The Feed My Health Podcast

Mastering Your Summer Routine PT. 2 - Keeping Healthy Habits Alive

• Rosalind Tapper

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The summer holidays are approaching, and that familiar sense of dread is creeping in. Your carefully crafted routines are about to be thrown into chaos as school ends and the kids are home all day. How will you maintain your health habits when your schedule is no longer your own?

This powerful episode tackles the universal challenge of maintaining structure during school breaks. Drawing from personal experience as both a child and a parent, I share the critical mistakes most of us make: expecting our days to remain unchanged, abandoning our self-care routines, and allowing guilt to dictate our choices. The solution isn't complicated, but it requires something many of us struggle with – putting ourselves first.

Learn how to craft your "perfect day" by getting granular about what you truly need, then implementing these elements even when children or grandchildren demand attention. Discover why clear communication about your needs isn't selfish but essential, and how setting boundaries actually leads to more meaningful family time. The key insight? Quality time trumps quantity every time, and you'll show up better for your loved ones when you've honored your own health first.

Whether you're a parent dreading weeks of entertaining bored children, a grandparent helping with childcare, or anyone whose routine gets disrupted by seasonal changes, this episode provides actionable strategies to maintain your health year-round. Remember: there are 365 days in a year, and every single one is an opportunity to feed your health. The most challenging days are precisely when you need your healthy habits most.

Ready to transform how you approach school holidays? Listen now and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this message – your future self will thank you.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to part two of navigating the summer holidays. Now, hopefully you've listened to part one, which was all about food challenges, and that was the biggest challenge that you guys told me that you faced during the school summer holidays, and so that was the reason why I tackled that first. In this episode we're actually gonna be talking about routines, structure and habits, because it's all well and good having the plans and the intentions, but without an actual structure, it's really difficult to actually make things happen. Now, in the first part, where I talked about summer holiday and the food challenges, I started by talking a little bit about my experiences with what summers were like for me as a child, but also what it was like for me with my children and in the areas that I struggled, and I want to start off by saying like talking really to how this relates to scheduling and things. So the big reason why I would not like the summer holidays or sort of dreaded the summer holidays. Now, I also know that there were a lot of parents when my kids were infants in junior school that also were dreading the summer holidays, and it's because you're quote unquote out of your normal routine when kids are at school, you are in the swing of things. You have your little routine. You take the kids to school, maybe you go to the gym, maybe you go and do a workout class, maybe you go and meet friends, maybe you go to work, maybe you're retired and you have grandkids, and maybe you know, typically in your week, you, you know you go about your day, how you want to go about your day. Maybe you've still got a job, maybe your kids are older. You know there's so many different things, but regardless of where you are in your life, you will have a routine that becomes your norm, that becomes your comfort blanket, essentially.

Speaker 1:

Then, as soon as you know, summer rolls around and maybe you're being asked to look after your grandkids, or maybe you've offered to look after your grandkids, or maybe you've offered to look after your grandkids, or maybe you are the parent and you are at home with the kids all the time and you need to make you know you need to change your schedule. That suddenly becomes a source of stress and when we think about our health, even more so, because our health, typically, is built on the routines and the behavi behaviors and the habits that we have created and that we do most of the time. So that feeling of uncertainty, of oh you know, my schedule's about to change, things are about to change how is this going to help or hinder me over the summer months can be a real source of stress for a lot of people. So I want to shed a little bit of light on what changes that I've made and what I feel that we need to be focusing on first and foremost Now, when I think about those times when I really really struggled with my children and they're being very, very little and the angst that I had around the holidays. Like I said, it was to do with the fact that I knew that my schedule was not going to be the same and that my time was not going to be my own. So the biggest mistakes that I made were basically allowing my children to consume my entire day. Now you might be thinking well, that's quite normal. You know you've got your kids off at school, they want to have a good summer. You want to give them a good summer. You want to be doing this, be doing this, that and the other. Make your memories and all the rest that's fantastic, but what I was doing, and what I see a lot of women doing, is making all of their free time about those children, grandparents making all of the time that they have those children, about the grandchildren, and there is a big difference between quality time and time. So that's the first thing that I want to mention. So you think about it.

Speaker 1:

If we were rewind back, my kids would get up in the morning, like most kids do, and the whole day was on their terms, at their speed, and it it evolved around what they wanted. Okay, we had a couple of kids when they were really little that would still nap, but I mean they were little, little. And then the last one, gabriel, just didn't nap at all and in some ways that was quite helpful because it got me used to the fact that, okay, when they're not at school, there's probably not going to be any napping going on anymore, but it was finding stuff for them to do, because when they were in the house they were just bored, like they were like getting all the toys out and there was toys everywhere and then they'd put on you know blooming cbb's and I'd drive myself mad listening to Eagle Piggle. Honest to God, like if you know, you know, just yeah, it was just all-consuming.

Speaker 1:

And if you don't have your routine and your structure and your things. You can go literally crazy and then you spend all of summer counting down the days before they go back to school or or, and during that holiday, you will do anything you can to feel calm and relaxed, and often this will come in the form of self-soothing. So it will be food, alcohol, any other sort of negative habits or behaviors just to help you cope. And this is when we start to lose control over what we need, what's important to us, and I want you to remember this. There are 365 days in a year, and every single one of those days it is important that you look after you. Now there are going to be some days where that's going to feel so much easier. There are going to be some days where you literally want to put your head under a cushion. And you know, think, roz, I don't even know what you're talking about. There's no way in hell I can look after myself today Like life is just too stressful you're talking about. There's no way in hell I can look after myself today like life is just too stressful. In those moments, in those most stressful days, they are the days that you need to show up for yourself even more, because they're the days that you have essentially primed yourself to get through by focusing on your yourself and your health every single day. So one thing that I always say is you know, I often have clients that will say to me oh you know, should I wait until after my holiday to start doing X Y, z? Should I wait until after life, like when life calms down a little bit? Absolutely not. You need to learn how to look after your health, whatever that looks like for you in the hardest, darkest, deepest, most challenging times, because that's when you really need it. And if you can overcome the hardest, darkest, deepest, most challenging times and still look after your health, my goodness me, you are winning when life feels easy. Okay, so that's the first thing I want to say.

Speaker 1:

Now here's the mistakes I made. There were many. I would expect, with the children being off school, that I was able to have a lie-in in the mornings. Big mistake. We have this idea that, oh, it's going to be so nice, slower mornings. Okay, there is a difference between a slow morning and expecting to have a lie-in. When you expect to have a lie-in and you are rudely awoken by a child who's just spilled a whole box of Rice Krispies on the floor, you're going to wake up in a really bad mood Okay, a really bad mood.

Speaker 1:

So the big mistake that I made was having unrealistic expectations, but also not creating expectations and boundaries with my children. I had boundaries with my children with so many things this is what blows my mind. So we'd have boundaries and expectations with things like bedtime and waking up time. We weren't the kind of parents that would tolerate our kids waking up at 5am and expecting us to wake up at 5am Absolutely not. Nor did we allow them to just come in our bedroom whenever they wanted to, and bedtime was bedtime. So we have boundaries, but for me, that's when it stopped, when it came to like time management and routine and things like that.

Speaker 1:

So what I probably should have done, what I know to be true now and this is a lesson for anybody, no matter what stage of life is to take your most perfect day and replicate that every single day, but be flexible Now when you think about how you can action this. I want you to take 30 minutes, maybe 60 minutes, and sit down with a nice cup of tea or a nice herbal tea or whatever. Whatever your tipple of choice is some nice background music, and I actually want you to map out what your perfect day would look like. This is actually something that we ask all new clients to do when they join Feed my Health, because this is what everything should be built on. What, to you, is your perfect day? And go really granular, granular, granular, granular, granular. There we go granular with with it.

Speaker 1:

So don't just go right, wake up at seven, go for a walk at eight, think about every tiny little detail, what, what do you do when you wake up? Do you sit in bed and do you have a nice cup of coffee? Do you have a conversation with your husband for 10 minutes? Do you maybe start reading a chapter of a book? Like really, really romanticize this day. And obviously they're going to be different days. They're going to be work days, there's going to be play days, there's going to be all kinds of days. But map out what mostly happens in your perfect day, and I would also recommend you map out a weekday and a weekend, because typically they are the two different kinds of days.

Speaker 1:

Once you've mapped out that day, I want you to start playing at replicating it in real life. So let's say it's the school summer holidays, your kids are at home and you decide to do this exercise. Let's map out my perfect day. Okay, fantastic. So now what needs to happen tonight for you to execute on your perfect day straight away, because there is no perfect time than yesterday and the next best time is today. Okay, so what needs to happen tonight in order for you to start working towards your perfect day?

Speaker 1:

Now, when I say perfect day, I don't want you to get perfectionistic about this. If something doesn't go the way you planned, that's absolutely fine, and that happens in everyday life. You don't decide one day to learn to ride a bike and then, on day one, you get on that bike and you do 10 miles. No, you get on that bike and you fall off and you go oh crap, it wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be, you know. So don't be perfectionistic about this, but use it as an opportunity to craft your most romanticized life and add new bits to it every single day. So maybe on day one you're like right, I want to to get up, I want to have time to sit in bed with a coffee and my book and I'd like to read for half an hour great, so that's maybe what we work on tomorrow and also on your perfect list. You might then say, right, and then after that, I'm going to go for a walk around the block. It's going to take me 20 minutes and then a shower great.

Speaker 1:

Well, maybe on the first day you didn't manage to achieve all of those four things because by practicing it you realized oh, there's a little bit of an issue there or there's a little bit of a challenge there. Something needs to change. Like, maybe I need to get up a little bit earlier to ensure that I'm able to go for a walk, so that my husband's still at home, so that I can, you know, go for that walk alone. Or maybe you think, ah, ah, okay, I need to go for that walk. I also need to take my child with me, so I need to make sure that there's an alarm set for them so that they can get up. You know, there's always going to be things that you need to test out, play around with, but don't be defeated if what you expect of yourself doesn't happen first time. It's all about creating your life, and you've got so much life left to live. Have fun with it.

Speaker 1:

The other thing that I want to say is keep your routine, as all of the routine that you have, that's not in the summer that you enjoy. Keep it in your summer holiday days. So if you typically like to get up and you would normally do the school run or you would go to work or whatever it is, and you're finding yourself one day not doing that, still replicate the same routine. Now, yeah, you may have saved yourself a little bit of time and you don't have to do the school run, so what can you do instead? Can you go for a walk? Can you do two classes that day? Try and keep the routine the same, and this is where it will highlight to you what you're doing in your typical day that you can maybe get rid of. That's wasting time, and it will also highlight where you need to ask for help. So if you still want to go to those classes and go to the gym and go and do the walk, but you're finding it more challenging because you have little children under four, well then, who can you ask to help you? Is there anybody that you can ask? A family member, a friend? Can you do the same for them? I'll scratch your back, you scratch mine it. Does the gym have a crash facility? Maybe this is something that we need to consider when joining a gym. Okay, great, this gym looks fantastic, but do you have a facility where my children can go when the holidays happen so that I don't have to stop doing what I value Really? Really key Put yourself first Other things that you can do to replicate your routine.

Speaker 1:

If you typically like to go out for a daily walk like I do, this was a massive learning curve for me. By the way, this changed my belief system so much I can't even tell you so. When I started going for my daily walks, I would easily, easily do my daily walks, but when somebody came to visit, I would feel this pang of guilt. It's like, oh, I don't think I can go for my walk, especially if they've got up earlier than me and they're sort of sat downstairs waiting for everybody to wake up. I can't then just suddenly go out the door and say, see you later. And that was my beliefs talking because I was afraid of what they might think and I have no control over what another person thinks. All I can do is communicate. All I can do is communicate what I want to do and what I need for myself. So the night before it would have made more sense for me to say just to let you know, in the morning I'm going to be heading out for a walk. I'm usually around 45 minutes, but when I get back we'll sit down together. We'll have a lovely breakfast. Help yourself to tea and coffee while I'm gone. There's the remote if you want it. There's some great books on the bookshelf. I won't be long. Simple.

Speaker 1:

The first time that my mother-in-law came over to our house and I decided I was going to go out for my walk regardless, I had this little you know that little devil on my shoulder going. Shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have done that. As soon as I walked out the door I was like free. It was the most freeing moment and decision that I'd ever made and it was the best decision that I'd ever made. And now here's what's cool. Now people expect that of me. They keep my bar raised because now they see me as Ros goes for a walk every day. That's just what she does. They expect me to do it. They say, oh, what time are you going for your walk? And that's an amazing thing. So think about all the things that you put off doing or asking for or saying because of the belief that you hold about what somebody's going to think of you. That's a really good way to kind of look at what you're putting off in your life as well, just as a reframe, asking yourself why get really curious, why don't I want to continue going for my walks? Why do I feel like I can't ask my husband to get up earlier and help me or whatever, really really getting very super deep on what it is that's stopping you from living the life that you want to live.

Speaker 1:

The next important piece is communication. So this can start really as early as I don't know one. Maybe Getting into the habit of communicating is a really fantastic thing, and communicating with your spouse, your children, your grandchildren about what it is you need and what it is you want, so that they understand, because typically, if there are ever any issues with anything from anybody, it's down to a lack of them understanding. I'll give you an example of where this is true. Okay, so let's imagine that your partner really irritates you. They are constantly leaving their socks on the floor in the bathroom and they never put them in the wash basket. Now, every single day you see these socks on the floor and you say nothing. You just huff and tut and you grab them and you put them in the basket. Your husband has got no idea that that irritates you. In fact, quite the opposite, because he's been doing it for so long and getting away with it. It doesn't even occur to him that it's a problem.

Speaker 1:

Now you imagine that on day 100, you suddenly turn around after a bad day at work and go for God's sake, why do you keep leaving these socks on the floor and expecting me to pick them up? Suddenly, 100 days of accumulated anger is built up into this massive, massive argument. And it didn't need to be that way and it was only down to lack of communication. Suddenly he's on the back foot thinking oh my goodness, I can't believe he's just had this massive outburst. How unfair, how unreasonable. And in your head you're thinking he should know. Well, no, nobody should know what's going on in your head unless you explain it, unless you say, unless you communicate it. Okay, when you communicate things, it keeps everybody on the same page and then they make a decision as to whether they want to listen and act on what you've communicated. So everybody has a choice here. But if you don't communicate something from day one, then nobody knows.

Speaker 1:

And if you put up with something for a long period of time, you will continue to put up with it and they will continue to do the thing that annoys you, because they don't know it annoys you. So, going back to how this can help over the summer, communicate early Now. Typically I would say the week before a child breaks up from school. But there's no better time to do this. To be honest, you could do this right now. Communicate and say look, I typically go to the gym three days a week or I typically work out from home three days a week on Monday, wednesday and Friday. I like to go for a walk around 45 minutes and I don't typically snack in the daytime. So over the next eight weeks or however long, I'm still going to be doing all of those things.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you are going to communicate this to your spouse, to your partner, or your adult children, if they're asking you to look after the grandkids, then this is really something that's very, very important to say. I am available to help you between this time and this time, but I am going to be doing X, y and Z. Okay, if you want some strong boundaries, that's what you can say. If you want to be a little bit more flexible, you could say I am going to be doing my walk, my workouts, three times a week between this time and this time. Let me know how I can help you so that I can still do those things as well. Communicate with your husband if he's going to work and you're at home with the kids. So the kids are off school now and I am still going to be working out Not I want to or I can I, but I'm going to be. I'm going to be doing my workouts. I'm going to be working out not I want to or I can I, but I'm going to be. I'm going to be doing my workouts, I'm going to be doing my walks. So I need you to help a little bit more with regards to maybe getting up a little bit earlier or taking the kids while I go, and then give them an op like give them a couple of choices like which one would be better for you, this one or this one. And then here's a here's a cheeky little something to to keep in your back pocket. Is, if you give people choices, they feel like they've made the decision out of their own mind. If you tell somebody there's only one choice, they'll feel like backed into a corner.

Speaker 1:

So, communication, similarly with children. You know you could say here's a, here's a great example, actually right, with the children. So we would communicate with our children at the weekend. We'd say so. I want you guys to understand that every weekend we are going to be going out for a walk as a family. Doesn't matter what you want to do at the weekend, like, I'm happy to take you to your friends houses, I'm happy for your friends to come here, I'm happy for you to lie in bed, but we, at some point in the weekend, are going to be going out for a walk. So I just wanted to give you all a heads up simple communication. They know where they stand now. They know that at the weekend, the expectation is that we're all going to go out for a walk. There's no, oh, my god, but I'm doing this. Or oh, I'm too busy. Or oh, I can't be bothered or do I have to like. No, that's the expectation and it's the end of the conversation.

Speaker 1:

Because when it comes to children, yes, you can have a this or that scenario that you can give them a choice, but there are going to be certain things that you value as a family. Health is one of my strong values and I know how important it was for my life as a child to be to go out for walks with my, my family, right. It set a really good foundation for me as an adult and I really truly value that. So for me, it's a massive value and when I live in accordance with my values, I feel great. So it's the same for you. It's. Don't compromise your values and what you know is incredible for you and ultimately incredible for your children, just because of maybe a slightly awkward conversation or a little bit of kickback or worrying about what people think, because that really will lead you into a life of resentment, irritation, feeling stuck, going backwards. It's just not necessary at all. So communication is a really, really important thing.

Speaker 1:

Replicate your schedule that you would normally have outside of summer. Replicate it as closely as possible in the summer holidays and stick to it as much as you can, with allowing a little bit of flexibility. Concoct your summers together so that you've got a good balance of things so that you can still do the things that you want to do and your kids can do the things that they want to do. And then, when you come together, you're all going to feel really refreshed and ready to spend good quality time together. And this is really important for grandparents who are actively looking after their children to help their children out grandchildren sorry to help their children out or they've offered to have the grandchildren to come and stay. Yes, you want to spend all the time with them and look after them and take them on great experiences, but ultimately, you are going to show up so much better for them and be more present for them. If you've had a little bit of time for yourself every single day and that might just be starting your morning with a nice cup of coffee in bed and a book and that's absolutely fine you do not need to feel bad about it. You do not need to feel guilty about it, but replicate your routine as much as you possibly can and you will live the most perfect life based on your perfect day. I hope this has been helpful and you've enjoyed this.

Speaker 1:

Part two of how to navigate the summer. This, honestly, can be used year round and should be used year round, if I'm honest, in exactly the same way that you know, christmas will come up and Easter will come up and bank holidays will come up. We can take a lot of this from this episode and put it into other parts of the year, because, ultimately, your health is going to be with you year round, and so what you do every single day is going to make or break it, and often, when we don't do things because we feel bad or we feel guilty, it's got nothing to do with fear or guilt. It's everything to do with our beliefs and us trying to control what other people do, think or say, and we cannot do that. So keep feeding your health, guys. I hope you're enjoying a fantastic summer. Whatever you are doing, remember to share this episode with somebody, whether it's a grandparent, an in-law, a friend. It will probably really help somebody in fact, I know it will definitely help somebody and until next time, keep feeding your health.