The Feed My Health Podcast

Your Thoughts Are Not Always True: Three Questions That Will Change Your Life

• Rosalind Tapper

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Mindset is the foundation of everything we do, and it's more than just "being in the right headspace" - it's about your identity and the stories you tell yourself that either propel you forward or keep you stuck.

• The key to transformation isn't finding the perfect diet or exercise plan
• Waiting to "be in the right mindset" before taking action is backward thinking
• You must become the person who achieves goals, not wait to feel ready
• We rarely question our negative thoughts, accepting them as truth
• Three powerful questions to challenge limiting beliefs:
 1. Is it actually true?
 2. Can I absolutely know it's true?
 3. How do I react when I believe this thought?
• Changing your self-talk from "I always fail" to "I'm learning and growing" changes everything
• Intelligent, capable women often feel defeated when it comes to their own health
• The only thing standing in your way is the belief that you can't change
• Sharing resources like this episode helps others feel less alone

Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it - if you want to go slow, go alone; if you want to go fast, go together.


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Speaker 1:

Welcome back everybody to the Feed my Health podcast. I hope you're all having a wonderful day, and if you're new here, then this is the place where we break free from diets, ditch the self-doubt and finally step into the version of ourselves we know we're meant to be. My name is Rosalind. I am the owner of Feed my Health online coaching and, honestly, it's the best flipping coaching program since sliced bread and yes, you could eat bread. Story for another time.

Speaker 1:

However, we're going to be talking not about bread today. We're going to be talking about something that affects everything, and a lot of women, a lot of women that speak to me, a lot of women who are going about their days and never have spoken to me will think that the answer to their weight loss problems is not having the perfect solution, not having the perfect diet, maybe not doing the perfect training program, and, whilst all of those things are relevant, we focus too much on them as being the reason why we are either succeeding or we're struggling, and I know for a fact that it isn't just about food, it isn't just about exercise. It's also about your mindset, and I also think that mindset is more than just being in the right mindset. This is something that I hear a lot people will say to me. I need to be in the right mindset. This is something that I hear a lot People will say to me. I need to be in the mindset to do something, or I need to be in the right mindset or I'm not in the right mindset, or whatever it was.

Speaker 1:

Or if they did something really well in the past and I'm using words that I hear, not words that I would say myself when I did Slimming World, I was really good and I was really focused and I was in the zone and I had the right mindset and I sort of get it but I also think that getting yourself into the mindset where you're happy to restrict and go and not eat actual food or take food groups out of your diet or drink only shakes is going to take some like one hell of a lot of discipline. And if you're then thinking that you're not going to change your body because you'll have to be in that same mindset as you were, then that it makes perfect sense that you think that you need to be in that mindset because the thing that you were doing took a hell of a lot of discipline and struggle when actually it's not necessary. So I know I'm kind of going off on a little bit of a tangent there, but your mindset is more than just you waiting to feel like you're in the mindset. Your mindset is your personality, it's your identity, and waiting to become somebody to achieve a goal is the wrong way around. You have to become the person, and that person then achieves said goal.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to go into that in a little bit more detail later on, but we are going to be talking a lot about mindset today and it's like I said, it's not just about food, it's not just about workouts. Your mindset is the foundation of every single thing that you do, and if you've ever found yourself thinking I can't do this, I always fail, what's the point in trying then? Then this episode really really is for you, and it's not necessarily has to do with, like, weight loss or, you know, your health. You can actually use this in all areas of your life. So maybe you're thinking about a relationship, Maybe you're thinking about something that you need to do at work. It's all going to be really relevant, and I think the problem with mindset sometimes as well is it can be a little bit wishy-washy, and I actually want to give you some tangible steps that you can use, once you've finished listening to this episode, to help you in your everyday life. So we're going to be talking about three powerful questions and a simple yet life-changing way to challenge the thoughts that keep you stuck, because if we don't question them, they will control you, and then, once they do, that's when we finally start to make some real change, and that's where things get very, very exciting, because actually, you are in control of your reality. You are in control of your results, and if I can make that a little bit easier by sharing these things, then I'm going to.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about your thoughts. I want you to think about the last time that you felt stuck. I want you to think about the last time that you felt stuck. So maybe you stepped on the scales and you felt defeated. Maybe you looked in the mirror and thought, oh my gosh, I literally look exactly the same. Maybe you then skipped a workout and immediately went see, like I always mess up. I thought this was going to be different, but I always mess up.

Speaker 1:

We all have these thoughts all the time, but have you ever actually stopped to question them? And this is a critical part of the puzzle that is always missing, I find, because we behave in a certain way and we react in a certain way, but we never stop to actually smell the roses. Or, to put it another way, actually stop to think about why we behaved in that way or why did we think that? And this is game changing. So we just believe our thoughts because we think them. Of course, we're so full of ourselves, we think that our thoughts are true, we think that what we believe is is true and we don't question them. But here's my question to you what if they're not actually true? What if they're just stories that you've been telling yourself for years? Okay, and that's where we're going to go and tackle these three questions and you can then use them.

Speaker 1:

So, question number one when a thought comes in, you're going to ask yourself this is it actually true? So this is where you would pause and let's say the thought I'm never going to lose weight. Okay, let's say you've been struggling for years and you think to yourself I am never going to lose weight. Then you ask yourself but is that true? Now your gut reaction might be well, yeah, look at my history, roz. I've tried everything and nothing works. I can lose a bit of weight, but then I stop and then it comes back on again. You know the proof is there. Then it comes back on again. You know the proof is there. But if you just take a breath and ask yourself, is what I'm thinking, is what I'm actually saying, really true? Have you never made progress before? Have you never felt better, even just for a moment? Or is it possible that the truth is a little bit more complex? So the reality is you can lose weight, you can feel strong, you can feel confident, you can feel happy in your body, but when you believe the thought that I can't, it actually stops you from even trying, and that's an identity thing. So the next time you catch yourself in that spiral, pause and ask is it actually true? Now, if we were going to use this in terms of friendships.

Speaker 1:

So one of the things that I hear quite a lot and I've been in this situation myself many years ago was I would feel really uncomfortable going out with friends when I was overweight, because I would feel that people would be talking about me or making comments about me, or you know, when you go home and they're back in the day when people used to have to phone people to communicate, they'd be chatting on the phone saying, oh my god, this, oh my god, that there was no actual proof that that ever happened. It was just a belief or a thought that I had in my head. So if I'd have asked myself this question then, oh my gosh, you know people are going to be talking about me, they're going to be judging me and I'd ask myself but is that actually true? I wouldn't have had any evidence to suggest that that was actually true, wouldn't have had any evidence to suggest that that was actually true. It was just something that I was creating in my mind, and it's almost like you create your own little defense mechanism. Like you, you create the story that's so bad in your mind so that, if it does become true, you can tell yourself ah see, you were right, roz. And then the defenses. So you know we are our own worst enemies.

Speaker 1:

But the question number one to ask yourself whenever any negative thought comes into your head, practice it with positive thoughts as well. Is it actually true? The second question is can you absolutely know it's true? Here's where it gets really interesting. So let's say you're still really convinced. Yes, Roz, it's definitely true. I always fail. Now ask yourself can I absolutely, 100% know that this is true, and I mean absolutely no room for doubt at all? Can you really know that you'll never succeed? Can you be absolutely certain that change isn't possible for you? And I bet the answer's no, because you don't know what's ahead, you don't know what you're truly capable of. And when you stop believing the thought that you're stuck, you've got no idea like you could move mountains, and when we admit that we can't be absolutely sure, we then open the door for a new possibility, a new story and maybe a nicer story. Okay, so you're affirming to yourself is it absolutely true? Is it absolutely true?

Speaker 1:

Question three is how do you react when you believe that thought? Now this again. I keep saying this, but honestly, it will change your life. If you actually implement this stuff. It will change your life. I can guarantee it. This is where the magic happens.

Speaker 1:

So let's say you do believe the thought. I always fail. What happens? How do you actually feel? How do you actually feel when you tell yourself I always fail? You probably feel quite frustrated. You probably feel hopeless. You probably feel exhausted. You probably feel defeated, maybe a little defeated, maybe a little bit sad, maybe a little bit snappy. And when you feel that way, what do you do? You self-sabotage. You think, well, why bother? You always eat the thing, you always skip the workout, and then you use it as proof that you were right. You always fail. So can you see how this cycle is happening.

Speaker 1:

But now I want you to imagine that same moment, but without the thought. Imagine stepping on the scale, looking in the mirror or missing a workout. Instead of thinking I always fail, you think I'm learning, I'm trying and I'm not giving up. I'm learning, I'm trying and I'm not giving up. How would that change things? How do you feel when you believe that thought instead? So I want you to picture the scene.

Speaker 1:

It's a Monday morning and you jump on the scales and the weight. Your scale has gone up Now. Over the weekend, you've had maybe two or three more indulgent meals, you've had a couple of glasses of wine or a gin and tonic, you've had a few bites of a cake that you haven't accounted for, you've had more than maybe you should have done based on your goal, and so the scale's gone up. How does it change things when you change what you say to yourself, okay. So if you were then to jump on the scale and say, okay, this is information, this is feedback, that in this moment, in this second, my body weighs more today, right now, than it did yesterday or the day before, what am I going to learn from this? Am I going to keep trying? Am I going to keep? Am I going to give up? You're going to say I'm learning. This is feedback, I'm trying, I'm not going to give up. It's just a weekend. Today's a new day. Today's a fresh day to work on my goals again.

Speaker 1:

That would change things for you massively, because then you're the one that's in control. And how do you feel when you believe that thought? Instead, you would feel more hopeful, you'd feel more patient and, like I said, you'd feel more in control. And when you feel that way, you will get back on track with things much faster. You keep, you treat yourself sorry with kindness instead of punishment. All the time, you make choices that move you forwards instead of keeping you stuck, and that's when change happens. You know, when we start to actually question our own thoughts, because you and I and everybody else, we're our own worst enemies. We will see the good in everybody else and the bad in ourselves. Somebody gives you a compliment. Oh yeah, this old thing you know. And this is the thing thing you know, and this is a thing you know. If you start to make it normal to challenge yourself and question yourself and question your thoughts and reframe them, look for the proof, look for the evidence and then reframe them, your body language will change, your physiology will change, your mood will change.

Speaker 1:

Have you ever this is a classic have you ever been in a situation where you've been invited for a night out and you go and it's time for you to get ready and you've been putting it off all day? And you stand in your wardrobe if you've got a walk-in, if you stand outside of your wardrobe if you don't have a walk-in. You're standing near your wardrobe thinking what the hell am I going to wear? But I just don't know what I'm going to wear. Oh, and then you find something. You go, I'll try that on and it doesn't fit. Or you turn to the side and your belly's sticking out, or you know you can't cover up your rolls, or you can't do do the zip up or anything that just makes you feel uncomfortable. How does it change your mood. How does it change your physiology? You feel sad, you feel frustrated, you feel defeated, but that's happening day in, day out, without the wardrobe being there.

Speaker 1:

Whenever you speak to yourself about whether you can or can't do something, that's what you're doing to yourself. So change the way you speak to yourself internally and it will change everything for you. So now what, roz? So here's what I want you to do this week out. What was so? Here's what I want you to do this week.

Speaker 1:

Every time you catch yourself in one of those old thoughts, the ones that make you feel stuck, I want you to pause and ask is it true? Can I absolutely know it's true? And how do I react when I believe it? And then I want you to flip it. So try on a different thought, one that's actually going to help you. So, instead of I always fail, what if you believed I'm learning and growing? Instead of I'm never going to change? What if it was? Every choice I make is progress. You are very capable and I'm actually so sick of talking to grown ass intelligent women, women who have had careers and children and houses and animals. Capable women who, when it comes to themselves, just feel completely defeated. You can change if you want to, and the only thing standing in your way is the belief that you can't. So I hope that this resonated with you and I hope that it's helped you, maybe give you a little bit of a pep talk for a Monday.

Speaker 1:

Let me know how you found this episode and please share it with a friend, because here's the thing I think that women specifically don't like to share things because they feel like it's almost like them saying everybody. I admit that this is what I'm struggling with, like it's a weakness, but what I find is, the more you share, the more you realize you're not on your own and there's more power in going together. So there's this real, really great phrase. I love this phrase and I'm going to try not to butcher it now because I'm thinking of it off the top of my head. Um, if you want to go slow, go alone. If you want to go slow, go alone. If you want to go fast, go together.

Speaker 1:

Think about that. There is going to be somebody in your life right now, somebody that you adore, who you care about massively. Rather than buying them a gift or I don't know, whatever you think that person wants, how about sharing something with them, like this episode, where they can feel less alone, where they can gain a tip, a free tip that didn't cost you anything. Imagine that feeling of giving back to somebody. Okay, honestly, it would be. It would be one of the best gifts you could give somebody, somebody who's probably really struggling but doesn't know what to do. If you have resources to listen to this, please pass it forward. Anyway, because the thing as well is, the more you start questioning your thoughts, the more power you will take back thoughts, the more power you will take back and I know for me, I know for lots of women when you start to feel powerless, that's when things start to kind of spiral out of control and you need to step into your power and take it back and take control Until the next time. No-transcript.