the first person that I actually asked for help was a person that I paid a significant amount of money to for the privilege of this help, and it changed my life in so many ways, so many ways. But the biggest way, I would say, is my confidence and belief that getting help from somebody that knows more than you will propel you forward in ways you would never really understand never. So, when you think about areas of your life right now that you are struggling with, maybe that's you're struggling with mindset, maybe that's struggling with your weight, maybe that's struggling with your willpower or your discipline or anything, or your discipline or anything. Is there somebody who is 10, 20, 30 steps ahead of you that you can ask for help, so that you aren't in the same place as you are right now, in a year's time, game changer. And the final commandment is number 10,.

Speaker 1:

Probably the most important of all of the commandments is being able to see the final movie scene. Now, what do I mean by that? What I mean is can you see visually in your mind what you're trying to create, who you're trying to be, what you're trying to become? Create who you're trying to be, what you're trying to become? If weight loss is a goal, what does the person that weighs the amount that you want to weigh look like? Can you visualize yourself in that scene, where you are, where you want to be? Can you see the smile on your face? Can you see what your hair looks like? Can you see what outfit you're wearing? Can you see who you're with? Can you see the environment that you are now in?

Speaker 1:

When you can see that final movie scene, nothing will stop you from getting there. If you can't picture it. That's the problem. Okay, it's not the tactic, it's not the things you've been trying. It's not what's gone before. It's not the things you've been trying, it's not what's gone before. It's the fact that you can't see where you're trying to go.

Speaker 1:

You haven't got the map, you haven't got the final destination in your mind, and that's so important. If you were to get on the m1 with a map but you didn't know where you were going, what you were aiming for, you would really struggle to get there. It doesn't matter whether you've got the best aa map or the latest sat nav get there. It doesn't matter whether you've got the best AA map or the latest sat nav or whatever. It really doesn't matter. If you don't know where you're going, you're going to probably not get there. So take all of these commandments, but focus first on number 10. Yes, that vision can change Absolutely. When I imagined my vision 10 years ago, it looked very, very different from where I am now Very, very different. But every year I reassess the vision, every week I reassess the vision, and that is the biggest game changer of all. So that completes today's episode.

Speaker 1:

I hope that you got something from this episode, some juicy nuggets, whatever it may be. I hope it inspired you to take action, to really strive for excellence and practicing that pro-athlete mentality in whatever you are doing today. And if you would like more help with your own journey, creating your final movie scene, then all you need to do is click the link in the show notes below. Book a call with myself. We can have a good old knit natter, knit, natter chit chat. That was what I was going for, about where you are and the vision that you have for your life. We can look at where you're struggling and create a bit of a game plan to get you where you want to be. Until the next episode, please keep feeding your health.